Bush to Wed Pope
 

The jurisdiction Bush is looking for appears to be a constitutional amendment; otherwise he's stuck with the full faith and credit clause causing all states to respect gay marriage permitted in any state. I find it comforting that the neanderthal's are reading the law as requiring them to put forward a constitutional amendment and not just ram something through the legislature to accomplish this.

And what the Pope is calling for is for all Catholics to oppose legislation permitting gay marriage. The official Roman Catholic position seems to be that sexual relations should only be between a man and a woman or a priest and a young boy. Forget jurisdiction, let's talk credibility!

G^3, sock about to be excommunicated

When Cameron Was In Egypt Land...
 

Alan Ruck is the fine actor that played Cameron Frye.

This Is a Bit Weird
 

From the latest "Savage Love":

I was hoping you could provide some insight as to whether my behavior is, for lack of a better word, normal. At work I can clearly see who is going in and out of the restroom. When I go in there and no one is around, I wipe the hairs off the urinal. If my "distraction stud" enters and leaves the restroom after I wipe down the urinal, I go in, lock the door, and sometimes find two or three of his pubic hairs. I collect his pubic hairs and take them home and sterilize them. I store them in a plastic sandwich bag, which I bring out when I masturbate. Imagining that I have just orally serviced him, I place his pubic hairs in my mouth and let them rest on my tongue. Then I climax. Is this healthy? Should I stop behaving this way? —Sick in Nashville

Austrian Birdman
 

This guy , who glided across the English Channel, gets my vote for the deck move of the year so far.

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

Cut your losses and go talk to fat chicks about your dick.

TM

I call for a moratorium on discussion of the penises of the following posters:
 

Sidd's going hoggin'...


I respect that.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Here's the story.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,9413,00.html

A month in the hospital seems pretty bad at least, if not near death. I guess he must be better now. He always said he didn't feel well during Ferris Bueller...

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Marriage is and has always been an uneasy hybrid between civil and canon law. The fact that Christians recognize it as a sacrament (Catholic) or as sacramental (mainline Protestant) gives them some feeling of ownership over the civil aspect.

As for whether God hates gays, I'd like to say I know he doesn't. But it's mostly incontrovertable that the people writing the books we now call scripture pretty much hated homosexual activity, as they reserved their strongest language for it. Moderns who think those books are something more significant than historical records are tied up in knots about this. The Episcopal Church is this very day being split in two over the calling of a gay bishop, and they have some of the most sophisticated tools to excuse themselves from troubling scripture points.

A college professor of mine pointed out that if tomorrow God wrote in mile-high letters in the sky, "Homosexuality is an abomination --- ix-nay on the uttlove-bay," the debate would still continue.

And with that, I will go back to being Not Pedantic.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Gwinky is right. The Supreme Court said they could sodomize. Which is pretty much precisely the opposite.

Sidd(me, bitter?)Finch

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Yeah. She's not sexy at all.

http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpap...yek02-1024.jpg

TM

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

You people are in-fucking-sane.

http://www.ciudadfutura.com/elcriticon/pecruz11.jpg

TM

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Thurgreed, I don't even care that your post fucked up the margins. Agree with the sentiment, and like the pic.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Considering how many people tried to suck my bank account empty when I was doing my wedding planning, you'd think the wedding industry would be slobbering over this opportunity to maximize their audience for little champagne-glass-shaped bubble-blowers, bags of eco-friendly birdseed to fling, extravagant clothes for bridal/groomal parties, and centerpieces.

Can't these greedy bastards start taking their Congresspersons out on fun'n'tawdry junkets to just bribe them into doing the right thing? Dammit, where are the lobbyists when we actually need them?

to Chocagoans...Chicagoites.....Chicagolanders
 

I need a referral for a trusts and estates lawyer.

Issue is putting together a will/living trust/estate plan for a married couple, 30s, one kid, two incomes etc etc.

