First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes whatever the fuck you want
 

Board motto --- nominated

A(fuck Heather Smith)G

Worst Passengers
 

I agree. People with children should not go anywhere or do anything if it risks exposing society to their children. Children should be neither seen nor heard. The rest of us have a right to walk down the street without being reminded that there are children in the world.

The same goes with old people, fatties, ugly people, the disabled, and people who talk funny, and people who play loud music in their cars with the windows down.

Worst Passengers
 

You forgot stupid people, those who carry umbrellas on the sidewalk when it is only sprinkling, the fashionably challenged, and really hairy people.

No, seriously - I love kids, but the problem (and the point of the thread) is not kids themselves, but when they are misbehaving and the parent either does nothing to harness the child's behavior or actually encourages it. Crying babies are a fact of life; crying babies in a crowded theater whose parent refuses to take the kid out are a problem. Kids yelling/running/thowing things on a playground are kids; kids yelling/running/thowing things at a dining establishment whose parents are purposefully oblivious are a problem. And you can be sure as hell that the minute my kid does anything truly offensive, it will be removed from the situation or otherwise appropriately dealt with.

-T(likes kids, hates brats)L

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes whatever the fuck you want
 

I second that

:thumbsup:

Afternoon Dumb Poll Ketchup
 

Me: "I think that you have documents that you haven't provided, because they are referenced in documents which you have provided." [Examples of such documents discussed.]

Opposite in Transaction: "We must have a comprehensive list of all of the documents which you do not have!"

Me: "Well, there's the Magna Carta...."

Reality[TV] Bites
 

Apparently, Rob Campos from "For Love or Money" just got fired from his law firm.

Oops.

not7yS

Worst Passengers
 

Jesus GWNC, you're really asking for it now. I think you've just assured yourself a miserable summer flying season. I mean that's like using the L-word when betting on sports.

str(the Raiders are a lock, I tell ya. A stone-cold lock)8.

Love vs. $
 

You know you're fucked when you're fired by your law firm and the firm takes the opportunity to issue a press release saying it did so out of respect for its minority and women clients.

So, ladies, the tough choice between marrying a contract attorney or $1M just got slightly easier.

Love vs. $
 

This must have all been a set-up. A cheesy, smarmy masher or one meeeelyon dollars. Not really a choice, and it helps the women look less like whores.

Love vs. $
 

I think this has to be one of the funniest things I have seen on a reality show. And I adore the fact the reality has moved into the real world.

New Title
 

Hey, Leagl, shouldn't your new title be "Please Touch My Monkey"

New Title
 

See now, I knew you wanted to have a 3some with me. I thought, during your denials that the lady doth protest too much, and I see I am proved right. Oh yes, I know. You want my monkey, and you cannot have it.

You'll simply have to learn you can't have everything you want. Oh no. Not everyone is charmed by your hotness.

You hussy.

New Title
 

Enough!

This stupid poll has been driving me crazy.

Okay, I want to have a 3some with every single person here.

Every single one of you.

I thought I could short-circuit it with Less and Slave, but now I want to do the sex with each person here.

Better?!

New Title
 

Much.

New Title
 

So, should we make arrangements for me to touch your monkey?

New Title
 

Absolutely. You and Slave. Come on over.

New Title
 

A most excellent plan, but can I go before Penske? Even taking them two at a time, it may take months.

Great moments in point spread history
 

With 4.8 seconds left in last night's NBA finals game 4, the Nets led by 3, Spurs ball at midcourt. Manu Ginobli hoists up a 3, clang. Rebound comes to Tim Duncan with about .8 seconds left. Not enough time to tip it back to a 3 point shooter, thinks Mr. Duncan, who then hits the 10 footer at the buzzer! Nets win by one!

Oh, and the spread on last night's game? Nets -1.5 or -2. In other words, Duncan's meaningless bucket turned every Nets better into a loser and every Spurs better into a winner. There's no way Duncan could have had a few shekels on the game, could he? He sure made lots of Spurs fans happy last night. I'd love to know the last time a team made a two pointer at the buzzer to lose by one. How goofy is that?

Reminds me of my previous "great moment in gambling history." A few years ago I was making football picks on a great gambling listserv and had had quite a streak with my "NFL Pick of the Year"s, hitting 5 in a row. For 1996's Pick of the Year, I took the Eagles -6 over the Giants in week 7. I knew that quite a few people had put substantial money down on this game, partly due to my pick. The Eagles had been solid that year, but on this day they were terrible, down 10-3 to the Giants at the half. They wake up in the second half, but all they can manage is three more field goals and are up 12-10 with three minutes to go, and the Giants with the ball. If the Eagles get the ball back, they'll run out the clock. No way for the Eagles to cover. Until some scrub Giant back fumbles the ball, and an Eagles linebacker runs it in! Eagles win by 9. My streak saved! Hallelujah.

Rambling done.
str8.

Threesomes
 

I'll take any two of the Dahm triplets. Y'all can pick, I don't care. I'm not feeling my web-fu tonight, so perhaps someone else can find a picture.

The Perfect Threesome
 

Luckily, David Lynch made a film during which my two choices demonstrated why they should be chosen.

http://www.tedstrong.com/wattspix/naomi17.jpg

Worst Passengers
 

Not for me, though they should've asked first. Why the hell do you think people used to rub opium or whiskey on teething little squawkers' gums? :D

The Perfect Threesome
 

Laura Elena Herring should rent out the space between her TITS!

