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Some cakes are primarily decorative, and to hold up the weight of all the sugar flowers, etc., the actual cake is the consistency of wood and tastes like crap. And because it's expensive, then they have a cheap sheet cake to serve the guests.

This is shocking and horrible. I demand both art and flavor from my desserts dammit!

WTF is a 'red velvet' cake anyway? It sounds squickily bloodlike.

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For the record, that's not the reason that we aren't speaking to you. It's because you can't get along with Thurgreed -- Jane's still pissed about that.

Not ("for God's sake, Not Bob, why does she bicker with him? Why the hell doesn't she just patronize him like the rest of us do?") Bob

Tales from Craig's List
 

Paigs,

I disagree.

A friend of mine got fingered by a dude a few years back in a very drunken state and forgot she had a tampon in at the time. I guess the guy was an idiot, because somehow he managed to push the tampon way up inside her. A few days later she noticed a rather unpleasant smell. She went to her gynecologist, who promptly removed the tampon which was wedged up there somewhere.

I threw a party one year when my folks were away. Some random chick shows up and hooks up in the sun room with a friend of mine on a white sofa. Next morning I get up and go down to the sun room to find a white sofa with blood stains that looked like someone had sacrificed a chicken in the sun room. You'd be amazed at how much a professional cleaner charges to clean furniture upholstery. I nearly killed my friend and the chick.

S(so although I doubt Sparkle's story's truth, it could happen)D

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A cake served with Tomato Basil soup on a beach in Florida. It's fingerfood.

Laurel Canyon
 

Oh well. Perhaps things will go better on another day, with another of your personalities.

btw, for the record, it was "Great Fuck", not merely Good.

Menu Question
 

Yes. You give the shitty cake to people give bad gifts.

Laurel Canyon
 

Of course.

On the subject of recommendations, I read "Under The Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakauer over the weekend. With the recent religion-bashing hereabouts, this book might be popular. It revolves around the murder of a zealot polygamist's wife (one of them) and child. The book is disturbing and interesting, but Krakauer seems to lose it, in a cohesiveness sense, in several areas throughout the book. So I cannot really recommend it.

Thank you for your valuable time.

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That makes sense. So basically everyone gets one type of cake. Two pieces of cake at a wedding seems a bit much. Even if you need the carbs for the Electric Slide. Or even the Boot Scootin' Boogie.

No pun. Seriously.
 

BB4 Spoilers:












I thought you meant that Dana would not get a single vote, as in, they would all vote off Jun. They vote for who they want off, right?

Anyway, since you called it perfectly, full props. What's your prediction the new HoH's nominations?

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This is non-responsive but, at my wedding we had a four tiered cake with a different type of cake for every tier. I had a piece of each, and others were welcome to. Worked out well (esp for the piggy bride). That was the one thing I wanted for my wedding - lots of cake!

(and booze, of course - and a TV in the back room to keep track of the Leafs game - it was the playoffs after all)

Menu Question
 

It's a common groom's cake.

Uh, not for common grooms, but were groom's cakes traditional, it would be a traditional groom's cake.

Laurel Canyon
 

Whoa. Paigow and Sidd? I seem to have a gap in my FB history.

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I have seen two cakes -- bride's is white, groom's is chocolate. I suppose you could do a red velvet cake but I think they tend to have white frosting as well. Oddly enough, the last several weddings I've been to have had FANTASTIC cakes. Most of them had TWO fantastic cakes.

But now most people seem to be married, alas. Maybe they will start getting divorced and remarried and will get the cakes for the second marriage from the same place as the first. I can only hope.

Laurel Canyon
 

1) Dude, get your own material. You are getting Thurgreed's coatiails all dirty.

2) Thats not what Lester told me.

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I rest my case. Good cake is important to good people.

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Fringey, while your second paragraph mitigates the problem, I am still shocked to see you posting about wedding cake.

For fuck's sake. Take it to ivillage.com, people!

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See, that doesn't seem odd. Just a big wedding cake with variety. What struck me as odd was having, essentially, a dessert plus a wedding cake.

Laurel Canyon
 

My my, someone's got her thong in a bunch today.

And despite loving Lester as I do, no, I haven't gone there. Can't tolerate the idea of sleeping with a guy who apparently will nail any woman, no matter how skanky.... with one obvious, and oh-so-pissed-about-it, exception.

