Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

This was much less moronic than I was expecting. Still, a few points need revising:

- Rethink joining Twitter. You're not that interesting, and certainly not as often as you think.

- While you're doing your morning push ups, consider going on a run, or a bike ride, or maybe swimming, so people don't notice your nice pecs only in contrast to your squishy mid-section and chicken legs.

- Also, skip the sit-ups. They are pretty much useless.

- If you are a regular at more than one bar, give some thought to whether you are the funny, drunk guy you think everyone else is tired of.

- Often, pretty unaccompanied woman do not want you to talk to them because you come off as kind of self-important and a little creepy; and even if they seem to be interested, they are probably just being polite.

- Don't use fonts as metaphors for women unless you are a typographer.

- Instead of starting the wine collection, maybe put lots of money into a 529 plan. Because you know what gift is possibly even cooler than a ton of wine? College.

- I'm sure your "collaborator" is a great guy and a real man's man, but I have a hard time taking advice from this dude:

http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/...ey-225x300.jpg

Re: Ignored LinkedIn invitations, in ascending order of hurt feelings.
 

The modern HR industry is the greatest irony of all time. Companies are paying the inarguably least talented, most revenue negative people in any corporate structure more and more each year to winnow candidates using Rube Goldberg processes.

What's the result? Have you noticed how much HR has grown as an industry in the last few years? It'd be amusing to see how much companies allegedly save using so many HR professionals after the costs of employing these HR people are factored into the equation.

One could argue it's a wash - the cost of bad hires equaling the cost of HR morons. But then you have to take into account the loss of innovation. How many great hires have been missed as a result of HR? How many assets have been overlooked because they didn't fit into the profiles deemed acceptable by these armies of failed lawyers and socially awkward, officious, doughy middle aged women who fill the cubicles of HR departments?

We're a strange country. In the teeth of a recession that should have bled out all the weak in every corporate structure, our big businesses are bloating with expensive anti-talent.

HR people should be working in floral shops, or home baking cookies. These are not bodies worth carrying.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

I'm pretty sure a liquid form of the body of that Catholic God (or at least what was said to have been it) has been swallowed by many altar boys over the past few decades.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

Excellent:

"Don’t use the word 'closure' or ever expect it in real life. There may still be a mortally wounded Russian mobster roaming the woods of south Jersey, but we’ll never know."

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

Allow me to add:

I read Andy Borowitz. I don't need a RT of everything he says.

Building your shoulders and chest until they stretch your shirt will not undo the fact you're built like Danny Devito.

Wearing a big, blouse-like shirt isn't fooling anyone. Now you're just a fat guy in a buttoned down muumuu.

You can wear pleats. You can also blast Styx from your minivan. Or fill your house with LeRoy Neiman prints.

Talk to her unattractive friend. You'll genuinely enjoy it (she's usually the funnier one). And it's the best "game" you'll ever have.

Don't use any metaphors for women. Or men. No one born after 1965 can be fit into a generalization. They're all special snowflakes.

Hold on to grandmother's engagement ring, and demand one of the kids use it when they're getting hitched. You'll save him/her nice chunk of cash down the road. And deprive some prick running an African slave labor mine of profit.

ETA: Don't write a definitive list on how to be a man. It's alike authoring a bit on how to be an "alpha male." If you're even considering the topic, you're all but assuredly unqualified.

ETA2: Some would say the only advice needed is from St. Francis of Assisi: "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." I think this, offered by a wise man desperately needed and gone too soon, could be added: "The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics." (But I do love champagne. A better drunk is impossible.)

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

This is really good stuff.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

Separated at birth.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

I think the Board needs to come up with what we think Atticus's list would look like.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

What on earth for?

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

I need a ruling here, Sebby is arguably more A-list than me so someone at his grade will have to make the call.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

working in technology, I won't say "impossible" but certainly not currently possible. The only* problem with the champagne drunk is that it too ofter occurs about 1 PM giving you the worst 4 PM hangover ever.

*for me a big enough problem to make champagne off my list.

Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
 

I'll throw the flag on myself here: Whiff.

Specific penalty: Typing first, actually reading second.

Oh, I am what I am.
 

Not sure, but I believe the words/phrases "the Arian Heresy," "Dido" (the queen, not the singer-songwriter), and "inverse condemnation" would be included somewhere.

Re: Oh, I am what I am.
 

What a poser. Arianism is one of the duller heresies. The Pelagian Heresy is where the fun is.

Re: Ignored LinkedIn invitations, in ascending order of hurt feelings.
 

Is it me, or are self-deprecating jokes becoming a tired social lubricant? If you need to so profusely and so often assure me you're comfortable laughing at yourself, I can't help wondering if you aren't really a vigilantly self-correcting egomaniac.