I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

You people are out of your fucking minds.

Yez.

Yez.

Yep.

No question.

I'd let someone get away with arguing this one, but in my opinion, yeah.

Undoubtedly.

Please.

I'm talking about pure talent here. Some of those guys may have him beat in terms of the substance and message of their songs, but for pure skills, no one beats Biggie. No one. Period. End of Story.

Being a good hip hop artist means you have flow. Flow is hard to explain, but it's the ability to make the words you spit fit the music well. Eminem has flow. Rakim and Chuck D and Tupac had it too.

The difference between Biggie and everyone else (except maybe eminem and Tupac) is that he can flow on any type of beat. This is one of my biggest criticisms of Fifty Cent. Sure he sounds great on In Da Club and Wanksta. But those beats were built with his style in mind. Put him on a faster song, one suited to Outkast for example and watch him flounder. Rakim's songs all sounded somewhat similar in style. Mind blowing at the time, but he fell off because he can't switch style. Same with Chuck D. Same with countless others.

What separates Biggie from the best is that not only can he flow on any type of beat, he can switch his style a number of different ways on any given song. When he freestyles (underground tapes and live performances -- I've only seen a few), he blows your mind because not only is he making up the lyrics on the spot, but he switches his style back, forth, up and down at the same time. Enormous talent.

Puffy watered him down a lot because if there's one thing Puffy learned is that the more people can understand your artist, the more successful you are (see Mace).

And he's a great story teller. He can describe the scene and feel of a story better than anyone I've ever seen. Slick Rick had this ability. Biggie had it too. Difference is, he's got the whole package.

I've never heard a song Biggie did that was bad. He was on another level. Ask any hip hop head (who isn't from The South where they listen to almost nothing but crap) and they'll tell you he was the best or will put him in the top three.

TM

Reading Comprehension 101
 

I'm fantasizing about a woman shoving a big cork in your mouth? Is that equally problematic from a gender standpoint?

Actually, I'm fantasizing about an industrial accident in which you break both your hands. Or a blackout in your neighborhood. Ooh baby.

Barbi Benton Beav Style Poll
 

(a) The Hitler Stash is leaving a small wisp of hair at the top that Fla State girls think looks sexy.

(b) You misunderstand. My question was "Does Playboy set the standard for the style for all women at any given time?" not "How do the chicks in Playboy decide their style?"

(c) Aestheticians?

In defense of Elvis
 

Oh, for crying out loud. Bilmore, are you seriously suggesting that Monica was coerced into her relationship with Bill? Jesus H. Christ. Are you going to be talking about the Death List and the Mesa airstrip next?

And, yes, had she contended that she was coerced, the power disparity would make a great argument for her. The only problem with your attempt to bash NOW for a double standard on this issue is the minor detail that Monica never said that she was coerced into doing something that she didn't want to do. Quite the contrary.

Barbi Benton Beav Style Poll
 

Slightly related is one of The Onion's Prom Planning Tips:

Prom night is one of the most memorable nights of your life, so don't ruin it by neglecting to wax. No guy wants to go down on a gorilla salad.

Gorilla Salad - I nearly fell out of my chair...

The Husband's Using Porn! Goodness!
 

I am more than happy to have this board be all about me. It is paigow that is upset by that.


I feel sad for both this woman and this man. They are sexually mismatched. She is a prude and he is normal. They should divorce.

Oh, and Seb, there's an idea for you. You don't have to get your wife all cut-up and sucked out. You can just watch porn.

Reading Comprehension 101
 

No, I never said that anything you described would qualify as a rape. I said that your description of why you enjoy what you described reminded me of a wannabe rapist who, as you pointed out, isn't really in it for the sex.

The Genius Known As ABBAKiss

AI Fashion
 

He must be trying for worst dressed. Just take off the jacket, even, and go casual in the dockers and t-shirt. But with the jacket he looks like yet another producer trying to get into the porm industry. I think he's really hot, and should be wearing something besides dark grey. He looked great last season, and it didn't seem to have too much of a negative effect on the attractiveness of those contestants. Then again, there was still Brian Dunkleman to balance his hotness (if that's a word).

