Poster Boys
 

I'm generally against lying in interviews anymore. My dress is who I am. If you don't dig the threads, you won't like me, so we shouldn't work together.

Poster Boys
 

I imagine you in loud bellbottoms with big, frizzy hair.

Poster Boys
 

I'm thinking that if he is going to wear low-cut dresses, he needs to rethink his position on defoliating the chest.

Poster Boys
 

Yes. You can call it "Socker Room"

I'm the NFH of 2004!!
 

You have mistaken me for TM who is the one who posts lame e-mail jokes. I am the one who posts links to CNN. Please make a note of it.

And you forgot the one about throwing up at the end of the shift.

Poster Boys
 

Poster Boys
 

Dude, do you honestly think that navy blue expensive suits are who I am? I believe the chick known as my mom picked out the suit and the cat known as my dad paid for it.

Changed signature
 

OK, I ususally don't get obsessed with pop culture but I have changed my signature. Legaleze let me know if it is too offensive.

text messaging
 

OH, I see. We're text messaging AFRICA. No more tea and scones for me, Mama. I'm off to play the grand piano while I fly my aeroplane. Then I'll text message AFRICA.

Tax(bit of a luddite myself)wonk

HOW TO LIE WELL?
 

This is stellar advice. Follow it. Be the lie.

Also, it helps to tell the lie over the phone. I am so much better over the phone. Even if the person I am phoning is looking right at me.

Poster Boys
 

THAT'S IT! THAT'S HIM!

(fringey, you're right about the chest hairs)

text messaging
 

GWINKY may want to check out sending text messages from the web - most cell phone providers have a system through their web site where one can send a text message directly from a computer. For example, T-Mobile's page:

http://www.t-mobile.com/messaging/

It's much easier to compose messages there.

Disco Stu never lies
 

Big ups to Coltrane for the Disco Stu pic.

On lying:

Good liars do all the things that Coltrane and Atticus suggested. I also think that the number one way to get caught in a lie is inconsistencies, and someone picking up on inconsistencies. I could never lie to my wife because she has a freaky-scary memory about minutae that I've said months, even years before. She, however, can lie to me because unless something involves sports, cards, TV or numbers, I have the concentration-skills of a housecat with ADD. Therefore, another key to lying is an honest assessment of the memory/mental acuity of yourself, and the person you're lying to. The amount/number of lies you'll be able to get away with is a function of your ability to keep your shit straight, and the lie-ee's abillity to remember the shit that would be your undoing.

On lying to your boss when calling in sick:
Don't hack and cough and shit. Sound perfectly normal. No first hand experience with this, just a feeling that underacting>overacting.

Anyone know anybody who got busted for lying to their boss about something serious? Any good stories? How about anyone who got busted for cheating on their spouse? How did it they get caught? Or if they got away with it, what were their success tips for getting away with it?

Disco Stu never lies
 

Very smooth, waiting till the end to throw all that in there. Are you asking on behalf of one of Sebby's friends? Or are you writing a screenplay?

P.S. I think most people are so busy thinking about themselves that they don't pay attention to others' behavior enough to be able to analyze whether someone is lying or telling the truth. It's just that when you are in a situation where you or people generally have incentive to lie, or where people are commonly known to lie, then you as the lie teller become overly sensitive to being detected. If you have a reputation for always telling the truth, you are not likely to trigger this concern even in those situations, so you just have to keep your oversensitity (I was going to correct this to oversensitivity, but I decided I like the way it is, esp. as mine are very sensitive) in check.

This is why IRL I like to be very direct and reveal things about myself that others might not expect me to reveal (see, e.g., sensitive tits revelation above). That way, nobody ever thinks I have any secrets. Mwoooohahahahaha. Seriously, I rarely lie, and never about anything big, because I forget the truth of what I wrote above, and I'm too self conscious about being detected.

And never, ever call in sick on a Monday or a Friday unless you really are. Everyone in the office will talk about you if you do. And I agree, no hacking is necessary, nor is an explanation of the symptoms or origins. "I am too sick to come in today."

Poster Boys
 

I love this post so much I had to quote it.

I am going to start referring to people this way to their faces.

"Hey, chick known as my mom, can you watch the Brazenette this weekend?"

"Hey, cat known as my dad, can I borrow $100?"

"Hey, incompetent sow known as my secretary, could you start filing documents in the correct client files so coke whore known as me could find them when asshole known as Partner asks me about them?"

While Paigow coined this, I'd like to opine that I invented this.