Odd
 

Is the asterisk-with-no-reference some kind of coyly cute inside joke? Because while I don't get it, it's annoying.

Odd Weather
 

It's Sparklehorse, isn't it?


ETA: Alternative "Hank-like Reply" (tm) was "So, Starbucks was out of the chocolate croissants today?"

Friday
 

This is shaping up to be an excellent Friday. Let me join the fray:

PLF is a big meanie.

Friday
 

Copycat.

Odd
 

This is too rich...

Odd Weather
 

I thought it was ShapeShifter?

Odd Weather
 

Sparklehorse or spookyfish.

Though, since spookyfish is in boston, that must mean it is sparklehorse.

I have switched to maple oat nut scones.

Odd
 

Go for it.

Friday
 

Translation: I shall never suck a cock again.

Odd Weather
 

I bought some snickerdoodles this morning at Whole Foods. They're a little crunchier than I like, but they remind me of childhood, so they're good.

Friday
 

meow

Friday
 

jealous much, big meanie?

Odd
 

Yeah! Do it! Go for the TOTAL BURN!

This is gonna be so fucking awesome.

ltl/fb, please know that we understand in advance that you will be so completely emotionally devestated from the total burn that you will probably need to immediately retire from the FB forever. No need to try to pull it together long enough to make some attempt at a farewell speech.

Odd
 

I rather liked Coltrane's farewell/rebirth speech.

Odd
 

Was that the penis whoopie cushion post? If so, then I agree. It was some of his best work, if not his best work.

Odd
 

This was written a half hour ago. Sebastian can sever the jugular with even an off-the-cuff remark. The fact that he is spending this much time crafting the total burn does not bode well for ltl/fb. If I were her, I would have already anticipatorily retired from the FB forever.

Odd
 

I miss PLF. <sniff>

Odd
 

"Coltrane's Oeuvre" would be a good name for a band.

Odd
 

The kids couldn't pronounce the second part. It would just be "Coultrane' Ovmrmgmrmf." That said, they can open for the Blowjob Camels any time. Not Attican Bedshitter, though. No way could Coultrane's Oeuvre stand up to sort of Butthole Surfers-meet-the Residents-at-a-Sun Ra-show mindfuck that is Attican Bedshitter.

Odd
 

Good point. Their audience would be limited to the pretentious art-rock crowd.

Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

Odd
 

Nice! I always pictured Attican Bedshitter as more of a The Stooges shooting up with the Miles Davis Quintet while getting blow jobs from Bananarama kind of mind fuck, but your concept works well too.

Odd
 

it mey bea doutfull weather she wood bea devestated from the totel bern.

Odd
 

What a wonderful flame-free Friday!

Odd
 

You forgot to split an infinitive. Good job!

Head Motions
 

I kind of picture Thurgreed doing that little chin-point/reverse nod thing with the "Go 'head" phrase.

tm

Odd
 

I wouldn't normally be stupid enough to start it up with the PLFster, as that usually ends back for the attacker, but I had just power-slammed two diet cokes so I was amped up.

Odd
 

Druggie fuck.

Maybe some mmmmmmangria would smooth things out.

Odd
 

I thought you had retired. I was already missing you.

Odd
 

You should have sent some nice PMs encouraging my fear of the 10k when you had the chance. But no. You and the rest of the silent majority let the vocal "get over it and post" minority carry the day.

That should teach you . . . something.

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

Assuming one's secretary/assistant/whatever-the-accepted-jargon-of-the-moment-is gave notice and will be leaving the firm prior to Christmas, one would be totally off-the-hook with respect to the customary holiday gift purchase, no?

Mental note: Be really mean to my assistant/secretary every October (allows prep time for interviews, offers and acceptance of alternative job).

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

My secretary is doing the same thing. I have only been at the firm for two months. I face a similar dilemma.

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

I consider it more of a bonus than a dilemma. Maybe I'll buy myself a spa day gift certificate, since that's what I probably would have been on the hook for. Fun!

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

Similarly, when one has been at a firm for less than a full year, is the xmas present obligation pro-rated or are you supposed to fully comply with the obligatory hijacking (on the theory that the guy you replaced is not going to provide anything)

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

No dilemma. Do you like him, even a little bit? Did he treat you well in your two months together? Give him a gift -- from a Starbucks gift card ("I kinda like him") to large coin ("he saved my life when my blouse got caught in the paper shredder").

No, you don't like him at all? Then don't get him anything. He's gone -- there's no downside.

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

Fully comply.

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

Of course. I'd even get her furniture and send it to Str8.

Would you tip a waitress who half way through your meal says 'thanks guys, I'm leaving early and Stacy will take over for me'? No. Stacy gets the extra tip.

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

I'm now considering an alternative approach. Very vociferously provide a lavish gift that all the other secretaries will talk about. They'll all want to be your bitch for the next year. Apparently this one didn't realize it had its benefits.

Festive Holiday Gift Recap
 

Absofuckinglutely.

TM

And Just Try to Find Pickled Tongue
 

We have a total of about 10 good delis in the Chicago area. Two of them are located in the Loop. Chicago has really died out as a great deli town. It's one of the reasons I don't mind so much living in Podunk.

Odd Weather
 

Yeah, try to confuse me more with doodles that snicker, to go with the horse that sparkles and the fish that is spooky.

"splendid" is another s-word modifier, if you want to go further. Or "super" (maybe "superman").