MILF
 

Sorry, Slave, but the celeb rumor mill currently places her with Olivier Martinez, the guy who fucked Diane Lane's brains out in "Unfaithful." Meanwhile, Martinez's present (and future?) squeeze, Kylie Minogue, is said to be putting up a fight to keep her man. I guess she can't get him out of her head.

Once Jolie grows tired of this latest dalliance, we'll keep you posted on future movements of the Typhoid Mary of Hepatitis B.

(Missed my calling as a tabloid gossip columnist.)

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

And they have one for just about every major figure. they update them every so often, as necessary. All the networks also have options on hotel roofs in Rome overlooking the Vatican, so they ahve the backdrop for when JPII kicks off.

MILFs
 

So...

behind door #1 we have Jolie with Hep B; and

behind door #2 we have Pamela Anderson with Hep C

not7y(Damn the torpedoes and pass the penicillin)S

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

I thought he died last year, no?

MILFs
 

To be perfectly clear, I have no direct evidence that the skank in question has contracted Hep B or any other loathsome communicable disease. But any woman, however lithe and toothsome she may be, cannot come away unscathed from having sex with an Arkansan named Billy Bob, or obtaining tattoos in Thailand, or accessorizing with human blood. I believe this is known by our brethren in the other professions (both of them) as the Hep B Triumvirate.

But I am sure she is under the best possible medical care that divorce settlements can buy. Choose door #1 with confidence.

BTW, it's me
 

Thrilled you came.

And welcome home.

QE (no significant spoilers)
 

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch

The suggestion that the GF's a working girl was good. One of Carson's nicer conceits is pretending to be as catty the female FB'ers who can't resist snarking at pix of a hottie or at newbie posters that cheffie reports to have the bod of a lingerie model.

Originally posted by ltl/fb

fringie's definitely slipping.

why
 

Do some hotels have beds that are so high off the floor. The bed in my room comes up to about my waist. How in the hell am I supposed to climb into the damn thing to go to sleep?

They should have short people rooms at this place.


And it has a pink canopy. Why does my bed have a pink canopy? I feel like I should be on a honeymoon or something.

Malvern, PA is strange.

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

Effectively, yes.

Celebrity death prediction: next up, Ronald Reagan.

MILFs
 

Gee, Mister Peabody, what are the other two professions?*

Apropos of nothing, Billy Bob may be a strange individual, but that dude can act. I just saw that bank robbery movie on cable again (yeah yeah yeah -- not his best work, but what can I say? Oh, that's right: "Cate Blanchett." So there.).

*Mild tweaking only -- it seems to me that Atticus is still in his "more amusing than pedantic" mode.

why
 

I think I'm now always going to picture you as Lily Tomlin dressed in a little-girl dress and sitting in a huge rocker.

(See SNL)

Portia de Rossi
 

Portia is not as hot as her (rumored) ex-gf, Guinevere Turner (a lesbian icon, really):

http://www.saunalahti.fi/mjlaakso/guinturner3.jpg

why
 

Phone books.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

What is NAT? What are magic underpants?

Carolyn Bessette Kennedy was amongst the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I could just stare at her image for hours. THere were some great shots of her in the Natl Enquirer recently, apparently of her coked out and partying, but they show her as the college kid she was at BU. And if you ever saw her on the cover of THe Girls of BU, you might feel differently. Whether she was white corn blond or her natural dirty blond, she was amazing looking. Case of a big nose that made someone absolutely striking. And if you ever saw her in person, you would be so stunned by her head spinning beauty that it would take you of your reality for a moment. I have had this happen once in my life and it was when I met Carolyn. I only wish that I could approximate her elegance and beauty. I cannot think of anyone else's who I would rather replicate.

But then again you find Justin, Bitch, Please, TImberlake attractive. He might be the one person who outdoes Ben Affleck in the "what? he is sexy? Can I have some of what you are smoking" category.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Yes. According to my friend's gay cousin from LA.

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

I did not know Canby died. I thought he switched to reviewing theater.

Portia de Rossi
 

Portia married Ringo Starr's (daughter? stepdaughter?) Natasha something. Musician, reasonably attractive.

The King
 

Sam Phillips, the guy who "discovered" Elvis, died of respiratory failure.

"As proprietor of a tiny hand-built recording studio at 706 Union Ave. in Memphis, Phillips brought to the world a stunning array of musical stars -- Presley, Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Charlie Rich and Ike Turner -- and a host of blues and R&B artists, including Howlin' Wolf, Rufus Thomas, and Little Milton." --- from the LA Times.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

I don't know if this goes on Politics or here, but I dont have the time to follow that board, so I will post here. Exactly where does the Pope get the jurisdiction to say who gets to marry who? For that matter, where does Bush?

