If you were romanticizing beyond the point warranted, I started it by bringing up the whole Casablanca allusion. It occurs to me that I probably should have cast myself as Rick, since I'm not the one that up and got married and got a life and all that.

Banning the babies
 

Alternately, she should never, ever leave her house again to go anywhere in response to an invitation until she has taken etiquette lessons. In her house. Until she's fit to leave it again.

Jesus. And you'd rented a room/sitter--that's a huge favor! I had no compunction about telling "why can't I bring my kid" whiners that this solution, which was utterly unnecessary since we originally were just going to not invite kids entirely, was a costly kindness on our part.

He got married, that doesn't necessarily mean he got a life. Remember, greater than 50%, not that I'm wishing him ill or anything.

Banning the babies
 

Poppycock! What are you afraid of?!? See a little nipple? Getting squirted?

From my experience having been married, been an attendee at weddings and having nursed, one of the experiences is far more enjoyable and entertaining than the other two. Guess which one...

Banning the babies
 

Different house. Same general neighborhood, bigger house, nicer street, lots more money. 90 day escrow. Inspection is this Saturday. Hope I'm not jinxing it by calling myself a homeowner aqui. I'll have a FB BBQ in September once we're moved in. Jack Manfred and I can party down to the sounds of Mass Romantic. Speaking of which, Jack, you going to the concert Sunday?

Thanks again to everyone for the cousin-bashing. The kicker is, she's very much "not-a-waitress" (i.e. she brings nothing to the table).

Banning the babies
 

I used to work as a waitress at a Greek banquet hall (just down the street from the one in my big fat Greek wedding) at Greek wedding receptions. Enormously loud affairs filled with shrieking children trying to trip you up at every turn. Apart from the odd brat that you really wanted to kill (and the odd guest who pinched your bum) for the most part they were pretty fun.

Banning the babies
 

I've been to many of them, and I guess I'm so used to them I don't really notice much. Loud, boistrous affairs. My favorite was my aunt's, many moons ago. My youngest sister was five or six at the time, and she got to be the flower girl. The longest sermon in the history of weddings was made bearable by watching her outward displays of boredom instead of the priest. The groom later remarked that she made the torture of the long mass bearable.

Actually, now that I think of it, my grandfather's funeral was like that too. Lots of drinking, lots of kids, lots of loudness. Before the actual burrial, we went to celebrate with margaritas and cabrito on the other side of the border, and we had to bribe our way back to the US in order to make it to the funeral on time. We were late, but they weren't going to start without the family. I know he fully appreciated the send off and wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I think that it depends on the type of wedding though. There are some weddings where it's expected to be a little more family friendly, and there are some where the presence of a child throws the whole balance off.

I'm with you on the elopement thing, though. If the situation ever presents itself, that's what I'll be pushing for.

Banning the babies
 

I hate to think of how underweight (and possibly deficient in other ways) your kids must be as a result of early malnourishment. All because of your weird sexual mommy hangups. Sicko. And selfish, too!

Banning kids
 

Our internet was out all day, so here’s a catchup post. I haven't read all the way ahead, so sorry if there are duplications.

Scar prevention: Not to sound too much like a commercial, but... Last year I had a mole removed and my doctor recommended Mederma. I had never heard of it then, but now it’s advertised on TV a lot. I don’t have any scar at all, even though I had three or four stitches. At any rate, it can’t hurt.

Parasols: I see them all the time. What else would you use an umbrella for?

People clogging sidewalks: Analogy time. People driving trucks that are incapable of going over 47 mph on the freeway. Get the fuck off and take surface streets, asshole! Aaargh!

Kids in the office: Please don’t bring your sick kids to the office. It’s not my problem you can’t find a babysitter.

Babies at weddings: I was a bridesmaid two months after having a baby. I got a babysitter. I wasn’t breastfeeding, but if I were, I would have gotten out the old pump. t’s stupid to think you can’t leave a nursing infant for a thirty minute ceremony, and if the sitter is on site, she can visit during the reception every half hour or so.

