A variation on my favorite stupidity defense
 

Indeed it does, my good man.

I was just commenting to Alderidge Penniwinkle yesterday about using dElish in casual conversation. He tells me its this season's most whimsical quip.

Aldie regailed me with a horror story about how he had to move out of the neighborhood. It seems Briarcliffe Heights has been overrun with boorish Yalies. Looks like we'll have to move the gin game.

Ta ta,
Nanky

Elimination
 

Maybe we can send in the Air Force to knock out communications in certain Mormon population centers before next week's vote.

All I can say is, she dodged another bullet this week. She's the Nikki of this competition, except with less talent. I predict that it will come down to one person who is clearly most talented (Ruben) winning, with one of the lesser lights competing against him in the finals (Clay, maybe) due to some irrational people who think em has a certain I don't know what. :D

Unfortunately, someone more talented like Trenyce will probably not make it to the final two because of this, but in the end, cooler heads will prevail and Ruben will win.

spooky(my $.02)fish

Elvis Balfour
 

I thought I was a Penske sock.

Elimination
 

No. I don't know your momma. Furthermore, I'm afraid if I make you angry, you might steal my penis.

spookyfish

Elimination
 

I loved Clay. I really did. Till I saw him grinding pelvises with the worst singer in the world. If he'd been grinding against Kimberly Locke or Trenyce, I could have lived with it and respected him. But anyone who can even pretend to like the goat-voiced girl is now officially off my list. He can still redeem himself if he spits on her in next week's episode, but somehow I just don't see that happening.

I'm hopping on the Ruben train with Paigow. I am fickle, but so what? At least I'm not Mormon. (sorry tmdiva)

Logo; Sorority Life
 

I can draw but would have no idea how to post it so anyone else could access it. And do you all actually want it to look suspiciously like a guy's package, or not? (My parents would be so proud if my drawing were chosen.)

And is anyone else watching sorority life? WTF is with stick-up-her-ass arbiter-of-all-correct-sorority-girl-behavior Maggie? Why is it she can't tolerate anyone having a life outside of that bitchy nasty house and feels the need to rat people out for having fun?

If she were born a little earlier and in a different country, she'd've made a great little Stasi informant.

And cut Paigow some slack on the 'class' issue. If she really is that obsessed about it, she either really is from that part of CT, in which case she should have our sympathy, or she's a downtrodden wealthy-but-from-Westchester wannabe.
;)

Hockey predictions
 

No, I am Not Mulleted, NTTAWWT.

Well, I was right yet wrong about the Leafs v. Flyers game last night. It was forgotten man Alex Mogilny instead of Owen Nolan who notched a trifecta, seeing more red lights than Slave on a trip to Amsterdam.

After watching bits of the New Jersey v. Boston game, I may nominate the Devils (cue Puddy from Seinfeld in full face red make-up screaming "DEVILS!") as a possible Eastern Conference champ. In law, it's all about the Benjamins. In playoff hockey, it's all about the goaltending, and Mar-tan was amazing last night. For a pure goaltending matchup, a Colorado v. New Jersey final would be the way to go.

Not (Patrick Waaaaaaah is still the man) Bob

Can anyone draw?
 

Ay, there's the rub...

j(more's the pity)l

Logo; Sorority Life
 

Pursie,

Its a matter of principle. We can't have the proles running about acting as if they're landed gentry. Sometimes, they just need to be reminded that everyone knows they're transparant.

Think of it as maintenance work, like having the pool done this Spring,
Auchie

Hockey predictions
 

Where did Mogilny play before Toronto? I'm sure I've hated him in the past, but I get the feeling he was wearing a different sweater at the time.

I missed the 2nd period, where apparently the Flyers played well, but overall I felt they were pretty sloppy.

Elimination
 

I almost hopped off the Ruben train after that little clip with him singing the Billy Ocean song with his bitches. That would have been high camp had Clay been the Billy Ocean. Especially if he wore a Liberace jacket. I missed the Clay grinding incident. Could you tell if he was aroused? Did his eyelashes bat any faster than usual? I am assuming the goat faced girl isnt Ryan Seacrest.

