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Shape Shifter 11-30-2005 03:42 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I like shopping for food a lot. But I detest the smug marrieds at Whole Foods with their produce and five different kinds of cheese. My produce and cheese are so much cooler - I shouldn't have to wait in line behind them.
At least they are nice to their lobsters:

Care and Feeding
Whole Foods wants lobsters to live large before dying
As told to Richard Connelly

Published: Thursday, December 1, 2005

Lobster tales

Who / What:
Whole Foods Markets

In a world filled with problems, the folks at Whole Foods Markets have found a cause to fight for: the comfort of lobsters. Soon-to-be-killed lobsters, to be exact. The chain has announced it is re-examining its "animal compassionate standards," whatever the hell that means, in regards to how crowded its lobster tanks are. This sounds like TDCJ making sure the cells on death row are painted in a bouncy, "up" color, but what do we know?

"We are viewing the lobster as a live creature rather than a commodity that deserves no concern," company CEO John Mackey said in a prepared statement.

Jimmy Schaefer, manager of the seafood department at the chain's Kirby location, says Whole Foods is looking into more humane ways to transport and sell the crustaceans. (The crustaceans that are typically just days or hours away from being boiled alive by hungry humans.)

The shrimp, flounder and cows sold at Whole Foods aren't getting any re-examination, it appears. A nice plush rug leading to the abattoir's killing floor is apparently too much to ask.

Whole Foods isn't exactly eager to announce this potential change in how it handles condemned lobsters. At first a company PR person said a Houston Press photographer could come to the store and photograph one of the lobster tanks; a second call came shortly after saying permission had been rescinded.

What is it they're hiding? We thought we could find out. We contacted two different Houston-area pet psychics, professionals who say they can commune with animals, even from a distance. One, Griffin Kanter, has a Web site called www.talkwiththeanimals.com, so you know she's got to be legitimate.

Sadly, neither chose to respond. Apparently lobsters aren't as compelling a subject as bouncy, fluffy puppies who wuv their masters.

There's a chance Whole Foods may decide to get out of the lobster-selling business altogether. "They're going to do a lot of research on it, and they're going to make a decision on June 15 if we're going to keep carrying them or not," Schaefer says.

Hmmm, research into how comfortable lobsters are as they sit in tanks and in transit. Griffin -- this is your big chance!

http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...airballs.1.gif

http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...hairballs.html

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 11-30-2005 03:43 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive

In and out within 10 minutes unless not enough aisles are open.
You may spend more dollars per minute that way than the day you buy a house or a car.

BTW, what about cheese creates a delay? It's only veggies, since they have to weigh them.

Hank Chinaski 11-30-2005 03:43 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive

In and out within 10 minutes ......enough aisles are open.
This could be part of a Shape Shifter Slave post.

Replaced_Texan 11-30-2005 03:44 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I like shopping for food a lot. But I detest the smug marrieds at Whole Foods with their produce and five different kinds of cheese. My produce and cheese are so much cooler - I shouldn't have to wait in line behind them.
What if they're not married, but have produce and five different kinds of cheese?

Hank Chinaski 11-30-2005 03:45 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
At least they are nice to their lobsters:

Care and Feeding
Whole Foods wants lobsters to live large before dying
As told to Richard Connelly

Published: Thursday, December 1, 2005

Lobster tales

Who / What:
Whole Foods Markets

In a world filled with problems, the folks at Whole Foods Markets have found a cause to fight for: the comfort of lobsters. Soon-to-be-killed lobsters, to be exact. The chain has announced it is re-examining its "animal compassionate standards," whatever the hell that means, in regards to how crowded its lobster tanks are. This sounds like TDCJ making sure the cells on death row are painted in a bouncy, "up" color, but what do we know?

"We are viewing the lobster as a live creature rather than a commodity that deserves no concern," company CEO John Mackey said in a prepared statement.

Jimmy Schaefer, manager of the seafood department at the chain's Kirby location, says Whole Foods is looking into more humane ways to transport and sell the crustaceans. (The crustaceans that are typically just days or hours away from being boiled alive by hungry humans.)

