Fly fly away
 

Are you kidding? Do you get bike-tire nozzles in place of nipples and carry a tire pump around? How do you get them to deflate? Squeeze the nipple like a pool-toy air-nozzle? What if they made embarrassing farty noises when you deflated them? Or would you just fill them up with something like grape jelly and allow your current fuck to use you like one of those new-fangled squeezy bottles of jelly and make a sandwhich? Most importantly, why would you need to regularly change the size of your tits by inflating and deflating -- and wouldn't it fuck up your date if you went into the bathroom one way and came out the other?

e/o - world poker tour
 

Until you posted that, I hadn't put the two together. I am a dumbass.

I was in bed alone one night a couple of weeks ago, while the OM was out drinking with his "he-man, women-haters club," and I came across it and was immediately addicted. Once he stumbled in, I made him watch.

I love everything thing about it, from cheesy Vince Van Patten on the sports desk, to the way they pile the money on the table for the last hand.

It's just awesome. We started playing last night because it's addictive.

Fly fly away
 

Avatar advice
 

Typical.

And yez, I know you're joking (or trying to). But this "lie to me" crap that women pull is just so fucking ridiculous that it's not funny (especially coming from a feminist like you).

Don't ask, "Do I look fat in this?" or "Do you like this shirt?" if you don't want to hear the answer. You get compliments when you deserve them, otherwise they are empty and meaningless. And when someone tells you that you look great (clearly I don't mean "you," as in you, but "you" as in anyone) you will know it's true.

_____________

And another thing. Why do people in New York complain so much about homeless people harassing them when the real problem is those fucking jackasses that hand out fliers for some crap store, ask if you like comedy and want to see a show, have some stupid petition to sign, stand on the corner in a spiderman suit with a sign for cheap suits, try to wrangle you into their new bank branch, etc.? These are the people I want to avoid the most. I love when they get pissed when you move your hand to avoid whatever they are trying to put in it. I give them the "kiss my motherfuckin' ass and shove that piece of shit up yours" look as I walk on by. Although I had an ice cream cone today and tried it and I couldn't properly pull off the mean look I wanted.

SD & PJ:
http://www.eriehl.com/wedding/images...aggy_velma.jpg

TM

Jenna/Heidi Playboy shots
 

Heidi was a co-contestant with Jenna on Survivor. As for puffy nipples, run a search for porn stars Davia Ardell and Alicyn Sterling. Mmmmmnnnnnnn.

Mojitos?
 

No shit. My point is that pilsners (especially Heineken) suck. They have no flavor. Try to keep up.

WTF are you talking about? You don't drink beer.

Or another shitty pilsner. What's your point?

Kirin, Tsingtao, Budweiser. Same shit.

TM

Fly fly away
 

As I recall, and remember - I'm no Pamela expert - she had the inflatable ones installed after her first set (many years ago) were disappointingly small (in her words). So rather than try to second guess her as to "appropriate size to body ratio" her surgeon installed the inflatable ones so that she would ultimately be the one to determine when enough was big enough. Then a couple of years ago, she said she had them removed because her sons kept calling them balloons. So she had them removed and looked more like a "normal proportioned woman." That was about 2 weeks and then Tommy was thrown into jail again and she wasn't getting enough of the "right kind" of attention, so she had them reinflated. That's when she started dating Kid Rock. Then, they got bigger - twice from what I can tell. And no, no nozzle and no air. There's some mechanism you can add or remove saline (I picture like a ziplock bag - but that's just my warped sense of humor). But no, in the last round of pictures with Kid Rock and last night, they were disproportional - freakish, hard and very Dolly Parton. With Hobbit feet. If I find pictures, I'll do my best, but have never been successful posting pictures.

Fly fly away
 

Just last week, a woman with those implants got stuck in a 757 bathroom for hours after the plane partially depressurized and her boobs puffed out like deep-sea fish that are surfaced too quickly, completely filling the room and making it impossible to open the door.

e/o - world poker tour
 

We now have it Tivo'd. When we've tried to play so far, we've had total shit hands. I guess that must be pretty typical. I think it was the show with Devil Fish where the guy got 4 twos tho. My best hand so far was a flush. Next poker night we have with our friends, we are busting it out...

Avatar advice
 

Thats so fucking right on. Do you k now those people?

Fly fly away
 

I thought she had her implants removed, making all that hype about it? When did she get them put back in?

More to the point, why? Is she thinking that since she's already on the downhill slope of the t&a age group she'd better just keep getting larger and larger until she's still got a shot at having a job as a circus freak?

Fly fly away
 

That would be completely disconcerting for an SO to never know what size rack is coming at 'em, not to mention it's just plain false advertising. And who the hell would want to pay for two entirely different-sized bra and shirt wardrobes?

Fly fly away
 

Another TV rant:

What could be worse than Pam Anderson talking about her kids and recipes? You serve one purpose - you are a male sex fantasy. Who gives a rat's ass about anything else you think, say, or do?

