No Slot C Rippage
 

Yes.

the glass is half full
 

And as a bonus, she's a cheap date. Not like she eats or anything...

Strip City
 

1. No.

2. Sort of. But it's more of a "I was a stripper and I got into the sisterhood thing because I danced for a while at the Lusty Lady, but I'm still not sure about why I got into it and I'm going back to come to terms with what stripping really means." It's also a "I'm very interested in the history of stripping and the stories that are out there so I'm going to look a little deeper and ask a bunch of strippers for their stories."

3. On the front cover there's a picture of a made up eye and back inside cover there's a picture of the author. She's busty.

4. Not unless you've had a sex change since I last saw you.

Strip City
 

I've read it too. I liked it.
In the same vein (the "stripping is interesting historically + sort of empowering blah blah blah "vein) I started reading the "Sisters of Salome". I don't know how a book about stripping could be one of the most boring books ever, but it is. I gave up halfway. Would not recommend.

Update on Tongue Splitting
 

Toungue spliting illegal in Illinois.

No pictures.

the glass is half full
 

yeah but she makes up for it with all the cigarettes and cocaine. It could end up being quite expensive.

No Slot C Rippage
 

Don't say that until you've seen the particular Tab A.

Update on Tongue Splitting
 

Not really illegal, you just have to go to a Dr. or dentist. I foresee a new medical specialty in Ill.

No Slot C Rippage
 

I have. It almost worked, too. But then Penske was too drunk to get it up.

TISVVWWT (There is something very very wrong with that.)

No Slot C Rippage
 

Do you ever sit at work, doing really boring document review and think to yourself, "Man, I could go for a really wild fucking right now?" Like I want to go down to the sidewalk and find some Big Tex coming back from Au Bon Pain and just invite him up to the office for a few minutes.

This just in
 

OK, seems like I'm head of the Charlie's Angels committee even though I have not seen the movies. Well, it was free on HBO, but even then, 20 minutes was all I could take.
And knowing that this will send half of you out to "Google" here goes....


Aug. 7 — Cameron Diaz’s lawyers are fighting tooth and nail to keep nudie pics of her from going public — and some are wondering why, seeing as how the Internet is loaded with provocative shots of the star. A SIMPLE GOOGLE SEARCH of “Cameron Diaz nude” turns up numerous sites that show multiple photos of the actress — or someone who looks an awfully lot like her — in various states of undress. (Scoop warning: some of these sites have added features or pop-up ads that are downright nasty.) “Cameron is sweet,” says a source who knows her “but let’s face it, she’s not Mother Teresa and has not been shy about showing her body on a number of occasions. Those must be some pretty wild shots.”

Please someone let me know if the pop-up ads are truly "downright nasty" or if these people are just sensitive.


I hate Cameron Diaz anyway

No Slot C Rippage
 

Tab A on the only guy who asked for Slot C was, ahem, well, really, ah, big in both girth and length.

Is there an average size to Tab A, or have I been lucky enough to date men who are mostly* well endowed?

Anne
I've run the gamut from "Will the condom to stay on?" to "OH MY GOD! Will the condom fit?"

the glass is half full
 

good, more for me.

No Slot C Rippage
 

I don't think we have Au Bon Pain here. At least not in my end of the tunnel.

No Slot C Rippage
 

You'll just have to wait til Breasticle Day to find out.*

SS
*Not Kobe

Axis of Weasel
 

Bush-bashing playing cards have been removed from eBay, but an exec there says it’s nothing political. “Axis of Weasel” playing cards featuring George Bush and various members of his team who supported the war in Iraq were removed from the popular on-line auction site, and the artist says it happened after conservatives complained. But a spokesman for eBay tells The Scoop that the cards were a possible copyright infringement, using unauthorized images of people for profit. He wasn’t able to explain why the “Axis of Weasel” cards featuring anti-war celebs, such as Susan Sarandon and Michael Moore, were still posted. . . .

Tales from Craig's List
 

Okay, it's not about sex toys or dating hell but I just read this posting on Craig's List that I had to share since it made me laugh out loud. The topic of the day seems to be weird 1-night stand stories.

"So I am in FLa on vacation and I meet this smoking hot chick, we get along great, drink alot and hit the beach to fool around. We were rolling around getting pretty hot, and I started to finger her and play around. I wasn't sure why but she wouldn't let me screw her, but almost let me eat her out, almost. Anyway after quite a bit of that it got late, and we parted. I had to walk along way home and on the way I would put my fingers up to my nose to smell the remenants of her. I remember people looking at me strange, and when I got back to the hotel, the people at the desk were looking at me like I was some kind of freak. Well in the elevator a couple got off, and I started sniffing my fingers again, but then I noticed my arm was soaked in blood, and I had it on my chin and nose, I looked like I just murdered someone, God that was gross..."


Obligatory link

Laurel Canyon
 

Since ReTex has given me a book recommendation, I'll respond with a movie recommendation. Watched Laurel Canyon last night, with Frances McDormand. Absolutely superb.* I think this one went straight to video, which is sad. It included perhaps the sexiest scene in recent movie history, where the lead male and the hot supporting actress he's desperately trying not to sleep with (due to him being engaged to someone else) talk about their fantasies about each other........




*I was fairly well toasted last night, so YMMV.

Tales from Craig's List
 

Wow. You must have had some really awful dates.

Tales from Craig's List
 

Maybe I should have said it's not about MY dating hell...

