SD
 

Next I'm in your town we'll grab a drink.

Yes, I'm bangable.

Speaking of Poker
 

IN 2002, Robert Valkroyni, an amateur, beat Julian Gardner to win the WSOP. When the final table began, Phil Hellmuth said that he'd shave his head if Valkroyni won.

In 2003, which I believe ESPN is starting to air now,

S

P

O

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L

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S

P

A

C

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Chris Moneymaker (yes that is his real name) won the $2.5 million final event, which he entered by winning a $40 super-satellite on an on-line poker room. Pretty impressive.

As an aside, if I were still gambling, the only way I would play online poker is tournaments. I think there's lots and lots of collusion going on in "live games" online. 3 friends get on the phone and talk to each other about their hands. When one of them has a great hand, the others raise and re-raise, trapping the unsuspecting other players at the table. It doesn't make winning a sure thing on every hand, but it sure helps in the long run. But at tournaments, they send people to random tables, which makes the above-described practice nearly impossible.

Another Dilemma
 

Exactly. That's why I got mine. All the casual sex with gorgeous unnamed babes was taking up too much of my free time.

Vegas
 

This may have been answered in the past, but what are peoples' opinions on strippering in Vegas (for a bachelor party)? Hire one for the suite? Or just go to one of the local establishments?

If we can get Kobe Tai (from "Very Bad Things"), then I'm going with the former...

Vegas
 

Previously, I would have said both options were fine, but with the recent crackdowns (no pun intended) on "dancing" at some of the Vegas establishments, the first option is sounding better and better... If you go that route, get at least 2 (preferably that "enjoy each other's company", wink wink, nudge nudge) and watch out for shower hooks...

Edited to say that: Of course, the public humiliation aspect of the clubs is always fun... Have a couple of club-provided incriminating Polaroids of some friends from there...

Adaptation
 

Apparently the masturbation scenes in Adaptation are the key to the whole movie. I can't really figure out why, but this is my best guess:

Nobody and nothing in the movie really "exists" except in Charlie's mind. His twin is just another aspect of his personality. The movie is just about two ways of doing the same adaptation of the novel - the first half is Charlie attempting to write and be true to himself and the second half is him saying fuck it and writing the screenplay the way he thinks it will work because he has no real understanding of the world. So Charlie is split in two - (the Donald half takes over in the second half) and the movie is split. And it's about him trying to adapt the book and trying to adapt to the world at the same time. And the book is about an orchid, which is a flower that constantly has to learn to adapt. And the Seminoles have to adapt, and Meryl Streep can't adapt to New York because she's in love with the toothless guy blah blah blah.

And the movie has all kinds of echoes of this split. "The only thing more clichéd than a serial murderer is split personality" etc. Donald's kidnapper and kidnappee are the same person, Susan has two separate lives etc. And when Donald dies at the end, it means that Charlie is learning to adapt to the world so he no longer needs this other personality.

So does the masturbation explain the whole movie because when you masturbate instead of having another actual real person there to have sex with, you just conjure one up and it's actually two people having sex but both of them are you? And the movie is a whole exercise in masturbation because it's just a huge exercise in Charlie's self-indulgence - why do we care about what is going on in his head?

There are unusual parallels between Adaptation and the movie "the Ladies Man" - that you all may not have noticed - i.e. the masturbation scenes, the disturbing duality between Will Ferrell and the Ladies Man, the orchid drug and the Courvoisier, the car accident/the boat accident etc.
It's uncanny.

Dilemma
 

I don't mean this to be harsh to those who don't "like" being a lawyer, but let's face facts:
1 average income of those posting is way above national average
2 most of you have enough control to go see family/personal things you want to do. ie don't punch a clock and have freedom to be at kid's school play at 2PM Tuesday. Admitted, might require working on Satruday.
3 most all jobs blow in one respect or another- especially once they are routine and something new is not happening every day.
4 many (most?) of us make well into 6 figures and yet have freedom to post hundreds of times here- you are not all swamped every second of every day.

Adaptation
 

I first saw the Orchid as a Christ figure the way it was cut down and picked up. I also saw the brother as a Christ figure the way he died. The accident to the toothless guy made me think of a Christ reference also. I first thought the theme was "there are alot of things claiming to be Christ around here.

then i caught the Being John M. overtones: see Adaptation was "outside" that movie about being "inside". That's when I got it, the "inside" reference of course makes this movie above vaginas. the orchid was simply a parallel to the movie about what's "outside." Hope this helps!

