I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

First I can't talk about fat chicks. Now I can't talk about my dick.

This is worse than Findlaw/Inquisition/Westlaw.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

They condemn what they do not understand.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Movi...eut/index.html

To all the ATHF fans out there
 

Who are you, Mike Damone: "The charisma of Rick Neilsen. The magnetism of Robin Zander. Here, look at the tickets. . . . The dream police, bah nah nah nah nah nah na"

NYTimes had an article about scalpers losing their shirts on the Boss concerts at the meadowlands. 10 shows will do that to you. free tickets for anyone showing up, though.


edited to add a "nah" for the Cheap Trick timmy below

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

A documentary on Gator is slated for release at Sundance this year.

http://www.stokedmovie.com/site/index.html

Old school is in.

http://www.juicemagazine.com/

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Again, this review notes that both Ben and Jen are touted as among the sexiest people in the world. This I simply don't get. I do not break out in a rash when forced to gaze upon either of them, but they are no where near the sexiest people in the world (what a weird concept anyway since it is so subjective).

Other people who are considered sexy that I simply do not find sexy or do not consider as sexy as others apparently do (feel free to expand the list):

1. Gwyneth Paltrow (not all that)
2. Sarah Jessica Parker (Bitch please)
3. Tom Cruise (NAT)
4. JFK, Jr. (NAT)
5. Carolyn Bessett Horseface Kennedy (BP)
6. Hugh Grant (BP)
7. *NSYNC except for Justin (BP)

You know who I have a crush on (and who is roughly my age, though he is now married) is Nick Lachey. I bet he would look good in (and out) of Magic Underpants. Plus, I can guarantee that I am better/more fun in the sack than Jessica.

Johnny Depp should also get this memo. And then hit the showers to get ready for my arrival.

To all the ATHF fans out there
 

Just needs an ultra-thin piano keyboard tie...

"Got any Blue Oyster Cult??"

Edited to add, as resident Fast Times timmy: Burger, you need one more "nah" in the Dream Police...

And no, Phoebe Cates never looked better...

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

You must not have seen his Punk'd. He's a Punk.

What the hell boy band is he from anyways?

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Not only is the poster disturbing and distorted for how much her butt has been dehanced, but her breasts seem to come out of her shoulders. Unless she is wearing a major push-up bra, those also aren't her breasts.

And A/K, I agree with your assessment that they're not that sexy. At one point i thought Ben Affleck was cute (he may even have been on the laminated list a few years ago), but now he's just ... not.

C(I'll spend my $8 on renting a movie and getting a pizza delivered)deuced

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

"FEAR does not exist...in this dojo!"*

*Does anyone else think that Lachey looks like the Kobra Kai dojo boss in Karate Kid I & II?

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I saw the Punk'd. What would you have done in his shoes?

He is from 98 degrees. I forgive him for this, however, because he is F-I-N-E. Ever since Angelina became a mom I have needed a more ABBA-appropriate crush and Nick is it. For today.

Also, I got a new secretary who brightens my day. She's moving up the list and may make the top five by the end of the week. We'll see how she does on casual Friday and go from there.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Right on sista. Never understood why SJP is considered sexy. Scary, yes. Sexy, no.

I'd add Lara Flynn Boyle (current version) and Calista Flockhart.

To all the ATHF fans out there
 

Fixed, and . . .

for fans of Alias, did anyone catch the Fast Times homage in one of this year's episodes, with (the once-again available) Jennifer Garner in the Phoebe Cates role? (Although, no, no one played the Brad/Judge Rheinhold part)

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Disagree on Gwyneth, but otherwise I'm with ya'. Add to the list Cameron Diaz and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

As to Johnny Depp, I'd switch teams for that, except that Mrs. Finch would likely kill me in a jealous rage. Anyone know if he'd like a MFM?

Sidd(or MFFM, since presumably his wife is tres chaude)Finch

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

8. Jennifer Garner. She's cute, she'd get hit on all the time at bars, but she is not up to snuff in the movie star world of what is sexy. Her face is actually boring. But SJP takes the cake -- she makes me shudder in revulsion.

BTW, it's me
 

If you think you know me, you do. Hi!!! Long time no "see."

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

I hope you were rolling your eyes when you typed this.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

When I first laid eyes on Gwyneth Paltrow, my boyfriend at the time and I both agreed that she was not all that. In fact, his words were "what is Brad Pitt doing with that?" Then it was weird. All of a sudden she seemed a lot prettier. Did anyone else experience this? These days I think she is quite pretty, but not stunning.

