Dead Horse
 

I still don't think it was appropriate - in fact I think the homily says the opposite of what he wanted it to. If he was saying "I'm pretty fucked up myself in my own special non-gay way so I'm going to focus on how best I can live my own life and stop interfering in the lives of people who aren't so straight" then it would have been appropriate.

Metrosexuality, again
 

Frank Deford also used it today to refer to David Beckham in an article on Yahoo Sports. I think the party's officially over now.

str(not that Mr. Deford isn't a brilliant writer, but bitch, PLEASE)8

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Truth Takes a Holiday)
 

Let me confirm this: DtB actually looks IRL exactly like her avatar. A little-known fact is that the avatar is, in fact, a picture of her. I know b/c I took the picture. She was crossing the street to meet me at 21 for our customary Thursday three-martini lunch when I snapped the picture. She was in her full DtB swagger with the noblesse-oblige stride and the peasants-and-cosmetically-enhanced-be-damned look and I thought it would be just the thing to make you people insecure and boost my brother-in-laws sagging breast implant business. A breast-implant business whose sales are sagging is ironic is it not?
It's a guy thing. I wouldn't expect you to get it. But if a girl let's me touch them, then as far as I'm concerned, they are real enough.

Reality Roundup
 

While technically correct, the uncensored videotape of Blind Date outtakes showed them too - while still on the guy, who was getting a massage by his "date" back at his appartment. He put the moves on her and she said something along the lines of "No way, not with the skidmarks on your undershorts," while the camera focused in and they put an arrow on the screen to help the visually impaired. It was hilarious, as was the rest of the videotape, which also had a goodly portion of artifically enhanced women undressing on it.

As for QE, I think it is going to grow old pretty fast. How many times can they make the same jokes?

BB4 - Best season yet, so far. The X-Factor has made the house much more outrightly acrimonious and the scheming far more open. I disagree with PP that David is boring. The killing of Alison's stuffed rabbit every night in a different way a la Kenny from South Park was brilliantly funny. Jee may be the stupidest contestant ever, not because he is obviously over-the-top dumb (like Scott was), but because he thinks he is Machiavellian, when he is simply clueless. The producers, however, will not be happy if Allison is evicted because they are losing all their attractive women.

Paradise Hotel - I want to punch Toni in the face. The show remains stupid, unclear on the concept, and yet I watch waiting, waiting for someone to punch Toni in the face. Put Sunny Garcia in the hotel - he'll punch her.

Boarding House North Shore - it ended, but I'm still having sexual fantasies about Holly.

Last Comic Standing - Agreed that all of the comics were not at their best last night, which I attribute less to rust than to 5 minutes not being the normal length of a set. They can't get a rhythm, use running jokes, establish a personality or theme, etc. I am assuming the two hour finale on Friday will be all recap and tease - don't watch until the last 15 minutes.

Road Rules - Donell is a punk, a liability, and I want him off my TV. Please, please, kick him off and not Cara.

Boy Meets Boy - haven't watched.

All the meet the parents, marry my dad, kiddies singing, or trying to join a band shows - too painful to watch.

For Love or Money 2 - bad rehash and the producers know it, that's why they are changing it up and offering the men cash to leave, which one apparently takes.

Cupid - surprisingly watchable. The "catch" seems fairly cool and likable, if a bit too skinny and possessing an unfortunate resemblance to Courtney Cox, and her bitch friends can be hilarious. I am curious whether the bag on the doofuses approach of the first 3 shows will translate well into watching actual dates with the final 10 guys and caring enough to vote. Well, I know I won't vote (since I haven't for American Idol or Last Comic), but whether I would care enough to bet (which I have done on American Idol.

Amazing Race - still the only show I would go on. The race this year has been very good, but the remaining personalities are mostly boring. It is interesting that, as much as CBS hypes it, they have not put up an application for AR5. Does this mean it is dead? Are they going to do some sort of "celebrity" race (a sure sign of death - ask Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire or The Mole)?

Your correspondent on the couch,
LessinSF

Wow, first post. Interesting place to jump in I guess. I have been told by some of the most esteemed members of the panel (while taking my hard earned virtual money in poker) that if I mention that notcasesensitive is "friendly" towards me no one will mess with me. True?

That being said, she did misappropriate my Wade=Chris Isaak comment from last night. So much for that Harvard admission letter.

Metrosexuality, again
 

May I humbly remind the board that my modest proposal for a hip, insider replacement term, "wax fruit," remains very available?