This is a good friend of mine (yes, I actually have friends and even good ones as surprising as that may be) so no pikers. Or communists.

email me at penske_account@yahoo.com or my real email if you know it. NTTAWWT.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming of chicks and dicks and chicks with dicks and illegal music downloading.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

She looks fine there, but almost anyone can take a good picture. She has looked flat out bad in more than one movie that I have seen (Blow and some godawful one about a chef who makes magic concoctions or something). Her face suffers from SJP syndrome - not attractive at all from certain angles.

IMNSHO.


Edited to add that if I liked women (NTTAWWT), I would be all over most gorgeous latinas, and she, frankly, doesn't qualify.

You guys are crazy...she's effing hot.
 

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

You see, what I don't get is how anyone possibly thinks that we are equipped to decipher the word of God. The arrogance is absolutely astounding. I'm just guessing, but I think there's probably only been one or two sentient beings since the beginning of time that have communicated with God and I seriously doubt that they were concerned with stupid bigoted things like who should fuck whom (or whom should fuck who or whatever it is).


(they were concerned with finding the dauphin, or something like that)

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Personally, I think that's what will happen -- once the industry sees gay couples going to Canada to make it "official." Can you imagine how much two gay men in their 40s with good jobs would spend on their wedding?

I read somewhere the other day that one of the bridal mags is doing a feature soon on gay weddings. In the end, I suspect Mammon will trump God.

As he should, in a purpotedly secular, capitalist society.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Yes. And to the insanity of putting Penelope Cruz and Selma Hayek on the list, I'd add to the madness the comments about Carmeron Diaz and Catherine Zeta Jones.

However, I'd like to propose one Nicole Kidman as a candidate for being completely and totally overrated. Why it's true that she's improved enough since dumping Cruise so that she's now mediocre as an actress, I can't see what anyone sees in here.

And for the underrated list, Jodie Foster. And all the advantages of Johnny Depp from what I hear.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Haven't seen Blow, but she looked awesome in "Woman on Top", the movie about the chef. I would pick her over Selma anyday, and twice on Sunday--I am very horny on Sundays. Selma looks good now, but she looks like she would let herself go after a couple of kids. Penelope is an ex model and, a fortiori, "model thin". There is a much larger window for her to put on weight and still remain within the range of reasonableness on the hotness index. Also, Penelope has better DSLs, which go a long way in determining hotness. Selma is prettier face-wise though. If you could cutt off Selma Hayek's head and put it on Penelope Cruz's body then, except for the big scar on her neck, you would have one hot chick.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Her character in Blow was one step up from a coke-whore, so she wasn't supposed to look great, was she? Sort of like saying Ed Norton is ugly because man, did you see his face at the end of 25th Hour?

As to that other movie, which did suck, she was the one un-sucky part of it, you Philistine.

You guys are crazy...she's effing hot.
 

No question. She ruins it, however, by opening her mouth and attempting to act.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

So that is what happened to the wrap. Anyway, I agree (notwithstanding that dismal mess Frida), and that Penelope Cruz should not be on the list.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Look, once factors like broadband access start creeping in to fuckability, it's time for you to step away from the desktop and go get some sun.

Big Night
 

I caught this movie again last night. For some reason, it was on the Women's Entertainment network, which struck me as odd because it's about two brothers, but the brothers' business does fail so maybe women in particular find that entertaining.

But I digress.

What a wonderful movie. Seeing it the first time ramped my own cooking into a new level of overdrive, as anyone whose been to a Level 3 meal at my home can attest. (Level 1 = feed. Level 2 = impress. Level 3 = disable.)

The last scene, in particular, is stunning. No music, no dialog, no cuts in filming, just a long scene in which the brothers and the young man working for them share a breakfast after a long, difficult night. Total silence except for the ambient sounds of the kitchen, and the characters' interactions are all physical/visual.

All that, and Isabella Rossalini, too.

Don Bishop Magic Juan
 

Favorite paragraph from the previously linked article:

"Thanks largely to documentaries like HBO's "Pimps Up, Hos Down" and the Hughes brothers' "American Pimp," real and former pimps have become celebrities themselves, appearing in videos, even rapping on songs. None more so than Bishop Don Magic Juan, who's even currently in talks to star in his own reality series."

