A Record for Singles
 

Agreed.

Agreed, of course.

True.

Here is where you trip up. Just because a large percentage of rap is mainstram, commercial crap, doeas not mean that it is not a rebellious or evolving art form. There is a hell of a lot going on on the fringes of rap/hip hop that is creative, innovative, even avant-garde. But you are generally not going to hear it on commercial radio (with some exceptions - e.g., OutKast).

This statement does not support your broad thesis or undermine mine. I also don't know who holds the top 10 positions, and probably do not know their work, unless (as I think is quite possible) OutKast is there - although as is always the case, their top ten single is likely to be one of the weaker tracks on the album. ("Ms. Jackson" was down toward the bottom of Stankonia, in my opinion.) I have also never heard of "Brandy, You're a Fine Girl." I listen to no commercial radio stations and do not watch videos on TV. In many ways, I am pretty out of touch with music these days. But, I have been to lots of hip hop shows in the last year, and I like what's going on.

88 Lines About 49 Penske Socks
 

Manfred is a hipster,
\ tells us what the cool kids do.
Anne Elk’s got no “flow” or stylin’,
\ Destined for the Land of Fu.
Thurgreed is the Black Guy;
\ we’re all afraid of a guy like him.
Mullet Man sounds like a dude but
\ I’ve heard tell he has a quim.

Ollie is a shit-disturber;
\ lieutenant to insurgency.
Fugee is the Jesus-freak,
\ she likes that kind of misery.
Tyrone is a newsblog addict;
\ posts Josh Marshall thrice a day.
Cheffie disappears for ages;
\ yet gets homage on Breasticle Day.

Bilmore is a cranky geezer,
\ hates TV, despises rap.
Leagl thinks men are second best
\ to Idle playthings’ honey-traps.
G3 is a Clintonista,
\ cruising for a PB duel.
Borg-Nine’s point of view was this:
\ assimilation’s FB cool.

Coltrane, it’s said, is bangable;
\ a future Cougar’s got a crush.
TexLex’s got some major issues,
\ hates Van Halen; grooves on Rush.
Arby’s known as Rubenesque;
\ (Stoddard-like, not Peter-Paul).
Flower bloomed two years ago;
\ says “I must go,” but lacks the balls.

Ruysbroeck’s last taboo
\ was shattered by a wandering tongue.
Thrasher says that ain’t vanilla;
\ They’ll be no ass-play in her bung.
Barely got a Waterdancer
\ ’cause Tiny couldn’t tab Slot B.
NCS says she’s got one also,
\ but stays vibrator-insertion-free.

Well, Paigow is a schizo,
\ lives on soy milk and cocaine.
Lester flaks for carriers;
\ munches shrooms to dull the pain.
Shave’s convinced that life’s a party,
\ Cuervo shots and booty calls.
DebtSlave is much too prissy,
\ she doesn’t do that shit at all.

Uh-uh. Not DebtSlave.

Fringey’s choler is therapeutic,
\ TGIF’s her life creed.
Sidd’s in Vegas bribing strippers
\ to fulfill his smutty needs.
Penske’s got a filing system,
\ always keeps his logins straight.
Shifter’s got a way with language,
\ silver tongue (or silverPlate?).

Not Bob is a big shot,
\ the fucking Pope of Podunkville.
Brazen’s got a certain something
\ I’d sure like to Jack her Jill.
Gatti’s got the voice of reason
\ in a town of whackadoos.
Pony is a font of knowledge
\ of shirts and suits and slip-on shoes.

Str8 was quite the FB hottie
\ ’til he slurped tomato bisque.
RT’s got reams of citations,
\ Even Geico won't take the risk.
EvenOdds sucked up to Leagl,
\ proved moderating’s women’s work.
CtD got lost in transit;
\ jumped the shark, became a jerk.
NFP was not for profit;
\ got hooked on Birkins, changed her name.
Gwinky has a mean streak;
\ our northern neighbor’s just the same.
The Shadow’s bridged adroit and skekky,
\ Em's just a fucking nihilist.
Kafka is much more my style,
\ he writes songs just like this.
Taxwonk’s gone for forty days;
\ we start thinking “heart attack.”
Sebby takes a nasty pleasure
\ in making women think “assjack.”
Spooky comes from O-hi-o,
\ he can be a snarky pill.
Deuced, Puppy, Dressed-to-Bill,
\ I chose you to end this swill.