I think that you misinterpreted their statements. Messing with you and your ilk (the newbies) is really all these people have in their lives. Well, that and reality tv.

Edited to add the obvious - picking on each other.

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

Quite correct. However, you may also want to add the bastard step-brother of both of them for completeness sake, "Mothafucka, please".

sf

Dead Horse
 

I think you're focusing on the idiocy implied in his totally contradictory message, rather than how the saying fit into what he thought he was close to trying to maybe say. He wants to sound like a charitable christian type, calmly explaining that "we don't hate anyone", and that "we all understand that none of us is perfect, and so we aren't gonna bash the fags".

And then, a totally separate thought on gays and marriage comes out that contradicts what he just said.

I agree with you that statements about basic goodness and right and love totally contradict the Old Testament ethic he's pushing - but, I still think the statement fits the way he wanted it to fit.

Dead Horse
 

Geez, I thought it was short for Gee Whiz - but I'll leave it up to you sailor types.

Dead Horse
 

Well, yes, but I think in that "welcome those with good hearts" means that we should endeavor, as much as possible, to accept homosexuals who are otherwise morally perfect (i.e., believe in Bush's God, low taxes, no welfare, mandatory Pledge of Allegiance at all schools, workplaces and soccer fields (for the soccer moms) but not in church because God comes first) -- after all, after they are exposed more to our heterosexual world, they may realize the error of their ways and give up homosexuality.

Those with good hearts also includes people who are really, really uncomfortable with their homosexuality and are trying to date women (I'm doubting lesbians are nearly as disturbing).

So, like, what is the deal with Ween?
 

You are already insufferable. Do yourself a favor. Cut your losses and forget you ever heard about this site.

Anyway, about Ween . . . I just cannot get my mind around this group. I have a couple of albums and now have seen them three times live, and still cannot figure out who their fan base is. They are playing two sold out shows in Minneapolis, and there was a near riot of ticket seekers last night. But who are these people? Who decides that they are super into a band that writes songs about pussy licking and spinal meningitis, a whole CD of country music covers, and ballad about a mollusk. I mean, there seem to be some hippies, some alternative types, lots of just average looking folk, all going crazy to lyrics like:

"Why they wanna see my spine mommy?
Why they wanna see my spine?
It's gonna hurt again mommy
Much worse than last time
Am I gonna see God, mommy?
Am I gonna die?
It really hurts mommy!
Am I gonna die?"

So, like, what is the deal? Any Ween fans out there?

Dead Horse
 

That would only have been appropriate if he weren't also trying to pass a law that interferes with the not-so-straight. Which is maybe what you are getting at, but that's such a stretch (that he and his buddies would do that) I can't conceptualize it.

Log Eye for the Straight Guy
 

You are attempting to impose reason where there is none.

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Truth Takes a Holiday)
 

Aside from those sweaters, so carefully tied around your neck, I'd agree with you 100%, baby.

TM

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Truth Takes a Holiday)
 

Are you trying to wriggle your way into a threesome with e/o and dtb?

Dead Horse
 

That was what I was getting at - that it wasn't appropriate. PAY ATTENTION.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

I am not really following this too closely, but I frequently go without underwear and certainly never wear anything but a smile under my kilt.

FWIW, fyi, I'm very tiddied up down there too, and no skidmarks, at least none that I know of, nttawwt.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Part of me wants to know what being "tiddied up down there" consists of.

But, the smarter part is dragging that other part away, whacking it on its head and screaming DON'T ASK! JUST DON'T ASK!!. . . .

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Think of his down there as the Persian cat's nose . . .

QUEER EYE
 

Okay, I haven't seen this tivo'd episode yet, so I didn't read your post, but I'm sure I'll agree.

WWLD's criticism noted, I think this show is the best reality show on tv. They've got it all covered. Significant before time. Makeover of man, wardrobe, crib, life, etc. Significant after time. And bitchy, catty analysis of what the person does with their work. The five guys couldn't be better (okay, four of them couldn't be -- I still haven't figured out why they need the culture guy. Seems like food guy could cover this). They don't try to make over the guy to be a Chelsea boy. They really attempt to improve him without changing the essence of who he is (okay, after writing that, I think I'm turning a little gay myself). Plus, they're funny.

All that said, a friend of mine (okay my wife's mostly) is going to be on. Her bf (at the time -- they have since broken up, but he still calls her, trying to get some) was chosen to be made over. Her name is Diana (pronounced DEE ANNA) and I'm sure she'll come off as pretty nice, because...well, she is. (I don't like the way she talks though. She tends to drag words out and let them linger too long. Just say it and be done with it. I hate that sing songy, whiny shit.)

