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 Care and Feeding Whole Foods wants lobsters to live large before dying As told to Richard Connelly Published: Thursday, December 1, 2005 Lobster tales Who / What: Whole Foods Markets In a world filled with problems, the folks at Whole Foods Markets have found a cause to fight for: the comfort of lobsters. Soon-to-be-killed lobsters, to be exact. The chain has announced it is re-examining its "animal compassionate standards," whatever the hell that means, in regards to how crowded its lobster tanks are. This sounds like TDCJ making sure the cells on death row are painted in a bouncy, "up" color, but what do we know? "We are viewing the lobster as a live creature rather than a commodity that deserves no concern," company CEO John Mackey said in a prepared statement. Jimmy Schaefer, manager of the seafood department at the chain's Kirby location, says Whole Foods is looking into more humane ways to transport and sell the crustaceans. (The crustaceans that are typically just days or hours away from being boiled alive by hungry humans.) The shrimp, flounder and cows sold at Whole Foods aren't getting any re-examination, it appears. A nice plush rug leading to the abattoir's killing floor is apparently too much to ask. Whole Foods isn't exactly eager to announce this potential change in how it handles condemned lobsters. At first a company PR person said a Houston Press photographer could come to the store and photograph one of the lobster tanks; a second call came shortly after saying permission had been rescinded. What is it they're hiding? We thought we could find out. We contacted two different Houston-area pet psychics, professionals who say they can commune with animals, even from a distance. One, Griffin Kanter, has a Web site called www.talkwiththeanimals.com, so you know she's got to be legitimate. Sadly, neither chose to respond. Apparently lobsters aren't as compelling a subject as bouncy, fluffy puppies who wuv their masters. There's a chance Whole Foods may decide to get out of the lobster-selling business altogether. "They're going to do a lot of research on it, and they're going to make a decision on June 15 if we're going to keep carrying them or not," Schaefer says. Hmmm, research into how comfortable lobsters are as they sit in tanks and in transit. Griffin -- this is your big chance! http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...airballs.1.gif http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...hairballs.html | 
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 BTW, what about cheese creates a delay? It's only veggies, since they have to weigh them. | 
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 The meat section always has well-cut selections, and I always end up getting meat there notwithstanding missing-hand guy, but it's a bit disconcerting. | 
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 And Burger, it's not about the cheese. The lines are just always super premium long, and it just annoys me that I have to wait behind people I look down on. | 
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 ETA: I have mentioned to you all before that my planet rocks, right? Because really it does. I wasn't making that shit up. | 
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 Some woman at WF in BH on Monday night would not just PICK UP her damn kid, who was blocking an aisle. Don't look at me apologetically, bitch, move the kid. OTOH, the lines are not long at this store, at least not when I have been. when I have been to ncs's WF, the lines have been very long. | 
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 You could tell she hadn't worked a day in her life and had devoted her time to hotness maintenance. As I looked at her perfectly toned and slightly tanned calves, and very impressive aging milf ass, all I could think was "Why couldn't I have been born a cute blonde? So easy... Just lay back and let the fat codger pork away every now and again, and spend the rest of your time playing with his money..." No aging heiress wants a cynical Irish pool boy, and I can't teach tennis... | 
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 BTW, while trying to find a u with the appropriate dots on it (yeah, yeah, accents schmaccents), I found this website, with the slogan "Better than you, daily." http://uber.nu/ Enjoy. | 
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