Eighty-eight lines about forty-nine Penske socks. {Spree: Abridged RealAudio accompaniment to assist those who don't know the song.}

A Record for Singles
 

I think they prefer the term "ouevre".

Edited because I'm just that kind of Timmy.

To the tune of "Puppy Love"
 

And they called it Puppy love
Oh I guess they'll never know
How a sock heart really feels
And why I love her so

I call it Robust Puppy love
Just because I can't be seen
Because I post and post (and post) away
Why deny me my only dream?

I lust each night for Busty you
My tears are all in vain
I hope and I pray that maybe some day
Robust'll PM me (not you, Coletrane…)

Someone help me, help me please
To edit, edit up above
So that I can show them all
This is Robust Puppy love

Someone help me, help me please
Will my efforts be enough
How can I, oh how can I show you
This is Robust Puppy love

This is Robust Puppy love
This is Robust Puppy love (Robust puppy love)
This is Robust puppy love
This is Robust puppy love

???? I did not start this. I was minding my own business and you attacked me. I attack back and you then tell me to stop, that you never wanted to fight... Am I wrong to be confused?

I'll leave you alone... just as soon as you explain why you attacked me in the first place. I'm just curious. That's all.

I find you ridiculous. As well as odious and repulsive. I really could give a rat's ass if this is your "schtick" or "persona;" in any event, if it is, you should be well aware you are leaving yourself open to attack. Happy? Good.

And I doubt I know you irl. The only person I know of in PA that I know is not a lawyer (for a few years now) and does not live in central PA. (I did read the subject line of your PM).

88 Lines About 49 Penske Socks
 

There's your real winner so far.

88 Lines About 49 Penske Socks
 

Of course. Kiss everybody's ass and you win the popularity contest. That's how he won the Breasticle Day photo contest, also. Well, that and the red thong.

I don't live in central PA. Central PA is not in the NYC-Phila-DC corridor. If you truly read me, you'd know I'm in Philly.

S(I am ridiculous... utterly ridiculous... so why attack the ridiculous?)D

That's the thing. I haven't been, as a general rule. But now you are a moderator. I have a hard time just not reading posts that I can see. It's a personal failing. I'm working on it.

No dog in fight, realize it's a rhetorical question, stab in the dark: ridicule?

Y'think? Reading this, I hold that I do not attack SD. I ridicule him. It seems that he attacks me rather than ridiculing. But I could be wrong. Even though I am smarter than all of you.

Edited to add that maybe SD and bilmore can form a support group for people wanting substantive posts only. Or a support board. Whichever.

My contribution
 

Post by Post (to the tune of "Day by Day" from Godspell")
(This is just a quick ditty to share with you all my goal on the boards; I hope I'm not being overbearing, just honest and forthright, and a little funny)

Post by Post
Post by Post
Oh dear Leagl
Three things I pray
To say things quite funny
To be a Cyber honey
To make lots of money
Post by Post
Post by Post
Post by Post
Oh dear Leagl
Three things I pray
To help Fugee find God (post by post!)
To show all that Christ Rocks (post by post!)
To convert Sebby Most (post by post!)
Post by Post (post by post!)
Post by Post (post by post!)
Post by Post (post by post!)



Superstar (to the tune of "Superstar" from "Superstar" :) )

Every time I hit reply
I don't understand
Why you post the things you do
They're so out of hand
You'd have managed better
If you'd had it planned
Why did you choose such a backward board
And such a strange band?

If you'd come today
You could have reached lawtalkers nation
That Yahoo board, man, it had no mass communication
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now
Don't you get me wrong

Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know, now
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know, now
Only want to know

PLF
PLF
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
PLF
PLF
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
PLF
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?
PLF
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

Tell me what you think
About your friends Penske and Paigow
Now who do you think besides yourself
Is the pick of the crop?
Plated, was he where it's at?
Is he where you are?
Can DebtSlave move a mountain
Or is that just RT?
Do you mean to retire like this?
Is this a mistake or
Do you think this crazy exit
Will be a record breaker?

Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong

Only want to know Only want to know
Only want to know, now Only want to know
Only want to know Only want to know
Only want to know, now I only want to know

PLF
PLF
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
PLF
PLF
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
PLF
PLF
Do you think you're what they say you are?
PLF
PLF
Do you think you're what they say you are?


I haven't really gotten to know PLF, so the question about who he is is an honest one. I've just been here recently, with a bit of lurking before, and some of the other posters I mention are more icons to me than real, but I thought this would be a nice homage to a fellow who seems to be a very fine sock before his retirement.

My day is made -- I'm going home.
 

It doesn't get any better than this: Thomas Pynchon to do a cameo on the Simpsons.

"If you truly read me, you'd know I'm in Philly" - SD

Ok. Then explain the below, which you just posted about a half hour ago (see previous page):

"It is glaringly obvious after three years of reading the same posts from you over and over and over that there is no point in arguing with you. Anything I say will to your mind just reinforce everything you think about me -- if I am argumentative, I am more of a troll. If I say no, I am quite attractive, you will say I am protesting too much. And so on. There's nothing in it for me." - ltl/fb

I'd love to have you on cross... love it.

You smoke a lot of dope? Your short term memory's really on the fritz. Did my description rattle you that much?

S(Its easy to visualize people from their writing)D

Sebby, are you happy with yourself? Do you think this behavior is Christian? (Ltl/fb, this goes for you, too).

I'd like to PM sometime about what you're each really doing and what this kind of hosility says. The Lord is charitable and forgiving, and you can be saved!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. OK. A more complete answer: On the whole, I ridicule you. When you attempt to psychoanalyze me, I psychoanalyze you back.

That's it from me. You can take any future lack of response on my part to anything you post as an admission. I believe that is what litigation people call such things.

I apologize to the rest of the board for this bullshit and my participation in it.

Edited to say apparently I misread your post, or you changed it or whatever. My more complete answer should be: Back on infirmation, when I could not put you on ignore, I did read you. Since coming over here, I have had you on ignore. However, people on occasion respond to your posts and unfortunately frequently the post to which they are responding is reproduced in the new post. As previously mentioned, I have a hard time reading words that are right in front of my face. Also, on occasion I have clicked on your posts to see what you are saying (e.g., when I reproduced that post of yours for wanker). Nonetheless, having had you on "ignore" ever since we came to this board, I have for the most part not read your posts.

There is great debate about whether this occurred or not, but my view is it did.

After all, such a big deal was made about Mary being a virgin, wouldn't the Bible make an equally big deal if Christ were?


Edited to correct the tense of my final verb to a subjunctive tense, per the advice of Atty. fringe.

Sebby, Your Mailbox is Full
 

I was trying to PM you privately. You may want to clean it out.

Were. If Christ were. It's called the subjunctive. Use it.

Dear Watchtower,

I have not accepted Jesus, or anyone else for that matter, as my personal savior, but I dig you.

Just thought you should know.

With chaste regards,

RT

You trollop. We are familiar with your fucking-the-brother-of-the-current-boyfriend history. You are trying to draw Watchtower into your web so that you can debauch him. Whore.

Sebby, Your Mailbox is Full
 

He just has it set up to respond that way when the Witnesses stop by.

Hey, I don't have to take guff from frustrated fat lil trolls. Its as simple as that. She hasn't proven herself confident enough to ridicule me, and I take umbrage at being ridiculed by someone who I feel is, well... defective. I sense she's the sort of common frustrated person who I wouldn't glance twice at in a bar or be remotely interested by, so I'm rather offended that she feels she can ridicule me here, in this anonymous forum, where she can pretend to be something she's not.

S(Toodles... off to the gym and then a having some drinks)D

You are correct, my apologies. God Bless!

Original response deleted because, well, I'm workin' on that whole self-improvement thing. And even more because I think everyone will mainly agree that his response kind of speaks for itself.

