Who Took the Hall Pass?
 

Thanks for the compliment RP. Too bad about that cat. ;)

Who Took the Hall Pass?
 

I could lock him in the basement with the smurfs.

Will Gigli Make the List?
 

That's a funny article! Some choice quotes for those who didn't bother to click through:

As you know, Hanks has three Oscars on his resume, and he clinched the title of "Most successful actor of my generation" about five years ago. He could croak right now and he'd still be a first-ballot Hall of Famer. And you know this. That's why you might think I'm nuts with the following proclamation:

As an actor, he peaked in "Turner and Hooch."

(Note -- the dude is SERIOUS -- and has a compelling argument to back it up!)

So Travolta comes in, nails the part [of Tony in SNFever], carries the movie on his back, makes the dance scenes part of the Pop Culture Pantheon, revives the Disco Era and sends it into another stratosphere, and spearheads the definitive period piece of the late-'70s. Has there ever been a movie so closely identified with an era as "Fever" with the late-'70s? And does any of this happen without Travolta? Of course not.
That's why it made perfect sense when the Academy gave the "Best Actor" Oscar in 1977 to ... Richard Dreyfuss. For "The Goodbye Girl." I wish I were making this up.


And then in his paean to "This Boy's Life" (and an astute observation about Leonardo DeC.:
Leo DeCaprio plays a fatherless kid growing up in the '50s, only to see his Mom re-marry a borderline psychopath determined to ruin Leo's will to live (played by Robert DeNiro, of all people, in one of his last memorable performances before he started pimping his name for big paychecks). There's no way this movie gets made without Leo and DeNiro; it's one of those subtle, likable scripts that Chris Moore would have selected for Project Greenlight and butchered to smithereens. Ninety-nine times out of 100, this type of movie ends up in the wrong hands.

Well, this was the 100th time. Leo and DeNiro bring the best out of each other. You forget this now, but Hubie Brown would have fawned over Leo's "tremendous upside potential" back in the day -- after "Gilbert Grape" and "This Boy's Life," this kid was the Hollywood version of LeBron James heading into his 20s. He couldn't miss. Then he strikes big with "Titanic," and suddenly he's hanging out with a Hollywood posse and chasing supermodels every night, and a couple of years pass, and the window closes on him. He just didn't want it.

Hey, I'm not killing him. He'll still have a huge career. I'm sure he'll make a kajillion dollars; he might even be the next Hanks for all we know. I'm just saying that the Penny Hardaway-Junior Griffey warning signs are there, that's all. Rent "This Boy's Life," then rent "Gangs of New York." He was a better actor 10 years ago. This isn't good.

Gross Anatomy
 

POTW.

TM

Oops, you're right of course. I meant to say that (no, really!)

And what's with the editing out of random insults of bilmore (or anyone else who isn't me?)





Edited to fix steenking typo (or Freudian slip? Indicating exactly what I'm not sure -- but I'm sure I don't want to know.)

dtb
 

I thought it was funny that I randomly insulted bilmore in one post and in the next post Str8 quoted paigow fearing a board that consisted of little more than random insults of bilmore.

dtb
 

I think Ms. Thang was just a little insulted that I insulted her which soup should I choose post. But a board of Bilmore "results" would not be so interesting.

I thought I had a hernia recently. I went to the doctor to check it out. I didn't tell him about the SARS and the Tumor I also thought I had b/c if you ask about too many illnesses--even though you probably have them--they will not take you seriously. But he said I didn't have it and that it was really unlikely for me to get a hernia at my age and in that spot. It turns out that I was just pulled a muscle or something from too many sit ups. It just goes to show you that no good can come from ab work.

Alphabet Soup
 

(I'm beating this one to death in the hope of ensuring idle acts fully understands the depo thing)

So, RP, presumably you all live in different cities and you think she's hot -- are you going to film the girl-on-girl depo and post it on Thurgreed's special day?

Is It Art or Is It Vandalism?
 

NarcFromHere must have called the cops on these dangerous, irresponsible, anti-social assholes for committing criminal property damage.