The shrimp, flounder and cows sold at Whole Foods aren't getting any re-examination, it appears. A nice plush rug leading to the abattoir's killing floor is apparently too much to ask.

Whole Foods isn't exactly eager to announce this potential change in how it handles condemned lobsters. At first a company PR person said a Houston Press photographer could come to the store and photograph one of the lobster tanks; a second call came shortly after saying permission had been rescinded.

What is it they're hiding? We thought we could find out. We contacted two different Houston-area pet psychics, professionals who say they can commune with animals, even from a distance. One, Griffin Kanter, has a Web site called www.talkwiththeanimals.com, so you know she's got to be legitimate.

Sadly, neither chose to respond. Apparently lobsters aren't as compelling a subject as bouncy, fluffy puppies who wuv their masters.

There's a chance Whole Foods may decide to get out of the lobster-selling business altogether. "They're going to do a lot of research on it, and they're going to make a decision on June 15 if we're going to keep carrying them or not," Schaefer says.

Hmmm, research into how comfortable lobsters are as they sit in tanks and in transit. Griffin -- this is your big chance!

http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...airballs.1.gif

http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...hairballs.html
they should switch to lobster-futti

sebastian_dangerfield 11-30-2005 03:46 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Huh. My Whole Foods runs are generally for 90 different varieties of Amy's frozen foods, beer and Whole Foods pre-made salad bar-type items. But I always end up going there hungry b/c it is a block away so it has become the "we don't feel like actually eating out, so let's just pick something up from Whole Foods and bring it home" option in my not-marrieds household.

In and out within 10 minutes unless not enough aisles are open.
That is my nightly food gathering exercise. I'm addicted to those fruit shakes - "Nature" or "Native" or something like that...

Replaced_Texan 11-30-2005 03:48 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
At least they are nice to their lobsters:

Care and Feeding
Whole Foods wants lobsters to live large before dying
As told to Richard Connelly

Published: Thursday, December 1, 2005

Lobster tales

Who / What:
Whole Foods Markets

In a world filled with problems, the folks at Whole Foods Markets have found a cause to fight for: the comfort of lobsters. Soon-to-be-killed lobsters, to be exact. The chain has announced it is re-examining its "animal compassionate standards," whatever the hell that means, in regards to how crowded its lobster tanks are. This sounds like TDCJ making sure the cells on death row are painted in a bouncy, "up" color, but what do we know?

"We are viewing the lobster as a live creature rather than a commodity that deserves no concern," company CEO John Mackey said in a prepared statement.

Jimmy Schaefer, manager of the seafood department at the chain's Kirby location, says Whole Foods is looking into more humane ways to transport and sell the crustaceans. (The crustaceans that are typically just days or hours away from being boiled alive by hungry humans.)

The shrimp, flounder and cows sold at Whole Foods aren't getting any re-examination, it appears. A nice plush rug leading to the abattoir's killing floor is apparently too much to ask.

Whole Foods isn't exactly eager to announce this potential change in how it handles condemned lobsters. At first a company PR person said a Houston Press photographer could come to the store and photograph one of the lobster tanks; a second call came shortly after saying permission had been rescinded.

What is it they're hiding? We thought we could find out. We contacted two different Houston-area pet psychics, professionals who say they can commune with animals, even from a distance. One, Griffin Kanter, has a Web site called www.talkwiththeanimals.com, so you know she's got to be legitimate.

Sadly, neither chose to respond. Apparently lobsters aren't as compelling a subject as bouncy, fluffy puppies who wuv their masters.

There's a chance Whole Foods may decide to get out of the lobster-selling business altogether. "They're going to do a lot of research on it, and they're going to make a decision on June 15 if we're going to keep carrying them or not," Schaefer says.

Hmmm, research into how comfortable lobsters are as they sit in tanks and in transit. Griffin -- this is your big chance!

http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...airballs.1.gif

http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2...hairballs.html
I may have mentioned this before, but one of the butchers at the Whole Foods on Kirby makes me nervous. He only has one hand. I try very hard not to stare at the stump, but somehow I just can't look away. I can't bring myself to ask what happened, because I'm not sure I really want to know and/or I'm afraid I'll blurt out something like "what did you marinate it in?"