She told me that it was weird to have the cameras follow you around all the time and she was really worried about what they were going to say about her (after seeing the Trenton hooker episode), but was told they liked her.

He got hooked up because he's a cameraman or something and knew someone associated with the show (which I guess is how they get their subjects -- don't think you can apply).

Anyway, I'll be interested to hear your reviews once her show airs.

TM

So, like, what is the deal with Ween?
 

:hi:


His lung is fucked up.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Good lord, he's got the beginning of a pussy?

The Scottish Loveknot
 

Braveheart meets Deepthroat in secret Loch Ness porn film


Sex stars brave murky weather and midges to shoot the Highlands’ first adult movie
By Brian Pendreigh


WE’VE had Highlander, Braveheart, Brigadoon and now we’re getting our own version of Deep Throat. Yes, Scotland can lay cinematic claim to its own porn film – The Scottish Loveknot.

The movie is the latest feature -length video from Private, one of the world’s leading hardcore porn comp anies. The film was shot secretly in Scotland, but like most Hollywood takes on life in the Highlands, the main stars aren’t Scots themselves.

Where Australian New Yorker Mel Gibson took the lead in Braveheart, Frenchman Christopher Lambert starred in Highlander and Northern Ireland’s Liam Neeson played Rob Roy, the starring roles in The Scottish Loveknot go to three Hungarian porn starlets called Ginger, Vanda and Violet and a Canadian named Dan Stallion. Englishman Steve Hooper has been cast as the male star of The Scottish Loveknot.

Other starring roles go to the Australian porn star and polit ical activist Jodie Moore – previously seen in such classics as Nasty Nymphos 33 – who plays the Lady Of The Loch, and Jamie Woods, a porn starlet from Nottingham. The producers, however, claim the director is Scottish and the movie is his debut. He’s not keen to go public just yet and is concealing his identity behind the “artistic name” Gazzman.

The Scottish Loveknot is one of the most expensive porn films ever made. It cost a fraction of a mainstream Hollywood movie, but at £200,000 is an astronomical sum for a porn movie.

Unsurprisingly, it will not be premiering at the Edinburgh Film Festival, but it will figure at Edinburgh’s new Festival Erotique next month.

“One of the key features of Private’s movies is the use of new, exotic locations,” said Private Media Group press officer Richard Sharp. “We’ve never shot in Scotland before and so the proposal met with great enthusiasm offering a backdrop and aesthetic that has proved to be incredibly popular in mainstream cinema.”

The movie boasts production values more usually associated with Hollywood than the sort of thing you might find in a sex shop in Soho. The “collector’s edition” DVD includes a documentary of the making of the film.

“The only thing more spectacular than the costumes was what lies under them,” says Private’s internet site. The Private Media Group is a big international company, with headquarters in Barcelona and a public listing on the US Nasdaq financial market. It’s famed for its glitzy events at the Cannes Film Festival.

Sharp said: “Private has drawn inspiration from the characters of legend and visually from the classic image of the Highlands, which has been the focus of so many celebrated films. There is immortality, there is the warrior figure, the beautiful heroine. Private has created an erotic piece around a classic storyline.”

In the movie, the hero Robert Mhor regards a defeated army’s womenfolk as spoils of war, but when it comes to true love, his heart belongs to the Lady Of The Loch. Such is their passion, that the fates themselves become jealous and lead Robert into an ambush.

Before dying in his lover’s arms, he promises he will find a way to return to her, no matter how long it takes. So, borrowing freely from the plot of Brigadoon, the Lady Of The Loch returns to life once every 100 years and seeks out the most prodigious lovers of the time, in the hope of finding the reincarnation of Robert.

The actors, accustomed to performing in sunny Mediterranean conditions, had to contend with typical Scottish weather. “We had to deal with rain and mud and downpours in the middle of some of the shoots,” said production supervisor Dave Densen.

They shot the whole film on location last summer without contacting either Scottish Screen or Scottish Highlands and Islands Film Commission. “They probably wouldn’t want to go through official channels,” said Highlands film officer Trish Shorthouse. “I would be interested to know their locations and how they got permission.”

But the film-makers will say only that it was in the Loch Ness area. “It was all shot on a private estate, the exact location of which is a trade secret,” said Sharp.

Two of Scotland’s most picturesque castles appear in scenes without any actors – Urquhart Castle, on the shore of the loch, and Eilean Donan, which previously appeared in Highlander, James Bond and Bollywood movies.