What is the world coming to?

I pulled a chest muscle using a cheap rowing machine, then forgot. I thought the pain the next day was angina. With stress over the next week from a tight briefing schedule I had adrenilin turn the pain and stress into increasing angina. At the emergency room I learned that most nights, in most ER's there are 2 or 3 professionals in their 30's having fake heart attacks.

dtb
 

Damned typos!! I'm going to fix that -- my OCD doesn't permit any other RESULT.

This makes me feel better. I've unknowingly pulled chest muscles doing pull-ups (almost the same motion as rowing). The next day, I had so much trouble breathing I completely freaked out. I thought something was really wrong with my heart. I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't make the logical connection...

The Real Big Brother
 

IF YOU PURCHASED A NEW CELLPHONE over the past 18 months or so, odds are that one of the features listed in small print on the side of the box was "E911 capable." Or, as in the case of my latest Motorola, "Location technology for piece [sic] of mind." Perhaps you asked the salesman to explain the feature, and he replied that it means that cops can home in on your phone in case of an emergency, a potentially important perk should you ever find your hand pinned beneath an immovable boulder in rural Utah, as Aron Ralston did recently. Assuming he could have gotten a signal, an E911-capable phone might have saved the young backpacker the pain of having to amputate his own arm.

What your salesman probably failed to tell you—and may not even realize—is that an E911-capable phone can give your wireless carrier continual updates on your location. The phone is embedded with a Global Positioning System chip, which can calculate your coordinates to within a few yards by receiving signals from satellites. GPS technology gave U.S. military commanders a vital edge during Gulf War II, and sailors and pilots depend on it as well. In the E911-capable phone, the GPS chip does not wait until it senses danger, springing to life when catastrophe strikes; it's switched on whenever your handset is powered up and is always ready to transmit your location data back to a wireless carrier's computers. Verizon or T-Mobile can figure out which manicurist you visit just as easily as they can pinpoint a stranded motorist on Highway 59.

(required link)

Although I have no medical training whatsoever, the symptons sound like SARS, or possibly a tumor. I would get that checked out if I were you.

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

I've had a few fake heart attacks. A lot of them were brought on from esophageal reflux, some by partying too much and some by a combination of the two.

The best way out of these (if you don't have xanax handy) is to take your pulse. If its drug induced, don't take your pulse - you'll just get more freaked out. If you're wired, drink three or four pulls of whatever hard booze is available quickly and then lots of water (you're probably dehydrated and need a fast downer). If you have reflux, take pepcid or zantac religiously before eating spicy food or drinking. And DON'T SMOKE. Cigarettes are hell on heartburn and you'll think they're calming you down but they'll only make things worse. If its reflux or pulled-muscle oriented pain, take your pulse. You'll see that its low and that will calm you down. Also, wherever you are, get to someplace nice and cool, preferably outside or in fron of an AC unit. The colder you are, the quicker you'll feel calm (don't know exactly why this works - maybe its the same principle behind the reason they ice live crabs at the market).

And those cheap erg machines are shit - they'll fucking kill your shoulders. I used to be able to do 20 min pieces on the ergs in college with no sweat, but the cheap ergs in my gym make my shoulders feel like they're being torn from the sockets. You really have to oil those things all the time to make sure they're safe.

i had an anatomy class in high school, so perhaps i can help, some of those symptons are not inconsistant with acute fecal bacteria poisoning

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

A good rowing machine works your legs. A shitty one works your arms.

That business about Verizon is a little disturbing, but can you imagine how much computing power it would take to track and store the movements of Verizon's customers, and then to figure out what businesses, etc., are at those locations? I'm sure it could be done, but I'm not sure Verizon could raise the money to do it.

The symptoms are completely consistent with being full of shit.

Happy Friday!

Is It Art or Is It Vandalism?
 

Funny, is that the lame excuse that IBM used when they vandalized the sidewalks with their stoopid penguin logo?

Vandalism is vandalism bucko.

Oh, and tell your sock buddy Watchtower that the next time one of his "people" try to stick "reading material" in my face while I'm running for the train, someone's going to lose an arm.

