The best invention in the world
 

assuming that the teleporter isn't up and running yet.

Traffic signal changing device

I've harbored fantasies of bending the traffic lights (especially on those streets running east-west in between 288 and the 59 spur all the way from the med-center to downtown) to my will for years now.

Tailer Dane
 

Well, actually, one of the joys that is my life is the possibility that I will go up 15 pounds in two weeks and 3 months later, lose 12 in two days. I actually have clothes in my closet now for three different sized Wonks.

It's a good thing I work in a very casual environment or I'd have had to sell one of the kids by now to pay for my wardrobe.

Why the FB sucks
 

Is it that "chick friendly" genre? Like with halo lighting and waterfalls? and is chick firendly still hardcore, bc that would surprise me. bc I think somewhere along the line, I developed a man's taste for sex- (though I could live without some of the closeups as I am not a gyno by choice). Also, no thanks of the rear shots of the man's balls slapping the kitty.

Anywya, I would like to thiank Less. I ordered a video from Adam and Eve and then this woman on the phone who sonded like a fifty something black woman reads to me ina monotone "we have a special for you today. Would you like ____ featuring Jenna in three ways, fourt ways and masturbating?" I was mortified this woman was saying this to me but got the DVD anyway. I also got a "mystery dvd" which I at first assumed was a mystery, like Death on the Orient Express or something.

Now all i ask is that someone tells me when the woman with the beautiful tits decides to make the transtion from stripping to hardcore. Bc I heart her.

Actual Fashion Question
 

The answer is mostly 5, with the addition of the fact that it's a personal taste thing. I have almost no trousers without pleats. I like pleats. They tend to make me look slimmer, not dowdier, and they drape better.

The only time pleats make you look heavier is when you're wearing trousers too small and the pleats are being forced to bellows out. At such time, remember the old joke: it's not that dress that makes you look fat, dear, it's your enormous ass that makes you look fat. Stretched pleats are the male equivalent.

Why the FB sucks
 

Excluding this is like taking the claps out of Jack & Diane...

Porno by Mail, One Two Three
 

You will now receive catalogs monthtly for the rest of your life. Between them and PHE, Inc., I have more choices of nice TIT-covered paper to make bindles out of than I could ever use.

Spreading the joy
 

I just got a notice of a fare sale from British Air. They're offering flights from anywhere in the US that BA flies out of to the UK for $100 each way from November 11, 2003 to April 4, 2004, assuming round trip fare. The price goes up to $150 each way from April 5 to May 30, and then to $250 each way for the summer.

Porno by Mail, One Two Three
 

If you really don't order from them for a long time, they stop. Apparently. However, once you receive the catalog you get descriptions of many many videos which she may find helpful.

What's a bindle? Is that used in bukkake?

Why the FB sucks
 

1) POTY. Funniest thing you have ever said. Did you come up with that yourself or is that a common midwest joke? I may have a crush on you all over again.

2) If this was serious, I am confused. My ex used to cringe at these shots. Most guys like em? If so why? I figured they must serve some purpose but thought it was more along the lines of "see, I am really banging her".

First Montecore, now Man's Best Friend
 

Dog shoots hunter.

Why the FB sucks
 

Sigh. I even made yesterday's lesson a rhyming one to help you remember. Strokes, folks. Strokes, folks. Both the scrotum and the . . . crap, can't remember what you called it but anyway, have nerve endings and some might like being reminded of the sensation of hitting or being hit. Or whatever.

Why the FB sucks
 

I think I saw an E! show about the Cougar in which he stated that they didn't add the claps to the song until the final edit and that the song sucked without them. They were wrong though - the song still sucks...

Those shots are sometimes humorous if you can hear the contact, but they're usually just a close-up of a guy's ass, which I could do without.

Porno by Mail, One Two Three
 

Only if you can spooge a chick's face after doing lots of lines.

Less (it is a folded up piece of paper to hold drugs) inSF

Fun With Midwestern Lawyers
 

From the Smoking Gun:

"The attorneys, both 40, were arrested October 12 after they were found sans clothes in the laundry room of an apartment complex where neither man resides. Seems that the guys had been out celebrating the University of Wisconsin's upset football win over Ohio State when they got caught in the rainstorm. Burleson told cops the pair were "just attempting to dry their clothes" in the laundry room. According to the below Madison Police Department report, a building resident told officers that the lawyers were spotted doing a "strip tease." "

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/madlawyer1.html

Porno by Mail, One Two Three
 

bukkake is clearer to me now too. thank you. and, even though I'm sure this confession will make me repugnant to most FBers, I feel compelled to disclose that I'm not so good at splooging.