I also caught the last few minutes of the Bachelor last night (and will now ignore the show until the finale). Andrew needs to find shirts where the collar doesn't rise up so far above his jacket. Something about it seems really off. Is there a rule about how far above your jacket collar your chirt collar should be?

C(this season of the Bachelor seems made for meltdowns and catfights)deuced

Reading Comprehension 101
 

No, that is not. That is simply an act of violence, but not a rape because there is no sex act.

That just makes you a bad person. But I already knew that once I found out you live in Marin.

Perfectly acceptable. No violence, no fantasies of bodily harm.

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

I agree that flow is crucial and that Biggie could flow.

Content-wise, I couldn't recall a single song with a memorable lyric.

Even(stop disrespecting the Dirty-Dirty -- if not for the South you wouldn't have "Me So Horny")Odds

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

TM,

I'm out. I cry uncle. I'm found to be a lacking dilletante in this arena.

I still dig Chuck D the most. No reason why. I just think he was the Johnny Rotten of rap - whetever you were doing, when he was rapping, you were fucking listening. Biggie may have exceptional technique, but Chuck D could actually grab you by the ears and spin your brain.

Slick Rick is probably the smoothest I've ever heard, but as I said, I am obviously a dilletante here.

S(Did Rick get deported? I think Ashcroft and his thugs were trying to send Rick to England for some stupid immigration thing)D

Reading Comprehension 101
 

I have no idea what you mean by that and am now willing to stipulate that you and I are speaking different languages.

Reading Comprehension 101
 

TITS!!!!!

Reading Comprehension 101
 

That's perky C-cup TITS with rose-colored nipples to you.

changing subject
 

edit: guess that was a board killer. let's go back to talking about tits.

Speaking of Sexual Assault . . .
 

Kirby Puckett was acquitted.

Speaking of Sexual Assault . . .
 

Good.

I heard an anecdote that back in the day Kirby was whoring around with some women who were not as hot as they might have been and one of the coaches said, "Kirbster, why are you hanging out with those girls? They're twos and you can easily get a 10." To which Kirby replied, "I'd rather have five 2s than one 10."

His poor lied to wife. But I still heart him.

In defense of Elvis
 

Personally, Sebby, I certainly would not continue talking as if nothing were going on if I were speaking to you, because I am sure that in that situation you would be the cause of the erect nipples, and not merely the beneficiary of them. We would share a knowing glance and enjoy the moment.

But, if I were speaking to my ugly old boss (or JFF's b/f) and it happened because it was nipply in the room, or because I was thinking about you, what would you have me do? Should I say, "oops, high beam alert! Oh, don't worry, it's just cold in here, it's not you."






Silly boy.

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

Since I introduced this, I obviously agree. Esp. about the freestyles. But Ready To Die is a classic, and Life After Death is the only hip hop double album that would be hindered by editing down into a standard length album. I've been walking around the office today saying to myself:

NO-TO-RI-O/
US, you best, lay down slow.

But why hate on the dirty dirty? I love that Lil Flip. "Maybe buy the Rockets/Might just buy the Comets."

str(if I had to choose a coast, I'd have to choose the east)8

In defense of Elvis
 

My b/f is under the age of 45, has a full head of hair and is in better shape than most 30 year olds (many of whom don't have a full head of hair). He would make your nips stand at attention.

Analogies 101
 

It's amazing to me that you can talk so much about sex that you claim is totally hot and yet not cause my nipples to become erect.
Is anybody else having this experience?

I don't know, it must be something about your writing style.

Reading Comprehension 101
 

This argument (especially the narrow back and forth between Abba and JFF) is like playing Dungeons and Dragons. Even if you win, you're still a big dork.

str(DND is fun . . . FOR ME TO POOP ON)8

Just curious
 

JFF, please tell me of the following applies to you:

A) I have no idea how rEdiculous my posts make me look.

