Tales from Craig's List
 

and wetter is always hotter? Even when you are going down?

and a related question, the only time I am not really wet is when I am not really aroused. Are you sure this isnt the difference?

I bet you're a lot of fun at cocktail parties and in bed.

Isn't it a pretty common joke between lovers that splooge is good for the skin? That is, between lovers who are not so fastidious (or dull, or unsure of their partner's health status) that they prevent all contact with the stuff?

Is this list the order of ingredients (I hope bc I didnt know I was engaging in the uric equivalent of golden showers)? If so, let me say that Vitamin C is one of the best things you can put on your skin- it stimulates collagen production. Vitamine E is also exellent. Alcohol cleans and tightens the skin, salt acts as a scrub and chlorine dries up the bad things and overdrying is negated by the moisturizing propertes of Vitamin Cand E.

That said, I am probalby never swallowing again. Talk about TMI

Alphabet Soup
 

Strawberries?

"I don't think doodie comes out of her [Brittany Spears'] butt. I think it's more like strawberry yogurt."


--NICK DI PAOLO

That one liner and other good ones here: http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/colinquinn/

I have started enjoying this show, which was unwatchable when it started but finally seems to be hitting its stride (I credit its continued existence to the low budget and following Jon Stewart at bong-thirty). Last night some cast members from Last Comic Standing were on and it pretty much turned into "Bag on Dat." And deservedly so - I saw Dat on Leno and he sucked gaping ass. Koreans must be the funny Asians. Unfortunately, since it was on after bong-thirty, I can only recall one zinger from Corey - she said she saw Dat standing by the highway holding a sign that said, "Will work for material."

Ba da dum.

Actually, uric acid is good for the skin. Eucerin (the skin cream sold in Europe - I don't know if the stuff here has it as well) has uric acid in it. Very healing.

The fruit acid and lactic acid also help with exfoliation. As Paigow commented, it feels tingly.

The trace minerals are also thought to be good for the skin.

Well, actually I am, but I am even more of a blast at bukkake parties.

Of course it is a common joke -- even you have heard it, no?

Where the heck did you find that? What is your job? Do you have one? I thought I surfed the web a lot but you find the strangest things.

Blech.
 

Never again will I ketchup on the FB during my lunch hour. Goddamn, people.

(And someone should warn Wonk, 'cause otherwise about 4 weeks from now we'll have a problem.)

Ba da dum.

Actually, it is only when uric acid undergoes some changes after contact with the skin, but that is somewhat correct. Of course, uric acid also causes gout.

Alphabet Soup
 

I saw it last night. I think that show is really hot and cold. A lot of the people have poor delivery on it. I guess they must have such a short amount of time to prepare their spiels that they get more nervous than they would be typically. Usually comics aren't so awkward in their delivery. That said, some of the stuff is pretty funny. I didn't think that last night's show was very funny, but I didn't really follow LCS either, so makes sense...

I did enjoy the Daily Show tho, especially the opening joke about Arnold running for governor being the biggest story of the day !?!

No Slot C Rippage
 

Yez. His over-the-top gayness.

TM

PS - Tune in for next week's episode, which will be the one a friend of mine appears on (she's the gf with the annoying voice).

Alphabet Soup
 

Yeah, I know. But I still think that everyone deserves a warning and an opportunity to disengage -- provided, of course, that they otherwise finish the job after disengaging. Funny, every guy I have known claims to have experienced a girl who not only liked the taste but was ravenous for it. You don't think any of them were lying to me, do you? ;) I wonder if it was the same girl?

I got my pics back from my trip to SF
 

where we had a little FB get together. Francis and I flew out to hang with Sidd, ATty and his Asian babe, Less and the whole gang. Just got my pics back.

Here is one I love of Sidd and Francis. As you can probably tell, Frnacis doesnt really like Sidd bc he is kind of a big nerdy cliche. I think this pic says it all.

http://www.users.voicenet.com/~tobyclry/gilbert.jpg

and here is Sidd with TSlo

http://www.tvtome.com/images/people/12/0/22-10425.jpg

Alphabet Soup
 

Coulda been -- she did get around.

But hey, I'm not gonna argue with someone who felt she had to threaten to bite her husband's dick off, instead of just asking "could you please warn me before you come, I really don't like the taste."

I got my pics back from my trip to SF
 

And I was worried about being stalked? Imagine that.

Golden Showers
 

So next time my wife gets a sunburn I should piss on her?

S(I have never done the "golden shower" thing - I'd probably get stage fright)D

The Wedding Menu has been settled
 

And isn't uric acid present in high levels in asparagus? So many reasons not to eat asparagus.

Str8, go with the tomato basil -- otherwise the eligibles at your reception will not be hooking up with fringey or any other single FB chick (and the gout sufferers will curse your name, but that's much less important).

Cosmo
 

Hello, travel agent? Please cancel that trip to Kenya I had booked.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Sure I did. But I think you think I was angry at you and not just angry at the thoughts behind blaming all the problems in the world on PCers. Yeah, I said you were full of shit, but when is that out of character?

And I'm always up for a good taunting.

TM

Friday Poll
 

From Blender:

7. NINE DAYS: THAT’S THE LONGEST RICHARDS HAS EVER GONE WITHOUT SLEEPING.

He finally gave up when he fell face-first onto a hi-fi. His nose broke the fall (it still bears a small scar near the bridge). “I was doing a lot of blow,” he admits, perhaps unnecessarily, “and everything was just too interesting for me to go to bed. I was quite lucid. Then I hit the speaker. I even remember the make — it was a JBL.”