Elimination
 

I forgive Ruben for that ghastly clip (also featuring the goat-voiced girl) because he clearly had no choice but to do that (and it was so bad, it was hilarious, really). I'm not sure the same could be said for the Clay/Carmen grinding. At this point all I can do is hope that he really IS gay and is trying to convice all of us otherwise. But still. Unacceptable.

And note that I called her the goat-voiced girl, not the goat-faced girl. She's not unattractive at all, I just hate her bleating voice. As big a fan as I am of this show, I have actually never loved anyone enough to pick up the phone and vote for them. But now I hate someone enough to pick up the phone and vote for everyone except her. If this show allowed us to vote for who we wanted voted OUT every week instead of who we want to stay, she would have been gone weeks ago.

Hollywood Confidential
 

I'm sorry to say it's true. I have it on no less an authority than the E! True Hollywood Story: Bewitched that Mr. Dick Sargent was, in fact, a gay. Hollywood has a rather large population of gays who pretended to be not gays in certain roles because in Hollywood it is expected that successful actors must have the ability to pretend to be something that they are not. If they don't have this requisite ability to pretend, many of them become waiters and waitresses.

In fact, many of our Hollywood icons of television and movies, particularly in the '60's and '70's hid their gayness from middle America for fear of negative career repercussions. It really had nothing to do with their names. For example.

Dick Smothers - not a gay.

Dick Smothers Jr. - not a gay. I heard on Howard Stern yesterday that Mr. Dick Smothers Jr. is, in fact, an adult film actor in non-gay adult films.

Wally Cox - not a gay. (Despite the implications of his surname, I found out from the E! True Hollywood Story: Hollywood Squares that in fact, the diminutive Mr. Cox not a gay but rather quite the ladies' man.

Dick Van Dyke - neither a gay nor a lesbian, but he did have an alcohol problem. (I found this out on the E! True Hollywood Story: The Dick Van Dyke Show).

As a contrary example, these other famous actors were neither Dicks nor Coxes but were, nonetheless, gays.

Robert Reed - a gay, he portrayed the father on the Brady Bunch. Even though his character was busy with three boys of his own, he found the time to marry a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls, on much more than a hunch. Once they blended their families, so to speak, wacky hijinks ensued for six seasons.

Rock Hudson -- a gay. I know, I know. You are saying to yourself, "no way, but Rock is such a hard and manly name. How could he be a gay?" It's true. I saw it on the E! True Hollywood Story: Rock Hudson.

In spite of the fact that Mr. Rock Hudson starred in several popular movies with Doris Day before moving on to a successful television career as Commissioner Stewart McMillan of the San Francisco Police Department, he was a gay. You say to yourself, "Hey, wait a minute, didn't Commissioner McMillan have a wife in the person of the lovely Susan St. James? Well yes, yes he did. Nonetheless, all of this was all pretend, Hollywood-style. Mr. Hudson was a gay, no ifs ands or buts.

Don't be a mean one, Mr. Grinch, I can't change the facts.

According to the E! True Hollywood Story, Bewitched, Mr. Sargent was a gay. In fact, I have it on good authority that Mr. Dick Sargent was not the only gay on this show. Just the other night, I learned the shocking truth on the E! True Hollywood Story: Hollywood Squares, that Mr. Paul Lynde, who played Samantha's Uncle Arthur on Bewitched, was also a gay. I do not have information about the other cast members as to their gayness, but I do know that Mr. David White who played Larry Tate had a pencil-thin mustache, which is often considered by those in the know as a sign of gayness, but I cannot say for sure.

Furthermore, Miss Agnes Moorhead, who must have been in her sixties at the time, was still MISS Agnes Moorhead, after two failed marriages with men. I have heard from people in the know that some women who remain unmarried into their sixties may, in fact be gays. I cannot say that Miss Moorhead, in spite of her name, was or was not a gay, but the possibility is there.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, Mr. Grinch, but I am educated on this topic by no less a source than several watchings of the E! True Hollywood story. I think I once read that you were a resident of San Francisco, Mr. Grinch. If this is true, there is a good chance that you have never yourself seen a gay.

