I might be fat but you're ugly and I can always lose weight
 

I wish I was gay. It would have been so much easier to get laid.

I might be fat but you're ugly and I can always lose weight
 

There's still hope for you, Raouuuuul.

Rush
 

Schaedenfreude is in fashion this year.

Here's to hoping he loses his career and life.

I might be fat but you're ugly and I can always lose weight
 

We've been there Alex. I'm too well hung to get around your hemorrhoids.

Get those things checked. They're like miniature caulifllowers.

I might be fat but you're ugly and I can always lose weight
 

Plus, any time you wanted a free show, just go to the locker room of your gym. What a scam that is! I think that someone should come up with an argument as to why there should be co-ed locker rooms.

Rush
 

Is this better?

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/24/in...pe/24ITAL.html

Edit the story just a bit, and it becomes a heartwarming tale of early ambition and unpredictable success.

A teenage girl from a nowhere town pours her heart into prose. A risk-taking publisher turns that prose into a book. It outsells almost everything else in Italy, making its author famous.

That is an accurate enough account of what has happened to Melissa Panarello, but not a full one. It omits a few crucial details, starting with her subject matter: the erotic adventures of a sexually ravenous girl who caroms between younger and older men, homosexuality and sadomasochism.

I might be fat but you're ugly and I can always lose weight
 

Have you been trying to do the Marylin Manson thing and blow yourself again?

I might be fat but you're ugly and I can always lose weight
 

My wife made me get rid of the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed because I stopped looking at her entirely.

Tracking santa
 

Don't forget to track Santa with the kids.

www.noradsanta.com


Santa has been busy already. He started in the Aleutian Islands, then off to New Zeland and Australia, followed by Japan. Presently he is in China and will be moving to Europe next. They have Santa Cam images of Santa where he is now and has been, and also, Santa Video for each location.

Tracking santa
 

We do this. The family kids actually beg to be taken home and put to bed as Santa approaches the East Coast so he won't get pissed that they're awake and skip over their house.

Merry Christmas (and Hanukkah) all!

Santa Poll
 

How many people on this board never believed in Santa? I would imagine non-Christians may not have had the story shoved down their throats, but likely there are other Christians like me who were always in on the joke.

My parents thought the whole "some big fat guy in a red suit brings you gifts if you are good" thing was stupid (as do I). They explained where my friends got the idea of Santa (theoretically the story of St. Nicholas I guess) but that Santa was just a fake thing some parents told their children. To their credit, they also told us not to tell our friends what we knew.

So anyone else who never believed in Santa?

Santa Poll
 

I never believed in Santa either. My parents also thought it was stupid. I guess I can understand why parents do it. Tradition and they think it makes the holiday more fun for the kids. I, however, won't do it. I never believed in Santa and love Christmas and had lots of fun as a kid.

Santa Poll
 

Me. I don't even remember knowing why I didn't believe. My guess is that my older siblings told me -- I don't remember my parents telling me, or catching Dad putting a bike together, or anything like that. Mrs. Not Bob finds this incredibly sad, btw.

I do regret that I was one of those snotty know-it-all brats who went around bursting the bubble for others. I got great pleasure in telling all of my fellow students at Jefferson Elementary that the whole Santa thing was a big fat lie. It is hard to believe it now, but I really was a horrible kid.

Santa Poll
 

I believed in Santa until 4th grade when I caught my parents bringing the presents down from the attic. I was crushed. I never let on to my younger brothers, it was too much fun to watch them on Christmas morning. Plus it was a great weapon to pull out from time to time to keep them in line (You better be good or I'll tell Santa). Looking forward to perpetuating the myth with my nephew.

Here's an alternate poll for those who do believe - what have you done to prepetuate the "some big fat guy in a red suit brings you gifts if you are good" belief?

A few years ago, when her kids were on the edge of not believing, a friend and I went to the local stable and collected "reindeer poop" to leave some physical evidence.

speaking of gifts
 

Depending on which games he got, don't expect to make eye contact or to be able to wrestle the controller away from him for a few weeks. You'll hear "oh damn" and "just one more game" a lot.
Merry Merry.