So...
 

I just say "Sphincter says what?"

So...
 

For someone who professes an inability to understand how people get into Middle Earth stuff, you know an astonishing amount about it. In fact, I am guessing you just simultaneously translated this post into both Elven and Klingon, the realness or fakeness of either I have absolutely no interest in discussing.

Your posts, however, are turgid, at the least. Don't ever change, babe.

So...
 

Hmm. Suscinct, expressive, accurate - I like it.

more furniture questions
 

A recent WSJ article explained that, having failed to persuade people to replace their interior decor often with relative low prices, furniture makers have now decided to go for significantly higher prices. WS was cited as a primo example.

Apologies if I posted about this when the article came out.

This board is my mental Cialis. Whenever I am here, I feel like I am on some piece of indoor furniture inappropriately placed in an outdoor setting. With some babe.

Drinking poll
 

Eleven years old. Spiked egg nog at a Xmas party. I passed out on a couch before the reading of "The Grinch."

Interesting Suit
 

While Al Gore invented the internet, I don't think many people properly appreciated Clinton's importance in spurring its use for the distribution of computer graphics.

Which, apropos of today's conversation, reminds me of my favorite ethnic joke:

Q. What's Irish and stays outdoors all winter?

A. Patio furniture.

Drinking poll
 

I was six, my parents were having a party, my father started me off by giving me the maraschino cherry from his whiskey sour, I then went around and requested cherries from all the guests whose drinks sported them.

Whiskey is still my favorite -- makes me feel like a kid again!

Drinking poll
 

I was 12 in England (where it is/was legal in your home to fuel your kids with all the booze they can handle- not sure what the law is here). Anyway, I was chugging hard apple cider and I pointed across the table at one point and asked very innocently why there was two of my sister. I even remember this. All the adults at the table thought this was the funniest thing. My aunt proceeded to pour me more cider.

So...
 

Well, hell, I was forced to read all three of the books in grade school. And then, in the cruelest of tortures, I was forced to stare at blacklight posters of all the assorted characters while baked senseless in the room of a particularly strange fraternity brother who unfortunately controlled the pot trade in my house.* I have pondered many an elvin castle in my day and thought "Refried beans are delicious." Even now, when I see picture of any hobbit-like creature, I reflexively ask for bourbon.

* He also played guitar. I still can't hear the solo to Clapton's "The Core" without cringing.

The mosquitos are a bitch. Can we move this settee back into the living room now?

I thought you would never ask. Also, can you explain why our bathtubs are outside? I mean, the view is nice and everything, but still. Also, why the fuck do we have two bathtubs? With the Cialis kicking in, I think one will be plenty.

Shut up and kiss me, Flower.