Who Took the Hall Pass?
 

That's too cruel even for a cat.

Having gone to veterinary school in Bolivia, I did some research on this. The APDR* says this..."chest pains followed by mild freaking out and thoughts of SARS and tumors indicates presence of canine urine poisoning."

*Animal Physicians Desk Reference.

Alphabet Soup
 

:doh3:

Alphabet Soup
 

True enough. And c'mon people. Who among us knows a man who has not engaged in the occasional feces smearing and ingestion or who has not occasionally sucked the puss out of his own infected wounds? And it's not like every man out there (whether they admit it or not) has not downed the occasional glass of urine mixed with thick chunky menstrual blood. This whole "refusal to ingest body fluids" thing is straight up hypocrisy.

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

What is going on with the PMS? My box says I have twenty but only ten show up. It says I have one unread but no unread ones show. I keep getting the gray prompt box for having a new PM every time I click on but then I dont except that one unread one I cant get to. This is driving me nuts. I think I need to go back to just getting emailed.

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

My guess is that you had messages and read them and they are still listed as new because you have not logged out. I have had this happen before -- if I log out and then back in it says 0 new messages. YMMV

Will there be a ransom demand?
 

Who are you, what have you done with PLF, and how did you get him to give up his password?

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

What's a good personal-best to have for a 5K erg? I was never on a crew team, but I'm pretty proud of my 18:20 (accomplished as a summer associate at the downtown YMCA in LA). Any other hardcore ergers here?

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

If your box is set to showing only those messages from the last 2 days (or last 5 days, etc.), then that's all it will show. The other ten messages are still there. If you change your box to show messages from the last week ( or month, etc.), then all messages should show up. You have to adjust your box to fit everything in...

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

Truer words were never spoken.

Will there be a ransom demand?
 

I think that PLF has someone acting in his stead while he tries to get back to his fighting weight to avoid having to replace his avatar. This photo was recently leaked and shows the horrible result of consuming too many bodily fluids.

http://www.foxnews.com/images/98264/...at_cat_100.jpg

Let's all say a prayer for PLF and hope he comes back soon.

edited to point out that computer-illiterate me finally learned how to insert a photo in a post. Now if I could only figure out avatars.

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

OK, Coltrane Baggins, my box is fine and everything that goes in there has a nice snug fit. And I have it set to show all messages for 100 days so that aint it.

but thanks for playing

Will Gigli Make the List?
 

I did see Sudden Death (featuring actual footage of the playoffs) in the theater I'm ashamed to say - and still if it comes on TV and I flick onto it I tend to watch it. That was a pretty good series.

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

First you don't buy into the "wars/battles/terrorists can be fought according to the Tom Clancy playbook" and now you ignore the lessons we learned in "Enemy of the State"? Do you live in a shack in the woods???

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

Isn't it great when puns are not just self-fulfilling, but helpful as well? It's like nailing two chicks at once...

Unbelievable
 

I still have this in my collection:

http://www.unclemelon.com/ft2tease.jpg

I couldn't get much for it, though -- too sticky, apparently.

TM

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

Would you stop confusing me and Atticus, or whomever that was? I kept silent through that whole thing so that my liberal buddies (we call each other confreres lately) wouldn't know about my deep and abiding love for all things Clancy. The basement in my little shack is full of what I like to call Clancyiana, but I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that I can't wait until my little girl is old enough that I can read here Red Storm Rising at bedtime.

http://www.qis.net/~doppler/tc/tcfix.gif

My hero.

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

okay, but in the ER they gave me a muscle relaxant shot. mmmmm

Free Smokes!!
 

I took them up on it.

Funny, the line of cigarettes is called Legal (pronounced "lay-GAHL").



I will leave those jokes for bush-leaguers.

The Waifs
 

Please note: There is absolutely no sarcasm or irony in this post.

Since e/o tells me I'm not posting enough, I'm here to tell you all that my new favorite band is The Waifs. They rock. Rush to their site and buy all their albums at once, and then go see them live.