Can You Hear Me Now?
 

Verizon attempts to spice up its customer services with some intimate connections.

Political Spoiler
 

Those of you who want to wait for Leno, don't read this.






















Ah-nold is running for Gov in the CA recall election.

Total Recall
 

EDITED TO ADD SOME SPOILERS - L



IF NOT INTERESTED IN KNOWING ARNOLD'S DECISION YET PLEASE SKIP THIS POST



















<Arnold running for Governor>

Better run, Gray... Larry Flynt vs. Arianna vs. The Terminator vs. Angelyne vs. a congressman vs. 2-3 hundred other people including some absolute kooks. Feel sorry for Californians having to deal with this, but you can't beat it for sheer entertainment value...

Diff'rent Strokes
 

MORE EDITING BY LEAGL


SPOILERS PEOPLE SPOILERS (MORE ABOUT ARNOLD)


















Just heard Gary Coleman is running as well. Hoo boy!

Diff'rent Strokes
 

Oh, come on. He's not even the most qualified vertically challenged African-American former child star!! I'd back Manny Lewis over him any day... Mr. Coleman hung out with a criminal element during his youth.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Originally posted by TM

Originally posted by SS

Even if TM were slumming, he wouldn't touch paigow.

Mixed Messages
 

Now, I haven't read ahead, but still, I am a little surprised. I mean I know you are a self-professed wing-nut, but still. You are trying, on this board, to argue that this is an issue of "lifestyle" rather than identity? As I said, I'm surprised.

Breasticle day
 

Originally posted by leagleaze

I doubt anyone cares that disappointed. The only time the cliquish-ness is a bother is when posts make no sense without the back-channel info from IM, PM, or whatever.

If you're saying you'll let anyone submit photos but not just anyone view them, your point was about as clear as mud.


At least someone has learned from the Kobe coverage.

Slot C Action
 

Sorry to have burst your fantasies. If you like, feel free to still imagine that I am a vibrator-buying, not-joking-about-being-scared-of-women stud while you beantweak.[1]

I just see fundamental problems in buying a vibrator for someone who isn't a particularly sexual person. I am far past the age where I want to be teaching someone about how her body works and how she gets off. If I wanted, say, a fake vagina flashlight or an assplug of some sort, I would want to pick out my own. Picking out sexual toys for others is like brushing their teeth for them; it's a nice thing to do, but it can be done far better by that person for himself or herself.

And, if the woman were a fundamentally sexual person, I think she would either not desire a vibrator, have her own already or want to pick out her own. See poor analogy above.

Anyway, it's not that she doesn't masturbate; she does occasionally. I just don't think that she likes it very much, and I think it takes her a very long time and is a lot of work. She's just not adept in that area, and I don't think that she cares to learn.

So, anyway, I guess we can put this thread to bed, unless you guys want to keep talking about it or littlefb wants to keep insulting me (which is cool, it's kind of hot). I had already been pretty much sure of my decision based on the whole "not that sexually attracted anymore" issue. Also, I'm much more comfortable in relationships where my partner, even if she doesn't want sex quite as often as I do, is really enjoying it and getting her rocks off. My current partner is more concerned with quantity than quality, and the sex bores me. And, in this relationship, I think that is dispositive.

[1] My personal favorite term for female masturbation, to join threads. Derived from "tweaking the bean," a reference to the appearance of the clitoris. British in origin.

Dead Horse Time
 

Grasshopper, next time read ahead before you jump on me. I used "lifestyle" because there would have been no issue if he was gay and celibate,** hence the reference to lifestyle not identity.

**Even in fairly conservative wingnut churches there isn't a problem with a church leader being openly gay if he or she chooses celibacy.

Tab G
 

On the topic of guys who actually say stuff like that, a friend who works in a court building with several criminal courts was telling me a story about riding in the elevator with a guy who was probably a defendant (got off on the criminal courts floor, had a loud, bad suit on, kind of a sleazy looking guy, etc.).

She (a reasonably attractive woman who has clerked in the building for years, and is reasonably comfortable interacting with random criminal defendants) and another young woman were on the elevator when this guy got on. My friend said that the guy looked them up and down, and then said, "We could have fun, the three of us." My friend just rolled her eyes, but the other woman, after the guy got off, asked my friend what he meant, because she was so naive that she just didn't get it.

My friend saw this guy again later in the day, and asked him if lines like that ever worked. He said that the success rate was low, but that it was worth it to him to get rejected dozens of times a day for the times that it worked.

I guess if you don't mind rejection and don't have any moral reservations about propositioning women in a way that many would consider offensive, it might be the way to go.[1] At least it's less disrespectful than "You. Here."

[1] After all, this is basically the life of a salesman, except replace women with people.

Total Recall
 

My god, leagl.

This ain't reality TV. Nobody's voting Arnold onto the Island. This is real life. Spoilers? 'Cuz someone might want to WAIT to hear actual honest-to-goodness NEWS?!

Let 'em wait until somebody makes it all into a TV movie, if they want infotainment.

Damn junkies.

;)

Tab G
 

Out of curiosity, why would it be offensive to merely ask, point-blank and without guile, if someone wanted to have sex with you? I don't see any insult in the question - actually, it's a compliment.

