Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Perfect, if fictional, illustration. Courtesy of Google:

Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel begat Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil by his spouse, Brandine, and perhaps also his "smellhound," Geech.

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

"Oh. Well. That explains it." is not something I would interpret as at all apologetic, though getting rid of the eye-rolling guy did cleanse it of actual snideness.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

I am not amused by people named after places. This applies even if the name "fits" with the last name.

Dakota, Montana, Paris, and the like are just plain silly, IMHO. It generally follows that people will wonder, sometimes out loud, if the individual was conceived in the place bearing his/her name. If the parents want to memorialize the moment they should just let it all out -- meet "Squeaky Bed at Skanky HoJos in Billings" Smith. If the name has nothing to do with the location, why use it? You are named after a city/state/country/amusement park you dork.

dude, how can you go from an orgy in a hottub to a middleaged, short pudgy "consultant" in the midwest? is this what childbrith does to you? Take Coltrane. At least we know he is young and spunky.

p(slim pickings around here)banged

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

No, they meant to name her Violenta. The woman smoked something like three packs a day. During my lifetime her children were all grown up, but she yelled at her grandchildren something awful.

Oprah was supposed to have been name Orpah, but her mom made a mistake on the birth certificate.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Advise huh?

Today is Dear Leagl day. Cool.

Ok, my advice is this:

Stop being so fucking miserable, then you won't have so much to post about.

Anyone else?

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

At the moment you are sounding like Goldie Hawn in "Death Becomes Her."

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

You would think that someone would recognize the "I'm sorry you took offense at that" apology and move on.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

My husband has the same middle name as his father. His mother gave it to him at the last minute when she decided not to give him the same first name as his father. It is a particularly odious name.

My husband insists that if we have a son, we must give it said odious middle name. I assert that one generation does not a family tradition make.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

What kind of smilie would that be? One with an UZI?

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

and obscene finger gestures
and maybe one smilie slapping another and the second smilie's head falling off and being stamped on by the first smilie and then blood spurting all over the place and the first smilie laughing and rolling in the blood and and and

thank God that hockey starts tomorrow --

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

The one who lies on a table screaming for hours pushing the baby out is the one who gets to name it. Period.

I think you win on this one.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Whatever the point, I think we can all rest easier knowing that the world will not be limited to just one Dwight Thomas Roth.

(spree: Dwight Thomas Roth Jr. born in toilet, wheelchair-bound mother surprised)

(fringe disclosure: news article, not "click here to purchase" Dwight Thomas Roth Jr.)

Between this and the hogging article I read yeterday in some Cleveland publication, I am starting to believe that Ohio may be a truly creepy place.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

Oh, come on -- the Rangers will always have a shot with Mike Richter in goa...[whispering in my ear] he retired? Shoot, that's right. Uh, nevermind. Anyway, Dunham will be fine and their number 2 goalie, that kid Blackburn, should fil ... [more whispering] he's hurt? Well. Huh.

At least they have offense, with offensive-minded defenseman Brian Leetch leading the rus....[additional whispers] what the fuck? He's hurt, too? Jesus. Well, Pavel Bure [still more whispers] what? He has no knees? How can a guy have no knees? Oh, right. It's hockey.

So, basically, the Blueshirts are relying upon Eric "Eggshell Skulled Plaintiff" Lindros, Bobby "Freakishly Scary Head" Holik, and Mark "I Played Against Maurice Richard" Messier.

No worries, slave. They'll be dancing with the Cup at Scores again next Spring.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

The one on the table screaming for hours pushing the baby out is in no condition to enforce her will at the critical juncture. At that point, with a cute little chalky kid squirming on your tummy, husband could say, let's name him Butterworth Ogden Osama bin Brazen and Mom will say "oh, what a beautiful name."

Enforce your will before this critical moment in time.