Tales from Craig's List
 

Oh come on. This is like reading Penthouse forum...I can't believe this really happened to me....

YOu wouldn't notice something running down your arm? Really? How high would you have to be?

Menu Question
 

You obviously missed my posts a few months back about telling my cousins that no kids will be allowed at the reception. I have a feeling that a group of FBers would add a lot of panache to this party and be much more fun than my family and motley assortment of friends.

Tales from Craig's List
 

Yes, lets pick this apart shall we.

One, she is bleeding and getting fingered so , no tampon. So either she has a pad on or nothing (which is unlikely in both instances). If I am wearing a diaper no way am I pulling my pants down or hiking my skirt up, for a stragner, on a beach. And if I have nothing on, no way am I just walking around with nothing, just leaking.

Second, blood feels different than juice- its stickier.

Third, I am all about sex on the rag- great for cramps- but I wouldnt except a guy to be fingering me for awhile when I am bleeding. And no way is he "almost" gonna go down on me.

FOurth, I dont go to third base with strangers while bleeding (or didnt back when I called it third base and these folks sound like kiddies)

Five, if he is smelling his fingers, blood and juice smell different. Just ask Debtslave.

Six, if blood is on his face, he feels it. Period. No pun.

And lastly, Sparklehrse, you thought this sotry was laugh out loud funny? I was squicked. What kind of perv are you?

Menu Question
 

What the hell are you TALKING about? I said that you could take it to the bank that Dana wouldn't get a single vote. No respect, no respect at all.

The "no-Scott" thing is in keeping with Big Brother tradition. What was the name of the crazy guy who held the knife to Krista's throat, saying "would you mind if I killed you?" Was he "Justin" as well? Anyways, after he was gone, there was no trace that he'd ever been there.

Laurel Canyon
 

I was this a couple weeks ago, and while Frances McDormand's performance was good, the movie itself was soooo fucking formulaic -- "rich, sheltered girl, exposure to ooooh 'sex, drugs, and rock n roll,' oooooh experimentation and participation, ooooh problems ensue, and some silly family dymanics, and the obligatory women = evil, while men = not quite so evil, blah blah blah and so on."

I spent most of the movie trying to remember in what I had seen the boyfriend b/c his acting was so annoying.

Menu Question
 

I think that TF remembered and was funning with you. See, I do have the ability to say something nice about TF.

Tales from Craig's List
 

First of all, I obviously have NO idea if this is true or not. The motivation people have to make up shit and post on the internet is baffling to me.

Second, how is this any grosser than reading about how you want to lure some random Texan into your office? Because it involves menstrual blood?

Tales from Craig's List
 

I was confused as to how his arm got coated in blood. Was it trickling down? Thinking it through now though, I don't really want to know. And the story fell apart for me with the sniffing the fingers thing - so he had his hand up by his face several times and never noticed there was blood on it? Whatever.

Tales from Craig's List
 

Yes. You are astute. Random one night stands with smoking hot chicks or guys = hot; random one night stands with blood all over your face and arm= not.

Menu Question
 

Much more relaxing when it's all grownups. Be prepared though--two of our closest friends stopped speaking to us (forever, apparently) when they invited their child to our wedding and we told them sorry, we didn't invite any kids and none can come. Sad, but as the choice and fault was theirs, we got over it.

Menu Question
 

Did they actually show up with their children? Or was it more, "little tommy's looking foward to it. see you tomorrow." at which point you were forced to lay down the law.

Good lord either way.

Menu Question
 

They couldn't have been that close if they ignored your wishes. You're probably better off anyway, those are the kind of people who will bring junior to a movie, and then back to your house to let him "play" with your crystal and spit on your silk pillows. Besides they probably called you a baby hating bitch behind your back.

Str8 - really, can't we come to the festivities?
And bag on the soup. You've already got too much food for most people to eat - people just want alcohol and wedding cake.

Laurel Canyon
 

Like I said, YMMV.

But....

is an odd view. Ah, well -- Guess it's good that I got juiced up for the movie....

Tales from Craig's List
 

Well, yes.

Menu Question or Flash Mob?
 

Could this be the FB Flash Mob event?
Let's all show up and ask for soup.

Menu Question
 

Actually, I do hate babies, unless they belong to relatives or pals--then I'm just bored senseless by them. But this was an older kid we really liked and otherwise happily spent time with. The parents responded to our invite to "Jane and Bob Doe" with a "Jane, Bob and Junior will be attending" so we had to speak up.

And agree on the cake. Everyone likes that.

Menu Question or Flash Mob?
 

Menu Question
 

Speaking of, are there two cakes, a wedding cake and a "red velvet cake" (is that what it was?)?

Is there a need for two cakes at a wedding? Or, for that matter, dessert + wedding cake. I've never really understood why things come out that way so often at weddings. Or do caterers just want to ram the stuff down folks' throats?

I say, damn the cake and get the bar opened back up sooner.

Axis of Weasel
 

By its very definition, art cannot be purchased on eBay.

Anyway, a California high school teacher already beat this Canadian guy to the punch with "Operation: Hidden Agenda" playing cards. Only $9.95 a pack, and the design is much better.

Laurel Canyon
 

You know Sidd, when I read you adding this pointless cliche to a post, I picture a nerdy, unsocialized man talking in a nasal pitch not unlike that of Gilber Gottfried.

From Good Fuck to Gottfried. Nice going.