LawTalkers - Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

In other news, I went out on a first date last night that was more promising. Although he didnt kiss me at the end. LA men sort of suck at taking charge and being the guy I think (and so does Patty Stenger, fwiw). But then he friend-requested me on Facebook when I got home. I don't really get the dating and social media thing, but that's way too soon, right?

Yes, too soon.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

07-10-2013 11:13 AM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481163)

because there are a few ways in which he is WAY too suburban for me. ?

Drives a miniature van?
Wears dockers?
Is a member of a county club?
Is racist?
Only has missionary style sex?
Loves Chilis (who doesn't)?

Flinty_McFlint

07-10-2013 11:21 AM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481183)

I have a good friend whose relationship went like this, within the span of a year and a half or so: Started dating. Bought a house together. Got engaged. Became Facebook friends. Got married. Had bachelor party.

I asked em they planned to have grandkids first.

Replaced_Texan

07-10-2013 11:24 AM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481154)

I'm back in the singles game after letting Mr Patience go last month. I've never really done much of the casually dating thing and I find myself with some questions. So I'll ask a bunch of married/coupled lawyer types (hey, are there any singletons out there? or better yet über smug divorcees??)...

What do/would you people do if you went out on a couple of dates with someone and you just weren't feeling the romantic thing but you were open to being friends? Would you tell the person that you are feeling friend vibe (assume they've asked you out again but no firm plans) or would you just not go out with them and leave it at that? Why am I so bad at this? Is there any point to trying to convert this barely-dated into a friend? No, right? So why is it hard for me to just blow someone off? Ugh.

A good hunk of my friends came on board our friend group because someone met them through a dating site and decided that a relationship wasn't going to work, but that wasn't a reason to throw a cool person out of our lives. Usually, the friend would invite the new person to a party or other casual mass gathering (brunch, drinks after work, etc.), throw the new person to the wolves, and see if integration worked. We've ended up with some pretty awesome people this way.

J. Fred Muggs

07-10-2013 11:31 AM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by taxwonk (Post 481178)

It sounds like you never actually got too heavy with this guy.

Unless she was going out with him in the 1950s, that is likely true.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

07-10-2013 11:40 AM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by J. Fred Muggs (Post 481190)

Unless she was going out with him in the 1950s, that is likely true.

Well, back in Wonk's days, holding hands meant something, especially outside the club "Cherry Bomb".

Hank Chinaski

07-10-2013 12:46 PM

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

I'm thinking about getting conversational in a language- not so worried about reading/writing- has anyone here tried Rosetta Stone? Any other ideas?

Flinty_McFlint

07-10-2013 01:31 PM

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 481192)

I'm thinking about getting conversational in a language- not so worried about reading/writing- has anyone here tried Rosetta Stone? Any other ideas?

I would start with English first, but then try Duolingo.

Adder

07-10-2013 03:14 PM

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 481192)

I'm thinking about getting conversational in a language- not so worried about reading/writing- has anyone here tried Rosetta Stone? Any other ideas?

D'oh. Flinty beat me to it.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

07-10-2013 03:21 PM

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 481192)

I'm thinking about getting conversational in a language- not so worried about reading/writing- has anyone here tried Rosetta Stone? Any other ideas?

I used it a bit, but found it easier to take a live adult ed class. I know a couple people who are "good" at languages, though, who have used it to pick up a couple different languages with ease.

Replaced_Texan

07-10-2013 03:33 PM

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 481192)

I'm thinking about getting conversational in a language- not so worried about reading/writing- has anyone here tried Rosetta Stone? Any other ideas?

Ta Nehisi Coates has been learning French for the last two years. He summed up his progression in a recent post.

Quote:

I started studying French through the old FSI tapes and workbook. I then moved on to classes at Alliance Française. Next I hired a personal tutor. We would meet at a café in my neighborhood.

Now he's done a house swap. His apartment in NYC for a flat in Paris. He's in classes there now.

His blog has touched on his French lessons the whole time he's been doing this, but I don't think he uses tags to pull those posts out, so you might have to search a little.

I have a bunch of friends who have found much success through a program here called Spanish Over Coffee, where the emphasize speaking as much as possible. Fortunately, here it's not too hard to find people to speak Spanish with students in Houston.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

07-10-2013 03:42 PM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481166)

You guys complain about not having women on the board, but I bring you a possibly interesting discussion point and you've killed it for me. I said in the first post we went out on two dates. It's not some big romance. Oh, yucky sex, right. I'm such a prude. Enjoy your sausage-fest.

I'm happy to give you a serious answer instead of a snarky one, but frankly, I wouldn't rely much on my advice. Dating is something I've never pretended to understand, and generally view asking relationship advice of me as similar to asking your 90-something grandparent for help on the internet: it's nice of you to listen, but probably not a big learning opportunity for you.

If you want him to be a friend, just treat him that way, and invite him on things that don't look like one-on-one "dates". Tell him you're heading to sports bar X to see the game with a couple of people and invite him along.

It doesn't sound like it's gone so far to make friendship uncomfortable, but another date or two and that won't be true. Whether you talk to him about the friend thing or just behave like you're just friends and go with it, I'd avoid anything that looks like a date. If he asks you to something that does, then I'd say, let's not do a date, but I'm happy to hang out as friends.

And of course he's gay.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

07-10-2013 03:55 PM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 481191)

Well, back in Wonk's days, holding hands meant something, especially outside the club "Cherry Bomb".

Sidd Finch

07-10-2013 04:35 PM

Re: Dating (or not) advice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 481166)

Wow. A little sensitive?