Judge Orders Book Report
 

One of my classmates put a bunch of dirt and worms in an ice cream pail. His report consisted of the following:

Hypothesis: How long worm grow.
Findings: 8 inches.

It was unclear which of the worms was the subject of his "testing."

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Paigow,

I'm sorry you feel so upset. I've enjoyed your posts, and think that under that self-righteous posturing princess who thinks of us all as her barefoot servants, there is a sincere and loving human being. I may have been outed as a non witness (OK, I was drinking with one before I posted and thought he was one hell of a nice guy, so I took his personna for the board), but do know that I'll be praying for you.

Watchtower

Judge Orders Book Report
 

You went to school with Karl Malone?

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Did anyone else think Petacchi looked like a rude disdainful wussybaggy bastard when he bailed out of the Tour two feet up into the mountains? That seriously impacted his standing on my crush list.

P('wussybaggy' in the sense of 'won repeated stages in the toughest athletic event in the world then bailed like a whining prima donna as soon as he hit someone else's specialty')J

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

I thought he looked like an Italian sprinter.

NTTATWWT

Home improvement poll
 

I have a poll topic. What would you like to improve on in your home next if money and time weren't major considerations? If you don't own your own home, again money not a major consideration, how would you re-do your furniture?

If you're happy with your house and furniture, what's your favorite feature of your house/furniture?



In some horrible former life, my house was attacked by the design concept of using mirrors to make the place look bigger. A previous owner decided to mirror in the fireplace and the wall above the fireplace all the way up to the ceiling. I have absolutely no idea what is underneath the mirrors except for some red brick that peeks out between the mirror and the actual fireplace. I'd like to undo the damage and free my fireplace from the disco era.

I'm assuming the worst, and I'm thinking that I'll have to design a new fireplace mantle and probably have to replaster the entire wall, which may mean uncovering some windows that were boarded in. The uncertainty of what is underneath and how much work (and money) is going to be requried to uncover it and redo it is the reason that I (like the previous owners, who apologized profusely for it) haven't gotten around to tackling the fireplace yet. I'm not sure whether the fireplace works or not, and currently, I have candles arranged inside.

Runners up:
1.) Rosebed on the west side of my front yard.
2.) Pavilion/gazebo/decadent lounging structure in my back yard.
3.) Re-do counters in stainless steel and cabinets in frosted glass of kitchen.
4.) Tile floors of kitchen.

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Agreed. As I observed last week, he is the heir apparent to Super Mario.

spoiler




















By the way, I liked Lance's dis of Vino in the post-race interview yesterday. When asked why he didn't follow Vino's attack, he looked back at the interviewer, who then asked "Are you concerned only with Ullrich?" Answer: Yes, he's the only one I'm concerned about.

Guess he had a good reason for that.

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

You are much nicer than his fellow cyclists. Baden Cooke, I just learned, called him "a wimp."

Home improvement poll
 

1. Refinish hard wood floors.
2. Build bigger deck.
3. Terrace front yard (this should maybe be number one, since I damn near kill myself each time I try to mow this 45 degree hill).

Plans for all three are underway.

For all of you Harry Potter fans...
 

Home improvement poll
 

good lord why on earth would you want stainless steel counters? What appliances would you possibly have? Black? Ever own stainless steel?

I have a brand new house (4 months old) with brand new appliances (stainless steel) and OMG what a maintenance nightmare they have become. They look so pretty and shiny when they're new, but actually cook and touch them and they get all fingerprinty. I can only imagine the horror of having counters. Once I owned a stainless sink - never again.

Joe Millionaire
 

From the does anyone care file?


Some of the women on “Joe Millionaire” were accused of being rather exhibitionistic — but now “Joe” himself has become a stripper.
Evan Marriott, the supposedly humble construction worker, was taking it all off in Nashville, Tennessee for a fundraiser for a foundation operated by country star Chely Wright. One fan snapped some beef-cakey photos of Marriott doing his strip-tease, and is hawking the pics on eBay.
Marriott told locals that he recently shot a small film part in a comedy and that he did not sleep with Sarah Kozer in the woods. “He says he didn’t do anything with Sarah,” a source tells The Scoop, “but no one wants to believe him.”
joe whatshisname

Edited to add link to pics on Ebay where, if you want, you can see Evan's butt crack.

ebay

Home Improvements
 

We just keep building on more space for the little Greedies. While we double bunk them for compact night time storage, they need studies, rec room, art space, family room, etc.

