MTV Movie Awards
 

Unapologetic prepubescent T&A.

Did they think anyone actually believed they were singing?

That was the only part of the awards I actually saw. It was enough. It reminded me of the Eminem thing from a few years back.

Banning babies
 

"Overcome" in that the person I know (and it sounds like Lexus T. here might be the same) doesn't really want to have kids, given the comment about not interacting with them from age 1 or so to age 30. She just laments that her biological clock is ticking and holding coworkers' babies might be as close as she gets. If you really want to have kids/get married/whatever, do it. You can't have complete control over how it will turn out, but you can still be happier.

For the record, I love kids, but work isn't the place for them. Maybe it's just the kind of firm I work for, but I have seen only the occasional infant (maybe one a year, and only for an hour or so) and I've only seen kids on days like Christmas Eve, and that's rare too.

Banning babies
 

You can't blame even someone who really doesn't want kids from being ambivalent--there is *so* much pressure on women to have them (with the caveat that you can expect your career to be screwed, unlike guys who have 'em) and *such* a strong message that you're an abnormal, evil, unnatural, selfish shrew if you don't. Guys who don't want kids simply don't get the same type of mean-spirited sexist crap over it.

Have never heard a single tick from my own biological clock, but can see why some women flip out.

Banning babies
 

My bad, I jumped. Bad morning. Motherfucking gov't took 49% of my bonus check. Fuckers.

Banning babies
 

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying, that it's too bad that women seem so jerked around by society and their bodies on this issue.

Banning babies
 

That's outrageous!!! Its amazing how close the Clintons came to turning America into a eurosocialist style dump.

Thank Allah and his cousin Jesus that W and his crew of adults are in the White House-at the rate he's going and with his steely resolve, by 2008 the Code should be abolished! PTL!!

Banning babies
 

The example you cite above is why I never fucked a lawyer sober.

Most of the lawyers I deal with are social fucking invalids (this board seems to attract more rebellious, loose type folks, so i do not include anyone here). They're super high strung and have major poles up their asses. Couple this with the biological clock and you have a fucking disaster waiting to happen.

I messed around with a few female lawyers many years back and recall them all being bags of cats. I imagine women probably have the same results with most male lawyers. Sometimes these anal nutcases are great in the sack because its the only place they ever get to release tons of pent up insanity, but even great sex doesn't make up for their neurosis and nitpickiness.

Some twisted wench I hooked up with for a while actually told me she couldn't keep sleeping with me because I didn't fit in with her stiffer colleagues (I was the guy ordering double bourbons at happy hour and cracking off color jokes to her dork contingent friends, which I thought was being friendly, but she found offensive).

S(fuck lawyers figurately, never literally)D

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

Me too!! I was laughing away as I read the thing, and then clicked the pictures and I went from amused to slightly nervous. I wonder if the $50+ K was a legitimate bid.

Banning babies
 

It's really, REALLY fun to crack those jokes though. Especially if you know that the squares find them offensive. I don't care how much people want me to grow up. I'm not going to do it. It's FUN acting like a juvenile. I CAN discuss Flaubert, Ghiberti or St. Francis of Assisi with anyone, but it's much more FUN to talk about porn.

Banning babies
 

Totally agreed. It is bad enough to have to be serious in our work but who the fuck wants to carry that shit over into personal time?* The other problem with lawyers is that many of them come from a long line of sub-human tight-asses. Most of the fun lawyers that I know came into this the way that I did -- first in the family to not be a blue-collar clock-puncher. Maybe it is because, despite all of the whining of working so much for it, we get our paychecks and inside say "fucking "a" I am gonna ride this bitch until the wheels fall off because I make 4+ times what my folks did in their best year." Or maybe we were just never taught how to "act" properly -- and I do mean "act."


*Which is why I left lawfirm life. Working corporate means less of an asshole quotient in my experience. These guys don't gape when I say "fuck."

Banning babies
 

Its even more fun to watch it!! But of course 99.9% of lawyers never fucking watch it as part of their work day. Philistines!

I am not even sure that websurfing www.sexxxxyamatuers.com is billable, but so far the clients have not complained so Tallyho!

Penske

Only 2 Hours Left . . .
 

It's a Black Thing. You wouldn't understand.

