How Would Jesus Park?
 

This reminds me of a conversation I overheard on the subway the other day. It was about a Ford Expedition [PSYCHE!!]. No, seriously. This woman was recounting to her friends about how her grandfather married her ailing grandmother's nurse (said nurse was about 50 years younger than grandfather), and had a daughter. Therefore, woman-telling-story had an aunt who was considerably younger than she. The woman telling the story appeared to be about 40, and her aunt is 12.

Anyway, her cohorts were laughing and she remarked, "yes, we put the fun in dysfunctional..."

[Luckily, they were behind me, so as I attempted to stifle my giggles, my eavesdropping was (I hope) not so obvious.]

It's probably an old line, but I found it amusing.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

It's never a "good morning" when there are millions of people suffering and miserable all over the world, you presumptuous evil insensitive rich-capitalist bastard!

True Confessions
 

So when I went to my (Texas) high school reunion a little while back I learned all about this. The Excursion is built on the same platform as the F-series, which is why it is about the most horrible thing to drive imaginable. The Expedition doesn't share it's platform with a pickup, but nonetheless has quite a towing capacity.

And it is the "bed" of the pickup you're think of. A flatbed has no walls to the bed.

I'll admit there was a part of me that looked on with envy as my former classmate showed off his King Ranch edition F-150 kingcab (the Towncar of pickups). But since I don't have a horse trailer, and don't plan to get one soon (despite the baltspawns' pleas for a pony), I'm still sticking with the plan to get a minivan.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I don't have one b/c I choose not to view anyone elses.

It's clean.

True Confessions
 

Sorry Dead Horse beater, but have to continue talking about this...


When the Excursion came out, I wondered...

First Explorer, then Expedition, then Excursion... what's next? Expensive?

[My easily amused husband** found this hilarious.]




**The fact that dear old hubby is easily amused should be obvious from my admission yesterday that he finds that "gellin' like a felon" commercial (what's the product they're selling?) uproariously funny, but have included for those who weren't paying attention yesterday.

Keeping With the Current Theme
 

It is an abstract concept and one in which the concrete form matters naught.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Good question (although I feel like there are plenty of lesbians with good taste to whom I can't apply stupid, common stereotypes and frankly don't even know they're lesbians).

Here's another (not necessarily for you): Why did that lesbian who was working out next to me at the gym the other day have a full mustache? She bleached it, but it was Goose Gossage thick. She wasn't fooling anyone, but maybe she wasn't trying to. I don't get it.

TM

How Would Jesus Park?
 

See, context is key. Being a presumptuous evil insensitive rich-capitalist bastard, it's the very fact that there are millions of people suffering and miserable all over the world that MAKES it a good morning for me!

So, since I took your comments as a simple expression of happy truth, they weren't offensive!

(Maybe this system really does work.)

How Would Jesus Park?
 

No clue, I know some straight women who do the same thing. A friend (straight) told me she always bleaches instead of waxing or shaving because she is afraid it will come in darker or thicker if she does that.

My view is it might come in darker or thicker, but you keep removing it so who cares. If you have thick hair all over your face and it is blonde, it is still thick hair all over your face. Of course I also read recently that it doesn't come in darker or thicker, it just looks/feels that way due to the way it grows in, i.e. stubbly. But if you let it keep growing it would end up like it was before.

True Confessions
 

I think there are lots of places in this country where this phrase would never occur to anyone. Happily, it makes perfect sense to me.

How Would Jesus Watch on TV?
 

NBC news with Brokaw will have a special report tonight on the epidemic of obese children in America and the dangerous consequences that may result. Are all these little porkers potential votes for Ralphie?

True Confessions
 

At the risk of incurring more SUV comments-related wrath, the Explorer is based on the Ranger platform, the Expedition is based on the F-150 platform and the Excursion is based on the F-250 platform.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Because yo mama told her it tickled her in all the right places. Nttawwt.

Mistaken Identity
 

WWLD is a woman? (For all I knew it was another Penske sock.) I guess that makes the anti-Breasticle Day stance more understandable than if she was a guy. Who or what is the "L" anyway?

As for the Loflecks, don't count them out just yet. They have another movie yet to open and they'll need the publicity to keep it from becoming Gigli 2.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Body odour or flatulence? Or both?

Speaking of stinkeroos, Prince Charles and Camilla P. Bowles are moving in together. Can I be the first to <RETCH> about this?

Mistaken Identity
 

And what makes you think it is not?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Just bc she is hairy don't make her gay. I have a friend who has a full on dark mustache who is straight. I know this bc I know her boyfriend of nine years, who she lives with. I have gotten to the point where I dont have to avert my eyes when talking to her nor do I stare at it, but Bitch, Please, do something about that. How does one tell her?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Anonymously send her a tin of mustache wax.

3 the Hard Way
 

The only reason I could ever envision wanting Tara Reid around is if your sources are dry and you need a few extra pager numbers.

not7yS

Keeping With the Current Theme
 

Stop being so PC, you hyper-sensitive, uptight shrew.

paigow on Pretty
 

This is pretty much your worst post ever.

Be Afraid
 

I hate to tell you this but that was my idea, which I started to post and then bagged because I got distracted by a phone call and upon reflection did not see any real entertainment value in such a post, notwithstanding that, as a practical solution, I think it is a good one.

