Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop (Post 409137)

I was going to tell her to go for it, if only to get some reverse psychology going.

This is not a comment on ABBA, but one someone asks for advice on a chat board and the response is this loud and uniform, you've got to know that em is going to make the opposite decision, because the only reason em is asking for advice at all is that em wants to do it but knows that it's a bad idea.

Originally Posted by Cletus Miller (Post 409153)

Do you have a suggestion for a better way to "leave it alone"* than the tack she has taken thus far**? I guess she could get more socratic or say "ask your father", but either of those have most of the same pitfalls as just telling the truth or not.

*which I agree is the correct advice.
**which I think is walking the tightrope b/t telling the truth and not.

Originally Posted by PresentTense Pirate Penske (Post 409165)

[true story] People get really worked up over this issue. I remember some years back I was out at a bar in the Chi, with an old college friend of my first wife and some friends of the friend (a newly married midwestern couple in their early 30s). The first wife wasn't there. At that point, to, quote the Luniz, we had been together "too long". Anyhoo, the 4 of us got into a conceptual discussion of monogamy and cheating yada yada yada. So, much like some of my socks on the PB I staked out the outlier position and said sex is sex, its no big deal and I really don't care if the first wife is nailing someone else as long as its not Hank. The newlyweds, at least the wife, was super offended (and oozing insecurities) by this. We argued about for about 3 hours. By this time everyone was fairly buzzed, i.e. drunk as hell, and it was 2 in the AM, which made it seem like a good time to go to some late night place (the Catacombs in Lincoln Park I think it was called).

When we got there we kept arguing and I said I think I will pick up someone up and you can report it back to the wife if you want. Did I mention I was wearing a kilt? So I propositioned some drunken college girl who was arguing with her friends over whether I was truly "Scottish Style", which out of a sense of honour I did righteously prove and which such forthrighteousness endeared me to the coed and got me an invite back to her bachelorette pad. This whole exchange inflamed the newlywed wife who jumped into the fray and cockblocked me. All in all I didn't care as I wasn't going to go back to her place anyway, but it gave me more ability to stoke her fires on the monogamy/cheating issue. So we end up at the bar, she's drunk and livid about my behaviour and tries to order a drink and the bartender cuts her off. She turns around and starts to walk away from the bar, then whips around runs at the bar, hurdles it and takes out the bartender with a drunken haymaker.

End result, she ends up in jail and I end up not getting laid. All in the name of monogamy and anti-cheating. [/true story]

ymmv

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 409144)

I honestly don't know what to do. We are not together, but he is making my life living hell. Unfortunately, I do still hate-fuck him pretty regularly.

Anyway, I find it interesting that I am being told both that "people change" and that my douchebag ex won't.

Honestly, I don't think he is capable of a relationship. I think his character is fatally flawed and he may even be a sociopath, because no one in their right mind would cheat on me and tell me they were leaving me when I was pregnant at their request for a 21-year-old who lives with her parents and cannot hold a candle to me in any aspect of life whatsoever. And this is not merely my biased opinion.

That said, I cannot simply get him out of my life because he is my daughter's father. So I feel very trapped.

Originally Posted by cheval de frise (Post 409155)

Well put (and 3).

CDF

Originally Posted by cheval de frise (Post 409173)

What, no unicorns?

CDF

Originally Posted by ABBAKiss (Post 409150)

I am terrified of being a single mother. My daughter is great, and I love her, but I have no interest in being a single mother. None. I am so fucking livid that I am. I am doing the best I can, but I do not want to be a mom on my own, and I cannot be with him, so I am fucking trapped.

I did not want kids. He talked me into it. I still do not want kids.

Originally Posted by Fugee (Post 409174)

But you've got a really cute little girl who depends on you and as someone else said, the only way out of that is to give full custody to McDouche which sounds like a bad bad idea.

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 409169)

I think, "I don't know" is a good answer to most questions about the reasons for someone else's behavior. It's usually not a lie, though one can of course speculate.

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 409176)

[true story] I read the entire story ...[/true story]

Originally Posted by PresentTense Pirate Penske (Post 409165)

[true story] People get really worked up over this issue. I remember some years back I was out at a bar in the Chi, with an old college friend of my first wife and some friends of the friend (a newly married midwestern couple in their early 30s). The first wife wasn't there. At that point, to, quote the Luniz, we had been together "too long". Anyhoo, the 4 of us got into a conceptual discussion of monogamy and cheating yada yada yada. So, much like some of my socks on the PB I staked out the outlier position and said sex is sex, its no big deal and I really don't care if the first wife is nailing someone else as long as its not Hank. The newlyweds, at least the wife, was super offended (and oozing insecurities) by this. We argued about for about 3 hours. By this time everyone was fairly buzzed, i.e. drunk as hell, and it was 2 in the AM, which made it seem like a good time to go to some late night place (the Catacombs in Lincoln Park I think it was called).

When we got there we kept arguing and I said I think I will pick up someone up and you can report it back to the wife if you want. Did I mention I was wearing a kilt? So I propositioned some drunken college girl who was arguing with her friends over whether I was truly "Scottish Style", which out of a sense of honour I did righteously prove and which such forthrighteousness endeared me to the coed and got me an invite back to her bachelorette pad. This whole exchange inflamed the newlywed wife who jumped into the fray and cockblocked me. All in all I didn't care as I wasn't going to go back to her place anyway, but it gave me more ability to stoke her fires on the monogamy/cheating issue. So we end up at the bar, she's drunk and livid about my behaviour and tries to order a drink and the bartender cuts her off. She turns around and starts to walk away from the bar, then whips around runs at the bar, hurdles it and takes out the bartender with a drunken haymaker.

End result, she ends up in jail and I end up not getting laid. All in the name of monogamy and anti-cheating. [/true story]

ymmv

Originally Posted by LessinSF (Post 409182)

Elin offered $5MM now, $55M in two years, staggering up to $80MM.

Originally Posted by LessinSF (Post 409182)

Elin offered $5MM now, $55M in two years, staggering up to $80MM.

"Because if he doesn’t pay now, he’ll be paying more later - in lost endorsements. Woods needs Nordegren to stay with him to maintain the fraudulent image that will cause his sponsors to likely honor his deals with them short-term. Woods has morals clauses in most of those contracts, and an ugly divorce on top of everything else we now know could be a death blow to his endorsement career. At least among his brand advertising partners"