* got a solid B- in theatrical themes in Sophmore year at Enormous State U.

Speaking of Poker
 

Phil Helmuth made a bet that if a certain amateur, Robert Varkoni (or something like that) won the 2002 World Series of Poker, he'd shave his head. Varkoni was at the final table and seemed to play some very questionable hands, but the cards came up for him and he knocked out a ton of pro players. He eventually went on to win (again, by hitting great cards in an underdog situation), and Phil got his head shaved at the table. The ESPN2 showings everyone is talking about is from this year's tournament, 2003, in which defending champ Robert Varkoni was knocked out on the first day, but at least this time he was actually holding good pocket cards, KK. Unfortunately, Scotty Nguyen held pocket aces, and there was no help for Varkoni on the board. Was that sufficiently nerdy enough?

Flinty (I think I won money last night)


Edited to add: Once again, str8 is johnny on the spot--I missed your earlier post. I would invite you to play with us, but I respect your no-wagering choice.

Dilemma
 

No risk of that. It's an almost word for word plagiarization of an opening monolog from an early Seinfeld episode.

Drinking Age
 

I was surprised at some of the drinking ages listed...

chart of drinking age/age to purchase

Drinking by minors under adult supervision is permitted in licensed premises in provinces of Manitoba and New Brunswick and at home in Prince Edward Island, Alberta, British Columbia, Ontario and Saskatchewan.

Denmark - Alcohol may be purchased at age 15 for off-premises consumption, but not until age 18 at on-premises establishments.

Germany - Beer and wine may be served to people under 16 only if they are accompanied by parents.

14 year old - "Hey mom, could we go to a bar and have a beer?"

Edited to add...it seems more dangerous to let a 15 yo buy alcohol for "offsite" consumption - at least it would have been for me and my friends.

just wondering
 

When children are killed because an idiot left them in a hot car too long, why is the car always an SUV? Is it because they're so big that you don't see the children back there?

Drinking Age
 

That was more of a business decision on the part of the liquor lobbyists, designed to cut down on the on-premises vomiting.

Drinking Age
 

Um, the idea is that if children don't view alcohol as some taboo-like scary substance, they'll be less inclined to want to overindulge when they can get their paws on it legally. If you grow up with alcohol as no big deal, it stays that way for your whole life. At least that's the idea. I think it's a good one.

Drinking Age
 

That reminds me of the time I tried to walk through a drive through liquor store in New Mexico. They wouldn't sell me anything, citing state law. I argued that it was much safer to sell to my pedestrian self than it was to sell to my vehicled self, but the vendor was adamant.

Dilemma
 

Ouch, babe. I wouldn't go that far, but I do remember the episode you're talking about. Don't think it was Monopoly in particular, but the punch line was "Lawyers are the ones who write/read the rules on the inside of the box."

Drinking Age
 

That's a really good theory, but what I can remember from being 15, is that a 15 yo does not know their limits. Much the same as when you're in college and you binge. You don't really know your limits until you've puked at least that one time.

But, I guess if you're drinking with your family then there might be less of a tendency to get hammered (unless your family is intolerable, then...drink till you puke).

Greetings
 

Hello to those who remember me. I switched jobs and thus, I have been away. I am just flying through.

I see that the fashionistas have migrated. hmm.

keep up the good work!
See ya
Wigs

just wondering
 

It's the warm, protective blanket of greenhouse gases in the immediate vicinity. Snuggly in winter; deadly in summer. Was the woman who was caught on tape beating the shit out of her toddler in the mall parking lot driving an SUV? I'm less clear on the science underpinning that correlation, if any.

As for me, I'm very excited about the prospect of the Ford Escape Hybrid to be sold to the public in Summer 2004. A 201 hp V-6 equivalent SUV with 40 mpg! Woo-hoo!

just wondering
 

I'm probably trading in my Explorer for one as soon as the reviews come out favorably. $2000 tax credit, here I come.

just wondering
 

I'd hold out for the hybrid Lexus RX330 which is due out at about the same time. That is, unless Ford's reliability miraculously improves.

just wondering
 

Why did I see that coming?

(Actually, most of the incidents I've seen have involved mini-vans, which suggests that kids tend to die in vehicles that tend to get bought by people with kids.)

Drinking Age
 

I could be a case study to prove GWNC's point. Growing up, we were allowed to drink wine at dinner on special occasions. My underage relatives are still allowed to do this in my family.

