Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Here's what people keep forgetting. The ruling was that laws regulating sodomy were impinging upon privacy. What people keep forgetting is that sodomy is not just for gay people. Sodomy includes oral contact with the opposite sex. Some people are freaking out that the ruling would lead to gay marriages. What? Don't forget the blow jobs. It's all about the blow jobs.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Somebody's got to put the "man" in "manger."

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

focus.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Will strip stories split Jen and Ben? (Please say the answer to this question is yes).
July 31 — Is “Bennifer” headed for splitsville? Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s very public relationship is very much on the rocks because of the bombshell allegations in the new issue of the National Enquirer that Ben was cavorting with strippers, says a source who knows the couple well. “IT’S NOT REALLY the strip club that’s the problem,” says the insider. “It’s all the sordid details about taking the girls back to (Christian Slater’s) house and what they did with them there. This relationship had issues before this article came out, and I think those details are going to make Jennifer snap. They may be making some public appearances together to promote their movie ‘Gigli’ but it’s going to be tough.”
The article also alleges that cocaine and booze were available at the party — although it never says they were used by Affleck, who had a highly-publicized stint in rehab.
Affleck’s lawyer has denied the story, calling it “totally false.”

I did not snort

Edited to add Reese Witherspoon to the NOT HOT list.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

That should be added to the standard marriage vows.

Lance hates Plano
 

What a great article. I saw a biography of him a few years ago on A&E: soul deadening was the nicest thing he said about Plano.

We're very happy that he claims Austin as his "hometown."

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Yet I read somewhere that JHo laughed the story off as just afunny little thing that boys do. Ha Ha.s SO apparently only havlf of this couple is admitting it happened. Interesting. That said, I dont think one can acutlaly hang with Christian Slater and Jennifer lopez. she is a sober control freak. and ben can neve blame his bad behavior on being drunk.

The ultimate not hot person is Kirsten Dunst. And I have to say, I dont see what is so super about supermodel Heidi Klum beside the hieght and body.

Gay marriage and the Pope
 

Speaking of marriage vows, we caught a few minutes of Race to the Altar.

They were doing a question and answer: "what does your fiance say must be in the prenup?"

There are going to be some very disappointed people out there: sex 4xs per week, calling his mother "mom," solo discretion on all major financial decisions, etc.

Even(no spoiler space because I cannot remember any of the results, except that one of the brides had a hyberbitch moment on stage)Odds

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Agreed. I would feel bad for her in her plainness if she wasn't making mehl-yuns and mehl-yuns of dollars.

MILF
 

Thank you Slave. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess lately I've only seen her with that Maddox dude and that is a MAJOR turnoff.

But What Does L. Ron Hubbard Think of Gay Marriage?
 

Hubbard, Easter Bunny, Fudd Agree Gays Should Marry
Fantasia (AP)
The Mad Hatter
In a stunning defeat for conservatives, Chief of the Church of Scientology L. Ron Hubbard, the Easter Bunny and Elmer Fudd have issued a joint statement in support of gay marriage.

"The most stunning thing about this statement is that Fudd, a reformed rabbit hunter, has joined forces with the Easter Bunny on this one" noted gay rights activist Waylon Smithers. "It really goes a long way to showing that we're all about breaking down barriers."

Conservative activist Aunt Jemima offered scathing derision. "Me and Uncle Jemima have raised seven honest straight children by following scripture. Sure, Ephrom Jemima went through a phase where he was into ballet and I once caught him wearing my blush, but through the power of prayer we cured him of his lustful ways."

Fudd's associate, Sam Greenbaum (aka Yosemite Sam) was shocked an apppalled the rugged Fudd, known for his outdoor interest, particularly hunting, would come down in favor of gay marriage. "God damn, ever since Elmer went on the wagon he's been light in his loafers. Ever since they gave him that seat on the Met's board he's been thinking of himself as one of them elites. He's reading his own press releases. I mean, just look at him. He's hanging out with Wellington [the Easter Bunny's actual name]. He thinks he came off the Mayflower now. In the old days we'd have shot that rabbit."