The obvious choice (I think) for not as sexy as the media would have you believe is Julia Roberts. I do not find her very sexy. I would like to have her big toothy grin because I have a small mouth, but that is it. (I think I would look weird with a big toothy grin, so it is actually good aesthetically that I did not get one. Might help in the bj department though. (Not the toothy part)).

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

My sister was recently vacationing in Mykonos, and she hung out in one of the gay bars there pretty much every night for two weeks. One of the regulars was asking her about the american legal system and how can someone sue for defamation if the allegations are true? According to pretty much everyone there, Mr. Cruise shows up on the island approximately every three months, parties at this particular club every night, and every night leaves with a different guy.

Other regulars according to her sources (drunken gay men, so take with gallons of salt): Madonna, Mel Gibson. Mel apparently shows up with his whole family, and he is reportedly straight but gay friendly.

BTW, it's me
 

Still tcb in the office?

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

Ironically, I did so sardonically.

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

Good. Becuase you can get some good mall punk clothing here. Kind of "larger" Hot Topic.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I find this hard to believe after the NYT Sunday magazine article a few months back. He's a traditional Catholic (pre Vatican II), and thus unlikely to be "gay friendly." (His father, btw, is a vituperative SOB who denies the Holocaust.)

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

THANK YOU! And please add to that list Selma Hyak. I just don't see what people see in her.

BTW, it's me
 

It's nice to be recognized (to be somewhere "where they always know your name... and they're always glad you came...").

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I think Selma is quite hot. However Penelope Cruz is definitely on my not list. Particularly after seeing her in Blow.

BTW, it's me
 

"especially if you describe it to them in detail . . ."

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

"Blow" was the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film "The Neverending Story."

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I know Lionel Hutz. Lionel Hutz is a friend of mine. You, sir are no Lionel Hutz.

And put your pants back on.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Motion to Dismiss granted because Penelope Cruz' acting in that movie really blew...

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Penelope Cruz can't act, but she's reasonably attractive, so I wouldn't put her on the NOT list.

SJP has to be #1 on the NOT list for about 10 years in a row.

I have to disagree about Jennifer Garner and Catherine Zeta Jones. If I had a laminated list they'd be on it no doubt.

Some more additions:

Amanda Peet
Paris Hilton, if pseudo celebs count
Drew Barrymore

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

There is something about the juxtaposition of those forbidden subjects that I find oddly amusing.

BTW, it's me
 

Boo hiss. I never described the details. Implements, yes. Details of "transactions," if you will, no.

Portia de Rossi
 

As long as we're talking hot/not hot, I heard today that the very hot Portia de Rossi is a lesbian! I had no idea, but I am kind of glad to hear it. There aren't enough lipstick lesbian poster children -- and if you want a poster child, you could do a lot worse than her.

BTW, it's me
 

"Implements" didn't scan well, and we could quibble over whether time and place are details, but nah. Welcome back!

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Funnyman Bob Hope died this week aged 100, and the New York Times informed its readers of the sad event by running out an obituary written by Vincent Canby -- a veteran Times critic who died himself in 2000.

Canby, who died aged 76 in October 2000, was a long time entertainment writer for the Times.

"The obituary was written by Mr. Canby several years ago and his byline was on it," Times spokesman Toby Usnik said on Tuesday, adding that Canby's own demise was noted when the Times posted the obituary on its Web site.

Portia de Rossi
 

I have heard about enough local Portia sightings here in LA that contain "and she was all over this hot chick" to confirm. As someone who has dated a Portia lookalike in the past, I feel that Portia's sexual orientation is a Bad Thing for the male population of America. There IS something wrong with that, dang blast it.

Of course, she may well be bi, in which case, she should really invite me over to join in the fun.

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

Every major news and entertainment publication has had Bob Hobe tribute material ready to go for at least 10 years. A relative who used to write for Newsweek's arts section confirmed that they've had theirs ready to go for years, in case he died on a Sunday or Monday (they print Monday). LA Times had a huge amount of material the day after he died. I suspect English and Canadian papers had the same sort of deal going with respect to the beloved Queen Mum.

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

Didn't the New Yorker run an obituary of Sinatra before he died?

Portia de Rossi
 

Even if she's not, I wouldn't mind just watching.

MILF
 

http://images.mp3.com/rollingstone/c...s/00328939.jpg

F that "mom" stuff. She is still smokin'

not7yS