Just stay away from that temptress RT. Don't be fooled by her blatant attempts to attract your attention by pointing out her un-belief. She is soulless and will only lead you into sin.

A quick google search indicates that vbulletin has an option that allows you to ignore mods. I'm surmising that either Leagl has opted not to make the option available, or it's in a different version of the software.

The problem of seeing the quoted versions of the posts from people who are on your ignore list can be accommodated by a kluge wherein each post definition contains a variable that stores whose post is being quoted -- so when the identity of either the replying user or the quoted user is compared against your ignore list and a match is found, the entire post is not displayed. This shouldn't be all that difficult to code, given that it's a slight extension of the presently-available user ignore feature.

Why thank you, my child. I would be happy enough with the first one option. The other one uses words I don't understand, plus, I've gotten along without it so far any my forehead vein has not popped. Plus, some people I ignore sometimes say interesting things.

leagl?

When I first opened the board I left it so mods couldn't be ignored, because it would be difficult for mods to do their jobs if they could be ignored.

After e/o became an Admin we discussed the issue and decided it was best to leave it that way for the same reason.

However, after viewing your conversation with Sebbie I posted a note on the Admin board asking if it was perhaps appropriate for us to reconsider this issue again.

I don't want people who don't want to read what a mod has to say to be forced to read it when it is on a personal level, as opposed to when the mod is doing his or her job.

If it were possible to make it so you couldn't ignore a mod on his or her own board it would be a simple enough solution, but that isn't how the software works.

In addition, not only does it allow you to ignore mods it allows you to ignore admins, and it would be very difficult to maintain control if it were possible for those who are less well behaved to just ignore us.

I searched for a modification for this, but one has not been created.

Rarely are things as simple as some people like to suggest. Certainly if we had a staff of coders it would be one thing. We however do not.

I'm sure s/he was not intentionally trying to suggest that it was more simple than it is. And if the way it is will not work for this forum, that's of course fine. It just sounded like it would be nice.

Sigh
 

I'm bored. I don't read this board to actually learn anything, or watch people argue (ok, well maybe a little). Will the nice lady in the red thong please post something to cheer us all up?

C'mon people, dance for my amusement.

;)

88 Lines About 49 Penske Socks
 

Or lose a vote if you skip an ass...* (ahem!)


It was pretty fucking good, though.




*Yes, I'm well aware I'm an ass...

Oh believe me fringey, you have no idea.

As it happens I asked over at a place where they create hacks (or adjustments) to this software if anyone had any such code.

If they do, I'll be happy to implement it.

a little sumptin sumptin for the guys
 

You're welcome.

http://a799.g.akamai.net/3/799/388/3...ws/2037008.jpg

a little sumptin sumptin for the guys
 

I [heart] you. I have to say, she looks pretty amazing there, and I'm not a fan. But what's not to like?

My faith in the FB duly restored, I retreat to the shadows....

Flinty

a little sumptin sumptin for the guys
 

See.

This is all I want.

A little acknowledgement that I bring a little information and entertainment to the party.
Not to have some reptile criticize my parody entry and then have the whole lame bandwagon chime in. And then just let that crap, I SAID CRAP Puppy Love slide by with not even ONE comment. NOT ONE COMMENT.
Sheesh.

a little sumptin sumptin for the guys
 

You do realize you're just gonna make it worse right?

a little sumptin sumptin for the guys
 

Of all the times to be tired . . .

NFH, I am trying to finish up a plan and get the hell out of here, but you do realize that getting any kind of praise for anything other than sheer whore-y sexual explicitness (e.g., description of eating an eclair) is like [insert something that is generally impossible], don't you?

So, if you stick to sexually explicit stuff, you can get all the approval you want. Just don't try to branch out to humor. Really.

If I were intentionally suggesting anything, it would be merely that the solution appeared straight-forward. I also figured that it has probably been coded, or has at least been addressed by someone.

Really, whatever I suggest is something that I might try to code if I had the time and inclination to do so.*

-pc

*The last time I coded anything for fun and profit was sometime in the mid-90s. So it might take me a while, but I don't think it's impossible.