But we've already got the big thing for me: the wild, blow out, top of the line kitchen. Stainless steel isn't so bad in a sink, but I agree that counters are a bit crazy. But I love our big center island with built in restaurant style stove and our double ovens. And we did manage to squeeze a little wine cellar in the basement.

Home improvement poll
 

That's simple: about 3 pounds of plastic explosive and a detonator.

Knock out the whole kitchen and re-do.

Terrace the back yard.

New drywall in any room which has had at least 20 nail holes from previous owners patched up.

New windows in every room.

Home improvement poll
 

If it comes equipped with Jodie Foster, a panic room. If not, wainscoting.

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Whatever! You guys suck. Big time! As a lurker on this board and a used to be poster on the old board (remember Gorgeous Babe?), I’ll admit that I once found PP to be an insipid pain, like a bad yeast infection or something, but overtime I have come to realize that she is damn near the most entertaining wittiest poster on these boards. So now that you witless morons have driven her off, I hope you are satisfied. I blame purse junkie, Burger, billbore, MisterEbola, triple Greedy and the rest of the DC-based assclowns who have constantly gangbang flamed the Paigow over the years. Get a life already you losers and try posting something decent. Funny or entertaining or informative, instead of the lame drivel or whatever it is that Francis calls thos fufuland posters

The stream of b-OOOOO-ring posts on the Tour duh’ France just confirms that the coterie of horribly unfunny posters have infiltrated this board like the nightmare of the living dead. I’m just waiting for Penske or Aloha Hand dude or whoever to post the picture of the ugly Eurowhore podium girl. Gee that’s clever.

With that I am done on this subject before I veer into the land of the unfunny stuff that so many of you are content to dwell in. I truly regret what you have done today to Paigow and hope that you have not alienated her so much that she does, in fact, withhold her true genius and beauty from us forever.

Home improvement poll
 

Forgot one item - a Hot Chicks Room.

Yawn.
 

Agreed. Same thing with chess. Its just moving little pieces around on a board. What's the strategy? Go for the king now or try to get it later? To quote paigow, who was apparently quoting E/O, "yawn"

Home improvement poll
 

Um, I think maybe you're not her type. Just a hunch.

Me, I'd want to buy the condo upstairs and convert my one floor place into a two-floor place. Now, if I could just find that $1.5 mil I left lying around the office......

This Guy Right Here, My Kind of Guy
 

Beating a half-dead horse ...

The flat stages aren't that interesting (except for the last 500m), but the mountain stages are just good TV. Watching riders crack on the last climb of the day is unbelievable. No matter how strong you think you are, the mountain will still kick your butt if you overdo it. The big climbs are where egos go to die.

And say what you will, the TdF is infinitely more interesting than auto racing - thank g-d they don't just go around in circles - or celebrity golf.

WhY (Petacchi is indeed a wussybag. Real bike riders get over the mountains and do it inside the time limit.) PD

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Nice rave. Please stick around.

(But also, what's your evidence for beauty? Genius, well, OK, you have the raw material from which you could form a view. But how have you experienced her shining beauty?)

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

As surely as Paigow will return after announcing her departure, there will be, before that, a sockhomage begging for her immediate return. Now THAT's original.

Yawn.
 

Nice try Flower, but you are off base here. Wimbledon is nothing like chess. One is a sport, the other a game. Or can't you patchdwellers discern the diff?

Yawn.
 

I have (unfortunately) seen your show, and if you aren't a patchdweller, missy, I don't know who is.

The Suck Intern -- New Picture
 

Oooohh, a share in the Hamptons. A great place to escape condescending pomposity, as well as proles and those poor, icky brown people.

Walt Kelly would be proud -- you've become a parody of yourself and you don't even know it.

