Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

do not feed the trolls. Put them on ignore.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

but when you say "you just aren't feeling it" I read that you thought at first you might- thus, you went into it thinking it could turn into romanticality. which means he might have too. which means a very frank convo, which then just leads to weirdness, or rudeness from em. I'd dodge the calls.

P.S. you live in one of my fave suburbs, and I get that the word "suburban" can mean different things, but what does it mean as you use it?

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

You have answered your own questions and are correct.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

You were nasty, brutish, and short?

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Not crazy, but if he has romantic aspirations, perhaps a bit unintentionally cruel.

It really all depends on his expectations. If he really came in open to friend with possibility of more, maybe it's possible to tell him it's only friends. But that seems unlikely.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

You were that guy, weren't you? Why not open up and tell her what someone like you feels under these circumstances? She wouldn't date someone like you, no matter, but your honest perspective would have been more valuable than a c- version of what i told her.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

at Rosemary Hall? I was hardly nasty or brutish or short compared to the norm. I did, however, have an aspect that was larger than normal for my specie.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

I see what you're saying. It sounds like you never actually got too heavy with this guy. I guess as long as you keep your boundaries, it may work out just fine.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Hey, we went to sushi, didn't we? And polo shirts just GO with pleated khakis. I say it's a sharp look.

Seriously, I think you may be overthinking this. As a fellow singleton, might I suggest being honest with him. It's always useful to have some platonic, opposite-sex friends. As you mentioned, suburban guys are handy when you need one more at the poker table.

Since it's been so long since I've seen anyone on this board in person I might have you confused, but I do think we met at ACL or Coachella or somewhere outside, right? If you're who I think you are, you will need to have that talk about him falling into the friend zone because you are hot, and a (suburban) guy who has been on a couple lackluster dates with a hot girl oftentimes thinks he can fix the chemistry problem. Sadly, this is rarely the case.

Jack (it's been like a decade on these boards, right?) Manfred

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Are you going to say that I am whiffing if I point out that Rosemary Hall was the girls school that merged with Choate?

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Just be honest and kind about it and tell him at an opportune moment (like when he calls you to ask you out for a candlelit dinner) that you aren't feeling romantic chemistry with him but enjoy hanging out with him as friends. Leave it up to him whether to pursue a friendship with you and be as gracious and kind as you can be. The longer you wait, the worse it gets and the more likely you are to offend him.

I've never had a few dates with romantic intentions turn into a friendship (only friends with longer relationship exes after some break) but I've been on both ends of your scenario. Respectful honesty is the best way to handle it.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Yes, ACL a hundred years ago. Thanks for using your 999th post on me.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Actually where I live is neither technically nor practically a suburb. I live in all the glory of the city of LA, with all the excellent services and benefits that come along with that. It is called "Venice" but it was reclaimed into LA many years ago. And we have the tiny lots, overcrowding, giant homeless population, lack of funds for improvements and crappy schools to prove it. LA is a weird example for what is and what is not suburban, but he just moved down here from the far north suburbs. Basically from a suburb of Thousand Oaks (which is itself a suburb). The kind of place that has groomed public greenways and ordinances about signage in strip malls blending with the feel of the community, etc.

In other news, I went out on a first date last night that was more promising. Although he didnt kiss me at the end. LA men sort of suck at taking charge and being the guy I think (and so does Patty Stenger, fwiw). But then he friend-requested me on Facebook when I got home. I don't really get the dating and social media thing, but that's way too soon, right?

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Probably a bit soon as it complicates if you decide to see someone else too. But you, like most of us here, have an unusual name so a simple search on FB would immediately flag you. I would be more concerned if he had stalked through 500 Mary Smiths to find you.

Re: Dating (or not) advice?
 

Don't you now find out you've been broken up with when they change their status back to "single"?