On that same topic, I used to have a monthly brunch with a bunch of girlfriends. No guys, no kids. For years, I would leave mine with my husband and if he couldn’t do it for some reason, I didn’t go. My very selfish ex-friend started bringing her baby to brunch. Hello, if I wanted to be around kids, I’d have brought my own. The whole point is to socialize without them. Pissed me off

Banning kids
 

I agree, which is why I wouldn't bring my son to work if he were "really" sick. Unfortunately, my occasional habit of rolling over and saying "I just can't go through with it today" has rubbed off on my boo. I guess I have a truant at age 5 on my hands. Cold, pink-eye, anything like that and either the hubby stays with him or the office has to do without my glorious presence for a day. Being sick sucks and I can't see forcing your child to endure a day at the office if he is miserable already - why make the kid want to fucking kill himself ... or you?

Not for kids
 

Oh amen sister. I had flown up to see my friends last year and we were plannning a girls night out. While on the phone discussing which restaurant we wanted to meet at, the 1 friend (there's always 1 isn't there) kept saying - well, that's not really a kid friendly restaurant. Forcing me to say hey - it's girls night out. Family lunch is Sunday when we see the kids and the husband. Tonight, the rest of us want to go to a non-kid friendly place and drink and laugh and have a good time. Husband is perfectly capable of watching the kids for 1 night. Besides, if you bring a kid - they don't enjoy it - you can't act "natural" the mother is always fussing over whether the kid is having a good time, she's not paying attention to adult conversation etc.

Banning kids
 

Not everyone wants to share, and its rude to assume they do. Its simple manners.

Also, know your audience. Young male co-workers want to see babies like they want to see short films on castration. If you want to ensure your audience coos over your kid no matter how ugly it is, parade it in front of the dumpy older secretaries or the clingly chicks with self-esteem issues who are always bitching about "man problems". They'll share your happiness in spades, mainly because they'll take whatever they can get.

S(I'll smile and be polite but pretend I have somewhere to be and walk by you quickly)D

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

. . . to bid on Ghost in a Jar!

http://bibo.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dl...1457201&bibo=1

Banning kids
 

Don't assume the clingy chicks with self-esteem issues who are always bitching about "man problems" want to see the kids.

Not for kids
 

THESE are the women (str8's cousin included) who give mothers a bad name to the non-mothers among us... It is a specialized form of OCD -- OCDOTAFTK (obsessive compulsive disorder over time away from the kids).

Banning kids
 

When you hear the parent coming by with the child, pick up the phone and prtend your in some heated discussion. Its best to use the cell because most internal phones have led lights on them which indicate whether you are actually on line with someone or just faking.

Banning kids
 

Yeh, that is unfair. They're too emotionally wrecked all the time to handle anything that reminds them of their inability to land Mr. Right.

Banning kids
 

Au contraire. Mr. Right would never make me have a baby. That kind of behavior puts him firmly in Mr. Wrong-land.

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

If I had a spare $32,000,000 laying around, I would so buy this! I bet the black thing stays with the clever guy who dug stuff up in the cemetary...

Banning the babies
 

Jesus Christ... You just tell this cousin "no kids." End of story. I had relatives demand a mass at my wedding. I said "Are you paying? No? Then I must respectfully advise you that your input is neither deisired nor appreciated." That seemed to shut the windbags up. You do whatever you like on your wedding day, and fuck everyone who isn't writing a check for the wedding.
My wife's folks paid for the wedding, so they had total control. My folks politely deferred to them on everything, as they should. My folks paid for the rehearsal dinner according to tradition. My wife's family politely deferred to everything my folks wanted on that issue. So stop asking questions and simply tell your cousin "no." Only those who put their money where their mouth is get a say.

Banning kids
 

If I wasn't married, I'd make a totally crude proposition.

S(a chick who doesn't want kids is a rare treasure - you'll make some cat very happy someday)D

Burning kids
 

I'm already making a couple felines happy -- but it's no substitute for regular sex!

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

Be careful. You could lose your investment if this movement gets traction.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...category=19270

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

Oh, and the high bid is down to only $600,100.00. You can afford it! You think the $99,999,999.00 bid was a fake?

Banning the babies
 

Back in the WASP-homeland (Fairfield County, CT) weddings were always family, too. Not as big as a Mexican or Greek event, and always at a family home (maybe Grandma thought it was tacky to have a reception outside the house?) No one ever thought to dis-invite kids and dogs.

Out of the west coast, family seems less central to the wedding theme, and colleagues/friends more important. There is also a lot more effort to put on a fancy show with caterers and hothouse flowers and a romantic setting, so kids don't fit into the scenario as well.

