Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

How about a tax on parking spaces? If you overflow - you pay a tax. If you park crooked (easy for the Jeep with no turning radius) then you get taxed?

DINGLE, Ireland, Aug. 4 — The shopping experience in this picturesque Irish town is not dissimilar to buying groceries in New Jersey or Texas — except at the checkout. Garvey’s Supervalu will happily take your euros or your credit card, but the staff won’t offer any shopping bags unless you are willing to pay for them.
THE PRACTICE, replicated in villages, towns and cities throughout Ireland for 17 months, has contributed to a stunning drop in the use of plastic bags, once a ubiquitous scourge along the nation’s bucolic lanes, quiet rivers and twisty highways.
It’s a plan that environmental groups think is worth serious consideration in other countries.
According to the Irish Department of the Environment, shoppers used around 1.2 billion plastic bags per year before the tax was imposed in March 2002. Since then, the use has dropped by around 95 percent.
tax the bags

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

On behalf of all the Massholes, I am heartbroken that you left the People's Republic of Cambridge off your list.

True Confessions, or "It's Not That Easy Being Green."
 

Like 106 other lawyers in Greater Podunkville, I drive an Explorer. The other two lawyers in town drive fancy cars: Slick Slattery (the PI guy whose commercial airs once every 7 minutes during "All My Children" and twice an hour during "Judge Joe Brown") drives a classic Bentley; Rocco "Rocco" Montiglione, a criminal lawyer (insert joke here), drives a new Cadillac "loaned" to him every year by the local dealership.

My cases can get pretty paper intensive, so when I have a trial or hearing, I need to schlep boxes and boxes of exhibits and such. The Explorer has enough room for me to do that without taking up too much space in parking lots or garages, and it gets pretty decent mileage.

That being said, I wish that there was some way of discouraging people from wanting bigger and bigger big SUVs. As dtb noted, many of us drive SUVs in part because they make us feel safer (notwithstanding increased rollover risk) around all of the other big SUVs on the road, which may not be a good thing for society as a whole.

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

Here! Here!

I shall fuck off with my fucking stupid car, succeed, and start a fucking wastland that will be free from fucking parking restrictions, and from which my fucking followers and I shall launch nightly fucking raids on the peds, leaving embarrassing skidmarks at popular intersections and other places of notable interest.

True Confessions
 

I don't want to get into this discussion, but I guess I already am. I've known several people who have been killed in automobile accidents, and it's always been because someone else did something stupid. Our culture thinks that being a bad driver is funny, and we are amused when people say "I feel safe in an SUV." Then they chuckle and look the other way and say under their breath, "and who cares about everybody else, right?!" When did disregard for the lives and wellbeing of others to the benefit of ourselves become so amusing and appropriate?

I just want to note that I am scared of people who feel "sturdy" and "safe" in big cars or trucks. Do you think the rest of us feel sturdy and safe when you are driving that huge shit? Do you think that you're going to do well in a roll-over because you feel sturdy and safe? Just please, please drive it like it should be driven, and don't run into me and kill me. In the end, you may end of feeling worse because you killed me just so you could feel safe. Or maybe not, or you wouldn't drive that in the first place.

When are vehicle fees going to reflect true costs of vehicle ownership, including weight and maybe miles driven? Probably not as long as a guy whose family made all his money from oil and other big business is the president.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Then it's not your fault, and I will try not to swear at you if you are accidentally over the line into a space I want. But if I don't think it's you, I will swear.

And try coloring with crayons. No one cares if you go outside the lines with crayons 'cause they're too wide for precision. Colored pencils, some people are sticklers about.

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

Thats righ, Jehovah. STay in your redneck part of the world. And just remember to keep those skidmarks off your manpanties.

first gay bishop on hold
 

MINNEAPOLIS, Aug. 4 — Episcopal bishops indefinitely postponed their vote Monday on whether to approve the church’s first openly gay elected bishop after allegations of pornography and inappropriate conduct arose. THE ADVANCEMENT OF the Rev. V. Gene Robinson to bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire had been approved Sunday by the church’s House of Deputies, a legislative body composed of clergy and lay people, setting the stage for Monday’s final vote by the 106-member House of Bishops.
Presiding Bishop Frank Griswold postponed the final vote Monday afternoon, saying in a statement that he had appointed the bishop of Western Massachusetts, the Rev. Gordon B. Scruton, to investigate “questions [that] have been raised and brought to my attention regarding the bishop elect.”

