I tried to draw a picture of a Venn diagram showing the relationship between Tom Clancy fans and The Waifs' fans, but I think I busted my computer. It's smoking and flickering now.

Free Smokes!!
 

sales of the Colombian-made cigarettes have totaled about $500,000

So you have a lifetime supply of "Colombian" cigarettes? Is that legal (pronounced lay-GAHL)?

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

One can like Tom Clancy books without mistaking them as blueprints for how to run actual real-life stuff. I read trashy romance novels but do not base actual life decisions on what I learn from them. Usually. Particularly since the FB provides more detailed and valuable insight into snowballing, swallowing, kissing, blow jobs, etc. so I don't really need the parts of the books that might be transferable to actual life.

yet another request from paigow that will go unheeded though it is brilliant
 

Can Rimmer make emoticons that go SCHWING (little smiley face dicks getting hard?) and an emoticon that shows drops coming out of a smiley face brazilian? or nips hardening or something? We dont need an emoticon for gape shots though.

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

Reading about a blow job in a Tom Clancy book would be like finding prosciutto in your milk.

How 'm'I doin', e/o? Wait, don't answer that.

The Waifs
 

I'd like to congratulate Ty on surpassing the magical K in posts.

Will there be a ransom demand?
 

whoa dude, you're going to have to cut down on the beer and nachos.

And TF, I got the avatar thingy down, but have yet to successfully do the picture thingy - so between us - we're a total computer geek.

Tyrone
 

I note that you have achieved the dubious honor of being the second lamest poster, but Paigs is catching up and may pass you soon. Recall the wise words of Barry Goldwater - "let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of worthwhile posts is a virtue" (or something like that).

Tyrone
 

Paigs now has IM again and is getting tons of sexual IMs forom that perv Thurgreed so my posting may go down. I know everyone will be disappointed.

That said, I hope you all are planning a surprise party for my big K. Balloons, booze, and blow.

I got my pics back from my trip to SF
 

Shut up, fool!

Thurgreed(First name: "Mr" Middle name: "Period" Last name: "Teeeeeeee")Marshall

Tyrone
 

I would like to take this opportunity to point out to everyone, particularly Thurgreed "yo mama" Marshall, that I have demonstrably gotten the monkey off my back. I'm off the rock. I really don't know many ways to say "off the crack" in a colorful way. This leaves me feeling like a steer in a milking barn. That dog won't hunt. Etc.

I got my pics back from my trip to SF
 

You are becoming such a wanker. I can't even FIND that post from Sidd. It was HOURS ago.

Tyrone
 

"Off the pipe" usually works fine.

str(answering your drug-related patois questions since 2003)8

Eat Mor Chikin
 

Speaking of balloons and being some sort of PETA nut, you will be glad to know that the San Francisco police officer who saved the chicken that someone floated away with 100 helium balloons has been cleared of any misconduct for using an unauthorized air pistol to pop the ballons - http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...8/BA301200.DTL . Apparently, an anonymous citizen had cried "Fowl."

Tyrone
 

Apparently I didn't get off soon enough to avoid significant brain damage. Don't tell my firm.

Tyrone
 

Not to worry. You're in Texas, right?

FRIDAY POLL
 

I love you to pieces, but you really are one odd bird.

not7y(ever amazed)S

Hit the Barbie
 

Here's the chance to beat up on Barbie. Requires the downloading of Shockwave.

Barbie

Boston church offers to settle suits
 

Your tax deductible catholic church contributions at work...

BOSTON, Aug. 8 — The Archdiocese of Boston has offered $55 million to settle 542 clergy sex abuse lawsuits, an attorney for the plaintiffs said Friday.

THE OFFER CAME just a week after Archbishop Sean Patrick O’Malley was installed as head of the nation’s fourth-largest diocese.
The settlement would resolve claims from men and women who said they were abused as children by clergy within the Boston Archdiocese while church leaders routinely ignored the misdeeds. A recent report from the state attorney general estimated that more than 1,000 children were abused over four decades.
your link here

Nazis
 

So I sent an email entitled "Requisition" to our* IT department asking if they would please order the parts needed to make the (previously mentioned) PC Still with a link to the directions.

I got an email back saying I had been reported to Boss X by the IT dept.

I am waiting for the memo where I acknowledge that email is not to be used for personal purposes, blah, blah, blah, I am a bad person, and that I promise never ever ever to do that again upon threat of death. Alternately, Boss X will LOL and pass it around the office.

Apparantly the IT boys have nothing worthwhile to do today, perhaps I will download a virus or something to keep them busy. Geez.

-TL :rolleyes:

*Well, not really my IT dept since I am not an "employee" anymore, but close enough.

I got my pics back from my trip to SF
 

How's your boy E doing?

Nazis
 

Our IT department is working on it. I even went with them to the storage unit to find an old CPU to use.

Nazis
 

I should ask about this... I'm tight with our IT guys (comes in handy for this). Hell, knowing them, they've already got it set up.

Trust me people, be nice to your IT staff and that automatically puts you ahead of 95% of the other lawyers... I've had the IT head offer to hook up my MP3 at work... I'm tempted, but I think I'll pass.

Nazis
 

How true, how true. Not that they will spit on your keyboard or anything, but you will always be at the end of the queue (IT speak).

Girl Crush
 

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Anne Elk
Was it smooth or crunchy?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Thurgreed

POTW.

TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have thought about it long and hard, and Anne Elk is my official Girl Crush* for the combination of her moniker, her avatar, and that post.


*Girl Crush b/c I do not believe that Ms. Elk plays on my team, and my crush is therefore of the strictly platonic variety.

The Little Things
 

After a particularly stressful week (I really need to start watchng these reality shows for tips on how to handle the new evil-boss) I thought I'd take a moment and give thanks for the little things:

1. Odwalla Lime Quencher - this stuff is soooo yummy;
2. The Red Sox - cause they make baseball exciting even when they lose;
3. Soccer - such a great way to burn off stress, ARGH!!;
4. The FB - you guys always make me laugh and put things in perspective. It's hard to stay stressed when the finer points of corn and splooge are being debated. Now that's important stuff!
5. The SO - not that he's 'little' or anything, but he's been very sweet and understanding. I'll have to reward him with something I learned on the board this week, but not Slot C!

Off to Jury Duty - don't know if I want to get picked or not but it's a day away from the cell phone and BB.

Anne
If anyone knows me in real life - the above is so outable. If you figured it out, you know where to find me, see you at the bar!

Girl Crush
 

Ohhh, I'm so flattered Idle. :blush: My first FB crush. What a great way to end the week.

Will there be a ransom demand?
 

Find a picture online you like that is suitable. Send me the link and I'll resize it for you and then instruct you on how to use it, if you want.

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

The number of pms listed count those both in your in box and your out box. The one that says you have a new one is just a leftover from a new one until the cookie expires and resets.

If you are getting the popup box that informs you you have a new pm, and when you go to your in box you don't have any, it is because you are at the maximum number of pms you can store. You need to delete some. If you don't want to delete the ones in your in box, go to the out box and delete some of the ones in there. You won't be able to receive any more though until you get below 20 again.

A way to avoid going over is to not check the keep a copy in your sent box option unless for some reason you want to keep a copy of what you sent. The default is for it not to be checked.

The Little Things
 

1. Is it good with vodka over ice? If so, I have a new lunchtime drink over the Snapple.

2. Please beat the Yankees. Please.

3. Nothing like kicking strangers to make you feel better.

4. No kidding. Especially when the boss has just dumped heaps of work on you and goes to "a meeting."

5. Whatever makes him happy. Remember what it was like being single.

Jury duty can be fun - it beats work. Because work blows.

Unbelievable
 

Did you see the Heidi Klum spread in GQ? She does Farrah, Marilyn, Sophia, Raquel, Jayne, Madonna, Mena with the roses, and a few other sex goddesses. It was pretty well done.

Alphabet Soup
 

In true Taxwonk form, I am rather late to the party, but what makes you think the hand baskets are any better?

Or do you bring your own?

And have you considered seeking counselling about your paranoia?

E! True Hollywood Story: Jenna
 

Caught a lot of this but not all. This has to be the most untragic porn star story of all time. Her mom died when she was a kid and she had a speed problem? Boring. And there was no discussion of when she got iher implants for the first time which is a critical step in crossing the line into the porn star world.


That said, she really is a good looking girl in a trashy way and she remains my favorite porn star. I am a little bummed that she referred to her bisexualiy in the past tense. Can anyone (and by anyone, I probalby mean Less and Slave) recommend her best work? And where can I buy porn DVDs without going to a questionable site?

E! True Hollywood Story: Jenna
 

I saw snippets of this. What's the deal with her husband (and ew--he was gross even after he lost the ponytail)? Is she still fucking everything even though she is married? NTTAWWT.

Also, what the hell was that shirt she was wearing? Yuck. Furthermore, the brother's neck tat. Jenna very obviously got the looks in the family.

Tales from Craig's List
 

First of all, if you want to try your hand at translation posts, you need a lot of work. Second of all, I did get rejected since all I got was a blowjob. I didn't tcb that night but probably did the next, I did fall asleep, I did not "take and pee," I clearly never washed my hands. I did wake up but she walked herself to the curb.

Thurgreed(R.I.P. Gregory Hynes & Cosmo -- oh the humanity)Marshall

Tapped Out
 

http://entertainment.msn.com/news/ar...px?news=130808

Gregory Hines has died at age 57. Of cancer. I didn't even know that he was dying (I mean, we are all dying but I didn't know that it was imminent for him).

Tapped Out
 

This is a TM kinda complaint but whatever. Is it really necessary to post links to news that I have already been inundated with since I woke up at 530 this morning?

Also, does ANYONE know what kind of cancer it was? He has looked like hell for years.

Tapped Out
 

Waking up at 5:30 in the morning would make me sick so I can understand why you are grumpy. I didn't know that Gregory Hines had died until I saw it on MSNBC.com and thought that perhaps others were also unaware -- and I hadn't seen any mention of it here so that bolstered my belief that I was not the only one who didn't know. I have scanned a bunch of stories and cannot find any reference to the form of cancer -- just that he died on the way to the hospital.

Update on the chick with the mustache
 

I spoke of last week(?). I had said though she was mustachioed, she was straight and shacked up with some guy for about nine years. Well, this is partially correct. Apparently, she is carrying on a boyfriend sanctioned affair with this married chick. They were spotted at a party totally going at it. The boyfriend was there.

So, I guess it is true. All chicks with mustaches are gay or gayish. Go figure.

Alphabet Soup
 

Please tell me you have less than 3 cats.

TM