Banning babies
 

I don't know if anal-retentive joyless stiffs are drawn to the profession, or if otherwise pleasant human beings are turned into lifeless drones as a result of it. Many people I knew in law schools were amusing, thoughtful, politically concerned and social-good-motivated, but then turned into backstabbing, partnership-grubbing, nasty soulless hours-whores right after the bar exam.

Then again, these are the lawyers I avoid like the plague. Most of the ones I know/hang with are pretty fun.

PJ

Banning babies
 

I am beginning to suffer mightily from the ticking of my clock. It started ticking when I met the OddMan and it gets louder every passing year. Before then, I was completely uninterested in reproducing or parenting anything other than my siamese cat.

I am not yet ready to have kids because our lives are too chaotic, so I spend more time than I should worrying whether I will be able to conceive when things calm down or if that window has already closed.

We have made what is becoming a more common decision among our friends to have the OM become the primary caregiver when the time does come for us to reproduce or adopt. That this is becoming a common choice either represents that most of our male friends are slackers married to high acheiving women, that the tech market is still so bad here that their career paths look uncertain at best, or that the societal pressure on men to care for their children is increasing.

Even(for us, all of the above)Odds

Banning babies
 

Every now and then, when I've decided that no one is ever going to be crazy enough to settle down with me, I think about going it alone and having a kid. Then I come to my senses and realize that I may be over dramaticizing things a bit. I'm pretty sure, though, that I'll be getting a puppy within the next three months.

Banning babies
 

Trahser, your statement does not only apply to folks who are first generation lawyers. I have a handful of lawyers in my family, and most of them are tightass dickheads (showing me their new BMW at family functions, talking shop, etc... like I give a fuck). The one cool one took me aside while I was in law school and told me to run from law for my life. Comically, he's the most successful of the lot of them. Oh, he quit law by the way and is in business.

I agree that fucking with dorks and making them feel uncomfortable. Its a really cheap guilty pleasure (yes, I also like net porn, AC/DC and Budweiser in cans).

Most of the detritus I deal with everyday thinks they've grabbed the brass ring. Fuckin nitwits. I hate having to discuss cases with the turds when i was busy searching google for 80s centerfolds.

S(and these twits, you can't even ask most them over to your place to smoke a j - its like they grew up in closets)D

Banning babies
 

What do you call a slacker who keeps getting ahead despite hating what he does and thinks the whole goddamn industry is a fucking joke?

S(I keep waiting to be found out for the fraud I am... And I'm a massive fucking fraud - If lawyers weren't so unable to pick up on subtle hints, I'd have been fired based on my attitude alone years ago)D

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

In another fabulous move to improve the local economy, Austin joins other cities banning smoking in restaurants, clubs, and bars, and within 15 feet of the entrance to any such establishment.

Those of you intending to visit 6th Street or the Warehouse district would be advised to patch up before heading downtown, since you'll be barred from smoking anywhere except perhaps the middle of the street.

Article here: http://www.statesman.com/metrostate/...06smoking.html

Banning babies
 

Maybe you are joking and I am missing it, but most of the people I went to law school with had all the signs of being those kind of people. Things like heavy neuroses, living in their own worlds about all kinds of stuff, obsessing about stuff, missing the forest for the trees, etc. Many seemed to think way too highly of themselves, think they were better than everyone and generall walk around looking like they were thinking "In ten years at our reunion, everyone will see how great I did and how I am so much better/smarter than everyone else." I never wished ill will on anyone, but I did feel that karma was somewhat right in the world when the gunners first year ended up with bad grades. Not when a few failed various bar exams, though. Nothing good comes of that.

Those people are more likely, I think, to go to big law firms, where that kind of behaviour increases. But I also saw it, and still see it, in a pretty wide cross-section of the legal profession.

Not to run down my co-workers too much, though. I actually think that most of the people I work with manifest their character flaws* in a personal and internal way. I like the people I work with and for (most of the time); but you can see their problems. Comments like "If I'm not married with a kid in three years I don't think my life will have had any meaning. I work all the time and I have nothing to show for it." are sad, but do something about it then!

* And, of course, who am I to talk? Mine are as bad as anyone's.

