colic
 

Helpful suggestions, anyone?

colic
 

What formula is he/she on? My collicky one got better on the hypoallergenic formula Nutramagen. Eventually it went away after her 3 or 4th month. Driving them around helps sometimes. Oh, I feel for you.

colic
 

I took a baby massage class which really helped with techniques for comforting, easing discomfort. It was given at the hospital where I delivered. I think that it was a ten hour class - one two hour class per week for five weeks.

I know other people who've had success with switching formula or using a vibrating bouncy seat or bassinet. Moving the baby's legs in a bicycle motion seems to work if some of the discomfort is attributable to gas. Other than the massage techniques, the only thing that worked for me was holding and walking around. Poor LittleRitz seemed so uncomfortable whenever he was not moving. I used my Baby Bjorn alot.

Proud Parenting Moment
 

This morning when I was dropping off my son at preschool, I noticed there was a new "artwork" display in the hallway outside his classroom. They did paintings "like Jackson Pollock" and used eggbeaters, and other oddities to make paintings. I asked my son which one was his, but he couldn't pick it out (there were no names on the front.)

I pointed to one and commented on how much I liked it, and wouldn't you know, it was his!! (When he said it was his, I couldn't believe I had gotten so lucky, so I unpinned the corner to look for the name, and indeed, it WAS his!)

He was so happy -- and needless to say, so was I! :)

Proud Parenting Moment (and Question)
 

That's adorable! I can't wait for those moments! (Even if it turns out Vietbabe is a sucky artist).

Everything is running oh so smoothly here in Viethome. 8 1/2 months is the BEST AGE!!! Haven't had a question in a while, but here's one that's bugging me:

Despite all indications she's teething, not a tooth in that mouth. Vietbabe used to love her solids but now...she doesn't want them. She wants "real" food she can hold and eat. I know it's dangerous but I caved and she's eating toast now (mushes it in her mouth until it's soft enough to swallow). She's a toast addict. She can also hold a banana and eat that pretty well as it's mushy, and same for Kiwi. But I don't know what else to give her. I have gotten away with giving her solids by using a piece of toast as a "spoon" but she caught on to the ruse. The babe has no teeth but is eyeing my steak longingly. Since she wants to feed herself, I tried giving her the spoon and guided her to the solids, but we both ended up a big sweet potatoe mess.


Any advice?

Solids without teeth
 

don't be put off by her lack of teeth- if she is showing an interest in finger foods, go with it. There's lots of stuff she can pulverize without teeth- cheerios, cheese, fruit (canteloupe and bananas were always the big favorite here), cooked veggies, meat and other things cut up in very small pieces. If you think about it, she can only really choke on foods that are the right size and shape (carrots, whole grapes, meat that isn't cut up in small pieces, etc). Otherwise, she may try to swallow something prematurely, gag a little, and gum it up better next time. A good attitute about food makes such a difference over the years, and I think letting her explore the things that are safe when she is interested only helps build that attitute.

The Best Age
 

OK, those of you with older kids, tell us: What is the best age? I've really been grooving on 2 1/2, notwithstanding the occasional control issues. Is the best yet to come?

Solids without teeth
 

Good food suggestions. I would add scrambled eggs (cooked pretty hard and crumbled into bite size pieces). Also, bagels are easy to hold and gnaw on with or without teeth.

Solids without teeth
 

Thanks for the positive post. And pulverize is the perfect word. That's what she does with her toast. (I'm scared she has some chemicals in her mouth that reduce the solids to liquid like those nasty dinosaurs in Jurassic Park - remember those?).

How would she pulverize pieces of meat, though? I did pick up some ground turkey which I can cook but I would think bits of meat can't be fully broken down with her dinosaur spit unlike bread, which can be.

Lawyer Princess - thanks for the scrambled egg idea. That would be a perfect texture. I think I have to check with the doc though, right? B/c aren't eggs supposed to be tried later in kids? Your bagel idea is funny. Because the doc at her 6 month exam had said to give her a large bagel and "she will hold it, smell it, and try to eat it but won't be able to and that's how she will learn that there is such a thing called food that is too large to fit in one's mouth."

So much for THAT "lesson". I gave her a huge bagel and within 30 seconds, she was able to rip it apart and was pulverizing it. (And I noticed from our Mother's Day Buffet Brunch that she can devour a biscuit -- the soft, Southern kind, very easily but I would think that's not good for her, with all the butter and salt in them?)

FWIW, she's been using a sippy cup since 6 months old. The whole thing is strange. She's taken her first few steps, yet has no teeth and is only 13 pounds at 8 1/2 months!