Take it from me, my friend, it is impossible to tell the difference between gays and non-gays, unless they tell you. Therefore, I urge you, if you want to avoid further agitation with regard to your cherished television and movie icons, that you educate yourself by watching the E! True Hollywood story to find out if other people in showbusiness have been keeping secrets from you.

spooky(knowledge is power)fish

Here is my situation:

I struck while the iron was hot in the late nineties with a portfolio that was I'd say strong to very strong. While I am a GA, I don't like to be painted with that brush and have taken on woodwhittling. I even made an altar, or what the Jewish people would call a hopa, out of one piece of wood. Took me seventy hours. You could say I am a well rounded individual. I would also like to add that JC is my role model.

I bought a house in Darien a couple of years ago. I have not been offered membership at Burning Tree. What is wrong with me?

Hollywood Confidential
 

sorry. goofed.

Hollywood Confidential
 

You were capturing me with your smooth and snide homo-lie guile until you overstepped and exposed your own perfidy. You should not so faithlessly venture into the certain. I know for a fact that Mr. Lynde was completely notagay.

Charles Nelson Reilly told me so.

Woodwhittling? What are you, from West Virginia?

You're lucky your house wasn't set on fire, Bubba. ;)

The idea for "Slim Jims" was easy. The hard part was making them boneless.
 

Not to be unclassy, but I note that I posted that here a week or so ago the aptly titled post: "Dick Smothers Porn Star."

A variation on my favorite stupidity defense
 

It means that when I say I was joking it's not because I'm stinging from the"smackdown." Kay?

That must be scripted or else it's just a tradition now. Trista said it a million times, and didn't the blond bland Aaron, too? Trista, of course, is a moron who tries to appear intelligent by torturing the English language, much like police department spokespeople do. Every time she said "there's a bond between Ryan/Charlie/Russell and I" I wanted to reach through the television and strangle her. Then she would salt the wound by talking in a cutesy voice.

r(wondering why that still bothers me enough to mention it; I must simply be jealous of Trista, for no less a luminary than Ryan Seacrest did say she had the highest tightest ass on televsion, and he ought to know, badumbum)p

Paul Lynde - Alive or Dead?
 

Is Paul dead? If so, when did he die?

What has Charles Nelson Reiley been in besides Love American Style?

Jim Nabors is gay. That's a fact.

Paul Lynde died last year, I think.

And Charles Nelson Reilly was on a Seals and Crofts Saturday morning television show in the '70s. Before that he might actually have been in a movie or two.

Shit... I almost forgot. I heard Merv Griffin was gay.

Seals and Crofts? What the hell connectionn would CNR (as the business bigwigs refer to that entertainment juggernaut) have in common with S&C? That sounds like those terrible late Scooby Doos where they introduced guest stars like Vincent Price or Ayn Rand.

A variation on my favorite stupidity defense
 

Well if she was classy, she would have said "and myself." Tramp.

Unfucking believable
 

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/bas...bulldurham_ap/

[spree: Stung by anti-war criticism from Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, the baseball Hall of Fame has canceled a 15th anniversary celebration of the film Bull Durham that was to feature the co-stars.]

This is disgusting.

TM

Vanity Plate in my garage
 

I noticed a vanity plate in my garage that says "XTC NE1" when I was walking to work today. Unsurprisingly, it was on a black late model Camaro (or Firebird, I forgot to check which).

I was rather surprised that such a plate managed to get through the Department of Pubic Safety. I'd also imagine that the car gets pulled over on a fairly regular basis.

A few things that bug me today
 

Hmmm. Are you sure you don't want to go the opposite way on #1?

TM

Paul Lynde - Alive or Dead?
 

Glad you asked. According to the E! True Hollywood Story: Hollywood Squares, Paul died of a heart attack in 1982 at the age of 56. He died naked and alone in his bedroom. There was some speculation that he wasn't alone when he died, and that his heart attack was caused by either the ingestion of "poppers" which I guess are popular among gays, gay sexual activity, or a combination of both. Paul also had an alcohol and drug problem, but his death shocked many of his friends because he was allegedly clean at the time of his death.

Incidentally, according to the E! True Hollywood Story: Hollywood Squares, Paul Lynde was not the only gay in the various iterations of the show. In fact, Jim (or Jm., if you prefer) J. Bullock, a Hollywood actor famous for his role in "Too Close for Comfort" was also a gay. Bruce Vilanch, head writer for "The New Hollywood Squares" was also a gay. Must have been something about that center square and Hollywood gays.