Banning babies
 

I think what TF was saying was that no one could say anything that would make her feel worse. Everyone is her own worst critic.

What people can say about the subject can be hurtful, but it can't be worse than the guilt/disappointment/wistfulness (YMMV) that comes with not being able to spend the afternoon playing and hanging out with your kid(s). Of course, I would go crazy if I had to do it every day, but there are times when I really wish I could spend the day with the kids -- especially in the summer when there's no school and lots of time for activities and adventures.

Life's a trade-off, what can I say?

Banning babies
 

No, I just couldn't bear to hang out with the people who took themselves that seriously. We all went to same top schools; we all got the same top grades and LSAT scores; get the fuck over yourself buddy!

These are the people who end up having heart attacks at their desks at 45 after a career spent married to the tax code. I would really rather not be one of them.

Banning babies
 

I would call that slacker me, five years ago.

I quit my first big-time law job by basically telling the partners that they could keep their fucking money because they couldn't possibly pay me enough to buy my life.

I wrote a book, went in-house for a few years, quit to run my own business, and now I am looking to get back on the gravy train.

Anon b/c this includes the direct quote from when I quit and is therefore quite infamous and outable.

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

I realize that the ostensible purpose is to have a smoke-free workplace for the bartenders/waitstaff, but would it kill these municipalities to have a test run with a few smokeless bars first? Encourage someone through tax credits or something to declare their bar smoke free. See if the place doesn't fold in six months. I'm sure there'd be some people who'd jump at it.

That said, I have a sneaking suspicion that the lack of smoke impregnated clothing is the reason that so many Houstonians frequent ice houses. There can be no other reason that we choose to stand around in the swealtering heat and humidity and drink beer when we could just as easily do it inside with air conditioning. Drive by the West Alabama Ice House today at maybe 5:30 (temp likely to be 94, humidity in the 90s), and it will be packed. The Stag's Head, a half mile or so away will be empty.

Banning babies
 

I'd call you normal. But maybe I am just like you. ;)

To me, the OddMan is a quintessential slacker since he works only because he enjoys "living inside," not because he feels any pressure to be a high acheiver at anything. He was just as happy fighting fires or cooking in a restaurant as he is working in tech. Actually, he was happier then though certainly he is better paid (for) now.

He's willing at any moment to just chuck it all to ride his bike and raise our (non-existent) kids.

Banning babies
 

You should tell your payroll department to look up "supplemental wage withholding" and get with the program.

Of course, I guess they might have withheld that much even with supp w/h rate, if you live in one of those wacky places with state and/or local income taxes.

Banning babies
 

If "can't pay me enough to buy my life" was the quote I wish to hell I could have been a fly on the wall when their little dicks clenched up into their ass cheeks upon hearing it. Bravo my man (or woman). You are the Johnny Paycheck for lawyers.:thumbsup:

Banning babies
 

I went and bitched. They put it in with my regular payroll -- the CEO was convinced that it would save people money and it does for the people not in my tax bracket (he was a little upset when I told him but I said it was no sweat cuz I will get it back when I file next year and it is only like $1,000 difference). The payroll people tried to tell me that I was wrong but I had them look at last year's bonus and they saw the difference. Fucking maroons. No biggie though. Not enough to have an aneurism over.

Banning babies
 

Ah. Based on your pissy post, it wasn't clear to me that you were at peace with the situation.

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

Despite the ban on smoking, Forbes has named Austin as the "Best City for Singles." DC came in fourth, kept down (I imagine) by the high interns-to-senators ratio.

Banning babies
 

I was at first, now I have calmed a bit. My initial post was when I got the check and felt the gov't fist in my ass. That must be the neurotic lawyer in me that I normally keep under control. What the hell, nothing I can do about so I might as well move on.

Not one of the cool kids.
 

Listen, I am one of the "tightass" lawyers that you are all complaining about, and guess what: You can all fuck youselves. (There, I said "fuck." Does that make me as cool as all of you?) Yes, I am serious about my job, and yes I am a serious person in general. So fucking what? No, I don't think it is appropriate to go out to happy hour and get hammered and talk about porn. We are in a profession, whether you like it or not, and there are certain accepted social mores that go along with the profession. That does not change the moment you step out of the office. Because of the very nature of our jobs, we are lawyers 24-7. Every person we meet is a potential client, or referral source, or someone else who could possibly help our career. If you are some jackass that transforms from diligent researcher to drunken lech at 6:00 on Friday, you are just shooting your career in the foot. If being concerned about my career, and wanting to do a good job for my cleints and my firm makes me a tightass, well then so be it. If you all wanted to work in an environment where everyone is as freewheeling and cool as you all apparently are, you should have become rock stars instead of lawyers.

