trick or treat
 

Beats the hell out of me, as I have eleven bags of candy and not a single trick or treater has shown up.

I am going to be on the world's biggest sugar high for weeks to come.

For Halloween
 

That forwarded e-mail joke is so fucking hysterical it should have been posted by Dat Phan.

trick or treat
 

You should come to my neighborhood. Last year I handed out 9 bags of candy. At 9:00 I stopped answering the door - and who the hell rings the doorbell at 11:00?

As for the sugar high - too late here, I've been sampling the work candy to get a head start.

Hooking in the 303
 

Sorry I can't just post a link, but all I got on email was the text.

DPS truant officers play hooky
By News 4 Reporter Brian Maass, Special to the News
October 31, 2003
Denver Public Schools truant officers, who were supposed to be helping keep kids in school, were instead spending their days exercising, eating, visiting family and friends, running errands and going home, according to a three-month News 4 investigation.

The investigation found that some truant officers not only squandered their work days but also filled out daily log sheets with bogus information about where they had been and what they were doing.

"It looked to me like some of these truancy officers were treating their jobs as a publicly paid holiday," said state Rep. Andrew Romanoff, D-Denver, after viewing the News 4 report. Romanoff has sponsored anti-truancy legislation.

"Obviously, it's a painful irony that people whose job it is to keep kids in school can't keep themselves at work," he said.

The News 4 investigation covered 17 week days during June, July, August and September. For much of the summer, schools were not in session, but Denver's "Truancy Reduction Team" of six officers works year-round and should have plenty to do during the summer, according to Jerry Wartgow, the DPS superintendent.

"These officers are supposed to be working with individual students on referral from social workers," he said. "They should have a full plate or we shouldn't have them employed during the summer."

DPS truant officers earn annual salaries in the mid-$30,000 range. The annual budget for the truancy reduction team is $227,029, coming from the DPS general fund.

News 4 cameras videotaped truant officers starting their workday picking up their DPS vehicles between 7 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., then driving to Sloans Lake and exercising for one to two hours. DPS administrators say the officers are allowed to substitute their lunch and break time and use it for an hour of exercise instead.

But News 4 routinely found the truant officers exercising, then stopping for an hour break at a nearby restaurant. In many cases, log sheets filled out by the officers omitted the time spent in restaurants or contained no details of what they did all day long.

[lengthy examples deleted]

For Halloween
 

I found out that Vos and Mordall went on tour together, but I didn't learn that until after the tour ended.

I had heard it through Jay Mohr, who was pushing something or other on one of the local morning drive radio shows. The best part is that Jay made it clear that he thinks that Dat Phan was an overrated one-trick pony.

trick or treat
 

Just had the first group show up. Whoo hoo!

For Halloween
 

What the fuck?
How dare he say that after all that money I paid him to win that fucking stupid game that wasn't really a game?
I'm gonna kick his ass!

Mordall was funny, but Vos sucked. I'll bet it was a good show though.

For Halloween
 

It's what she does. It's quite soothing once you get used to it. And you sure turned quickly once she mentioned the h-word.

For Halloween
 

Witty and whimsical.

For Halloween
 

You suck.

For Halloween
 

Your avatar makes me think of the time I was a pirate for Halloween. Not a sexy pirate, I was only 4 or 5 or so, but a very cute pirate with pig tails, an eye patch, burnt cork smeared on my face and a pillow case full of goodies. I ate lots of candy corn that night. It later ended up in the toilet bowl, looking very similar to the substance that your pumpkin is expelling. Haven't been able to eat candy corn to this day.



Edited to add avatar

For Halloween
 

Mordall rocked. Vos was too mellow for what I expected, but I guess that was something that he learned -- play to the audience, which is why Dat Phan won, IMHO.

Jay kept making cracks about his (Jay's Asian mother).

Pay ... Or the market will
 

By me to a GP on the old board.


-------

[lawbuzz recruiting 2L corporate star]

lawbuzz: It's widely known that my firm pays hourly -- er, performance -- based boni. Short of that what do we got to talk about?

Superstar 2L: Boni. Fair boni. And that ain't whatever you say it is; fair boni is what the market'l bear. Now there are firms, mind you, there are firms in this city, who'll pay a lot more'n a boni of zero to corporate juniors during recessions.

[lawbuzz looks at him stonily.]

lawbuzz: What're you after?

Superstar 2L: Give you an idea, a corporate 1st year first year fetched 17, 18 thousand boni last year at firms in the market for top tier talent. And them's 2002 dollars. I'm sayin, fair boni. For a commitment to boni that are market for top tier firms, I'll join up, reject offers from the firms you purport to be your peers-

[Quick as a flash the heretofore languid Superstar 2L bolts forward,
his fist stopped an inch short of lawbuzz's nose.]

[His index finger and thumb are pinched together-holding
the leg of a struggling fly that he has just plucked from the
air.]

Superstar 2L: ... and hires at your purported peer firms . . .

[Superstar 2L flicks the fly away.]

... I'll kick their butts.

[Superstar 2L sits back down.]

... No extra charge.

[lawbuzz stares grimly at Superstar 2L.]

lawbuzz: And if I don't pay?

Superstar 2L: Oh I'll get hired regardless. Cause if you
don't pay, the market will.

But We Already Knew This
 

College chicks dig their vibrators - http://www.dailynorthwestern.com/vne.../3fa0aebf4e39d :

"The most interesting aspect of the vibrator phenomenon is that women are so proud to display their vibrator of choice. There was a time not so long ago when just the word "masturbation" turned cheeks red. Every girl I talked to was excited to tell me all about her vibrator and why it was the best one out there. Be it the Rabbit, the Silver Bullet, the Pocket Rocket or some other cleverly-named toy, each apparently has its own special benefits."

For Halloween
 

You swallow.