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It's not about celebrating the relationship. It's about eating good food, drinking good liquor, and hooking up with cute guys. I just don't tell the bride/groom about that. Most of the time. Sometimes. I don't tell them if they are a relative but not a friend.

Edited to say, actually I now recall that one of my best friends had crappy food and cake and the guy I would have hooked up with had to leave during the reception. I have remained friends with her, but am considering hosting the reception for her second wedding (if any).

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Christ, I'm usually three sheets by the time I get to the cake.

Closing the bar for dinner really pisses me off.

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So what type of cake do you suppose Ben & JLo will have at their wedding. I bet it will be delicious!!!

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People DO that? That's just wrong.

I can appreciate good cake even drunk.

Recalling again, that the very good friend only had wine at dinner and even after the dinner. But I think every one of the groom's friends had brought one or more bottles of hard liquor to the dinner/reception so we were well-supplied.

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It's all about the cake. I don't care if someone's posting about their slobbering infant's deadly-dull first birthday bash--how can a post about dessert ever be bad?

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That's why I'm surprised by the amount of posting on the subject. If you are not the bride, the groom, or the caterer (or the mother of any of the three) and you can recall anything about the wedding cake, you don't know how to have a good time at a wedding.

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I did not get to eat the cake at my first wedding because I stopped at a bar for shots of Goldschlager (ugh) on the way from the ceremony to the reception and then drank a bottle of tequila with the only person at the reception that I liked (a college friend who also had shown up late to my shower with a gift of crotchless panties and a peek-a-boo bra which almost gave my soon to be mother-in-law (fucking cunt) a heart attack). For my second marriage we went down to the courthouse one day and got married by a judge -- no cake but I had to go back to work anyway. I did not eat cake at my sister's wedding because I was outside getting into a "shoving match that almost turned into a fistfight" with some piece of shit kid who I once babysat for -- luckily I had chosen my own maid of honor dress which permitted such activities. I hate weddings so I normally just send a check.

I don't worry about closed bars -- I bring my own cooler of brewskies with me everywhere I go.

edited to wonder aloud how the tomato basil versus asparagus soup turned into weddings -- I don't recall Str8 saying that this dinner is for a wedding. Did I black out again?

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I wasn't sufficiently precise. I should have written that I was surprised that fringey was posting about anything wedding-related.

And who posts about their slobbering infants on the FB?

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Some of my most drunken debauched hookups have occured at weddings. But I tend to always remember the cake. I love cake.

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POTD

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I've seen it pretty regularly. It seemed aimed specifically at controlling the very people who would abuse it. Most people were able to load up before dinner, coast through the dinner itself on the liberally poured wine, and then get back to full-on boozing as soon as the table was cleared.

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Sisters under the skin. But I don't wear the weird-looking hats or talk funny.

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Next time I am too shy to slug someone who sorely needs it, you're hired. Beer's on me!

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Can you open PDF files? Str8 will be PMming you an invite forthwith. As will we all.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

I was addressing your joke in conjunction with your earlier PC rant about. I assumed the joke was an extension of your earlier argument.

TM

Laurel Canyon
 

Whatever you say, Gilbert.

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ditto.

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I had a chocolate velvet groom's cake, but then again, I was an exceptionally uncommon groom.

No Slot C Rippage
 

I don't like it or talking about it, and I have often wondered myself whether that many men really enjoy it. Why is Howard Stern so fascinated with it? Why is there so much of it in porn? Is it because more men like it than I think, because men who are the bulk buyers of porn disproportionately like it, or because the producers/directors are out of touch with what we really want?

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He never said it. Skillful lawyers that we are, we inferred it, you drunk.

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Sure, I will add them to my pile of "who the hell is this kid" graduation invitations that I received earlier this year.

I don't want to get off on a rant about the appropriateness of sending graduation invitations halfway across the country to unrelated people you know cannot make it to the party and haven't seen you or your kid in over 10 years, so I won't. But I will say that they should save the printing and postage and just send a simple postcard saying "send some fucking money." Oh yeah, and just because you know my parents doesn't mean that I give a shit about your child's graduation or marriage or sex change or parole or whatever "special" event you want me to contribute to.