People! Focus! What was Ty's wife doing with her boobies that prompted the question? Tweaking her nipples? Inquiring minds want to know!

Truth be told, fringey, I was wondering the exact same thing. But as you had already posted the question, I am just sitting back waiting for an answer.

I believe you are thinking of "Jackass, the Movie."

And now Stan will wrestle in the mud with the crocodile in an effort to place a painless tracking tag on him, while I circle above in the helicopter.

I was more addressing that to the morons who seem more concerned about the boring topic of my fatness than the far more interesting topic of odd breast behavior.

Do you think Atticus or Hank are maybe not actually interested in breasts? Is this a dad thing -- like, those are for food, not fun? Huh.

I think she had just gotten out of the shower and wasn't doing much of anything with them, but I wasn't in the room. I think he knew the question had a vaguely illicit connotation to it.

eta: Sorry that it took me almost 40 minutes to respond. Who knew there was this little party going on down here?

Lord, man. Obviously you need to go shopping.

Boobies can multitask.

breasts
 

I know that (though I prefer not to use mine to provide sustenance to a baby) and you know that, but Atticus and Hank seemed uninterested in Ty's wife's boobies. However, maybe they have met her and there is some other reason for their disregard.

Dissent. During breastfeeding, breasts can remain an aesthetic attraction from a distance, but they are not an erogenous zone and diminish in importance in the bedroom until weaning. YMMV, but probably not.

They are very good at what they do, but they only do one thing at a time.

breasts
 

Ty, I swear I have no opinion about your wife's boobies either way. It's not a lack of interest, necessarily, just . . . .

Aw shit. Nevermind.

See, now you're just baiting Lactation Lover.

breasts
 

oh fringe! there are some preliminary steps you'll need to take before you can feed a baby. the good news is, if you take them, your secretary won't mind getting you a dozen doughnuts.

Boobies
 

Lactation Lover might beg to differ.

Boobies
 

Em's absence from this discussion for so long is conclusive proof that em is either a Bilmore sock or a paigow sock.

Boobies
 

a notme sock would explain alot.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Ok so I have a baseball team I am coaching of 9-10 year olds. One kid on the team is a very good player, probably best hitter, and behaves OK at games, though he tends to be "chippy" at practice. Hard slides, hard tags, etc., often directed at kids it shouldn't be directed at.

I have talked to this kid a million times and nothing works. I think now I have to suspend him from the team for a practice and a game -- quietly. I hope this sends him and the team a serious message.

And I don't have to worry what the kid's parents are going to say because he's my kid.

I need your thoughts.

Behavior at LL practice
 

I would suspend him for the practice and one game. You need to sit down with him and remind him of all the warnings he's gotten, and ask why it is that he seems to be targeting certain of his teammates. Even if the discussion proves to be less than fruitful (and it will) at least it will reinforce that his actions are what led to the suspension and also clarify the connection between action and result.

Behavior at LL practice
 

You also need to have a conversation with his parent(s). Whether it's before or after, depends on their personality. But you want to make sure that they hear from you first the reasons why you suspended their sweet little snookems who didn't do ANYthing wrong.

Behavior at LL practice
 

I have no idea what this means, but if he isn't behaving well or in a sportsmanlike manner, then by all means, do what you have to do. I assume he has been warned of the consequences? If he hasn't been warned exactly what will happen, then I would do that first before suspending him and be sure he understands that the suspension is not for whatever the last thing he did was - it's for the pattern of behavior.

OTOH, if he is having a hard time venting stress or frustration or whatever, maybe you can help him learn a new coping mechanism - such as yelling at his secretary, abusing associates, or heavy drinking?

Are you going to be punishing the whole team by keeping him out (you say hes a good player). And what if the suspension doesn't work - are you prepared to cut him from the rest of the season? That could get tricky. Don't they fine the real players when they act out - maybe you could fine him each time - I assume he has an allowance?

-T(my kid is 7mos old - what do I know?)L

Behavior at LL practice
 

Obviously, I need to read more carefully.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Isn't it obvious he learned this behavior from his dad?

Since you can't fire the players, I say fire the manager.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Careful. I've coached both my kids for a few years in b-ball. They catch way more shit and are held to a higher standard than the other kids. It's really not fair, and after awhile I realized I was doing it. In the end, alot of their accomplishments (or playing time) is "because your dad's the coach." which is also not fair to them.
Ultimately, it's about your kid having fun. If he really out of line make him sit out the practice, but jeez be careful.

Behavior at LL practice
 

From a relative of mine who is a sports psychologist to whom I forwarded the question:

• Hum....he might keep track of the number of incidents. When it happens, identifying it to the child. That tends to help children understand the specific behaviors that are to be reduced/eliminated. Following in the cognitive/behavioral mode, he might set a goal for the next practice (reduce incidents of the behavior from baseline to x) . Postively reinforcing reduction in the behavior - goal attainment.
  
  He might also look at the environment and see what/who might be reinforcing (sustaining and/or increasing) the behavior (eg., other boys on the team, other parents, TV athletes).
  
  Just some thoughts...
  