Banning babies
 

People need to recognize that they cannot have it all. Want to spend the afternoon with your kids? Get a smaller house, older car, off-the-rack clothes, and eat only at Olive Garden. Then you can afford to quit your high-paying job that does not allow you to see your kids.

Plenty of people in non-attorney or non-high hour jobs have plenty of time to spend with their kids. They simply don't spend it in as fancy of surroundings and not all their kids' toys require batteries.

Me? I'll take the hours, thanks. Kids are gross.

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

They say the methodology "ranks America's 40 largest metropolitan areas in six different areas: nightlife, culture, job growth, number of other singles, cost of living alone and coolness."

I imagine nightlife, culture, and coolness must weigh heavily, to counter the other three factors.

Of course, Austin's coolness was significantly enhanced by Tucker Max's decision to relocate there.

Not one of the cool kids.
 

Amen. Testify.


not7y(my choice for POTY)S

Not one of the cool kids.
 

Dude, I'd like to think I have a good sarcasm meter, but you're just spectacular. This is either so subtle its the Johnny Walker Blue of sarcasm or earnest, in which case you are the head partner at my last firm, In which case I say to you: "Bullshit - No one hires a stiff. If you can't loosen up and make people laugh, you won't make a goddamn thing of yourself."

Your cruel reminder that I can neither play guitar or sing is uncalled for.

S("If I leeeavvve here tommooooorrrow..."... ahem.... "If I LEEEAVE Heeeeere tomorrrrowwwww"... cough, cough, eh, fuck it)D

Banning kids
 

No, it smelled like onions, all right. But it was a small dab and it was in a place that was covered by underwear and clothes (i.e., my hip), so no one seemed to notice.

Not one of the cool kids.
 

Goddamn rock stars have THE LIFE. Enough money to piss down the drain. You're REQUIRED to do drugs. If not, you're not respected as a musician (see: Creed). You MUST destroy hotel rooms. You MUST sleep with 4 women at once EVERY NIGHT. You MUST develop a drinking problem. If you die early from being an idiot, you get MARTYRED a la Jim Morrison, who's legend far exceeds his talent.

When am I going to get THAT chance? That ONE chance, to pass out in my vomit. It's all I ask for.

Not one of the cool kids.
 

The "Free Bird" reference is priceless!

Even(and I needed that laugh today)Odds

Not one of the cool kids.
 

Can we agree that there is a gray area between tight ass/diligent researcher and drunken lech? I doubt many of us are truly either. I think potential clients look for people they like--not just people who can do the job.

Edited to say I really can't tell if you are joking on this one.

Banning babies
 

I'd probably like your husband. My sole reason for everything is dough. Nothing more, nothing less. I just like to eat at nice joints and blow cash on vacations. When people talk to me about deriving meaning from their career in law, they may as well talk to me about having a c-section. Just gimme me checks and leave me alone.

But amazingly, I lie like a son of a bitch when courting clients or talking to management, and I do it well. People think I'm really into what I do, which leads me to believe I missed my calling - acting.

I've got the lies so perfectly packaged and my personality so split down the middle that I am actually two separate people. I'llbe typing this one minute, then a partner will walk into my office, at which point I'll flip unconsciously and pretend to be engrossed in some "issue" that I couldn't give a flying fuck about. I monitor my realization like a hawk and act very studious (which is easy - all you have to do is shut your mouth, look determined and daydream) while talking to prosepective or current clients about cases. I do my work in short spurts and then lounge for lours at a time, often making calls to friends about hiring me to work in other fields or sending out resumes to various people and making follow ups.

All of this, every day for years, yet I still get raises and have been even held up a few times as a model employee.

S(life really is a fucking game, but its sooo damn silly... I feel like serial killer - I just want to get caught so I can get out)D