B) I know how rEdiculous my posts make me look, but IRL I am perfectly sane.

C) I really am this mean and bereft of social skills IRL and that is why have no friends.

D) I am a sock and I’m just funnin’ y’all.

This will be a big help in interpreting your future posts. Thanks.

In defense of Elvis
 

RP,

You can't mix sarcasm with the term "erect nipples." The male mind just starts thinking tits and a really fine piece of sarcasm is thus lain fallow...

S(... sarcasm... nice, round firm, perky sarcasm...)D

Analogies 101
 

Its because you're not gay. My posts about sex describe my body in detail, which may not be appealing to you if you are a hetero female. Men are rubbing their crotches when they read my posts, though.

Just curious
 

All of the above.

Just so you know, as long as you want to keep posting about me, I am here for you. Paigow finds it very upsetting, though, so you might want to factor that in depending on how you feel about her.

In defense of Elvis
 

Your b/f is Will Ferrell?

BTW, please stop abbreviating "boyfriend" as b/f. Everybody knows this stands for butt-fuck, and hearing you talk about buttlove is enough to make it sound dirty and unappealing.

In defense of Elvis
 

Well I appreciate the um, advice. But why assume I was being sarcastic? Didn't you say you were good lookin'?

Seriously, I appreciate having someone read my post the way it was meant to be read.

Analogies 101
 

You, jock itch and crabs.

No argument here.

OK, seriously, am I the only female who is nearly always totally unaware of the state of her nipples? I don't know what they are doing unless (a) I'm absolutely FREEZING or (b) I happen to see them (mirror, looking down).

f(they aren't terribly sensitive -- probably has something to do with it)b

Analogies 101
 

The voice of experience.

Analogies 101
 

Wrong. Research has shown that heterosexual women are equally aroused by lesbian porn and straight porn. No reason think verbal descriptions are any different.

http://www.washtimes.com/national/20021223-12520450.htm

Silly girl, I think maybe
 

That is really fucking stupid! It betrays a real lack of understanding about human sexuality. Just because I am not gay does not mean that I am not turned on by images and/or descriptions of beautiful female bodies. You say you have a beautiful body and a hot sex life, but you describe those facts with such an absence of subtlety that you completely strip the description of all eroticism.

Absence of subtlety is also an understated way of describing the general issue with your posts, which is that you hammer away at the obvious and in doing so, appear to miss the wit that goes on around and in response to you.

That may be deliberate, and regardless of whether it is, I find it entertaining. What you lack in arguing skills and (apparent*) wit you make up for in your ability to push people's buttons, no pun intended.

RP

* Because it may all be a big joke, in which case, haha!

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

Either you're crazy or your memory is flawed.

My point exactly.

TM

In defense of Elvis
 

RP,

I'm still stuck on the nipples. You've got my sarcasm meter all busted up.

I ain't bad, but if I could pop nipples on sight alone, well... I'd be in movies...

S(...or more liekly perpetually hiding behind my desk...)D

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

He was deported long before Ashcroft took over, for a not-so-stupid thing. I think he shot his cousin. He went to jail, was deported when he got out and I think maybe they're trying to deport him again, but I don't know why. PLF? E/O?

TM

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

Didn't we have an entire conversation about this?

Yes, my memory is flawed.

Even(only crazy for you, baby)Odds

Analogies 101
 

LP, you are brilliant. From the fucking Washington Times! Given JFF's leanings, that is so, so well done. I bow.

Are you a man?
 

Be careful if you say that. Several posters claimed that the fact that I am not acutely aware of the status of my nipples at all times was absolute proof that I was a man.

I wish I was a little bit taller....I wish I was a baller
 

Maybe it's the rap snob in me, but I've only heard like 3 good songs (outside of Outkast) come out of The South.

Thurgreed(there's gonna be a lot of slow-singin' and flower-bringin' if my burgular alarm starts ringin')Marshall