No Slot C Rippage
 

1. Oh no, a puck bunny.

2. Was it Ken Phelps?

Menu Question
 

Let's say one was holding a dinner party for say, 200 of one's friends and relatives. The question is, what soup, Tomato Basil or Mushroom Asparagus, would go better with the following menu:

Endive and frisee salad with a honey/red wine vinagrette and a goat cheese crostini

Surf n' turf deally: Filet mignon with roquefort and halibut filet with beure blanc

Red velvet cake.

FYI: The Mushroom Asparagus soup was subtle, the Tomato Basil was less so.

Help me out here gang, which one would you go with?

Menu Question
 

Mushroom Asparagus. I don't like basil. Can I sit close to the door? I like to sneak out for a cigar after a meal that big.

(Edited to add) - Tomato basil is going to be a safer bet for 200 people. Few people actively dislike that, while a significant percentage of people dislike mushroom. Plus, it's a lighter soup, and the following menu seems to call for lightness to begin. Finally, the non-subtlety will be a plus as it competes/interacts with some fairly distinct flavors to come. Subtlety might get lost.

(Edited again to add) - OK, I edited this while Fugee was posting, and wasn't just copying her. Honest.

(Edited one last time - really, I promise - to add) - Keep in mind, you now have advice from two people who come from a land where people dry dead cod into a board-like hardness, soak it in hot lye in order to burn it into fish jello, and eat it with butter. This may not be your best source.

Menu Question
 

I'm partial to mushroom soup (hadn't thought about asparagus with it) and don't like tomato soup so I'd be an easy call for me. But (1) I've heard more people complain about not liking mushrooms than tomato soup and (2) tomatoes are acidic and so is the viniagrette so you might be able to keep the same wine for both courses and the mushroom might need a different wine (is it a cream based soup or are the mushrooms and asparagus in a broth? -- that might make a difference). Check with a sommelier on the wine dealie.

Will the party be at a time when asparagus is in season? You can get it year round but it always seems better in the spring.

Edited to say that Bilmore is right about it being a big meal. Maybe the soup should be something lighter like a consomme.
What are the veg/starch accompaniments to the surf & turf?

No Slot C Rippage
 

In yet another weird coincidence, I spent last night dreaming I was in this fabulous apartment in Paris, where they have no AC, but triplexes are $1800 a month. Carlos Moya was there. With his daughter whose mother was 13 (this is the dream,not reality). Having just had a series of Mark Phillipoussis dreams where I do not do hiim bc I think all he wants is sex, I send Moya vibes. He tells me he would like to fuck me and we do, over and over again.

I guess all this means is that if Kobe wantd me to open up slot C, I would say yes.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Um, and you are .. . . ? (besides clearly not going to be viewing FB tits I mean)

edited by Not Bob to fix (I think) the quote codes -- paigow, let me know if I got it wrong.

Breasticle day
 

oh, nevermind, it is the misogynistic and unfunny coup d skek in anothe one of his no life late night posting series. ignore list time.

Total Recall
 

Yeah I was overcautious, oh well ;)

Menu Question
 

I'd go with the tomato basil, because I hate mushrooms, and so do a lot of other people.

Where's my invitation?

Menu Question
 

Whatever you pick, don't worry about it afterwards--everyone will enjoy your lovely menu and have a great time so just relax.

As you can tell, I have helped many people through their pre-party freakouts. Having tragically wasted an hour of my own life bawling over family guest-list pressure, I completely called it a day on wedding madness thereafter and had a blast. :D

Menu Question
 

I'd go with the mushroom, because I love them, and so do a lot of other people.:D

Menu Question
 

I would serve the Mushroom Asparagus.

Of course, it depends on the season. I think tomato for spring/summer, mushroom for fall/winter.

Certainly, some people don't like mushrooms, but some people don't like any one thing you may be serving.

Slot C Nation
 

Sparse offerings on TV last night, so in a fit of desparation, caught "The E! True Hollywood Story: The Hilton Sisters".

My question is this: Are there even other contenders for the title of 'show that leaves you most curious as to WHY it was even considered, let alone brought to air'?

It was entertaining enough to watch, but there's more substance in a Coors Light ad. The subjects are young, rich, apparently parentless* and reasonably attactive, but that's it. They haven't done anything! No achievements in the popular culture (a couple photo spreads and Paris' couple of minor screen credits don't count), the arts, business (ooh, Nicky designed a handbag). Even their controversial behavior is bush league. A catfight with Shannen Doherty? Who hasn't had one of those?

I was most disappointed by the relative lack of footage (they kept repeating the same visuals over and over), particularly caught-in-the-act sleaze. Maybe that's a tipoff that it was, um, a little too soon to be broadcasting a 'True Hollywood Story' about these people?

P (I'm just sayin') D

* yeah I know they have parents, maybe I'm just envious that I didn't get to party all night when I was 12.

Menu Question
 

all the other comments raise good points- but left out the 200 people. "subtle" is for a small dinner party- its tough to maintain subtle at 200 bowls. go with tomato.

