Slot C Action
 

Total TM violation but I am between crazy phone calls. And not good crazy in the paigow sense. But I thought clenching (ie snapping) was good? And that all the ladies clenched when they came bc of muscle contractions?

Slot C Action
 

Cry me a fuckin' river, dude. Do you hear this [making weird finger motion by your ear]? It is the world's smallest violin and it is playing for you. We should all have your problems. Be careful what you wish for b/c you might get it. A stich in time, saves nine. A bush in your hand is worth two something something.

Do you get what I am getting at here?

No?

That is because you are not smart enough to understand what I am saying, just like you are not smart enough to understand how lucky you are to have a girl who not only tolerates, but actually requests, that you go spelunking in the dingleberry cave with your purple-helmeted recon ranger.* If you are not ranger enough to get the job done, then send Debtslave, errr, I mean "your girlfriend" over and I will make it my duty to please that booty.


*translation = she likes you to insert your penis into her dingleberry cave.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Quite true. I know that I, for instance, still look upon weddings and funerals as one of my few remaining socially sanctioned opportunities for random hookups and drunken sex.

Them, and trips to DC.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

so burgre finally gave it up?

Slot C Action
 

You are indeed wiser than Aristotle.

Kobe and Stuff
 

Oh, and here I thought the Tyson defense was "well, at least I didn't bite off her fuckin' EAR!"

Kobe and Stuff
 

And don't miss Kobe accepting his award (previously taped footage) for Favorite Male Athelete at the Teen Choice Awards, tonight on Fox. And if that is not enough, Kelly Clarkson will perform (don't forget the olive oil).

Another Personal Check to a Hooker?
 

Jerry Springer (required link) drops out of the race for Ohio senator.

What will become of his new informercial ?

No Slot C Rippage
 

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Dude, please tell me that my sarcasm alarm is failing. 'Cause is mine isn't, yours sure as fuck is.

No Slot C Rippage
 

. . . . that's been leaked, at least.

No Slot C Rippage
 

The defense could always argue that it was due to Olestra, anyway.

In Like Flynt
 

The subsequent posts finally helped me understand the dubious board topicality of Larry Flynt wanting to tax slots.

No Slot C Rippage
 

source, please?

edited to add: and ew.

Another Personal Check to a Hooker?
 

If this is accurate, it is disappointing on so many different levels.

No Slot C Rippage
 

Anne Elk will have to provide that.

My point was only that the article, based on sources, didn't mention Slot C. That hardly proves Slot C never came into play.

In Like Flynt
 

Speaking of Larry Flynt, I can't believe this hasn't been posted already: Larry Flynt is being sued for sex toys in the dishwasher at work

No Slot C Rippage
 

ahhh, got it. I misunderstood, I thought there was some late breaking news (pardon the pun).

I can't believe I have espn.com bookmarked. For legal news.

Better Than Britney
 

Kate Moss will supposedly appear completely nude in the upcoming issue of W magazine and without the aid of airbrushing (presumably to avoid looking "lumpy").

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

Drudge is now reporting that "Gigli" - released less than a week ago - is now averaging less than $185 PER SCREENING.

That's what - like 20 tickets per show?

This is clearly much more than a bad film. This is major public backlash against two hacks of dubious talent that have been slammed down our collective throats by the publicity machine.

And nothing is more fun to watch than a sinking ship.

not7yS

In Like Flynt
 

It is because you have been designated by the board as "Link Poster For All Sex Toy-Related Litigation Stories". Did you not get the memo? I was a little bit surprised you were so lax in your duties yesterday, but since you got the link posted today, I will let it slide. Bygones.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

Having seen "Titanic," I disagree.

Edited to add: Holy shit, I'm turning into Bilmore.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

Sony Pictures has already pulled the TV ads.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

I was a bit amazed that they actually were able to come up with two quotes from movie reviewers that were actually positive for the print ads.

Of course, the quotes were probably out of context. Or from Sony's in-house staff of movie reviewers.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

Yeah, but I'm Bilmore in 15 years.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

The interesting part is that he's got a nifty chart that shows the daily receipts and the percentage change from day to day. While not high in the first place, the receipts are dropping like a stone.

Impressive indeed.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

given the size of theaters in the malls of suburbansprawl america, twenty tix per show is surprisingly high. especially in the middle of the week. people want to see a trainwreck?