It isn't a problem for me because I do almost anything to avoid weddings, and staying home with the kids is a great excuse.

Banning kids
 

Because I am a spaz, I have lots of scars and was trying to get rid of them with Mederma. The good thing is that it apparently works well - the bad thing is that it is derived from onions and I don't think they have yet found a way to eliminate the odor. You have to apply it frequently to work well so unfortunately you end up smelling like onions. I found this out when I first tried it and went to work thinking everything was fine and people kept sniffing around me saying "do you smell onions?". So then I just applied it at night and my husband threatened to kick me out of bed.

So now I have abandoned Mederma and am using those Curad scar removal pads. They seem to be working.

Edited to add that I don't know why I had this Mederma-onion problem and L_P did not. Maybe my skin just reacted with it funny.

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

It has dropped like a rock to around $15,000. I'm now feeling bad for the seller, who will be stuck with the Black Thing anyway and will no longer be able to retire to a tropical locale with his ghost friend and millions of dollars. Poor guy.

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

This is hilarious. Personally, I like the legal representation if your ghost in the jar is not getting a good number of bids and is therefore being discriminated against!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...&category=1523

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

I love the firm name: " We here at Casper, Casper, and Weinberger always cheat you right."

Banning babies
 

OK, granted I'm in the throes of the single woman/ticking clock phenomenon and have been known to bore my friends with tales of my nephews' toilet training woes (they really are cute), STILL . . .

A two-month old infant really can't be left with a strange babysitter, especially if they're being breast-fed. They just can't. Newborns don't feed on predictable intervals, and babies under three months really do need regular access to their usual caregiver. After 6 months, OK, but before that, a joint babysitting arrangement with a couple dozen cousins just isn't practical. That said, many churches have a "baby area" for just that reason - my last one had a soundproofed room with a window looking over the congregation, a speaker system, and rocking chairs. The cousin should be invited to enjoy the ceremony from that location rather than waiting for the brat to start wailing before she leaves the vestibule.

Once you're at the reception, who really gives a fuck about an infant? You're going to be (1) drinking, (2) dancing, and (3) whooping it up. You'll never notice the little rugrat, unlike a three-year old who might trip you during the ever-crucial cake-eating scene. THe parents will levae early anyway because they're new parents who haven't slept more than 2 hours a night for 2 months, so it's unlikely to put a major crimp in your style. Relax - it's a wedding, not a freaking Broadway production.

As for babies at the office - for some of us, that's as close to motherhood as we're ever going to get. Don't wreck our fun - just close your door. Once the rugrats start talking, however, all bets are off. Stick them in a time capsule until they turn 30.

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

It closed at over $50K.

Some bastard just paid 50 big ones to be tormented by someone's lingering bad karma. That just rocks!

not7y(go Ducks)S

Banning babies
 

Hey, no offense meant, but you remind me of this woman who works at my firm: senior associate, will probably make partner first try, really well respected, really attractive, great body, but very concerned about finding Superman. If she got a little less intense for a second, she would find a great guy and be happy; she can't.

If something means something to you, do it. Get pregnant, if you can and you want to. Single mother homes are normal now. If you can't get pregnant, adopt a kid. There are plenty. Sure, some might be of a different race or creed than you, or a toddler instead of an infant, but it's a melting pot, remember? If you are so worried about the child being of your own womb, there are a lot of dorks out there. Find one, and have kids with him. Don't want to marry out of neccessity? Then childbearing must not be as important to you as you think it is.

Anyway, I am not trying to be critiical. I am just amazed by this phenomenon of strong, great, yet needy women unable overcome some sort of base reproductive instinct even as they excel at their careers. In my co-worker's case, and in your case, it doesn't seem like you even want kids. You just need to want a kid.

mm(glad that the instincts of the human male still exhibited today are far more stupid and banal than evolutionariliy necessary)m

curious restaurant practice
 

Went out to dinner a couple of nights ago with some friends. Decent place -- not really expensive, but not TGI Friday's cheap. One friend asked to have the remainder of her meal packaged to go (the old doggie bag). Rather than take her plate, they brought out a styrofoam carton for her to place the rest of her meal in. Struck me as odd, as I'd never seen that before. She said that restaurants do this so people don't worry about tainted food. Of course, if they're going to do something nasty to your food, they could just as easily do it in serving it in the first place.