Just wondering. Seems like its a victimless crime, if its a crime at all. I cant think of anything more none of your business, besides, maybe whether thrasher does anal.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

God and The People, respectively.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

You said it. :butt:

My bush is the only one welcome in my bedroom and in my marriage -- Mr. President can butt out.

I finally sort of made a funny so please don't anyone spoil it for me.

Hey, Kobe, No Means No
 

The Kobe Bryant case just got a little more interesting.

His victim was in the room for less than half an hour and admitted that there was some sexual contact, but that she did not consent to intercourse. She also reported that he forced her to submit.

Also, he gave several conflicting stories to police.

This raises some interesting questions:
(1) isn't it now accepted that forcing a woman to have sexual contact beyond whatever she agreed to have is rape (especially for a pro athlete who has to sit through classes in such things)?
(2) doesn't Kobe think he is innocent?
(3) doesn't his wife know he is guilty -- with the $4MM purple diamond to show for it?

MILFs
 

edited b/c I was wrong and Atticus was right.

Hey, Kobe, No Means No
 

1) yes, but didn't we already know it was going to be a question of what she consented to? (He apparently thinks she consented to more than she believes she consented to).

2) He's only "guilty of adultery" . . . so far.

3) Adultery gets you a $4m ring. Who knows what jail time gets you in terms of jewelry.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Uh, oh. Better take that to the politics board.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

So what happened? God pulled the Pope aside and said, hey, gays are going mainstream. First there was Will and Grace, then Vermont and Hawaii, then Queer as Folk. Then the Supreme Court said they could wed. Now Brave has gone totally gay and Queer Eye is a huge hit. It is time to bust out the whip and stop the insanity?

Thats not a good enough answer. We dont even know that God is anti gay. Where is the jurisdiction?

As for Bush, what happened to Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness? What is this The People bullshit?

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

I don't think that's what the Supreme court said.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Well, it seems to me that he has does authority (via God) to say who his priests join in holy matrimony. But it doesn't seem that he needs a campaign to do stop gay marriage. A memo reminding the flock that nothing's changed in the last 2000 years and we're still not marrying same sexes would probably do.

What the non-Catholics what the states do is their own business, and he should stay the fuck out of it.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

whoops. I meant that they could fuck.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

yes, what the hell are these?

Overrated:

Colin Farrell. Unibrow. What's the big deal?

Carson Daly. Looks like every frathole who ever hurled on a chick's shoes in college.

Drew Barrymore. Very cool that she's not a victim of Hollywood starvation syndrome, but a really weird face I think.

Sarah Jessica Parker. Was rightly a bony-faced nerd in Square Pegs; now is a bony-faced nerd with a waaaaay better wardrobe and make-up artist.

Underrated:

Ralph Fiennes. Someone get that guy a job again, please!

LFB. Incredibly beautiful when she's at a healthy weight; now looks fragile, ill and has a head way too big for her body.

The new carpenter on Trading Spaces. I never saw all the fuss about Ty except his torso was ripped.

The food guy on QESG. Not handsome exactly, but he is just the man. Atticus, he's not going to go for me anyhow so don't get defensive.

Dead Men Don't Have Writer's Block
 

Sam Phillips. R.I.P.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Musi....ap/index.html

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

One crazy pope . . .

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

From the context of AK's post, I'm guessing NAT=Not All That.

(Magic Underpants, though, remain something of a mystery.)

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

http://cafedna.icnetco.com/projects/...mainsplash.jpg

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I figured him out the other night. He is the missing link between the Ferris Bueller's Best Friend part and the Annoying Guy on Spin City part for the actor who played both those roles. He is the physical specimen for those lost years.

Anyone want to give me the actor's name? Also has he recovered from his near death experience?

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I thought magic underpants were the boxer-brief hybrids. Didn't someone call them that yesterday?

Parents just don't understand.
 

Its not so much that He is anti-gay, Dad's just a old-fashioned in His views, think Ward Cleaver, and my little escapades with the apostles still have Him a bit edgy.

He had always pictured me trading in my hammer for a stethescope and settling down with a nice jewish girl from bethlehem. Two story adobe hut. 4 kids. Mini donkey pulled cart. Vacation house in Eliat. The whole Jewish Dream thing.

Pimp Nation
 

Rappers get a clue, decide it's better to be a pimp than a gangsta.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Musi....ap/index.html

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

The Vermont Supreme Court. That is only one really that really matters anyway.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

That's Alan Ruck. Didn't know he had a near death experience. Last I heard of him was he sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Wrigley last year.