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

Umm, that's not very Christian of you....

True Confessions
 

Gas taxes do a pretty good job of charging for the fuel costs. Insurance needs to do a better job of assessing the damage caused by Suv's (although they probably balance out the occupants' injuries with the ones they cause)

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

Up until this point I am in total agreement. You like the suburbs? Then stay there and don't bother me.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I drive a little sportyish kind of thing. It's tan. Excuse me, desert.

And thank you.

True Confessions
 

Not to be snippy,* but these justifications are lame. Unless you're hauling a horse trailer or going off road, a minivan is a better use of space, fuel and money**.

And what no one seems to get is that minivans ARE cool. They're cool in that "I am above being cool" kind of way. They tell everyone that the driver doesn't care what you think is cool, s/he's just got to haul a lot of shit around. My cousin the NY actor/musician/bohemian just bought a minivan to haul around his band's crap, and his life is about nothing but being cool. And if you get one in the ever popular gold metalic or silver metalic, you can also convey to the world that you are to busy living your life to be bothered washing your car.

Full disclosure: I own a small SUV, but I bought it at a time in my life when I was doing all sorts of SUV stuff - driving down romote roads to fishing holes, driving up to ski lodges, carrying muddy bikes back from trails, etc. Of course, within three months of purchase I met the future baltspouse who likes to do none of these SUV requiring things, and it has since remained on the road and I have gained 30 pounds.

Ugh. I have to go work out. Next car (soon!) will be a minivan, and the second car is/will be a small sedan or coupe.


*a sure sign that someone is about to be snippy, but I mean it's nothing personal.

** a co-worker who just bought a Expedition/Suburban thing just paid close to $15,000 more for it than I will be paying for my comparably equiped minivan. For that $15k he gets a much bigger engine to haul around his much heavier car, and four wheel drive.

True Confessions
 

Oh get a fucking grip. Gas taxes in this country are so far from pigouvian it's not even funny. And "fault" in car accidents should include "If you were not driving something that weighs 7,000 lbs, there would have been minimal damage to either car therefore despite the fact that the other car ran the stop sign, you have to pay for the damages."

Not that I'm biased on this point. I am with whoever that person is with the rolling dice or whatever -- are you male? Are you married? If the answers are "yes" and "no" respectively, wanna go on a date?

Edited because apparently out-of-proportion anger makes me spell like I have a cold.

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

thats good bc I am developing a girlcrush on you. In my mind, you look like Jill Kelly, after the implants.

and of course you know that my immigrants comment is tounge in cheek. they are just such a target. everyone makes fun of them.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I didnt know the subaru outback came in desert.

True Confessions
 

My favorite retort to "it keeps my kid safe" is "I hope your kid is permanently traumatized when your rEEEEEEEdiculously large vehicle hits the normal sedan the kid's best friend is in, and the best friend is squished into roadkill in front of your kid."

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

I don’t watch a huge variety of TV but on the rare occasions that I channel-surf and when I read all the TVTalk on this board I think of that old Springsteen song "57 Channels and Nothing On."

Has that come true or what? Now I admit that without my digital cable hookup I would miss ESPN, FoxNews, and Dennis Miller’s gigs on HBO, but other than that it's a big wasteland. And more and more, a big reality wasteland. If I want to see the dregs and drecks of humanity embarrassing themselves I can just take a walk around mid-town at lunch time.

Speaking of embarrassments, anyone else see where the makers of Nutella chocolate spread have dropped Kobe Bryant because of the rape thing? Apparently they made the unfortunate marketing decision of going with the catch phrase "Kobe's favorite spread". While he may like the fudgey path, I think they were a little off on where the spreadin’ be done.

Funny thing I just bought some and his mug is right there on the jar, big as all getout. Probably a collector’s item and I’m guessing it won't be on the next jar I buy, unless it’s a jar of Vasoline.

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

That is why it's so great being both Canadian and an immigrant. No one ever makes fun of us.

Honoring Paigow's Request
 

After being rejected on For Love or Money by Erin, Rob will show up on the Aug. 11 edition of For Love or Money 2, on which Erin is now gambling her $1 million prize. He tells TV Guide, "they told me they would give me a second chance with Erin, and I decided to pursue that. ... I really like her, you know?" About his past actions being revealed by The Smoking Gun, Rob says, "For a week there, I was freaking out a little bit. But I know who I am, and I don't need Smoking Gun to tell me what kind of person I am or spread lies about me."