The only thing more embarassing than Jay pandering to her was Dave grovelling all week to Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. He had on Lucy Liu, Demi Moore, and Drew Barrymore on each of the last three nights. Is he an executive producer of the movie, which is going to suck sooooooo bad that Roeper and Ebert were trashing it on Leno last night before it even opened?!?!? Even Liu said, and I quote, "We sold our soul to sell the movie" as Dave held up six magazines with them on the cover. Dave has become Arsenio Hall and it isn't pretty.

Fly fly away
 

As of this morning, trends are again trendy.

Fly fly away
 

Yes, she said she was having them removed, but that lasted 2 weeks. three weeks tops. Once she started dating Kid Rock, they just kept getting bigger.

This is the best I can do. But she wore a top very similar to this last night. It's about all she can fit into. She'll have to start wearing Dolly Parton hand-me-downs.

pamela on cnn

Comical ali
 

has resurfaced.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/...ali/index.html

e/o - world poker tour
 

A flush is a phenomenal hold 'em hand.

Shit hands are typical. They skip those on television.

I think the best hand I've had was a full house. FYI, don't play this in Vegas unless you really know what you're doing. You will get housed (see Rounders). I'm too scared to enter into an underground local around here, much less Vegas. Actually, Vegas is probably safer...

Boarding House - North Shore
 

For Houstonians:

Holly will be making an appearance at the SoundWaves on Montrose this Sunday.

Re Sunny's behavior:

Agreed. If you don't want people staring at your wife's ass when she's wearing a bikini, don't marry a woman with a nice ass.

Re: horsey face

See above. He was checking out her ass.

Boarding House - North Shore
 

Too bad I don't live near Houston.

Re Sunny, I knew it was all about the little lady's bod but he kept saying that he knew she was a beautiful woman, etc. Calling someone beautiful ought to include their face, but maybe that's just me.:)

Fly fly away
 

ROTFLMAO!!!

*sniff*

Seven

:rolf2::rolf2::rolf2::rolf2::rolf2:

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

Less,

I know what puffy nipples look like - I'm just confused as to why you'd find them attractive. They look like a work in progress - like they're not finished yet.

S(Are you subconsciously outing your pedophilic leanings?)D

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

I can't explain it. I like them. I also like little rock hard, cut glass, brown nipples. The only nipples I don't really like are pancake sized, and the nipple never really gets hard, and the aureola is shaped more like Antartica than the moon.

FB Love?
 

Anyone remember Lawn Chair Larry, the guy who attached several dozen weather balloons to his "extremely comfortable lawn chair" and wound up at 16,000 feet above Long Beach? He brought himself down by shooting down the balloons, but got entangled in power lines. Here's the link.

http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1997-11.html

My favorite part: "We know he broke some part of the Federal Aviation Act, and as soon as we decide which part it is, a charge will be filed."

FB Love?
 

I note he was drinking Miller Lite. That has to mean something.

Fly fly away
 

Leagl,

if you want to bug TM, make this post your avatar.

And on a totally unrelated note, don't you hate when someobody calls you every ten seconds when they have already left you a voicemail like five minutes earlier that you didn't have a chance to return? This is the kind of thing that would push a return phone call from first on my laundry list to last. Such annoying lawyer behavior should not go rewarded.

Holdem
 

To all you nascent hold'em players out there.

Good ways to learn holdem are to play in low-limit games. In California, poker rooms are legal and hold'em is king. 3-6 hold'em is a nice friendly game where $200 can last you a very long time, especially if you play at all tight. When you're starting out, tighter is better. However, tighter also means being bored for long stretches of time waiting for a playable hand, which some people are unable to do.

There comes a time in every hold'em player's career where he or she thinks, "hey, I can make some good money playing these trashy suited cards." The sooner you get over that phase, the better off you'll be. Playing hands like Q-4 suited or 10-6 suited will get you broke in a big hurry. Even hands like 9-8 suited only play well with at least 3 other callers. Otherwise you're not getting good enough odds to justify your call.

To say hold'em is addictive is an understatement. If you have an addictive personality, stay away. And don't even think about signing up for one of those online poker rooms, unless you're sure that you can handle it. That said, it is a hell of a good time.

Str(bet bet bet bet bet)8

So THIS is what's wrong with you grumpy people
 

grumpy bear people
Record rain prolongs SAD symptoms
Many in East suffering from winter blues
— in summer
June 26 — After two months of gloomy, sodden days, Kristina Goodnough was frazzled and frustrated. The all too familiar feelings of irritability, depression and lethargy that usually plague Goodnough throughout the winter didn’t lift, as they normally do, when spring came. “If the weather doesn’t turn around, I’m going to snap,” says the 53-year-old resident of West Hartford, Conn.
GOODNOUGH SUFFERS from “winter blues,” a mild form of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. Both SAD and winter blues are a hibernation-like response to shorter days, experts say.
“A person with SAD is like a bear that’s been wakened out of hibernation,” says Dr. Martin Rosenzweig, a clinical associate in psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. “You’d expect him to be hungry, grumpy and out of sorts — not very functional and you wouldn’t want to mess with him.”
Doctors often advise people who have either form of the disorder to spend more time in the sun and to invest in a light box, a device that provides bright light to supplement the shorter rays of winter.