The meat section always has well-cut selections, and I always end up getting meat there notwithstanding missing-hand guy, but it's a bit disconcerting.

greatwhitenorthchick 11-30-2005 03:49 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
What if they're not married, but have produce and five different kinds of cheese?
that's fine. Then you are a subversive single, like me, with fine choices in food.

And Burger, it's not about the cheese. The lines are just always super premium long, and it just annoys me that I have to wait behind people I look down on.

notcasesensitive 11-30-2005 03:49 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Probably depends on the neighborhood. The Whole Foods in chelsea gets a different crowd from the Whole Foods in my neighborhood. It draws an annoying crowd.

eta - there is no beer at my Whole Foods. There used to be a wine store, but they closed it. I think this explains a lot.
There is also a giant 24 hour SavOn right next door to my Whole Foods, which has not only beer, but all liquor. And lots of it - a full aisle (both sides). There is some sort of locking the aisle mechanism in place, but I have never seen it locked (I guess it is supposed to be locked after bar time). This is a nice (and somewhat unexpected) thing about California. Liquor in drugstores. I sort of thought that since they tend to regulate everything else there would be some sort of State Store liquor policy too. Not so.



ETA: I have mentioned to you all before that my planet rocks, right? Because really it does. I wasn't making that shit up.

ltl/fb 11-30-2005 03:52 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
That is my nightly food gathering exercise. I'm addicted to those fruit shakes - "Nature" or "Native" or something like that...
Naked?

Some woman at WF in BH on Monday night would not just PICK UP her damn kid, who was blocking an aisle. Don't look at me apologetically, bitch, move the kid.

OTOH, the lines are not long at this store, at least not when I have been. when I have been to ncs's WF, the lines have been very long.

taxwonk 11-30-2005 03:55 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
they should switch to lobster-futti
I'm pretty sure it would have to be called To-Fobster.

sebastian_dangerfield 11-30-2005 03:56 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I like shopping for food a lot. But I detest the smug marrieds at Whole Foods with their produce and five different kinds of cheese. My produce and cheese are so much cooler - I shouldn't have to wait in line behind them.
Yesterday, I found myself behind this perfectly preserved 5'9 high-fortiesish blonde in some sort of tennis/workout outfit.

You could tell she hadn't worked a day in her life and had devoted her time to hotness maintenance.

As I looked at her perfectly toned and slightly tanned calves, and very impressive aging milf ass, all I could think was "Why couldn't I have been born a cute blonde? So easy... Just lay back and let the fat codger pork away every now and again, and spend the rest of your time playing with his money..."

No aging heiress wants a cynical Irish pool boy, and I can't teach tennis...

Shape Shifter 11-30-2005 03:56 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I may have mentioned this before, but one of the butchers at the Whole Foods on Kirby makes me nervous. He only has one hand. I try very hard not to stare at the stump, but somehow I just can't look away. I can't bring myself to ask what happened, because I'm not sure I really want to know and/or I'm afraid I'll blurt out something like "what did you marinate it in?"

The meat section always has well-cut selections, and I always end up getting meat there notwithstanding missing-hand guy, but it's a bit disconcerting.
I cannot believe you now that Flinty has exposed you and balt as hook-up frauds. And Central Market is closer, anyway.

taxwonk 11-30-2005 03:57 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
that's fine. Then you are a subversive single, like me, with fine choices in food.

And Burger, it's not about the cheese. The lines are just always super premium long, and it just annoys me that I have to wait behind people I look down on.
Do you look down on non-smug marrieds? Please think carefully before you answer, because I rather worship you and would be crushed if I were to find out you held me in disdain.

notcasesensitive 11-30-2005 03:58 PM

The Apprentice LA
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
that's fine. Then you are a subversive single, like me, with fine choices in food.

And Burger, it's not about the cheese. The lines are just always super premium long, and it just annoys me that I have to wait behind people I look down on.
So you are now an Über-smug divorcee? I love this status.

BTW, while trying to find a u with the appropriate dots on it (yeah, yeah, accents schmaccents), I found this website, with the slogan "Better than you, daily." http://uber.nu/ Enjoy.


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