While I was in high school, my best friend's parents encouraged all their kids and kids' friends to drink at their house so there would be supervision. We drank just as much and got into a lot less trouble than our classmates who were stumbling around in the woods.

The sad irony was that my friend's sister was killed by a drunk driver.

Dilemma
 

I think you misunderstand. I'm not and never was that kid. It's an analogy. I feel like I have to be that kid for my job. That's what I do.

TM

just wondering
 

And then, hope like hell that a lot of them get sold, or you won't find a part for them anywhere after a few years.

just wondering
 

In other words, "why post that, it means nothing, it adds no facts to the discussion, it's just someone's conclusions and we know what his conclusions are going to be all the time anyway"?

Just checking.

just wondering
 

Good point. Lexus is aparrently going to market it as the upscale model... V-8 power with economy car mileage. There should be enough people who would get suckered into going for the perceived top of the line model to keep then selling for a few years (not that I would buy one until they had been around for a decade or so) I see a surprising number of Hybrid civics in these parts though. And by surprising, I mean that I notice one that has a hybrid badge on the back every other week or so.

just wondering
 

You are a bitter, spiteful little man.

;)

The fake chuckle
 

Can someone teach me how to perfect one of these bad boys? I have noticed that some of those in offices near mine are really strong in this area. They use them for chit chat around the proverbial water cooler with people who clearly make their skin crawl (like the fat guy, the Bill Lumbergh guy, the bimbo looking lady). One of these folks tries to make a funny and these fake chucklers just toss the head back and do their thing. They also do it really well with partners, who do it right back if they are in a fake good mood that day. Me, I just do a fake grin and try to squint my eyes and make it look like a real grin. Then I get the hell away from the water cooler. My fake laugh, which is quite rusty, always sounds so transparently fake to me that I think it would offend the undesirables on the receiving end of it. And god forbid they heard my real laugh which sounds nothing like my fake chuckle, and which apparently cannot be simulated, then the undesriables would know for sure that they were being fake chuckled at. Which I think is kind of insulting to their intelligence, such as it is.

So how do these people pull it off? Are they really fooling the undesirables? And arent these fake chuckles more rude than polite?

just wondering
 

Well, every single problem I've had with the Explorer has been self- or other person-inflicted (dent from backing into pole in front fender, replacement of passenger side mirror due to miscalculation of distance of gate, two windows replaced due to other people badly wanting my stereo or rollerblades, armrest over center console replaced because the Displaced Dog thinks of it as a throne, wheel replaced because backed into a curb and dented it). Aside from regular oil changes and scheduled tune ups, I've never had to take it in for anything mechancial. I've had it four years / 45000 miles, and I wouldn't hesitate to trust it to take me anywhere I need to go.

Greetings
 

Ok, one more off the MIA list.

Welcome back, bro.

not7yS

Dilemma
 

Speak for yourself. I am so swamped that I have to have my secretary type my posts in. Oh and I really crack the whip when there are spelling errors.

just wondering
 

How does a 5 year old die in a car? That is my question. And how does he allow his 3 year old brother to die in the car? My 5 year old is unbuckling his belt and raring to go as soon as I pull up the parking break and shut off the car. Because I cannot say it any way without sounding like a cold-hearted bitch, I will simply say "natural selection" and no more.

Another Dilemma
 

So let me get this straight. You're sporting low rise, tight, hip huggers? Good God man.

TM

The fake chuckle
 

I almost forgot that you are not married. :D

Dilemma
 

Your sister and I would have gotten along smashingly.

To this day, I still cannot stay in one place for an extended period of time unless entertained. I watch TV while reading a magazine and checking the internet from time to time. I leave weddings that last more than 1/2 hour.

Anyone else have this problem? If something bores me, I just can't deal with it. Its terrible. I don't know how these people can say "This case involves fassscccinating issues." I'll read the memo about it and say "This is where it'll go - no issue at all." Then I'm bored. Then I daydream. I only wake up when something interests me.

just wondering
 

I'm thinking about getting one. Anyone have anything to say about them, pro or con?

Another Dilemma
 

Yeh, these pants are a bit much, but I got a Brazilian wax to make sure everything's tasteful.

just wondering
 

Well, one theory, to connect it back to teh SUV question posed by Ty: They've got the playstation going and figure it's just like their living room. All of a sudden it seems really hot, and then, well that's that. Not too many playstations in the back of a honda accord.

Or mom leaves the car running, while gabbing on her cellphone sipping her chai latte, and the CO gets in. Nap time.

Another Dilemma
 

Yes. The brazilian makes it all tasteful.