Evacuated
 

Smog here is worst in late summer/early fall. So I stopped reading your theory after your second parenthetical.

Next.

Kate Moss
 

I needed this laugh.

The Country Blumpkin
 

Told you so. True story.

Evacuated
 

No offence to Cooter, but I stopped reading before I started. You have three choices:

-deal with it;
-invent a weather machine;
or
-move.

Analysing the causes and meteorology behind it is BO-ring. Unless your Storm Field or someone like that.

Evacuated
 

Notwithstanding Burger's talking ass, wind is what clears the smog. Rain does not have much of an effect on smog or pollen.

White Sox
 

So is Dusty Baker.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

True, at least until Ironweed fills me in on the proper blender speed for the bourbon/pill cocktail.


Mmmmm, bourbon. Speaking of which, anybody out there try Bulleit Bourbon? Kinda a goofy bottle, but pretty damn tastey, and much cheaper than most of the other small-batch/high end stuff. Priced like Maker's, but drinks more like Knob Creek.

Not that there's anything wrong with Maker's.

Shoeless "Wild Thing" Joe
 

And he made out with Ferris Bueller's sister at the Chicago police station! Fucker!

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

I heart slave.

Merde! I meant I heart "Slave

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Again?

Fiddler in the Tree
 

I bet that cheapassfucking feline didnt contrib to Red Cross via Lawtalkers either

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Maybe. But there isn't even a signal in your posts not to read it. They all suck.

TM

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

I attended the Sebby School Of Receiving Oral. There can only be one truly happy ending.

Kate Moss
 

Translation: I read it and can't think of a response that would make sense to any of the paigows, even.

This is nonsense. I mean, this gibberish can't even be translated.

TM

Kate Moss
 

Translation: I got Slave to invest in the Cheap, Tawdry, Common Ass Model Agency but we went under when Kate Moss won the fluffy panties account. They told us she made them look classy,.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Its a great school, no? My patented "Fluff 101," where you discover you don't like oral as much as sex through repeated comparison is going for $13,000.00 a credit right now. If the Feds don't find a way pierce our parent company in the Caymans, they tell me credits will be higher than shares of Berkshire Hathaway by 2008.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

There is only so much room on the enemies list.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Got a bottle in the freezer. Good, and you're right - can't beat the price.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

I wish I were this drunk. THat's it. I am moving to the East Coast, where you get to get drunker sooner and for longer periods of time.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Dissent, with cheese. A married man has a reason to stalk. A single stalker is much creepier.

I have never stalked, as it requires effort.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Wow. Looks like Philly's teacher shortage is driving up salaries and tuition costs.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

I'm permadrunk. I've got that dry drunk thing going. I feign sober contemplative give-a-shitness by frowning and furrowing my brow. For some reason, if you stare really hard a lot and look pissed off, people think you're incapable of slackerness.

I wish I could rewind to exactly the point where my personality split and I became a full on fraud. I don't actually "understand" or "get" anything I do. I mimic, use nuggets of knowledge and a few acquired skills, and sort of will myself through my career like some Walter Mitty disaster. I need to go to your Coast. I am waaaay too full of shit for the East Coast.

Kate Moss
 

Pure crap. Go start another insurgency or something.

TM

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

No, I'm gouging. We're a Jesuit institution; the instructors work nearly free.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

2.

And we're interviewing litigation laterals. You'd like it here. Not "here" as in the law firm, but the great PacNW.

Kate Moss
 

I have started a Tee Shirt company. Here is our newest one

I'm Not In Anger Management. I'm Thurgreed

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Okay, Costanza.

Why don't you two just meet each other halfway and get a room in MN, already.

TM

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

I didn't think the Jesuits were so opposed to the oral.

Tom Cruise Does Not Approve.
 

Whoah! Whoahh hwhoa woahhh! I was just joking around, but you and Sebby apparently even know which brand of bourbon you'd prefer. At this point I think it's best to make clear that neither Lawtalkers nor its affiliates endorse the practice of mixing 30-40 valium, 10-15 xanax, 2-5 klonopin, however many over-the-counter sleeping pills you can buy without attracting undue suspicion, cough syrup to taste (for color and body) with 18-24 oz of small-batch Bourbon and (here's the kicker) 2-4 oz of Jagermeister in a standard kitchen blender and blending on a low setting (quite right about the froth problem). Serve over rocks . . . I mean don't. No no no. Sprig of mint is a nice touch.

Kate Moss
 

You should wear one. You might get a date, instead of going home to your $1,500 vibrator with dreams of some uninterested masseur dancing in your knucklehead.

edited to change "masseuse to masseur," although I'm sure she'd be uninterested too.

TM

Tom Cruise Does Not Approve.
 

And, of course, the most important touch.

Fire. makes. it. taste. good.

http://hammer.afdc.com/activities/ul...s/5/photo1.jpg

Lurve-In
 

Wait - that night when you, sebby and pp were about to consummate the threesome, who told who they didn't want who involved?

Kate Moss
 

I can always use the tee shirt I made you to get pity fucked

I Jack The Sack. NTTAWWT

Tom Cruise Does Not Approve.
 

Fuck. I just did the Flaming Mo joke and didn't even notice. Dry drunk indeed.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Question on creepy calling etiquette:

If someone calls and doesn't leave a number but says will call back, is it creepy to call back the number that shows up on the phone screen?

Kate Moss
 

Sweetheart, your tee-shirt ideas suck. And not in the good way.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

If it's your cousin Brian's dealer a prompt callback is not only appropriate but expected.

You know the scene, very hum-drum
 

Depends on who the someone is, of course.

On second thought, no it doesn't. It's not creepy, no matter who it is.

White Sox
 

Typing the words "Ping Pow" into google yields this as the first result -- possibly the stupidest fucking thing the internet has ever seen. How fitting.

http://www.sfdt.com/flash/movies/5819.html

Kate Moss
 

I cannot understand the hurt and scorn you feel bc you are not Jennifer Koppelman JAPPY. Is it somehow related to your needing to be seen by the internet people as some kind of insatiable sex kitten as evidenced by your pathetic avatar? I am thinking this might be a more apt avatar:

http://scd.mm-b1.yimg.com/image/1613249425