Solids without teeth
 

We gave our little one scrambled eggs starting at around eight months. Other than peanut butter, honey and whole grapes, we didn't put too much stock in the "don't give them X" thing, and I can't think of a single objectionable thing a baby is likely to get from a fully-cooked egg, including allergies.

The funny thing is, em wouldn't eat them plain. Rather than load them with salt and pepper, we got a recommendation from our godson's parents, who are both advanced foodies, to use Herbes de Provence. The kid went nuts for it, just like our godson had. We're hoping that this kind of spicing will make it less likely that em'll go through the Plain Off-White Food Phase.

Get yourself some eggs and some Herbes de Provence.

Baby foods
 

Well, if you want to be really fanatic about the food-allergy-avoidance thing (really only an issue if one of the parents has food allergies), you should avoid: eggs, peanuts, wheat, milk, citrus, strawberries, chocolate, and probably some other things I'm forgetting. If you're really that paranoid, it can make finding acceptable foods harder--even Cheerios have wheat starch in them.

That said, I wouldn't worry about giving the vietbabe biscuits--sure, they have lots of fat, but fat is good for babies (and it sounds like overweight is not a problem here). They don't have that much salt, especially compared with prepared snack foods like potato chips or that perennial favorite Goldfish crackers.

I would recommend: shredded cheese, whole milk yogurt, saltine crackers (you can get unsalted tops), teddy grahams, Cheerios and Kix, frozen peas (slightly thawed, but Magnus has always liked them straight from the freezer), cubes of cooked (cooled) sweet potato and, when they're in season, ripe pear. You can also check in the health food section of your supermarket or some place like Whole Foods for other low-allergen baby snacks.

If she really just wants what you're having, you can adapt some of the stuff from your plate, or invest in one of those baby food grinders. Mashed potatoes were the first thing Magnus learned to eat with a spoon--they're easy to scoop and don't fall off the spoon.

I wouldn't worry too much about trying to get her to eat meat. Seriously! Magnus (at 2 3/4) has only recently started eating any kind of meat other than white meat chicken, and it hasn't stunted his growth any. It's also really hard to get any kind of meat into a consistency that an 8 1/2 month old can handle, and it's not the easiest thing for them to digest.

tm

Solids without teeth
 

They may not be fully broken down by her dinosaur spit, but they will be broken down in her stomach, and I can't imagine she could choke on ground meat. The issue is how big it is going down the gullet, and whether it could block her airways: it always gets turned into the proper byproducts once inside (as we all know too well).

Feed 'em what they'll eat, within reason. LP is right- I had totally forgetten about eggs. "cheesy eggs" were the main protein source for turtle no. 2 for about a year and a half- scrambled with that god-awful individually wrapped american cheese melted in (don't know why- they were never quite the same with cheddar).

Solids without teeth
 

I don't mean to be a Timmy, but legally American cheese is not entitled to be called such because of the manufacturing procedure. It's always called "Processed Cheese Food" on the labels as a result, which is gross because it makes for an odd parallelism with baby food, dog food, and Chinese food.

Solids without teeth
 

I thought this was because it's made from soybeans, not milk.

Solids without teeth
 

Huh. I thought it was because they added an emulsifier to give it that Velveeta texture and low melting point. I'd bet it contains some milk, because I've never seen a vegan or lactose intolerant person volunteer to eat any, and they'll eat any shit made with soy.

Solids without teeth
 

The baltspawn are a little ahead of vietbaby in age and we're going through what appears to be the tail end of the worst of this. They refused to eat anything they couldn't feed themselves for a couple of weeks, but now seem pretty content to go back to spoonfuls of semi-soft stuff followed by feeding themselves for a while. I think they figured out they weren't very efficient at feeding themselves yet, and got hungry.

At any rate, even without functional teeth (i.e. nothing opposing), they haven't had any problem with breads like bagels (which they are content to just chew on for a while), love cheerios, will eat cooked peas, carrots and green beans (cut up), love cut up fruit, especially partially frozen, and have taken to poached chicken breast cut up into little bits. They also really like cheese.

If you think vietbaby can't handle it, try this: poach a chicken breast in a little water and chop it into small cubes (1/4"). Let it cool and try mashing a cube between your fingers. It will turn to a grainy pulp in short order. vietbaby's gums are at least as efficient as your finger tips.

