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Sure, the mouse is scary, but where did you find a shot of Bilmore playing drums in his old band, circa 1975?

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Hank was the one who said he was saying that Ronald McDonald and I are jolly, in response to Flower's contention that he would only want my restaurant advice if he were looking for large portion sizes.

All that breast feeding seems to be addling your brain.

I have to say, all these sunny skies and green trees and warm weather days are not very festive.

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Oh, then I am shocked, appalled, and saddened by Hank. As usual.

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For the internet record I did not say Fringey was jolly. Jolly may well imply fat- I said she was always in a good mood. I am the one who proved Fringey looked like Kirstey Alley circa Cheers. Despite flower's invective I am not one to insult her.

And also, for the record, I have never, and probably will never, Whiff at a PLF post. Whiffing means one does not get the underlying message of a post. PLF's posts take many strange and unpredicted turns. But no matter the style, the underlying message of every PLF post I have read is:

• I hate my life, all life generally and all people. I do not understand or experience joy or happiness. To manisfest my complete unhappiness I will now lash out, unprovoked, at someone who did little else than post some small thought on an anon lawyers chat board. For one brief moment I will feel a small bit better- then I will steep back down into my misery.

Sometimes I try and reply to flower by agreeing with him, to try and help him work towards a better mindset- like maybe having a friend will help. Sometimes I try and attack back- more often I simply say a silent prayer.

But I never misunderstand the underlying message- Never.

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On the contrary. I am never more focused than when under the above cicumstances.

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Translation:

I am a small, small man. Both figuratively and literally. And I tend to use the word "and" when it would be more correct to use the word "to."

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Thank you for that constructive criticism of my word usage. I must say I have always admired the depth and breadth of your education. I often wish this forum was not anon so that I might learn what educational institutions you attended, and then, when the time comes, direct my children to those schools.

I should also let you know that I am somewhat hurt by the personal attack. I made a post to let others see how I perceive your posts. That is solely how I interpret what you post- I surely did not mean to imply it is, or is not, accurate to how you are IRL- it is just subjectively how you appear to me.

You reply with a coarse personal attack. I really didn't deserve that.

Can we start over, as friends?

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There should not be a comma after "say" (because you follow it with "that") in the second sentence in the post quoted above. In the original post regarding Flower, you should not have used "steep," but I can't bring to mind what word you likely were looking for.

fa la la la la, la la la la.

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"step", perhaps?

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Or it could have meant "seep." Being a sloppy speller gives me quite a bit of freedom to change direction. But I meant "steep," as in tea.
I suppose it should have been "steeped."

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We're not friends?

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Hank, those who resort to ad hominem attacks only do so b/c they cannot reasonably address the substance.

It's okay, Flower. We're here for you. I hate people, too. They are very stupid and shallow, and usually lack a creative wit. The latter is a human trait that we know disgusts you, but can't you just enjoy the fact that you are blessed with such a wonderful wit? If everyone were as witty or hip (or grammatically skilled) as you, the world would be a very boring place, would it not? If everyone stopped drinking pisco sours at the exact time that you designated them passe, upon whom would you look down? Without the squares, you are nobody. You need them to define you. If the entire world went pitch black, the blind man would no longer be blind. He would be just like everyone else.

We're here for you, Flower. We are the support group you may not think you need. You are wrong. Without us, you are just a guy sitting behind a desk in Minnesota wearing plaid pants, fervently searching for obscure bands and dreaming about unsolicited blow jobs.

It's okay, Flower. It's okay.

Yeah, yeah, this should be on the gadget board
 

But whatever.

The top 10 weirdest USB drives ever

Unsurprisingly, a lot of them seem to come from Japan.

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I agree with what you say. Mostly. But I think that what you ask of me is a bit counterintuitive. First, let me assure you that I am keenly aware that, without a world full of pussies, suckers, and other blathering dolts, I would not be able to daily revel in my superiority. But it appears that you ask me to, in appreciation of the fact that the inferiority of those around me enables my own feelings of superiority, abandon my contempt and hatred for those less witty, less hip, or otherwise less worthy. But would not doing so undermine my ability to feel superior to these people? I suppose I could try to take on a kind, sympathetic attitude toward the teeming masses of morons I encounter each day. I suppose I could be moved by the pitiful plight of the inane, the dogged inevitability of the hapless. Candidly, the thought of doing so leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I understand the concern that you and Hank are expressing. Please know that my disdain for the suckers of the world has not turned me into a bitter, joyless troll. To the contrary, it has made me the happiest man alive.

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This is like the real life Good Will Hunting. Soon, you'll be crying, and I'll be patting you on the back, telling you "it's not your fault...it's not your fault."

uh
 

Which way does the trite saying go - am I supposed to feed a cold or starve a cold? Also, while I have you here, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop (tm)?

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Do you know I once met Neil Sadaka? He came to a pool party my father was throwing. This really reminds me of him.

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I do know that.

uh
 

Hi ncs!

You are supposed to feed a cold and starve a fever. The logic is that eating raises your body temperature so will not help the fever come down. However, when you have a cold, you need nutrition, so eating helps.

I don't know the answer to your second question.

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I like people. I had 3 of them for breakfast.

uh
 

Have some chicken soup with lots of garlic. Drink some orange juice and go to bed.

uh
 

The world may never know.

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Big ones?

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They don't call it Jewish penicillin for nothing! (the protein and the salt** are good for your cold)



**in the CHICKEN SOUP, you pervs

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Uh huh. With strawberries. And syrup.

uh
 

3

uh
 

This was quite helpful. Thank you. Other than not knowing the Tootsie Pop thing.

For the chicken soup recommenders out there, let's say that a person doesn't eat the chicken so much, could a substitution of some sort of tomato soup and/or minestrone work? Or should I just munch on a clove of garlic?

uh
 

Minestrone would probably work better than tomato soup, but I don't really have a dosage conversion calculator. The salt and garlic are essential, as well as the heat and protein.

I'm now craving the chicken soup at Biba's One's-A-Meal, though the chicken in a pot at Katz's is also really good.

uh
 

Chicken soup may be best. http://archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/...ken.soup.reut/

Agree with RT on the minestrone v. tomato outcome. But hot liquids make you feel better regardless.

By the way, keep eating if you get a fever. The old theory has been debunked.

uh
 

3 licks and a bite.

uh
 

I was just about to pipe up with miso soup as another idea -- particularly since I seem to remember that you were on a tuna bowl jag (or something like that) a while back (and so I presume that you like Japanese food). I had a small cold last weekend and the miso was perfect food for quick recovery.

uh
 

Pho is also a miracle cure for many ailments, including a cold. I think they can give you meatless pho.

Mmmm. Soup.

uh
 

Yes, I am a fan of the miso as well. Also hot and sour soup works for me.

uh
 

Soup is boring. It's nothing but watered down food.

All-you-can-eat
 

I like soup. I mean, it's no pie, but still.

Mmmm, more pie.

All-you-can-eat
 

Soup is for morons who haven't figured out how to use a fork. It is the Idiot Food You Can Drink.

uh
 

And yet, this soup discussion managed to be Not The Most Boring Topic On The Fashion Board Today. Flower talking about himself. Yawn.

uh
 

I second the hot and sour -- it has tofu in it sometimes, which is protein, right?

And a warm cat as a heating pad. I can loan/give you one if yours will not act as such.

Killer Santa
 

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg...._KmuXh8ALIzQ-- http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051214/.../slasher_santa

uh
 

Fisting. Fisting fisting fisting fisting fisting fisting fisting.