I think if these two had been a little less complacent, show offy and I am still Jenny from the block despite my pink soliataire, the schadenfreude would be just at Madonna or Courtney Love levels. But these two assholes have to remind us all the time how in love they are and how much they make and about their fifteen million dollar house off of Savannah and the diamond. Talk about money for nothing.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

With this sinking ship, I'd rather read reports about it than have to sit through it.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

There were ads? Have they pulled previews too?

I still believe that this one could make some bucks in video release. There are probably a lot of people who will rent it just to see how much it sucks. It may also become a hit with the college crowd who will get all fucked up and give it the Mystery Science Theater treatment.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

Much like Mr DTB, I am so annoyed by these two that I wont give em a dime of my hard earned bling. I think J-ho is gonna start thinking being in jail with Puff DAddy looked like a stay at Paradise Hotel after what happens to her career from here.

In Like Flynt
 

Er, I was too busy looking through the Good Vibrations catalogue for, uh, mmm3587's girlfriend, um, to read my memos.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

My work here is done.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

Ten years from now, sophs will be getting together in the dorms for Evil Dead/Gigli parties.

In Like Flynt
 

Well, for the record, your full title is -- Link Poster For All Sex Toy-Related Litigation Stories And Vice President In Charge Of Disclosing Blind Date Horrors

Leagl will forward your job description to you shortly.

Slot C Action
 

Evenodds' suggestion and this one are both good, but it almost seems like too much work. I mean, it doesn't seem to bother her that she doesn't have orgasms. Which is actually the part that bothers me. And now, I'm thinking, why I am going to run around doing all this stuff when she doesn't even care. And how would I buy a vibrator? That's the kind of thing women, even non-orgasmic ones, are supposed to buy for themselves.

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

I am still around. I am trying to find a way to respond to all of the misinformation about Gigli on this site and still act my way out of a paper bag.

Go figure out how many audience members have left other movies over the last five years and see what results you get. People leave films for all kinds of reasons. Some leave for a lifestyle change. Some leave to do plaintiff's work. Some leave because they are asked to do so and theatres do a good job of being very graceful about that fact so as to allow them to find other enjoyment. It is silly to conclude that every moviegoer who left Gigli did so as a result of a "gobble gobble". The truth is that they are in the minority by a very signficant margin and that we did everything we could do to avoid them for as long as we could do so.

Do you think the other films will be able to withstand the recession and continue to employ unproductive costars, and if so, to what end and for how long? Consider the fact that Gigli did not reduce star salaries. As has been well reported in the entertainment press, we took a hit to profits instead. Many films in our position did not do the same thing.

Finally, I have no desire to fight you nor do I have any reason to wish you any harm. I am glad you and others are asking some good questions and I appreciate the opportunity to respond to some of them. But, personal attacks are unwarranted and I do not condone some of your abusive language. Recall that I came to this board to respond to some incorrect information posted about me on it.

For those who really want to know more about Gigli, I am happy to be a resource. To those who have some sort of grudge against me or our film, I am sorry, but nothing I can write here is going to change that. It does sadden me that are a few people who would like to see more folks at Gigli lose their jewelry because they appear to be rejoicing at any bad news about our film. That is unfortunate because our film has worked hard to do some good things in this community.

Give us a few months, Gigli will not only manage to keep the lights on here, but we will light up the night sky.

Love,

Ben(XLDOG)Lo

Bennifer and J-Fleck
 

See ya at Bilmore's burger shack in Jamaica. I will look for the guy in the chaps.

In Like Flynt
 

Ok, I refuse to write a job description for this.

That's just silly. But keep up the good work.

Slot C Action
 

What is a TM violation? Anyway, I should have defined clenching better. Not internal clenching, external clenching. As in, legs clenching and pushing together in tradition Tab A - Slot B action, hands forcing head in further and knees crushing my chest in Tab D - Slot B action and her hand pushing my hand and thighs crushing my hand in good ol' Tabs E through I - Slot B action.

The other kind of clenching is heavenly; hers makes me feel like I'm dying against a steel fench at a Real Madrid match.

Slot C Action
 

In case it wasn't clear from the nevermind, this is the last nail in the coffin of my recent ill-advised crush.