Far from being outraged by the film, local reaction seems muted. Donald Skinner, owner of the Loch Ness Lodge Hotel, said: “There’s no such thing as bad publicity in this game. If we get on CNN with this, good and well. If we get naked women on Loch Ness-side, well and good.”

While thousands have flocked to see the Harry Potter locations, Trish Shorthouse said her office had received no inquiries from the public about The Scottish Loveknot.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

He prefer to call it his Wax Fruit.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

That was bad. So very bad. Even for you. Shame on you.

sf

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Exactly. A non-working vagina. Just like Carson.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

It's not functional, as previously discussed. You do realize he's the blond fashion guy on QESG?

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

If you think I'm going to okay this for you, you're crazy, wackadoo, loony, loopy, etc. (I can't even think of the right word to use for you since you're already all of the above, but if you can, that's what you are). You'll get yourself killed. And I don't want you saying, "But Thurgreed said I could," right before you do.

TM

I Love Cola Turka
 

Chevy Chase pimps Turkish cola. I guess that AFLAC ad just did not pay the bills.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Huh? That's like saying that getting a brazilian decreases sensitivity. If the stuff is hanging free, there should be more sensitivity, right? I am pretty sure that most of the obard would agree that I am mainly correct on this.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

I thought this was called a Change Agent.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Penske's a trading-places blond designer on TV? Who shaves his . . .um, . . cat?

I'm so confused.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Sidd just hasn't figured out that you need to take the boxers off before sex.

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

Today's stubborn generation ignores that sweet promise in exchange for vanity and comfort. Men are left to choose between boxers and briefs.

Some gamble their salvation on the garment that covers the most skin--the boxer. But only a hedonist could endure the free-swinging movement that boxers allow! God's verdict is clear: You must wear "Tighty-Whities."

The Bible Clearly States you are forbidden to "go commando" or "free-style." That's a sin! And any woman who suggests you wear a thong or g-string is a strumpet and a whore! God has spoken.

No comment.

strumpet and whore

I swear to you this site is called Boxers or Briefs - what would Jesus do?

QUEER EYE
 

Well allrighty. He is my generic review of the show. I thought this show would suck, but it does not. I thought it was a show for the Will and Grace crowd (i.e. hetero women who like makeover shows and looking at pretty boys who they can never have and self-hating gays who like to watch flaming members of their community that are secretly ashamed of). I am no hetero woman or self-hating gay but I like this show.* The hooker-from Trenton show was funny, and so are most of the other comments. Sometimes the guy is so clueless that he doesn't realize that they are goofing on him. For example: "which tie would go with this?" [picks tie] "that's right! Was that a guess?" I think the makeovers are more impressive than they otherwise would be because the guys they pick are so pathetic. For example, they found the one guy who never figured out that 2 distinct smaller eyebrows are better than one uber-brow. Insert the obligatory salon-waxing scene and watch hilarity ensue. It is like a recipe for funniness, except that it doesn't involve measuring spoons. How can you go wrong with that?



*Things that I am also not:
1) a lesbian woman
2) a self-hating heterosexual
3) a non self-hating gay
4) a chinese
5) a phlebotomist

Punk'd
 

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

LEBANON, Ind. — The parents who thought their daughter was alive 17 years after her abduction have fallen prey to a cruel hoax. The woman who called them and said she was their little girl was lying, police said Wednesday.


"We have new information in the Shannon Sherrill abduction and it has been determined to be false," 1st Sgt. Dave Bursten of the Indiana State Police said at a press conference.

"The woman who contact Dorothy Sherrill claiming to be Shannon Marie Sherrill was actually the perpatrator of a cruel hoax.”

The caller was identified as Donna L. Walker, 35, of Topeka, Kan., but an investigation has determined she was not Sherrill, Bursten said. Her whereabouts were not known on Wednesday, he said.

Police have issued a warrant for Walker's arrest, charging her with identity deception and false reporting.

Only days ago, a woman contacted the girl's parents and said she might be their daughter.

The 12th Step, by Stuart Smally
 

POTW.

TM

I am going to call this post "Testing Francis"
 

I will agree that you are somewhere slightly less than 100% correct on that. Let's call it 98%.

Oh, and, bilmore, the remove the boxers comment was good. Maybe paigow is also mainly correct that people seem funnier today than usual.

Other than [insert name of poster you dislike here].

Punk'd
 

I guess it's better than Beirut, Indiana...