Oh, and American cheese is really cheese, but the wrapped up stuff must be labled cheese food product because it is not 100% cheese (it does indeed contain emulsifiers). Real american cheese is essentially a cheddar-type cheese that has been heat tempered to make it more smooth, but is 100% cheese. That Kraft, um, stuff, however, is not. I think it has to be 60 or 70 % cheese to be labled cheese food product. Babies shouldn't be given cheese made from unpasterized milk (hard to find anyway- but if you can find it, buy it and don't share it with your kids) or cheese that is very aged.

Ummmm. Cheese.

Solids without teeth
 

I think I was thinking of Velveeta, not American cheese. Sorry.

I think I was thinking of Velveeta, not American cheese. Sorry.


__________________

I never did go so far as to give my kids velveeta. My nutritional relativism does have its limits (its just got to be food- is that so much to ask?)

Speaking of which, I have found a quite acceptable compromise on the cereals that are mostly marshmellows and oh-so-appealing (and conveniently placed at eye level for a six-year-old on the shelves): we can buy them, but they have to eat it for dessert; breakfast requires something more, well, food-like. Call it caving, but it has more nutritional value than an ice-cream cone or a cookie, and we no longer have to have big battles at the supermarket.

Thanks and A Funny
 

Thanks to all for the eating advice. GREAT IDEAS. I'll get my house in order better over the weekend but today Viet_Babe had bits of pork from my sandwich, kiwi fruit which she shoved in her face, bits from an applecake, cheerios and, of course, formula. Hmmmn. Whatever!

Thought you'd enjoy this ditty.

Definition of a Barbecque

It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do.

When a man volunteers to do the 'BBQ' the following chain of events are put into motion:

1. The woman goes to the store.

2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along withthe necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.

4. The man places the meat on the grill.

5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.

6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9. After eating, the woman clea rs the table and does the dishes.

10. Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.

11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Thanks and A Funny
 

This is toooo funny. When we have friends over, we often barbeque, and this is exactly what happens. He has no idea how much work it is.

Mark Walker
 

Mark Walker
 

Dude, is that for real, or CGI? How did that kid make 18 in a row? Jeez, he shot better at 21 months than I do now.

Uncanny.

balancing family and work
 

New story in The American Lawyer about law firms' efforts to make more women partners.

From the article:

edited to add:

My posting of this link is in no way an endorsement of Heather Smith's lousy reporting -- or the American Lawyer's lousy editing, whichever it may be -- in the piece about this board in the same issue.

Bad Mommies
 

The link below is a website about being "Bad Mommies". The "confessions" from "Bad Mommies" include the following. Doesn't look like you can add to the site but I'd love to hear your own confessions!

"I consider popsicles food... I think that raisins and string cheese are a perfectly acceptable supper... Cereal is a dinner food, and peanut butter & crackers can be used for breakfast...One day I gave my daughter Cool Whip on her carrots to get her to eat them."

"I recently waited so damn long to iron that my daughter OUTGREW one of her favorite dresses, which was in the to-be-ironed stack."

"I rarely ever washed the pacifier....I blow off the pacifier instead of boiling it....I've also done the picking up the pacifier and putting it in my mouth to wipe it off thing...."

"I have been reprimanded by daycare staff for bringing her to the daycare with a Starbuck's kids hot chocolate in one hand and a plain bagel in the other. ( I told them that criticizing me for the Starbucks breakfast showed a lack of cultural sensitivity because I, like many Peruvian children, was raised on coffee with steamed milk and bread for breakfast. I was merely carrying on a family tradition.)"

"I forgot to feed my daughter supper the other night ...between the time we got home and the time she went to bed, she had 4 popsicles."

"Because I work fulltime, I miss out on most of the really bad poopie diapers, and am secretly happy about that."

"I took him to work with me for the first year or so and let him spend as much time sleeping in the swing as I could get away with. And when he started moving around, I would spend up to an hour with no idea where he was or whether my co-workers, bosses, or customers were stopping him from chewing on the electrical cords or banging on the glass. "

"I've pulled her beloved Pooh underwear out of the dirty laundry rather than fight to get her into a different pair."

"I have sent her to day care in her pajamas "

"I posted "naked butt" pictures of him on my homepage"

"My daughter has slept many a night in clothing "Not Intended for Use as Sleepware."

"I laugh when my daughter uses the word "ass" appropriately."

"I tell her that our TV doesn't get Barney"

"I relish when the baby takes a 3-hour nap. Do NOT use this time to catch up on the photo albums, but rather take a long nap myself. Follow up by complaining about never having any private time."

"I tell my daughter "I'm working" when I'm really posting on the bulletin boards."

http://www.worknwoman.com/worknmom/badmommyclub.html

balancing family and work
 

could you post that article, please?