The Vatican's official spokesman, Bruce Klinefelter, registered disgust at statement with the usual pragmatic approach. "Look... its all a slippery slope. Leviticus clearly said that men should slaughter two pigs and three chickens weekly and sing three hymms to the moon on every Wednesday during which their wives menstruate. Over the years, we relaxed the slaughters, then we went to one hymm ever other month during spousal menstruation. Now there's no slaughtering and no hymm singing at all. If we allow the gays to marry, we're all going to hell in a handbasket... what's next? Sex with children? We need to protect the children..."

Hubbard was low key when asked for comment. "Well, I had stopped by to pick up a check from David Geffen, and David and I got to talking about the issue and that my church needed to come out with an official position. I did not want to do it alone. David and I went through his Rolodex and we decided the Easter Bunny and Fudd were the best choices. Fudd's position at the Met aloows him to bend the ear of some very prominent people and the Bunny, well hell, he's like a cultural institution. We really wanted to also get the Michelin Man involved, but he had prior commitments, and he didn't want to comment on American law, being he's French and sells most of his products here."

The Easter Bunny's only comment was an effort at fence building. " Look, Paul [Pope John Paul] and I go way back. I don't want to rub his rhubarb the wrong way, but he's dead wrong on this one. I saw him last Christmas at the Holy Ghost's houswarming party in Jackson Hole. I went up to him and said 'Paul, we gotta let these gay kids get their freak on.' Paul gave me a real rash of shit and I was shocked. I said 'Hey Paul, you got loads of gold and you always have the most killer threads, but if you lose the kids, man you're done." I don't know if he was drunk or whatever, but he just shuffled away mumbling and chewing his cigar. Its a real shame. Paul used to be a pretty groovy cat. Maybe our statement will help him get his groove back."

MILF
 

Is she even a MILF, considering the children were adopted?

For anyone who cares anymore
 

I agree with those, although the "ultimate" still goes to SJP. And I would add Darryl Hannah, regardless of whom she dated.

"The 'Gigli' Is Up"
 

NAT = not all that
Magic Underpants = hybrids

WRT Carolyn and Justin, just add them to the list of people we will never have to fight over. You get Carolyn, I get Justin. And all the other hot chicks he attracts. (See Britney, Allyssa, Cameron, Janet, etc.)

I have seen way too many pictures of Carolyn and heard of her grace and style and beauty. I have not, however, seen any evidence of any of these characteristics.

MILF
 

I think the potential "MILF" category is limited to moms of your friends or peers. A hot woman who happens to have a kid, and is 30 years younger than the person finding her hot, is not all that remarkable.

MILF
 

If that is the case, there are a bunch of websites that have it all wrong. Right, Less?

MILF
 

Websites being wrong? Shocker.

Certified royalty-free
 

So you're settling into your cruelty-free naugahyde chair, wearing your hemp shoes and sweatshop-certified tunic, and sipping your soy chai latte. You're a Responsible Consumer. You want to slip a CD into the player, but you ask yourself --- am I supporting the evil and litigious RIAA by listening to this music? Because I would rather tear my own ears off than do that.

Well, wonder no longer, folks. The RIAA Radar will tell you whether your favorite fringe artists really have indie cred by checking them against a list of dues-paying RIAA members.

Get the right answer, and bask in the warm glow of your hatred of The Man.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Blasphemy!* She may not be the classical striking beauty, yet she maintains a prominent place on my laminated list.

http://www.cinemamontreal.com/images...itherspoon.jpg

http://imagecache.allposters.com/ima.../039_40650.jpg

Gattigap

*Note that I fell for Reese during her earlier "Best Laid Plans" phase, prior to this Legally Blonde nonsense. God bless her ability to achieve fame and meelyuns of dollars, but it's her earlier, darker roles that won a place in my heart.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Nope sorry, that pointy chin is just too wicked and witchlike.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Gatti, the second picture is where she looks much better and half her face is covered up. And it's at a weird angle. I could possibly look relatively hot with tons of makeup and retouching, portions of my face hidden, and from a particular angle.