:umbrella:

How does it feel?

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

I'd rank them by order of preference as follows:

Color:
1. Brown
2. Dark pink
3. Light pink
4. Almost translucnet pink

Diameter:
1. Slightly wider than a silver dollar
2. Silver dollar
3. Smaller than silver dollar
4. Antartica

Areola:
1. Smooth
2. Minor "bumps"
3. Puffy (sorry, we agree to disagree on this)

Situation:
1. Pointing outward at slight upward angle
2. Pointing straight outward
3. Pointing slightly down
4. Pointing down

S(I think that covers all possible characteristics, Less)D

Fly fly away
 

Mom always said "Don't have pop rocks & Coke before you get on an airplane if you're boobs are fake."

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

"Rosebud."

-Charles Foster Kane

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

You completely forgot to discuss hardness. And inversion versus pencil erasers.

Fly fly away
 

Yes. When someone does that I resolve not to answer my phone for any of the multiple calls. If it is a freakin emergency, you better let me know in your voicemail and be done with it.

I recently worked on a deal with an attorney who talked incessently and pulled the call-back shit. He would leave 5 minute voicemails, that I eventually stopped listening to. When I would return his calls (when I was good and ready), I would say "I saw you called, what's up?" Thus allowing me to skip the voicemails all together. I would then have to cut off his ramblings continually during the phone call in order to ever have a hope of getting off the phone.

Fly fly away
 

I like to respond to calls with an e-mail - something like "You called, what the fuck can I do for you?" People who know me have now come to learn that response time is faster if I neither have to see you nor hear your voice.

edited to say that someone in my office just inter-officed me and let the thing ring forever while I was meeting with someone. I finally picked up the line and said "did your mother ever teach you what rude is?" He was all shocked and claimed that his phone said "Holding for ThrashersFan" and he did not realize that it kept on ringing in my office. What a dumb fuck -- he has been here for like 5 fucking years now and he doesn't know how the phones work. :mad:

Holdem
 

I know what you are saying. Thanks for the insights. My SO and I noticed that occasionally something randomly good can happen with shit cards (for example, I would have had a straight by holding a 2 and a 4 one time), but just like blackjack, you gotta stay with the odds. Know any good books on the subject? Positively 5th Street is on my reading list, but I'd also like some game theory/odds instructions.

Why Insurance Law Can Be Interesting
 

A recent Judge Posner opinion begins:

"John Veysey appeals from his conviction, after a jury trial, and sentence of 110 years in prison for mail and wire fraud, arson, and the related offense of felony by fire. The facts are amazing, but we shall resist the temptation to recount them at length. In 1991 Veysey set fire to his house and inflated the claim that he then filed with his insurer. The insurer paid, and the house was rebuilt. The following year Veysey married a woman named Kemp, increased the insurance on the house, removed the valuable contents of the house, along with himself and his wife, and then cut the natural-gas line inside the house, causing the house to fill up with gas and explode spectacularly, utterly destroying it. He grossly exaggerated the value of the property allegedly lost in the explosion--some did not exist and some he had removed before the explosion. The insurance company (a different one) paid, and he used part of the proceeds to buy another house. The next year he tried to kill his wife by driving his van with her in it into a river. When that failed he killed her by poisoning her, and collected $200,000 in the proceeds of insurance policies on her life. He placed personal ads in newspapers, seeking to meet women. He became engaged to one of the women he met through his ads, named Donner, but broke his engagement after failing to procure a $1 million policy on her life. He then took up with a Ms. Beetle. This was in 1996 and the same year he burned down his house, again submitting an inflated estimate of the loss and receiving substantial proceeds from the insurance company (a different one, again). He then married Beetle, and they moved into a rented house. She insured her life for $500,000 with him as beneficiary. One night in 1998, after drugging her, he set fire to the house, hoping to kill both her and their infant son, on whom he had also taken out a life insurance policy and who was in the house with her. They were rescued, and soon afterwards Veysey and Beetle divorced. The house was rebuilt and Veysey persuaded a woman named Hilkin to move in with him after she had accumulated some $700,000 in life insurance and named him as the primary beneficiary. He apparently intended to murder her, but he was arrested before his plans matured. There is more, but these are the highlights."

http://www.ca7.uscourts.gov/op3.fwx?...no=01-4208.PDF

Fly fly away
 

So, um, if people want something from you, or need you to do something, they have to use what, telepathy?

aV

Puffy Nipples, Porn Stars, Etc...
 

Dude, hardness is generally the same across the board.

As to inversion, I've never seen it and therefore am unable to discuss it.

Random question
 

What do you think it means if you dream that you are resisting the amorous advances of one Mr. Brian Dennehy?

I think it means no more mixing beer and Benadryl, but I am open to other interpretations.

Random question
 

A+B=C

(A) Dennehy played Bob Knight.
+
(B) Bob Knight said (to Connie Chung?) that women who are getting raped should just lay back and enjoy it.
=
(C) You obviously lust after Connie Chung.

Fly fly away
 

Just a guess, but I think she wants email.