Paul Lynde was a damn funny guy, even if he was a gay.

spookyfish

A few things that bug me today
 

I was thinking more along the lines of getting a driver.

Hairdo Hell
 

Woman gets 6k for haircut-related depression:

http://www.boston.com/news/daily/10/odds_hair.htm

Frivolous whining about 'bald spots' and 'clumps of hair falling out'. No wonder everyone hates trial lawyers.

Hockey predictions
 

Go, Leafs, Go!

jl

A variation on my favorite stupidity defense
 

Oh Gawd. That's even worse. Stop, or we'll have to move this to the verbal pet peeves Board.

A few things that bug me today
 

Don't bring an engagement gift to the dinner party - from a practical point of view, if he is playing host he doesn't have time to handle it. Have it sent to him before or after. Also, from an etiquette point of view, it is important to disassociate the gift from the dinner he is hosting.

It isn't clear what sort of engagement or engagement announcement party this is. For one, the engagement has clearly been announced or you wouldn't know about it (small matter that, though).

Engagement announcement parties are usually get-togethers thrown by someone close to the couple, because presumably they would know soon enough to announce the news to others less close. The highlight of this party is supposed to be announcing the engagement to surprised and delighted people who haven't heard about it yet. But because it is thrown by the honorees or family it is prevented by decency from being a gift-giving party. (That's a good general rule of thumb - one can never throw a party for oneself that involves gifts or other material gain, and once one is out of grade school one can't have one's close family do it for one, either.) The "surprise" factor of the announcement is actually important, because without it (i.e.: if the announcment has effectively already happened) guests, knowing the reason for the party, feel obligated to bring gifts. Engagement parties that involve gifts are just a euphemism for an early shower, and they cannot be thrown by the engaged honorees or their close family.

So send the engagement gift separately, and don't attempt to tie it to the dinner.

Vegas- Lawyer Princess or whoever knows
 

A friend or two or three want to go to Vegas. Maybe Memorial Day, maybe tomorrow. Dunno. Questions:

1) anyone recommed a site to get good package deals at good hotels (ie Mandalay Bay, Hard Rock, etc)

2) What is new in Vegas? I keep hearing about this Ghost Bar but would love an update on fun places to go, or stay .

Thanks.

Unfucking believable
 

TM,

Embarrassing, overwrought and parochial are better descriptions. This is too stupid to be disgusting.

SD

Unfucking believable
 

It's as if former owners of Major League Baseball teams were being criticized or something.

I bet they'd celebrate the movie if Kevin Costner were the only one to show up.

Unfucking believable
 

This is awsome. Thanks for the link, TM. It made my day.

The only thing disgusting in that story is Susan Saradon and Tim Robbins. Yuck!

Why is the baseball hall of fame honoring a movie to begin with? Stupid.

Unfucking believable
 

Great. Thank you. I almost shot hot coffee out my nose.

spookyfish

They could say, however, that they as good actors were only pretending to criticize the former baseball team owner in the White House. Because they are good at pretending, people will believe them.

Paul Lynde - Alive or Dead?
 

Nobody ever believes this, but he was serious before that - he won a Tony Award for his role in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying and was nominated as a director for The Gin Game.

Paul Lynde was completely straight, though. The amyl nitrate that he was using while peacefully and platonically sleeping with the male ho was for heart pains. Really. Honest.

Mrs. Dangerfiled's Check-up
 

Hey Seb - did you take the Mrs. in for her check-up with the plastic surgeon, yet? Keep us posted when you do. We definitely want the update on what-needs-fixing and where.

My moneys is on the thighs, unless she has kids then I say the boobs are gonna need a resuspension.

Paul Lynde - Alive or Dead?
 

We had this discussion before on the evilboard when you educated me on Mr. Charles Nelson Reilly's career. Because I have not seen "The E! True Hollywood Story: Charles Nelson Reilly (or maybe The E! True Hollywood Story: The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (sp?)) I haven't been able to find out for certain whether Mr. Nelson Reilly is a gay. However, Mr. Bilmore, why do you persist in denying that Mr. Paul Lynde was a gay in spite of the mountain of irrefutable proof to the contrary?

spooky(Charles Nelson Reilly. You are a GOD!)fish