CDF (p.s., there's no denying that "Reba" is your sock. Just how pathetic are you? Either leave, or don't -- there's no need to be a screeching, feces-flinging ego monkey about it.)

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

You're truly a sweet little sock to care so much. But if she's going to faint at the first appearance of a less-than-adulatory response to her posts, doesn't that make her a little, well, simpy instead of Princessy?

I expect far more from her. Don't you?

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

I wasn’t trying to be original Burger, just sincere. You of all posters should know by now that there is a sizable portion of this board that appreciates Paigow as the one poster who can get people talking about interesting topics and who probably has the most consistently entertaining board persona since kafka or Argus or maybe even Shasta mcNasty before him.

My purpose in posting in favor PP is to point out that you and the other haters really truly need to lighten up, because obviously this board can't live without her and for my part I support the Paigow and pay homage to her not by a sock but just in the hopes of luring her back. For my part, I'm no princess as my history of posting on Infirm should illustrate and if you want to hate me for supporting Paigow, that's fine. I could care less and while I would love to try to fill her shoes if she is gone, but I am not that prolific or entertaining. Mkay?

Yawn.
 

Listen, Paigs, you know I love ya, babe, but just because you do not understand the strategy does not mean that none exists.

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

megalomania: n, ... 2. a delusional mental disorder that is marked by infantile feelings of personal omnipotence and grandeur.

Yup, that sounds about right.

Fashion News
 

Anyone who bought cosmetics in the last several years will be getting free product as part of a settlement:

http://business.boston.com/business/...oduct_giveaway

Woo-hoo! Let's just hope it's not the decaying remnants of an unpopular lipstick color in the Clinique warehouse!

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Isn't everyone personally omnipotent to a certain extent*? Doesn't that basically mean you're all-powerful over yourself?

*Unless you're B.F. Skinner; then no one ever has personal omnipotence...

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Reba, babe, I'm with you and I've got your back. While you may have once thought of PP as a bad yeast infection, I thought of her as my Hera, haughty, powerful, and old as the hills. I will miss her wit, wisdom, and constant bitch slapping. I already look back on her love of tennis (boing.... boing.... boing.... boing....), that thrilling game, so full of surpises (boing.... ), so difficult to anticipate (boing....), so unpredictable (boing.... ), and think, how will it ever be replaced (golf?).

Alas, Poor Paigs, we hardly knew ye!

Home improvement poll
 

My panic room, my rules.

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Oh, sure, we all tell you that before and you get pissed, but now you're willing to 'fess up?

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Can you be sure? Where are all the misspelled words? The random capitalization? Doesn't it remind you of another sock?

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

PP:

I don't know what you look like, but I know what Coulter looks like, and I wouldn't not want to bang her.

The only reason she's considered a hottie is because she works in an industry populated by the ugliest people around.

S(nor is she talented - I've been posting silly shock value nonsense to liven discussion on these boards for years, and no one has or should accuse me of being a genius for it)D

The Suck Intern -- New Picture
 

Quelle surprise! PP leaves the board and is unable to defend herself and the cowardly Frenchman shows up with his typical ass clenching flame. Don’t you bore yourself by now with this schtick?

And I cannot believe you thought I was Paigow. Not even close mon ami. You disappoint me, Paigow and the whole board. I cannot believe I once thought you were interesting as your posts show that you are obviously a fourth rate intellect, severely jealous of your mental and physical superiors who needs to vent his rage out somewhere.

Listen, for waht its worth, I don’t think anyone is claiming that Paigow is perfect, but what I was saying sucks is that some of the posters here, Chevy being the king of the heap, have a psychotic obsession with flaming her, when she obviously is the straw that stirs this board's drink. Get a life already!

Jesus, I cant believe I have been drug so far down into this muddy foolishness.

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

I'm sure.

That ain't PP.

The Suck Intern -- New Picture
 

Mexican for lunch?

Is it a date or just coffee?
 

Well, first we have the ass unclench his psycho flame and then for a little (very little) comic relief benny hill weighs in. Isn't there an I Love Lucy marathon on the Geriatric Network that you are missing pops?