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes whatever the fuck you want
 

How about a courtesy flush though?

Worst Passengers
 

Especially old people.

Hey, I guess they're right: senior citizens; although slow and dangerous behind the wheel--can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back, don't you go dying on me!

Reasons for marriage
 

When I go to a comedy show I know that I am seeing a comedien and thus expect the jokes. When I speak with someone I can tell by tone or inflection that there is sarcasm or a joke being made. With people that I know fairly well I can often pick out the joking in writing. Obviously, in your eyes, I have committed some heavy fucking internet sin because I cannot tell when a stanger on a chat board is joking. I don't know why I was chosen, but I wish that you would go find somebody else to jerk-off on.:fuckyou:

Rant of the Day
 

I know retro is in, but who let the Cassidines and the Ice Princess out?

The weather is beginning to irk me. I'm tired of the rain. I would like to put away my winter coats, but noooooo, I need to bring one with me to Maine this weekend. Night time temps in the 40's!!

It's June! Where's the sun and warm weather?




Carry on.

Rant of the Day
 

The sun and "warm" weather is here. It's been here for two months and shows no sign of letting up (notwithstanding the minor shower this morning). Please send your rain our way.

Rant of the Day
 

In Texas!

Even(highs in the mid 90s today!)Odds

Rant of the Day
 

I should have known my fellow Texan would have beaten me to the punch.

It did rain this morning, but we have had lovely weather, and it's not nearly as hot as 2000 (also known at the summer of 40+ consecutive days of triple digit temps).

Rant of the Day
 

My priorities have shifted weather wise since I became a homeowner. Every rainstorm we have is probably five to ten dollars less on my water bill. :) The heat doesn't bother me that much, but the lack of rain makes my yard look pathetic.

Rant of the Day
 

The rain here in D.C. is doing great things for my basement moss garden.

Rant of the Day
 

What particularly irks me is what I cannot wear because it is raining every single goddamned day on the weekends--the whimsical tangerine straw bag with the adorable fringe?--no. Sandals?--no (why the hell waste the money on a pedicure then?) The underwire tank tops I had to friggin' order from London to find ones that fit the rack?--no. Linen?--yeah, right. Charming straw or airy cotton chapeaux?--nope.

Sigh. My summer things are forlorn and lonely.

Rant of the Day
 

More talk about your rack please...

Rant of the Day
 

we've been getting thunderstorms in Dallas. big one last night. grass is growing like crazy (only to whither and die in July).

our big summer (since I've lived here) was 1998 -- 59 days over 100, over thirty of them consecutive... this spring has been quite pleasant.

Meta Reality Show
 

For the kayakers:

Salon article about new VH1 show summarizing reality shows

"Do you ever fear that you could fall so far out of the reality-TV loop that you might never catch up, so that instead of watching "American Juniors," "Last Comic Standing" and "Real World: Paris" on a Tuesday night, you might be forced to read a book or, worse yet, have a conversation with a real live human, one with unstyled hair and back fat? Is that how you want to spend the balance of your days on earth, pretending to care about people who don't make grandiose statements or lash out violently or tap-dance or get naked and jump in a hot tub every few minutes?

Well, dry those tears, little cowpoke. VH1's "Reality Wrap-Up" (Fridays at 10 p.m.) is here to save you from the unbearably mundane existence that some people refer to as "reality." (Isn't that ironic? I think it is, but I can't be sure, since I don't read books or speak to other humans.) "Reality Wrap-Up" is to reality TV what "Talk Soup" is to talk shows, only with more jokes and less Craig Kilborn. "

Rant of the Day
 

Fine rub it in.* We haven't had a spring. My summer wardrobe has yet to make an appearance. I spent all that time at the gym, losing weight, getting fit and I can't even show off my nicely toned (and cut) arms. (It is nice to have defined triceps again, but it would be even better if I could show them off by wearing something sleeveless.) By ranting today, I have now jinxed the summer as well. It will either continue to be rainy and gloomy or we will get all that Texas heat (since y'all seem to have our nice spring). Great, just what I need. Especially with the air conditioner broken and the landlords away until July.

Anyone remember how Robert managed to vanquish the Cassadines and the Ice Princess?



*Glad to hear that there is nice weather out there, I'm just jealous it's not here.

Rant of the Day
 

That same summer in D saw the sky darkened by smoke from Mexican grass fires and a severe cricket infestation downtown. Truly biblical. I can remember people saying - with a straight face - "It's not so bad today. Must be only 102, 103."

Rant of the Day
 

Didn't he freeze some schmo in his own end-the-earth-by-icy-blizzard weather machine?

(was just starting to watch GH then so could be wrong on this)

TNN now SpikeTV
 

Coming on Monday, TNN is becoming SpikeTV (guess not much has happened with the lawsuit). Article on the change and new programming here

Spree:
Kelsey Grammer will provide the voice in a primetime animated series called ''Gary the Rat,'' in which a corrupt Wall Street attorney turns into a 6-foot rodent.

Reasons for marriage
 

Repent. Or just say three Hail Multos, light a candle and shove it up your ass.

I apologize. Here's a towel. Wipe yourself off.

TM