Anyway, do I not get out enough, and has this become standard practice? Or is this simply a restaurant that should quickly drop off my list of places to go?

Banning babies
 

I would have to respectfully disagree but YMMV depending on the child. I went back to work full-time when my rugrat was 8 weeks old*. He went to daycare and I pumped. Every morning I provided bottles of breastmilk to the daycare staff. He is 5 now and it doesn't seem to have damaged him to be away from me at 2 months old (of course, it was a kick-ass and uber expensive daycare so he probably got better care there than my weary ass was capable of). That being said, he has never had a sitter outside of working hours -- we use our discretion and simply don't attend adult-only events.



*It is Friday and I am looking forward to a good weekend so let's hope that this does not invite a daylong tirade from everyone about what a rotten mom I am for going back to work after 8 weeks. I am the family's main breadwinner and didn't have the luxury of taking any more time off. Rest assured that I carry around enough working-mom guilt so your comments can't make me feel any worse but the thread would probably bore everyone else to tears.

Banning babies
 

I'm not sure how excelling at one's career causes one to "overcome" a natural instinct. That's like saying "I'm amazed at Joe - he's such a great race car driver/actor/fisherman/CEO and yet he still can't seem to overcome the urge to have sex".

No one needs to "overcome" anything. If you want kids and life circumstances or your other choices dictate otherwise, then you deal with the fact that you're not having kids, preferably quietly. Nothing needs to be "overcome", unless it is an obsession.

MTV Movie Awards
 

Just my first brief thoughts

1. Demi Moore - Looked hot, but was I the only person who expected the ghost of Sonny Bono to appear so they could sing "I Got You Babe"?

2. Tatu - :wtf??:

3. 50 Cent - Was real good but he is used to wrking with a much more pumped-up crowd.

4. Eminem - Got both the Breakthrough Male and Best Male awards (and what was with the second acceptance speech?). I didn't see the hobbit film but I loved 8 Mile and had hoped it would win best flick. And how did that hobbit flick win Best Team over Jackass? What a travesty.

5. SWS and JT - Pretty good hosts. I thought the superhero thing was a bit hokey. JT is a fucking weirdo, and not necessarily in a good way.

6. Ashton and P. Diddy - Dressed nice (as the Hilton sisters said afterward, that's Puffy). Ashton is one lucky fucking used to be a nobody from nowhere guy who I only love because he is riding this bitch for all she's got (apparently, he is now riding Demi Moore as well).

7. Pink - Sometimes she seems real and then other times it looks like she is forcing the 'tude (but I saw her on Punk'd and if that is any indication she is pretty cool with a hard edge). Is she bi? NTTAWWT

8. Beyonce - Looked great but I bet her feet hurt. Didn't the Hilton sisters say something about her shoes and toes being scrunched up?

9. Osbornes - Sharon looked fab, not only for her age but for the cancer thing. Kelly looks like she lost weight although the dress (cut and color) made her look frumpy. I thought Kelly's weave looked pretty good.

10. Harrison Ford - Did Calista suck his brains and personality out one night when she was binging and purging? And in the after-show Calista announces that he has spinach in his teeth and picks it out -- I would have slapped that bitch to the ground.

More later....

Banning babies
 

Why the fuck should you have to apologize for supporting your family? If you wanted to go back to work the next day just because you enjoyed it and the thought of staying home with the kid made you want to throw yourself off a cliff people shouldn't be giving you crap.

Don't plan to be a mom but the idiot guilt trip people throw on 'em no matter what they do ticks me off.

curious restaurant practice
 

Seems weird and/or lazy to me.

And no, have never seen that before.

not7yS

Banning babies
 

Note that I said "the regular caregiver", not "the one true earth mother". Of course babies can go into daycare at 8 weeks old, and there's no reason not to go back to work whenever you want. (Personally, I think it's a lot healthier than keeping a kid cooped up with no one but an exhausted, postpartum depression-laden mother.) Any good daycare center will make sure that infants get large doses of calm and consistent routine. My point was that a crowded room full of over-stimulated cousins and an unfamiliar babysitter whose main function will be to ensure that they're all still alive at the end of the wedding reception is not a very realistic care option for a two-month old. Sticking the mother in the church's "crying room" is just a lot more practical.

Only 2 Hours Left . . .