Reality Crap
 

From a review:

Additionally, the following stunts on the TV show are not for you:

• Live goldfish
• Egg nog Hour of Power
• Drink a gallon of plain/chocolate/strawberry milk
• Recycled omelette

Bonus stunts to avoid (i.e., not about vomit, but potentially vomit-inducing):

• Snort and hock the earthworm
• Close-up of pimple squeezing
• Chris Pontius Playgirl photo shoot

Consider yourself warned.

Reality Crap
 

I forgot about the paper cuts -- with a manila envelope, no less. Damn! ouch.

(This movie has had a more profound effect on me than I would have expected.)

Reality Crap
 

I just don't get it.

Reality Crap
 

I'm with the wonk. I have a low tolerance for gross and you guys are making me queasy. Good thing Tex Lex hasn't been around today; if she attempts to play ketchup she might end up on bedrest.

Reality Crap
 

Thank you very much. I can't see how watching or even hearing vomit is even remotely entertaining but I am a chick, so there you go.

AM(not really a)M

Speaking of digits....
 

Grandpa died this year, at 99. I can relate, but I got lucky and recognized what we had slightly before that happened, and my kids got great stories about hiding from the WWII draft in Alaska.

Unfortunately, he was the World's Greatest Racist, but his best friend for the last twenty years of his life was the old black guy that I met at the blues club and brought home with his guitar. They spent twenty years fishing, grandpa kept calling him "nigger", and Leo kept calling grandpa "cracker", and they took turns crying with each other over their life tragedies. Best buds. My kids still wonder how they could do that.

He just kept telling me that, penis size notwithstanding, I should avoid women. I think he was right.

Speaking of digits....
 

That statement is like a "kick me" sign on your back, bilmore. I am laughing so hard I can hardly hit reply.

Speaking of digits....
 

I hear Martin Lawrence has locked up the movie rights, and will play both roles.

recommendations requested
 

My wife recommends Neutrogena Instant Bronze Foam.

Biggest fashion victim of the weekend
 

I don't know how I forgot to mention this in my Coachella summary:

The biggest fashion trainwreck of the weekend, "celebrity" category goes to . . .

Ryan Starr, who looked like she was wearing a bright green one-piece bathing suit with sleeves over a very low hanging blue and red poofy skirt-type thing. That said, she is a handsome woman. I can't believe Carmen went further this year than she did last year. I also can't believe I'm calling Ryan Starr a celebrity.

There were plenty of non-celebrity fashion victims involving wife-beaters and Heineken flags turned into headwear, but that's perhaps to be expected deep in Riverside County, after all.

str8

Coachella
 

I don't have the time for a full Coachella review, but I will later in the week. All you need to know is that The White Stripes Rule. They had the most amazing set of Coachella by far (though Iggy rocked, as str8 said).

For all of the snarky comments about G. Love, I am pleased to report that he had an overflow crowd in his tent, full of enthusiastic fans. Apparently, there is no shortage of whiteboys who feel they're funky when they listen to him. Maybe he's been playing the HORDE tour for a number of years, and growing his audience that way.

Str8, the Tortoise album you should check first is TNT, after that I would recommend Millions Now Living Will Never Die. I didn't like Standards as much as those two.

I didn't have a VIP wristband, so I had to be out with the people. As this is the Fashion Board, I'll just add that apparently, Dumpy is the new black. I have never seen so many dumpy-looking women in Southern California before. Moreover, this was the first time that I had been to any event in Southern California where I didn't see at least one stunning woman. Now, granted, maybe all of the pretty women were VIPs, and maybe they only came for the nighttime shows, but the beautiful people are not the music fans they pretend to be.

Remind me to tell you about Fischerspooner the next time I hit the boards, I have to earn a living this week.

COahella/Calverton
 

Story on the Coachella fest. http://www.nytimes.com/2003/04/29/ar...ic/29COAC.html

Question: where is Calverton, NY? This might be wroth checking out, esp in light of my recent comment regarding the state of music today. Also, is Blur the band that sang "Hey man nice shot?" I have a feelnig, not, but cant quite place it.

And speaking of music, I was at the gym and there was this REALLY annoying droning on and on and on song that would nto end. I listened to what the singer was saying adn he was saying "cry me a river". This is Justin Timberlake? He totally sucks. I think this song may be worse than Cher's Believe, my alltime most hated song I hear at the gym.

Mr. Personality
 

After the discussion last week, I watched for the first time last night. Wow. I am drawn to it, and yet repulsed by it at the same time. As for motivational speaker guy, besides the fact that I think he's a psycho/sociopath, I would have given him the boot for his repeated use of "Quote. Unquote." AAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!! That's worse than air quotes (which I have to admit I use on occasion when I am being ironic). As for the lawyer guy (part of the MN mafia, I believe?) Dude, get a haircut. I found his demasking a little anticlimactic, especially after the dramticc "DUDE!" exclaimation from the commercial. It was good though, that ML told him he was getting the boot anyway. I thought that her face looked weird though... like she was scrunching it up in counfusion for the entire time. The dark room was an invitation for som action ala Sarah on Joe Millionaire. What a disappointment. Hayley is pretty, but I couldn't believe she was shocked about what went on with the women at the house. She's also a moron for leaving the hot tub to go talk to psycho motivational speaker and it was creepy how he was spying on her when she was with the other guy. I cannot get past the asks being disturbing. Especially when they were hanging out on the boat and a couple were lying out like they were trying to get a tan. Weird.

COahella/Calverton
 

Don't ask me how I remember this, but the band who did that song is not Blur, it's Filter.

spooky(font of useless information)fish

COahella/Calverton
 

Calverton is Eastern Long Island, near Riverhead (end of LIE).