LOL!

paigow on Pretty
 

Concur, its sad to see a legend on the backside of his career.

Theory of the lingere shower
 

Same here - even as we discussed shopping for cribs this weekend...

-TL :angel:

Edited to add - oooh looky I have 300 posts. I think that means I need to do some real work now if I want to get paid.

Theory of the lingere shower
 

Me too. Ironic, no?

Theory of the lingere shower
 

So how many is it if you include your socks? Wait, let me guess, have you given up socking?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I've often wondered that - why women with heavy dark moustaches bleach when a depilatory is just as easy to use and gets rid of the whole mess?
Waxing (and tweezing) results in the hair coming in thinner than before. Same with electrolysis (right Pensk?). Shaving - you are right - only feels stubbly because of the blunt edge on the hair (feel against the grain on leg hair).

FWIW, I have never shaved my toes and do not have pubes on my knees.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I've only shaved. FWIW, fyi, for the record.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Context is key, Bilmore, but you have it all wrong. Your uttering the words "good morning" are offensive because you are a white capitalist male, and therefor your demand that the morning be good is backed with implied violence intended to force others into placid and smiling accpetance of your hegemony, and further an imperialist attempt to force others to adopt your social constructs and to rape, pillage and suppress all other forms of expression and communication, thereby ensuring your cultural domination of the masses. The only significant context for your utterances is your inherently offensive white maleness. Your every utterance can be presumed offensive. Duh.

Another example: One (too frequently) hears that inviting a woman to weddings alone is offensive and ridicules her singleness, thus calling attention to her presumed inadequacy and further taunting her by rubbing her nose in the fact that someone else has paired off in a socially-condoned manner. It is apparently insulting to presume that single women might want to celebrate others' happiness rather than take the events as a commentary on themselves. However, context is everything: inviting the same woman to a wedding shower with the possibility of bringing a companion would be construed the same way because it is nearly impossible to get dates to go to such things but others might show up in couples, so it again implicitly denigrate her singleness. Not to mention those insensitive couples who hold hands and smile at each other in public - that's just unnecessary bitchiness.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

This is like tying a sweater around your waist to disguise your fat butt. Draws attention to the fact that you are aware of the problem, but have not taken steps to properly address it.

ABBAmuff
 

I was on line at that supermercade a day or two ago and saw on the cover of one of the tabloids that there were shots of Angelina's lesbian lover. I went to Natl Enquirer dot com and it wasnt that one. Can you find these and post em? I need a cheap thrill.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Speaking of...I was in Nordstroms the other day and all of the mannequins in the Studio 121 had sweaters tied around their shoulders. Is this back?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I'll go further than that (and probably incur wrath). We're hypersensitive to the needs of single people to have their relationship status "respected."

It's a shame you can't invite single people to weddings these days without the abomination known as an "And Guest" invitation. There used to be three states of being: Single, Engaged, and Married. The creation of multiple categories within "Single" such as "Living With Girlfriend" or "Taking Time Out for Herself" means that you just can't try to set people up anymore. It's now everyone's responsibility to know the degree of seriousness a single person has in the permanence of their current status, because God forbid you should insult them by giving them an opportunity to change it one way or the other --- mind you, this was supposed to be the advantage of being unmarried. This growing idea that you can't go stag to a wedding is killing the best outlet for hookups and drunken sex.

For example, this idea that it insults the sanctity of premarital shacking up to try to introduce a single person in a "committed relationship" to other singles is recockulous. We're more paternalistic about committed unmarried relationships than we are about married ones.

Theory of the lingere shower
 

A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

If my parents, sister and I are together for more than five minutes the most often heard comment from those around us is "man, you people are fucking cruel to one another." That's not how we see it. We are all bitingly sarcastic (although I apparently cannot successfully pull off sarcasm on the FB :( ) and starkly honest with one another (at least the women are -- my dad is kinda a teddy bear among female sharks). The first time they met my husband wanted to kill my mother for "being mean" to me (like he thought he needed to protect me). Anyway, it takes a while to get used to us and our "wit" - heck, it took my assistant a year to realize that I wasn't really going to fire her and that despite my remarks she does qualify as a full-time employee.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Damn, this was good. Are you from California?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

ohmigod - it was out?!?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I had a theory that the 3 people without avatars billmore, Coltrane and Sebastian are all the same, and the lack of avatar flows from not knowing how.( maybe you/someone could have a confidential avatar workshop?) for awhile I tried to see similarity in style between the 3 but didn't get anywhere. plus, bilmore and coltrane were arguing about running yesterday and neither seems the sort to argue with themself. the avatars being so visual, the lack of avater, almost functions as the avatar, so its sort of confusing to have more than 1 non-avatar poster.

ABBAmuff
 

I am not able to surf the net to look for these from work, nor do I have the technical capability to post pictures. I could ask MR to do it for me, but he is TCBing in his office and cannot be bothered.

I too need a cheap thrill, however, so many thanks for anyone who can post a picture. Unless it is the picture of Angelina's lesbian lover from a few years ago when she was making some movie I never saw. (May have been Gia but for some reason I don't think so). That woman is very much not my type in that she was much more butch than lipstick.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Paigow's gotta be laughing her ass off at this point.