Gaping Specialists and Fat is the New Black
 

I've seen a lot of Bears -- a former GF worked in the hotel in SF that hosted the Bears convention every year (which led to some very interesting encounters with random tourists from flyover land). By an large, I wouldn't describe them as particularly masculine -- these are not hairy body-builders, but hairy butterballs.

Of course, that was several years ago, so YMMV. And NTTAWWT.

Alphabet Soup
 

Some women like the taste.

And I'm told that there is a pretty broad range of taste, from the foul salty blech to sweeter than cream (this last bit of info by a gay man who'd sucked more dicks than I've seen).

Gaping Specialists and Fat is the New Black/ Business Plan question
 

Gilbert

Werent you the inspiration for Large Sweaty Hairy Man? Where is he? In Hedonism with chris?

And on a totally unrelated note, I am looking for recommendations on either an excellent how to book on business plans or an excellent how to website on business plans. I have had this idea brewing Rather than tie up the board, feel free to PM or IM me. thanks!

Alphabet Soup
 

I've been told that most dislike the texture (although few have claimed to like the taste)...

Unbelievable
 

Oh, if I only still had my smurf collection!! Maybe we could work out some sort of deal without having to get eBay involved?

Other collections I had growing up:

keychains (boring)
painter's hats (odd)
friendship bracelets (goofy)

Yes, the smurf collection clearly wins.

TM, I'd like to set the world's record for most vacation days used while still collecting a paycheck. Alas a paralegal that I work with has a huge head start on me.

Gaping Specialists and Fat is the New Black/ Business Plan question
 

Indeed I was -- that was among my very first posts. I'm so touched that you remember, except that makes it clear how bad you want me, so now I'm looking over my shoulder for stalkers.

But anyway. Yes. Unfortunately, I never figured out who the Large Hairy Sweaty Man really was....

Alphabet Soup
 

I have yet to encounter splooge that didnt smell and taste like clorox bleach. i clearly need to learn how to get the vivid imagination of a gay guy. the texture is pretty hard to swallow too. the only good thing about it is how happy it makes your man and how you feel like such a goddess for doing it. thats it.

More About J Ho
 

Saw in today's paper that they are making a Hollywood version of Shall We Dance?, a charming Japanese movie, to star Richard Gere and J-Lo.

I think I'd rather discuss corn with SD than see this tragedy.

I Like Foamy
 

http://www.illwillpress.com/rant.html

Flash. And Foamy uses the word "fuck."

Alphabet Soup
 

My psycho-ex got really pissed off the one time I did her the "courtesy" of not coming in her mouth.

God, sometimes I miss her.

Alphabet Soup
 

If I had any friends they might tell me that there's also a gag reflex issue. Suddenly you've got this warm goo in your already- full mouth, and the medicine doesn't always go down so easily. Not a very sexy feeling. And the longer it sits there on the back of your tongue, the more time you have to contemplate the less than ideal taste and texture. And there are some who like to see the money shot. Fruits of our labors, so to speak.

FRIDAY POLL
 

You have my sympathies on your insomnia.

As for world records, one of my favorite things to do (and one thing I am very good at) is doing nothing - that is - standing like a statue completely motionless for hours on end. At one time I used to make money at it - stores in malls would pay me to stand in front of them in clothes from the store while people tried to get me to blink or move etc. (Of course, when you have an audience, sometimes you have to move to please them or else they lose interest).

It's really a great job if you enjoy daydreaming, or getting so motionless that you get into a sort of trance-like state. I can fall asleep with my eyes open, so that came in handy. I used to like to see how long I could go, so sometimes I would go for 8 hours standing completely still. That gets difficult without a pee break so you do have to plan for it.

Anyway, people used to tell me that I should attempt a world record. I think the world record is at about 35-40 hours and I'm not sure I'm up for that. Mind you, I think the person who set it did it with his eyes closed, and that would be easier. Not sure if he was allowed to drink some water and pee either. So one day, maybe when I am old and have nothing better to do I will try to break it.

Alphabet Soup
 

Where? It's messy that way. Sometimes for both people.

"Well don't point it at me!!"

revelation
 

So I just found out that the button in the middle of my mouse will roll up and down to scroll the page. And here I've been using the arrows on the side of the screen to scroll all this time! I feel so foolish. Why did noone ever tell me that this feature was even available on mices?!

Sorry, back to spooge (taste does vary), eBay and bears...

More About J Ho
 

This is such an abomination. When I first heard of the remake last year, I was appalled because the movie is uniquely Japanese and the entire point of the movie doesn't translate culturally.

Alphabet Soup
 

I like rubbing it on my face or body. It is actually great for the complexion. True. Plus. you get to feel like a porn star for about thirty seconds which is kinda fun without having to get the funbags sewed into your tits.

Clearly you need a new girlfriend.

Alphabet Soup
 

THANK YOU!

I was hesitant to mention that the time I got snowballed I noticed it smelled like bleach for fear that perhaps my own particular "blend" was toxic in some respect. Now I am totally relieved.

S(now maybe I'll get my liver checked - this persistent pain in my right side is probably nothing either...)D

No Slot C Rippage
 

Hmmm. So, I'm guessing Kobe is a card carrying member of 50 Cent's G-Unit?

TM

Punk'd
 

I guess someone didn't get their coffee.

Rent Fight Club and ask again.