LL misbehavior
 

Some of these replies focus on your relationship with your son as parent, which is perfectly appropriate for your private discussions. In determining what the appropriate discipline is, however, and in conveying it to your son and the team, you need to be a coach, not a parent. Not only would it be unfair to your son's teammates if you treated him differently than them, it would be unfair to him. It would deprive him of the opportunity to have a coach, in addition to a parent, and it would open him up to resentment from his teammates.

Based on your original post, I think you already have this pretty firmly in mind, but I wanted to reiterate it in light of the suggestions you are getting about child psychology and docking allowance and the like, which I think are inappropriate in this context.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Well there's some of that, but there has been some similar behavior when I am not the coach.

Behavior at LL practice
 

You should have Lemmy have a talk with him.

Behavior at LL practice
 

This is a dangerous logical road to follow. The kids sign up for LL for the opportunity to play their sport. They and their parents rely on the coach to set a tone for the team; the idea that your misbehavior is judged on a sliding scale with your ability shouldn't come into play until the pro leagues. A lot of misbehavior comes from the best players on any team precisely because of this rationalization that coaches do as young players develop --- being talented means never having to say you're sorry. Hard slides and tags are probably just showing off, but every kid appreciates that every member of the team needs to take direction, or not play at all. It's an assumption built into the player/coach relationship.

Pony, it's a tough thing you have to do, because what you are about to do you're trying to do with your Coach hat on. But your kid will think you're wearing the Dad hat, even if that's not true. I would suggest that your introduction of this reprimand carry as much of the "Coach" hallmarks as possible --- impose it privately after a practice, while both of you are wearing your cleats. If you have an assistant coach, make sure he's there. Make it look official. If you do it at the dinner table, you're fucked --- he'll think he's really being unjustly punished for something off the field.

BTW, kudos to Pony for coaching the team. Some of the best learning experiences I had as a kid were playing team sports in leagues, and that simply isn't possible without coaches.* My dad coached me in a couple of years of soccer. I don't think we ever had this kind of confrontation (I wasn't talented enough, maybe), but I'm 100% confident that he could have imposed team discipline without regard to familial ties. As Hank correctly observed, that isn't always true --- I was on several teams where dad was really hard on son/star.

*I think some of the gender personality traits we attribute to "Mars vs. Venus" are actually a side effect of generations of women not having an equal opportunity to play team sports. Fortunately, this is changing.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Wow. What happened to making kids run laps when they screw up at practice?

Behavior at LL practice
 

Pony. i respect you. If you bring psychology into coaching your kid, the level goes down. But, this is a sort of good point. Telling him how this complicates your life might be okay.

Behavior at LL practice
 

I remember Coach Z getting totally up in my grill after a particularly egregious E9 where he was all, "Reduce incidents of the behavior from baseline to x, you fucking maggot!"

I learned a lot that day.

Behavior at LL practice
 

wow! And here, I've been giving you way more slack than Sidd on PB for this very reason.

Behavior at LL practice
 

and by the way, the only relevent advice I ever got about coaching was to try and not be the coach that makes a kid quit that sport.

Behavior at LL practice
 

We tried that. And herein lies the problem: when Coach Z says run laps he runs (and runs and runs). When I say run laps the answer is "No."

Behavior at LL practice
 

Definitely bench him. If he's abusing the father/son relationship, then you need to set the boundaries clearly. I don't know if it's even a good idea to bench him privately. I might be inclined to wait for the next bad act and impose the discipline in front of the team, without getting all apeshit about it.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Atticus' mom would make him stay in a closet for weeks. Not because of sports of course. I know one time was due to bed wetting.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Defying the coach is benchable. Bench him and do it publicly, in front of his teammates. There are other kids who want to play that will do what the coach says. You should do this with players who are unrelated to you, also. It worked for Eddie and Sean Sutton.

Behavior at LL practice
 

I also coach 9-10 YO Mustang baseball (Pony League). Native Son pitches, catches, and center field. Most kids think pitchers and catchers receive preferential treatment even if they aren't the coaches' kids so I know where you're coming from.

I agree with the public benching. Kids come to practice to play and be with their friends. Benching takes them away both of those. I've found it to work well.

Behavior at LL practice
 

Nominate for funniest post ever on this board.

Elephant Wood
 

The lovely outdoor setting where I saw the Iguanas, as mentioned on the FB, happened to be the Oregon Zoo. The elephant area is very near the concert lawn. Packy, the largest Asian elephant anywhere, was sporting wood that easily matched the rest of his girth. Leading 3 3/4 year-old Ruth Bader Ramone to ask "what's that hanging from his bottom?"

I very quickly replied "just part of the elephant" and ushered her out back to look at the girl elephants. I am such a wimp.

Elephant Wood
 

Old joke:

Daughter: Mommy, what's that long thing hanging from the elephant?

Mommy: That's his "trunk," pumpkin.

Daughter: I know what a trunk is, mommy. Farther back, near his bottom.

Mommy: Oh, um, that's his tail, pumpkin.

Daughter [impatiently]: I know what a tail is, mommy. Further up, between his legs.

Mommy [embarassed]: Oh, well, um, that's nothing.

Daughter: Daddy, mommy says the thing between the elephant's legs is nothing.

Daddy: Don't listen to her, pumpkin, she's just spoiled.