For Sidd
 

I'm not the original poster who mentioned it, but Here is the article you wanted

AmLaw article
 

Thanks. What tripe -- one would think that every post on this board is riddled with sex and profanity (instead of just recognizing that adults should have the freedom to intersperse their speech with four-letter words if they want to).

More to the point, if the GA boards were such an albatross around West's neck, why did they fight to keep them? Why did they delete posts about the new boards? One would think a journalist might ask these questions, but....

Serious topic
 

I'd like to get your thoughts on a recent tragedy that has been in our local papers. We live in a very hot climate--we've had over 100 degrees for over two weeks now. Every year, several kids die when they are inadvertently left in the car. We had our first of the year on Sunday, when a devoted father and hight school teacher changed his morning routine and forgot to drop the baby at the sitters. He was in the car all day and while he was still alive when found after eight hours, died that night.

So far the parents have not been prosecuted in these cases, but this case is being referred to the DA.

In my opinion, this man had no criminal intent. Prosecution and jail time would not send a message that we need to pay more attention to our kids. This man knew that already; it was a mistake. But, people are ready to stone him.

What do you think?

thoughts on tragedy
 

It is that time of year again, isn't it? sigh. this happens where I am as well. My feeling has always been that if the parent is not a total jackass, living with this will be more punishment than the law can dole out, and the publicity about such a horrific mistake is as good or better a deterrent than prosecution. Then once in a while someone who really is a total jackass, and not a devoted parent, etc etc, does something like this and every parental fiber of my being wants the book thrown at them. On balance, though, I think that parental mistakes, however awful, when not a part of chronic or deliberate neglect or abuse, should not be the provence of the criminal justice system.

(must say I've made plenty of mistakes, but that's one that gives me too many nightmares to ever make- besides, my kids are not quiet enough in the car).

Serious topic
 

I would want to take it case by case - obviously this was a mistake and in this case, I would want the law to show him some mercy, but this is an instance where the laws are undoubtedly inadequate.

We had one here a week or so ago, except it was the daycare that left the child in the van. I guess one question is should a daycare worker be held to a higher standard than a parent? Of course the daycare worker has a clear duty and is being paid specifically to care for the child (and perhaps should have had safeguards in place to prevent this) - if one is going to prosecute a caycare worker, should one should also prosecute a parent for the same acts, absent extenuating circumstances?

We had one last year where mom went out - got drunk (left kid in the car at night) and stumbled home leaving the baby to die in the heat the next day - obviously much worse than just forgetting, but the same result. I was hoping she'd be stoned.

We get a lot of these here (Texas) and each time I just think, what the hell - how did you not notice your infant/child missing for hours?

Along similar lines (keeping in mind the very pro-gun attitude down here), we had a 7yo child killed with her dad's gun while being watched by a babysitter. The father was a police officer and had several guns out within reach of his several children. That father is being prosecuted and arguably being held to a higher standard than others in the same situation becuase he obviously knew better. Many folks disagree with this, and I'm not sure jail time will serve to prevent him from committing the crime again - I'm sure the tragedy is enough to do that - but you can't exactly let him off can you? - but for his obvious disregard for safety, his child would still be here.

-TL

Serious topic
 

1) There are plenty of crimes that don't require intent. E.g., negligent homicide/manslaughter. I don't have a problem with jail time for someone so reckless as to leave their child in a hot car.

2) There is deterrent value in these prosecutions, because it heightens public awareness of the problem while showing that there are repurcusions. It also honors society's obligation to protect its children. Do I think such people are a risk to society? No. Are they a risk to their other children? Possibly. Does either of those mean there should be no prosecution? No, because then any person who killed on the basis solely of a relationship they no longer have could not be put in jail (e.g., what's the risk of letting O.J. go free--just don't let him remarry)

3) The reason, if any, to prosecute non-parents more harshly is because the deterrent of caring is less substantial. With parents, we presume they want their kids to live, so it must be a "horrible mistake" when one of these deaths occurs (which isn't necessarily a reasonable presumption, but I digress). With day-care workers, it's often "just a job" so they don't have the same deterrent. Criminal prosecution can make the deterrent adequate.

Serious topic
 

Does news about prosecution heighten awareness more than news about dead babies? If the avoidance of your child's death insufficient to prevent forgetfulness, why is fear of proseuction enough? If we outlaw paper cuts and stubbed toes, would we stop getting them?

The deterrence is only relevant for intentional crimes. A parent who leaves a child in a car to go shopping should be punished, even if the child is unhurt. That would send a message and theoretically lower the incidence of stupid behavior.