Menu Question
 

I don't think you could get the 200 people in the room to agree on who had the best fries - Mickey D's, BK, Wendy's, etc. much less agree on a soup.

Not everyone will be able to eat/enjoy everything on your menu due to dietary restrictions, food allergies, personal likes and dislikes. Go with what you want.

Menu Question
 

True enough. Honestly, I don't like tomato soup either. But, when you invite me, I'll happily pick at either one, just to make you happy.

Menu Question
 

I recently went to a wedding where I had cold penne pasta covered with the equivalent of Ragu and a limp salad. Had fun anyway and didnt care bc it was all the booze you could drink. Please talk about something more manly,. str8, before you are permanently off the crush list. This is just very unsexy. and I dont want a bored full of wedding food posts today.

who won HOH on BB4 last night?> I missed the end.

Bennifer and J.Lo
 

CNN says that they did not split up. Darn.

Menu Question
 

Mushroom asparagus. It's the only option that will work with the rather earthy but not heavy flavors in your menu. Tomato basil has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of your meal, too bright and acidy. I am presuming it will come before the salad, which will also give you a nice "hot cold hot" rhythm, but it doesn't really matter in terms of the choice.

But PJ's right - don't worry about it, fretting about the soup is definitely one of those things that gets you minimal marginal return. Six things will go wrong that never even occurred to you, and it just won't matter.

Menu Question
 

I would go with tomato. I don't like mushrooms or anything that has touched mushrooms. Then again, I don't love tomato soup but being a pretty strict vegetarian puts me at a distinct disadvantage at these type of events (which is why I don't do them -- of course, it isn't like I regularly get invited to anything) so I always appreciate it when the host chooses an easy soup that I can at least nibble at so that I do not completely starve with only a small salad (salads at these events are normally not, shall we say, filling).

Of course, you don't have to worry about me because I will come with my cooler full of brewskies and sit in the corner and drink all night so as long as you have some nuts or pretzels I won't need the soup and salad (hell, I can bring my own peanuts -- I'll keep the shells in a semi-neat pile). When is it? Can I bring a date? How about my kid -- he won't be much trouble as long as he has somewhere to run around? Will there be a television in case it conflicts with a game I wanna watch? Underwear optional? Don't worry, I won't be a wallflower -- I will definitely let everyone there know that I am your good buddy! :D

Menu Question
 

Huh. I thought that, when one was offering menu choices at all, many people generally provided a few vegetarian meals. Having friends & family who are (i) quasi-kosher-keeping jews (i.e.: kosher at home and they will eat at non-kosher restaurants with goyim, but avoid ordering the bacon cheese burger), (ii) muslim, (iii) vegetarian, (iv) vegans and (v) some weird macrobiotic shit I don't understand, I just get some vegetarian thing for them, plus a couple extra for the unexpected, and warn the caterer who they are or where they are sitting in advance so you don't put "vegetarian" among the general menu choices and get everyone whose suddenly decided they're on a diet or ate too many canapes eating the real veggies' food. The caterers usually come up with either some pasta thing, or some grilled vegetable thing, which is usually unimaginative but fine.

Bennifer and J.Lo
 

I hope this is true, for it restores meaning to my existence. However, I remain skeptical:

"The magazine 'Us Weekly' followed that story with a report of its own this week quoting Ryan Haddon, the wife of actor Christian Slater, as saying they and actress Tara Reid had joined Affleck at the club on July 17, the same night a tape was shown of he and Lopez together on "Dateline NBC" talking about their movie and real-life romance.

Haddon told the magazine their entourage, including several strippers, also returned to Slater's rented home for a private after-hours party. But contrary to the Enquirer report, Haddon said Affleck was a model of fidelity during the entire evening.

"Ben did not cheat," she was quoted as saying. "He did not have sex with anyone. Ben was listening to music, hanging out, talking to people, that's it." "

Yeah, right.

Clarification.
 

Allow me to reiterate for the record that, of course, no civilized person EVER accepts hospitality for the food, and therefore, of course, what food is served is entirely irrelevant, regardless of dietary restrictions, religion, or dire life-threatening allergy. Everyone is there for the conversation, of course, and will eat what might be provided, or not, and if they are or will be hungry and know they can't eat just about anything that happens to be put in front of them they always eat before going out.

That said, it is easy to get a caterer to throw in a few vegetarian main courses.

Bennifer and J.Lo
 

That Ben chose a night with a pack of skank strippers over a night with the most celebrated and admired ass in the business I think would be enough to tick off JLo. What the fuck does he want, a thank-you note from her?

Anyway, she shouldn't have any trouble scoring herself a more docile man-ho.

Bennifer and J.Lo
 

She claimed yesterday she was misquoted, but declined to say which part.

Menu Question
 

This is probably for a wedding. Given that I've read* that asparagus tends to make ejaculate rather funky and off-tasting, it might be better for the bride (and any of her bridesmaids who hook up with random dudes at weddings) if you go with the Tomato Basil. Just a thought.












*Will Wonk or Sidd be the first to post "Sure you "read" that"

Slot C Nation
 

Just wait until the Green Acres-esque reality show with Paris.

---- Coming SOOON!!