Damn. A reality show with King Pimp? That would be motherfucking appointment motherfucking TV. By the way, if y'all haven't seen "Hookers from the point" or "Girls from the point" or whatever it's called on HBO, you just haven't lived. Especially the part where the guy who's getting blown starts talking about how "I'm going to give you my pension." What the FUCK!?!?

In defense of Nicole Kidman, she's got an incredible face, long red hair, she's 5'10 with the best legs of her generation, and her accent is incredibly sexy. Russian tennis players aside, she's on top of my list, always.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

There were parts where she was supposed to look hot, but she looked universally not hot. I will give you all the body thing -- very good. Unfortunately, to make my list, the face is important too. And, hey, I hear she makes a great beard!

Big Night
 

Agree it's odd on several levels. Lucky for you, I suppose, that the regularly scheduled replay of "Beaches" was cancelled.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Here's a name to add to the NOT list: Jennifer Love (what the hell happened to my career) Hewitt.

I'd add Tara Reid too if I wasn't such a fan of blond 'n trashy party girls.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

I read somewhere that a lot of the sexual mores in the bible were really codes regarding property and misunderstandings about the science of procreation.

Adultry, brother-mother incest, and brother-sister incest were basically "don't fucking touch my property" prohibitions. They don't make as big of a deal about father-daughter incest, cuz she's your property until you sell her off to the guy with the most goats.

With regardi to procreation, I think--and another pedantic person can correct me if I'm totally off on this-- the understanding at the time was that semen contained the whole of nascent life -- the woman is just incubating space (and property). Hence the spilling of semen for any non-procreative purpose -- in coitus interruptus, male homosexual acts or male masturbation -- was considered tantamount to abortion or murder. Every sperm is sacred, and so forth. If the point of life was to have as many kids as possible, incentives to directing your sperm to the proper recepticle had to be developed.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Student: Rabbi, can a woman bear a child after her husband has knowledge of her anus?

Rabbi: Of course it is so. Where else would Pharisees come from?

[Klezmer music.]

[PEDANTIC]This thesis is supported by the fact that several schools of Jewish ethics permit birth control to be undertaken by a woman, but not by a man. A woman may do everything in her power to avoid pregnancy, so long as the man does everything in his power to impregnate the woman. Hilarity ensues![/PEDANTIC]

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

I am sure that is true. What bothers me is that people preaching humility (a good thing) have the nerve to slap the brand of "God" on some system specifically and only concerned with petty human needs and desires in order to foist it on the rest of us. My cat probably has more of a clue about what God's plan is than 99.99999% of people.

I realize I am saying obvious things probably better expressed by a 10-year old. Doesn't mean it still doesn't bug me. And I have heard the arguments that he doesn't exist so why not appropriate his name as a marketing tool. That doesn't really wash with me either.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

As long as His plan involves flaked Ocean Whitefish, shitting in a box, and Q-Tip worship.

Lance hates Plano
 

http://www.dallasobserver.com/issues...l/1/index.html

... but then anyone with any sense would! Right, E/O?

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Then the assberets who wrote the bibile were clearly closet cases. bc on this theory, a blowjob swallow would be tantamount to canniablaism and what man doesnt enjoy blowjobs and sploogin? None. So by denying themselves access to their desired sex partenrs, men, they could limit sex to the obligatory fuck the wife. ANd probably the young boys cruising around bethlehem back in the day.

Lance hates Plano
 

Sounds like Plano didn't love him much either.

Lance hates Plano
 

Yes, but in fairness, Plano is soulless and lacks the ability to love.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

I vehemently disagree. I would so give her the gook.


Edited to add that I've never written the above sentence down before. I hope no one thought this was a racial comment. "Gook", in this sentence, rhymes with "book" and means, well, "jism". I read it over again and alarms started going off in my head...

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

Cruz and Hayek are simply extraordinary.

S(Both could make dead men cum)D

Lance hates Plano
 

That's so sad. Perhaps an extended visit by Dr. Phil is in order?