House of Sand and Fog
 

Well, did you depose the soon-to-be ex?

House of Sand and Fog
 

I may be a slut but right now I would not dream of deposing Mr. Kiss. Unless ABBA was also there and she was ok with it.

Boston Red Slobs
 

Wouldn't it be better to enforce a stricter steroid policy next season?

eta this is it? This is all I get on a Monday morning after I've spent 1 1/2 hours in security just to become late for my flight and then to be put in the "express" lane which moved slower than the regular lines and then to have some moron make me take my tennis shoes off (TENNIS SHOES) and then have to run to catch my flight without tying my shoes and being the last person on the plane and to come back to read the scintillating posts and this is it?

Boston Red Slobs
 

WE all had extraordinarily scintillating weekends but have been so cowed by mmmmmmmmmm89673's accusations that we make shit up that we're keeping it all to ourselves.

So, an hour and a half in security, eh? Full body cavity search? Do tell.

Rush & McNabb revisited
 

This explains Geddy Lee's constant wailing. Thank god they found painkillers.

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

No, seriously - this guy would not let ANYONE through the metal detector until ALL of your miscellaneous shit had gone through xray. And then the bastard tells me to take my tennis shoes off - I travel in tennis shoes and pack my dress shoes because at MOST airports, tennis shoes get the xray waiver. Then he pulls someone's grandma aside in front of me. They get the female guard with the rubber gloves to pat search grandma while we had to stand and watch - because no one gets through until grandma gets her pat down. I've had the pat-down before, as I've explained here, but this was above and beyond even my pat-down.

I had the full spread your legs while I rub your thighs, then now I'm going to touch your breasts with my rubber gloved hands. But poor grandma had to lift her arms while they felt her armpits as well as the feeling under and over and between the breasts. I thought it was overkill, but grandma didn't mind.

Rush & McNabb revisited
 

But he speaks like an ordinary guy...

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

That is so hot.

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

It had been a while since grandma had gotten any action, what with grandpa addicted to the internet gay porn.*


*struggling to recall the exact content of the NFH grandpa jokes of yore.

Milli Vanilli
 

I can't believe this hasn't made the rounds yet. Ashlee Simpson pulls a Milli Vanilli.
Ashlee Simpson wasn’t in sync with the song she was lip-synching on “Saturday Night Live,” the public had a Wizard-of-Oz-like-moment, a glimpse behind the curtain of faux entertainers.

And it came from the singer, who when asked her opinion of lip-synching by Lucky magazine not long ago, replied, “I'm totally against it and offended by it. I'm going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around. Personally, I'd never lip-synch. It's just not me.”

Aside from the hypocrisy, the way our gal Ashlee handled it all was rather graceless. There was the bizarre Axl Rose-like jig, the walking off stage, and, of course, the unforgivable: lying about it and blaming her band.


you can watch the video here

Fans are upset that she lied and tried to blame the band. She sucks and now hopefully her career will be over. It's only sad that she couldn't take Jessica down with her.

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

Ask fringey as she was the author/instigator. I seem to recall that it had something to do with dildos. Or for the Republicans - dildoes.

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

If I were your grandfather I would be moved by your stirring defense.

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

As the inventor* of the grandparent jokes, I have to say that it does not surprise me to hear that grandpa has moved from his love of pegging straight on to the internet gay porn. And I can see how grandma would be missing pegging grandpa, though I'm not sure how good a substitute getting felt up by a TSA employee is for pegging grandpa.

*I think

ETA JESUS, NFH, it's "invented" not "authored" or "instigated." Did the pegging fuck up the genes and make you stupid?

EATA it was strap-on, not dildo. Must we draw Venn diagrams for you?

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

that is so hot.

(ABBA, I am not going to copy you or steal your subjunctive-loving schtick any more. Just couldn't resist.)

Boston Red Slobs and Seahawks suck
 

Can you be sure you invented the grandfather joke?

And Jesus woman, don't get me started. I'm trying to be civil here after running through airports like OJ with a double tall latte and my shoelaces untied and having to have my carry-on checked because there's no more room in the overhead and then finding out that I have to sit in the exit row facing 3 people with no leg room and stuck in the middle between 2 assholes who won't share a fucking armrest. I'm just saying.