TM

Alphabet Soup
 

If the spooger eats strawberries or eggs that day it tastes pretty good. I don't know why.

ix-nay on the cruciferous vegetables though. Blech.

Alphabet Soup
 

Yuck. Sex is so messy, it's a wonder people ever even do it! Maybe you could keep a big bin of baby wipes on the bedside table (in the kitchen, glove compartment, desk drawer, what have you) to clean up that icky splooge mess.

Every woman knows it's good for the skin.

Alphabet Soup
 

Um, have we met?

Just to clarify, I wasnt the girl who did the stirrup spelunking of your cave.

Alphabet Soup
 

If you really want to see the fruits of your labor, have your BF eat 1000 mg of Vitamin E for a few days before your next encounter. Mass doses of Vitamin E for some strange reason create huge loads. I've asked a doctor about this and he's admitted its true, but had no explanation as to why...

S(Its rather impressive - trust me... you'll be forced to comment "Hot damn, honey... you're like Ron Jeremy in his prime!")D

PS: It also seems to increase distance, if you're into measuring the "long jump."

I Like Foamy
 

now that's a helpful spree.

might as well post the article.

Alphabet Soup
 

Luckily it's not a current problem...

Alphabet Soup
 

Good for you. Otherwise I would say you should drop the overly fastidious princess in favor of a paigow princess. I think you kids would be so cute together.

Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match ...

Alphabet Soup
 

This, plus Coltrane's admission above =

Nice knowing you, Coltrane. We'll miss you in Chicago. Take good care of him, Paigow... sounds like you will.

Alphabet Soup
 

That is so cool. I'm running down to GNC at lunchtime.

But I do wonder if the E steps up swimmer production, or merely increases the volume of inactive ingredients.

Alphabet Soup
 

I guess we know what record you're going for. Damn, this could be just like the Olympics.

I Like Foamy
 

um . . . Flash?

http://www.macromedia.com/

Alphabet Soup
 

Sounds like I found a cheaper all natural substitute for the Fresh strawberry and brown sugar mask. Actually, sploooge is more like a glycolic peel- tingly for a couple of minutes.

The Men of the FB can send their checks and flowers to me on Monday when their SOs all start begging to give them head to improve their complexions.

Alphabet Soup
 

Visual image - bath tub scene in Caligula. One of the female leads was taking a bath in a tub with men actively splooging into it around her. One of many disturbing images from that movie.

Tales from Craig's List
 

Not that drunk. I think there was some exaggeration in this story, but something similar happened to me in college. Was fingering a girl who wouldn't let me shag her the day before winter break, fell asleep, got up early the next day, walked her to her bus to the airport, was waving goodbye when I noticed that my hand was almost completely covered with dried, crusted blood (especially under the finger nails). Freaked me out.

She felt very wet the night before, but she tended to get really wet. By the way, girls who get really wet are fucking hot. Girls who are on their period and don't tell you...not so much.

TM

Tales from Craig's List
 

Was this before you met the Missus, which was like last week ;-)?

DOesnt everyone get equally wet more or less when turned on? There is so much I dont know that I should probably do a six month stint as a lesbian just for the learning.

Alphabet Soup
 

That is exactly what I thought. I also think there may be an urban myth afoot.

Menu Question
 

What bickering? I haven't read one of her posts in weeks. I have them all memorized anyway: 1. "I just saw the cutest purse." 2. "He and everything he represents is misogynist." 3. "I'm a tight-assed bore."

Thurgreed(longs for the days of Cosmo and Multo)Marshall

Tales from Craig's List
 

There is a large range of wetness...I won't define the parameters -- someone else can have that joke...

Tales from Craig's List
 

Not even close. Even individual women vary at different times.



Edited to add, for Paigow's sake: YMMV (Your Moisture May Vary)

Alphabet Soup
 

How so? The blood thing? The good for the skin thing?

To wit:

Composition of
seminal plasma varies among individuals, and even in the same
individual from time to time. It contains some 30 substances (many in
minute quantities); some are produced by different parts of our male
anatomy, and some are by-products of body functions. They include:

• ascorbic acid (vitamin C, for tissue maintenance)
• blood-group antigens (from immune system)
• calcium (mineral)
• chlorine (oxidizing agent)
• cholesterol (steroid alcohol present in body fluids)
• choline (base, part of the vitamin B complex)
• citric acid (occurs during cellular metabolism)
• creatine (nitrogenous substance found in muscle)
• deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA)
• fructose (sugar used for energy)
• glutathione (peptide amino acid)
• hyaluronidase (enzyme)
• inositol (sugar found in muscles)
• lactic acid (byproduct of muscle use)
• magnesium (mineral)
• nitrogen (gas found in all living tissue)
• phosporus (mineral)
• potassium (mineral)
• purine (compound of uric acid)
• pyrimidine (organic base)
• pyruvic acid (formed from either glucose or glycogen)
• sodium (salt)
• sorbitol (body alcohol)
• spermidine (catalytic enzyme)
• spermine (ammonia compound found in sperm)
• urea (from urine)
• uric acid (from urine)
• vitamin B12 (for proper function of nervous system and metabolism)
• zinc (mineral)"

Salt, uric acid, alcohol, zinc, and chlorine aren't exactly known for making your
skin soft and smooth.

But if makes you feel loved or almost like a real person -- Keep rubbing.