Serious topic
 

I was in court a few years ago and saw 3 little boys in a car (a baby, a 3yo, and a 6yo or so). It was very warm out, but not summer. I reported them to an officer in the courthouse who said that so long as the window was rolled down for air, it was fine. (!!!!!!?????) I'm sure the kids were fine, but what if mom/dad had been in court all day and left them? What if someone ripped off the car (the window was rolled down for easy theft, after all)? Who the hell leaves 3 little kids alone like that?

-T(still pissed off about it)L

Serious topic
 

I think in the gun case I mentioned it has - people here are so used to kids getting blown away by the family gun that they don't blink anymore. This one caused quite a stir.

-TL

Serious topic
 

I totally agree. We used to draw a distinction between mere negligence (i.e., performing a commonly-occurring act in a manner not marked with the requisite level of care or attention) and recklessness (i.e., affirmatively engaging in an unusual act where danger is obvious, even if harm is not 100% assured). Hell, Russian roulette wasn't even a crime until some British lord decided that we needed a special doctrine to outlaw it. We could weigh the social utility of the conduct in the context of the willfullness of the act, and drew necessary distinctions between drag racing on the one hand, and inattentive driving on the other.

Now, with the gradual criminalization of negligence law, we weigh recklessness purely by looking at its consequences. We don't seriously punish epileptics who drive cars, unless they kill someone. Then, we charge them with Murder Two.

Criminal law has no business addressing itself to a single, tragic incident of forgetfulness. A prosecutor should not compound a tragedy by charging someone who is completely undone by regret and grief from an accident where it is clear that the "perp" wished everything against the harm. Otherwise, on principle, we should prosecute every auto accident as a battery.

Serious topic
 

However, those who are guilty of more than just forgetfulness (see my drunk mom leaving kid in car post above) should get more than a sympathy card from the prosecutor. And I assume you feel differently about those who are guilty of sheer stupidity - those who claim they thought it would be OK to leave baby in the car in 100 degree heat ("just for a few minutes") on purpose?

-TL

Serious topic
 

The law already has tools to distinguish between people who harmed others unintentionally as a result of inadequate carefulness, and those who intentionally engage in a harmful act incorrectly believing it to be harmless (as in your "stupidity on purpose" scenario).

I think your examples are better suited to a case-by-case analysis. For the "I forgot I had the baby" crimes, which I think are entirely different because they involve no conscious act, the case is clearer.

Typically, to constitute involuntary manslaughter, (1) the defendant's conduct must involve a high degree of risk of death or serious bodily injury, and (2) the defendant must be aware that his conduct creates this risk. Here, the prosecutors are taking a very loose view of (2) to ask whether a reasonable person would know that leaving the baby in the car could kill or injure it. The proper analysis is whether the defendant knew that what he was doing presented that risk. If he didn't know he was leaving the baby in the car, no crime was committed, just as sure as if someone had placed the baby in the trunk without his knowledge and it remained asleep the entire time.

Serious topic
 

ITA, TL

Serious topic
 

replace the crushed school teacher loving father from the original post with the more typical 23 year old crack addict with 3 kids. 1 died, the other 2 in hospital. now does your analysis change? I feel bad for the high school teacher because he's closer to me so its harder to be judgemental, but the crack addict didn't know there was the risk (unless you mean should have known). the other wierd thread to this stuff is the kind of parent who wants the kid dead, you know the lady in SC who drove into the lake, I know its paranoid, but might she not try leaving a kid in a car on a real hot day? this kind of thing is why I'm glad not to be involved in criminal law.

The Best Age
 

2.5 to about 4 is maybe the most magical. I think up to entering school you are always showing them new things and you are so the center of their world, and believed without question (I don't mean obeyed without question which is different). The, ummm, control issues get more frequent with age, and the "hard questions" get harder. Example, my oldest just started high school and we're all over her to get grades up so she has options in college choices. Meanwhile, her grades are higher than mine were. We also are still waiting for the "did you take drugs?" but its also a cool time to see her as she starts becoming an adult , and see what she's taken of your personality. The elementary school years are fun because they start having interests of their own, sports etc. but elementary school is also where they start to learn you are not infalliable. both mine went to the extreme of deciding that I, in fact, knew nothing. middle school years- no comment.
What I've heard is the hardest is when they are 25-30. they are trying to find their way in the world, huge decisions/changes are happening, often big failures/disappointments, and you basically can't help with anything. the one piece of advice, enjoy as much as possible because they get grown up very quickly.