"He admits, perhaps unnecessarily."

Anyway, maybe that should be my first record to try to break.

Cosmo
 

I guess now is the time to tell everybody that the DebtSlave sock is based on my life.

And chris.

And babe_of_pigs.

I'm so ashamed.

Cosmo
 

I'm confused. Did somebody sleep with Mick Jagger or what? And I thought I was your sock.

Tales from Craig's List
 

Hmm. So let me get this straight. You were on a date, got rejected, had to tcb, fell asleep, woke up - probably took and pee, DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS, and then woke date up kicked her to the curb. Is that about it?

Blackberry
 

What makes you think I do?

Blackberry
 

"Comes in handy during depositions."

Edited to say, I may be incorrectly thinking that depositions only take place out of town.

Alphabet Soup
 

Hate to break it to you, but all of us are dosing ourselves regularly with fecal bacteria with pretty much every human contact. The fact that Sebby's chick had a somewhat browner complexion at the end of the night doesn't profoundly increase the problem.

The Straight Dope on FCB. {Spree: Nothing obscene, but don't read this is you'd like to enjoy an oral interlude any time between now and senility without a nagging little voice in your head saying "fecal coliform bacteria!".}

Alphabet Soup
 

I would rather talk about corn with Sebby than read anything futher on this subject. and I think the board agrees that I am mainly correct on this.

Alphabet Soup
 

I'm glad you picked up on that. These guys think theirs tastes good because some chick (who was also faking it) said so.
Newsflash guys, what girls say to each other is not what we'll say to you. It's not so much that you don't like the taste or the texture, it's just that you HATE it so much. It must be that penny flavor that's so offputting.

Ashcroft Must Go!!
 

Alphabet Soup
 

Plus, Atticus seems intent on killing my crush, which I cannot help but take as a personal affront. Since he has never flirted with me he has nothing to feel guilty about, so it must be because he does not want the attention from me.

Alphabet Soup
 

I love it that you remember this shit and throw it back into people's faces.

FWIW, on the fecal coliform - another nagging thing to know is that there have been tests run on grocery carts and if I find the link, I'll post, but the quantity of fecal coliform and urine on grocery carts will put you off lunch for hours. Needless to say, I haven't used a grocery cart in years and if I need more than I can carry in a hand basket - which doesn't need to touch my hands - then I'll just wait, or make 2 trips.

And another thing...what is it with people sleeping with their dogs? Do people not remember that dogs stand in their pee, or at least walk through it - and they don't shake it off, or wipe, so that crap is still on them and then they roll around on your bedspread. Is that sanitary?

Alphabet Soup
 

Iced tea is much more distrubing than grocery carts. At least you can wash your hands after toughing a grocery cart, and given all of the meat juices and salmonella and crap there is in grocery stores, one probably should anyway. I have come across a couple studies that talk about the fecal bacteria count in brewed iced tea in restaurants. Problem is that if the machine is a breeding ground because of the warm liquids stuck in there and is virtually never sanitized.

It's something I don't like to think about.

I got my pics back from my trip to SF
 

I clearly had too much to drink that night, because I can barely remember any of it.

Nice hair, Sidd.

Alphabet Soup
 

I don't understand people who are so worried about germs. Ity strikes me as one step away from the same type of behavior in the mentally disturbed (constant scrubbing, handwashing, fear of leaving the house, etc.).

Sure, there is stuff which, when you think about it, seems a little disgusting running around. There's also some inside of you. Foie gras is a goose liver! And do you really think that your washer gets all the nasties out of your drawers and towels? My dog sleeps in the bed with me. His Slot C, like those of many other animals, evolved to prevent the problems humans have with ours when it comes to hygiene. Sure, they lick their balls and don't jiggle after they pee, but have you ever heard of someone getting sick from dog urine?

I'm all for washing my hands before I eat, but there's a reason you have an immune system.

Alphabet Soup
 

I kind of figure (this is delusional, I know, but it makes me feel better so I thought I'd share) that by exposing myself to stuff regularly when I'm healthy, I'm less likely to get some weird infection if I ever get really sick. Aside from people with compromised immune systems, it seems like given that there are going to be times where we can't control what we are exposed to, it's maybe better to not suddenly be exposed to a zillion new bad things at once.

Not that I go out of my way to be exposed, but I feel no need to bring portable lysol or bleach solution with me to spray stuff down.

Alphabet Soup
 

It's a good try but somehow I think that all the germ-phobes are too busy spraying themselves with Lysol followed by a bleach dip and then retreating to their plastic bubbles.

Edited to add that I had not read Fringey's post when I wrote this.

Alphabet Soup
 

Sigh. Some women think that men are all stupid and women are all smart.

Why would a GF I had for two-plus years "fake" it when I was willing -- even trying -- to pull out? Why would she get mad at me for pulling out, when that's not what she wanted? Why the huge smile when she swallowed?

Why would the gay man lie to me about some men tasting good? He wasn't talking about me (since I hadn't given him a taste). He knew I had no interest. Or is your theory that male taste buds are fundamentally different than female.

Newsflash: Not every woman is as uptight as you. Not every woman agrees with you on every thing. Not every experience you have is common to the rest of the world.

Alphabet Soup
 

If you also wash your hands after using the bathroom, and after picking up after your dog (you do that, don't you?), and after doing the sex to your soon to be ex, then all is well.

The Wedding Menu has been settled
 

Ohhh, so that's why my pee smells funny the day after I have some nice roasted asparagus.