Re: school tours
 

Harder for whom?

Re: school tours
 

That's the hardest part it it for me. If he accepted at the school we like best, which is 5 miles from our house, he'll be a day student there. Problem solved!

He wants to go away much more than I want to let him go. The tour guides at these places all talked about how much they loved the boarding aspect of the experience.

Re: school tours
 

I believe you meant: "That's the hardest part of it for me. If he is accepted at the school we like best,"

I could go on with the corrigenda but this is enough to make the point. Perhaps your son, if properly schooled, would be able to articulate his thoughts without making these repeated, obvious errors?

Re: school tours
 

Typing on my phone, man. And I still include punctuation. *



*This should be said á la Eddie Murphy (alias Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn) in the jail cell scene, viz., "Those cops (plural) threw tear gas and I still walked in here like a man."

Re: school tours
 

This, this, this. My kids are in public school for reasons other than what y'all may think. Later, they may be in private schools, again for reasons other than what y'all may think. It's very easy for me to judge another for doing a thing for the reasons I have ascribed to it. I think it's funny how we sometimes beat each other up for being versions of the bogeymen in our own heads.

Re: school tours
 

Much like your original post should have been said in the voice of Louis Winthorpe III, a noted Exeter alumnus.

In a city of $5k bottles of wine bought to celebrate big deals, $100K donations to get a child into nursery school, and $90M apartments on CPW, tuition at Exeter really doesn't seem eye-popping.

Re: school tours
 

yeah, but you have to agree this dtb sock seems like em has little or no formal education, yes?

Re: I like cream in my coffee. And flour tortillas.
 

At Dunkin', I just say "Coffee with milk" and then I hold up my fingers this far apart to indicate how much milk. Works every time.

eta: You have all turned into a Jay Macinerney novel while I was away last week. A newish one. Not one of the old ones. Still, I likey.

Re: school tours
 

If you've only got one child, or even two decently spaced apart, a family with two solid professional incomes can cover Exeter.

I know people paying two college tuitions at the same time. That's got to hurt.

Re: school tours
 

Back in the day, we'd have a "Boogeyman_in_our_own_heads" sock by now. What's become of us? This post needs an homage sock.

Re: school tours
 

Technically, I beat up on Hank for being the bogeyman in his own head. That said, he and I did, and still do, agree on this one.

Re: school tours
 

I have an honest question, and it's not meant to be snarky - I don't know the answer to the question and would like to know what you think is the answer. First, I assume you would send your kids to Exeter or a similar boarding school for the "right" reasons (whatever those may be).

My question is: what percentage of parents who send their kids there or who want to send their kids there do so primarily for status? I have a feeling most parents would not be honest when answering this question, i.e., you could ask the biggest strivers you know why they send their kids there, and they would likely say the superior education, access to world class universities, etc. -- they would likely not say that it's primarily because they want to tell their peers that's where their kid goes (because it seems so petty and...bourgeois to actively seek status). Many would likely not even admit it to themselves in their own brain (even though it is surely true for a decent percentage).

Apropos of this subject, I have a friend who is doing very well - fancy cars, several homes, exclusive country clubs, etc. And he never sugar coats his reasoning for all of the "stuff" he has. He is motivated almost entirely by status and the accumulation of objects that make him look wealthy, and he will tell you that. Do I agree with his attitude? No. Is it kind of sad? Sure. But I respect it. He's honest with himself and others. Most of his peers are not.

Re: school tours
 

Yes, of course. It's all about insecurity. Rich people love this one. If you didn't grow up rich, any criticism aimed at those who are rich (and how the constantly isolate themselves from those who aren't) is about the chip on one's own shoulder. What a crock of shit.

I will say this, I never said there was no value in attending boarding school. Surely it's an excellent education and the friends made there are an invaluable network that can be tapped for the rest of one's life.

The only reason why I was giving you shit about it is because you sounded like the douchebags I've come across (and there have been more than I would like) because my cousin went to one of these schools and I've met lots of his friends and their families. He's not a bad person for going and didn't turn out bad. My uncle isn't a bad person for sending him (lives overseas and moved a lot), although I suspect a decent part of the reason he sent him is so that he didn't have to deal while he was out focusing on his career. And it won't make you a bad person either. Obviously I know you and know that you're not a bad person. I was disgusted because you sounded like the douchebags I've run into. Constantly talking about how expensive* it is and all the things offered makes the people who send their kids to these schools sound like douchebags to me. And I've found that they love to go on and on about it.

But the main problem I have with all private schools (except for religious ones--if you want to teach your kid Creationism is science, then please set up a private school to do so) is that it is another way for rich people to separate themselves from everyone. And they use the quality of the public schools, which they have historically destroyed by pulling their kids out, as an excuse. It's just another form of white flight. And, yes, if you point to any one person it's clear that it isn't their fault and they're in a situation where their kid will suffer, etc. But I think it's wrong in general.** And I feel the same way about vouchers and charter schools and the kids in terrible neighborhoods who end up in charter schools through a voucher program have better arguments for leaving than those being sent to Exeter. You take all the good kids out of a school, you destroy that school.

TM

*And I don't know how mentioning $40k/yr kindergartens helps your argument--seems the parents I ran into on the UES who constantly talked about the cost of sending their children to an expensive kindergarten and all the wonderful facilities they provide are just as fucking douchey.

**My ex-wife used to teach at an UES private school (after teaching in a public school in a terrible neighborhood, so she's seen it all). We could have sent our daughter there for essentially nothing, but she (even more than I) and I agreed that the parents were so fucking insufferable and their children so privileged and shitty that the educational advantanges weren't worth it. And she quit after two years because she couldn't stand it.

Re: school tours
 

Now this is interesting. Do you pronounce "bogeymen" the way it's spelled or do you pronounce it, "boogeymen?" I spell it and say it with the double O. Is this a regional thing?

TM

Re: school tours
 

If someone's sending their child there for "status", it's not to demonstrate wealth but rather that they have a child smart enough to get into Exeter. It's not as if Exeter creates exclusivity by having tuition higher than a bunch of lower quality private schools. Unless you mean helping the child with his/her status.

Anyway, I think the large majority of people send their children to private boarding schools because (a) they can afford it and (b) it's better (even if only marginally) than sending them to school while living it home (either because it's better by some increment than local public schools or private day schools; or because the home situation isn't conducive to the child growing). It's just not a good vehicle to demonstrating status as compared with more material things, or even other experiential things ("I'm wintering on my yacht in the Abacos").