On a side note, I'm a little confused as to why people are pitying (for their lack of attractiveness) people who are on the whole better-looking than the average person, and are only unattractive in comparison to some of the best-looking people in the country (top 1% or 3/4%). But have at it.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Has it gotten more pointy? IT seems much more subdued, and, hence, less unattractive, in these pics.

Althought maybe that's the Humbert Humbert in me speaking.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

When she's not pregnant, she has been losing weight, which makes her cute, prominent chin bony and 'witchy.' So if she gained back a few pounds I think it would go back to being better balanced. I think she's beautiful though either way.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

No one is pitying them. The game we are playing today is "Are the looks of this person overrated?" I joked about pitying Kirstin Dunst. I don't really pity her (after all, she's got the cash).

Speaking of which, time to check whether or not I won the lottery last night.

Edited to say where the fuck is Eagle Lake, Texas, and why would anyone there need $47 million dollars? Guess I'm not retiring today.

Certified royalty-free
 

Funny that #1 on the list of Most Recent Queries is Metallica. What fucking moron, after the demise of poor Napster, does not know that those geezers Lars and James are RIAA goose-steppers?

MILF
 

The MILF websites I know of are quite liberal in their approach to the definition of MILFs.

I respect such liberal interpretations.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Agree. She's like the thin Belinda Carlisle. That's a good thing.

Besides, there's nothing wrong with being a little witchy, unless you're Shannen Doherty.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

And she's even made a lucrative career out of being a pain in the ass. Bravo Shannen!

P(Did I read she was in a fistfight with Paris Hilton over some guy?)J

For anyone who cares anymore
 

The entire existence of Shannen Doherty gives me hives. Seriously. She makes me TUIMMALB. She has nothing to offer this world. Her prime was on Little House on the Prairie, although the only line I remember her saying (about the caged boy) is "He's just a mute. He swallowed lye. He's just a mute."

Lance hates Plano
 

that article just reconfirms for me that public education sucks. What a fuckin embarassment. The school administrators from East Plano High or whatever it is should be drawn and quartered at dawn. And then shot. And then have their remains pissed on.

That's all. Carry on.

Grinchy attitude poll
 

True or false:

The absolute best day of my life lies ahead of me.

The absolute worst day of my life lies ahead of me.*

A(true and true)G

*A compelling argument may be made that for most people, the worst day was the day they were born, in terms of risk, physical and emotional trauma, fear, and a deteriorating standard of living. For most people it will wind up having been more traumatic than their death will be. But let's put that to one side.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Shotguns. Lots and lots of shotguns. Eagle Lake is one of the best duck hunting areas in the country.

Certified royalty-free
 

I like that these Man haters link directly to Amazon. One imagines that they might support the site through click-throughs.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

I'm more of the Jane Wiedlin type myself.

Grinchy attitude poll
 

True, and False. So the rest of life, however sporadically irritating, has seemed much less daunting.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

Me too. In "which go-go would you be" game, I was always Jane. My little sister was Belinda. She was also Susannah Hoffs in the "which Bangle would you be" game.

Grinchy attitude poll
 

False & True.

Can't imagine better days than the day I got married and the day my first child was born. I loved the day each was born, but there is something about the first one. If there are days that good in the future, well, ye-ha!

The worst day of my life would be if any of my immediate family members goes before me. Can't get worse than that. Certainly my death wouldn't be.

For anyone who cares anymore
 

I'll admit that because of my apparently Amish upbringing I still confuse the following groups:

BeeGees
Bangles
GoGos
Beach Boys

I cannot seem to keep them straight.

Also, I kept thinking that Richie Sambora was in Motley Crue until Mr. Kiss pointed out that that would be pretty awkward, given the Heather Locklear deal.

A cop, two underage girls, and lurid sex.
 

Check out the fun going down (so to speak, not that there is anything wrong with that) in Minnesota:

http://www.courts.state.mn.us/opinio...0303-0731.html

I mostly refer this to your attention because rarely do your see our state supreme court dropping a footnote to define "booty call." See FN 1.

Certified royalty-free
 

Yes, whether you get a green "thumbs-up" or the dreaded red "halt."
I was gonna metion that, but am tired of being such a pissy-pot (well, not that tired).