[Yes, I can here him monotoning that as we virtually speak.]

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

(1) Isn't Nutella Italian?

(2) Didn't they invent mistresses and general man-whoring?

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

You are Italian, cutie, you tell me. I am available for mistressing if you are over six feet tall and have the curly black man leg hair under controk. And you leave the short shorts in chicago with Jesus.

Paig Buchanan
 

Keep your hands off my Muffin...

...you xenophobe.

not7yS

Timmy on Law Enforcement
 

Isn't it time for you to go feed the border chickens?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Ooh you wound me with your lesbian stereotypes :P


Edited to say there is in fact a lesbian with whom I work who drives a subaru outback. It seems like a nice enough car I guess, but I don't get the attraction.

The lesbian car of the 90s was the Saab. I'm not really sure what it is now though. Do you know Idle?

Paig Buchanan
 

Perhaps we can do a double bill with the SD blowjob show. You and me compete for Abba. Except that I dont like the muff. I may have to default on that one- thanks for remeinding me of it. Plus she probably washes it with Suave,.

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

I think Nutella probably dropped him b/c of the adultery + rape charge. I very very much doubt that Nutella would drop him if it just came out that he cheated on his wife. It shouldn't work that way - i.e. lose endorsements just because of allegations, but it would be naive to think that it wouldn't happen.

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

Sponsorship's can be tenuous and given and taken at the whims of brand managers and corporations, despite those manager's sexual proclivities.

I'm sure Kobe and his agent knew this. Anything that reflects badly upon the brand is a death sentence for the athlete cum product shill. Bottom line is that if he had kept his willy out of the girl's nutella, he wouldn't be in this situation.

On the other hand, Krusty the Klown bounced back from being charged with robbing the Quik-E-Mart, so there's still hope for Kobe.

True Confessions
 

Will you two shut the fuck up about it already?

Thurgreed(get a PM room already)Marshall

Those Wacky Environmentalists
 

OK, bumper stickers is one thing, arson is another.

$20 million fire tied to eco-militants. SAN DIEGO, Aug. 4 — Dozens of investigators on Monday were probing a $20 million arson that appears to be the work of the Earth Liberation Front. If front activists are responsible, it would be the costliest attack ever by environmental extremists. THE FIRE early Friday leveled a 200-unit condominium complex that was under construction in what had been a scenic canyon with nearby wetlands.
A 12-foot hand-painted banner found on the scene read: “If you build it — we will burn it — the ELF’s are mad.”
The San Diego Union-Tribune newspaper reported it had received an e-mail from the ELF claiming responsibility.
burn

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

I'm not buying this. I don't care who endorses it.

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

How familiar with athlete cum products do you have to be before you qualify as an athlete cum product shill? It sounds like an interesting career choice.


edited to note that Coltrane sucks because he got there before I did.

True Confessions
 

Oh, go drive your SUV over your kid's best friend (remember to reverse over and back -- see Houston dentist's wife for technique) and shut the fuck up yourself. And I already have a premenstrual room, thank you very much.

What is the most annoying commercial on tv
 

I cant decide between that Slimfast (oh yes you can can yes you can can) or the one with the Journey song. They almost make me want to get Tivo except that would mean I wuld be a ultra tv watching sloth (natch, francis)

Paig Buchanan
 

I am flattered by the crush. However, two things:

1. ABBA is all caps. Thank you.
2. I do not have a muff. I have had varying designs over the years (from schoolgirl to two-finger strip to Hitler), but have been sans muff for the past five or so years. Wouldn't want any troubles with the tongue ring getting caught you know.

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

Since my image of you is 100% Maude Lebowski, I've already seen you naked.

You mean coitus?

Paig Buchanan
 

so it would be safe for me to chew gum then? ABBAtrim?

True Confessions
 

I'm guessing that's where you keep your entertainment center and your computer.

Paig Buchanan
 

:yum:

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Since my my friends all drive convertibles or (gasp!) SUVs, I Googled:

Accordingly to a poll recently conducted by the CarTalk folks, the winner is indeed a Subaru:

http://cartalk.cars.com/About/Gay-Le...ay-chick1.html