Cape Cod Wedding Fashion
 

I'm better now.

Child [those already bored with this harangue should now scroll on], there is no such thing on god's green earth as "semi formal." Sensible people only tolerated "black tie optional" so long as black tie was acknowledged to be informal

Very traditionally, there were two styles of recognized dress: formal and informal (obviously, people wore less formal things to actually work in, but they changed out of that for anything resembling a social occasion, be it dinner with the family, religious services or a coronation, so those working clothes didn't matter because social acquaintances didn't impose them on each other). For daytime (and we speak only of gentlemen, because, other than very vague guidelines, the distinctions between formal and less formal clothing for women has been and remains whatever she chooses to make of it), this meant morning suits or sack suits (basically, what we now call a business suit, but the trousers didn't necessarily match the jacket). For evening, that mean white tie or, interchangeably, dark business suits or black tie. Actually, I lie - for evening there was a third choice of formality, which was "we're not dressing," which meant whatever you wore in the morning (so long as it was a business suit) or, if you were in your own home, a dressing gown.

More recently (meaning middle to late 20th century), for daytime the business suit graduated to formal, while "informal" meant ... god only knows what, but usually what used to be considered the working clothes you wouldn't inflict on a friend, or worse. Sometimes a sack coat (often with darker or stripey trousers and a contrasting vest) occupied a level of formality between the "formal" business suit and the formerly-formal now uber-formal morning suit, which itself survived only in certain private schools and the diplomatic corps. For evening clothing, black tie graduated from informal to formal, white tie graduated upwards to the orchestra pit or "formal-no really formal we really mean it, white tie", informal came to mean the business suit, and a new category of "casual" was invented to cover everything else because after 1970 no one dared to say "we're not dressing."

Then everyone confused "informal" with "anything other than formal" and therefore with "casual," and anarchy ensued.

For weddings, everyone is supposed to dress with the same level of formality as the groom. The invitation is supposed to signal to the invitees what level of formality that will be: a third person, centered, formal invitation means "formal," and "informal" is signaled by a handwritten letter invitation, which can then get into the details of expected dress if that is deemed necessary.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

It does not make you borderline nuts per se but it does increase the chances that when the next group of stray kittens comes along you will decide you can't let them be killed either and so on and so on until you have 67 cats and the health department comes to take them away and commit you.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

I am not sure where you would wear these, but they would please several fetishists at once.

http://store.nordstrom.com/product/p...tyleID=2818123

(spree: scratch & sniff flip flops)

Mormon hypo
 

Wow. You are completely full of shit.

And I dare say I know more Mormons than you do.

tm

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

Flip-flops have replaced puffy white sneakers as the women's commuter shoe of choice here. Some women are wearing them at the office. This will all change with the first fall weather anyway, when women will switch to the equally scary LLBean boots with suits.

Calling your assistant a pear will lead to an intentional work disaster at a crucial deadline moment and intense hatred for all time. You might gently say that you're sure she didn't mean to do this at the office, but her shirt is exposing her belly.

SECRET MESSAGE
 

WTFIWWYP? GBTW.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

Those aren't Asian.

Mormon hypo
 

When you see most of the guys who are polygamists, it's no wonder their individual wives are grateful their husbands are too busy screwing several other women to get around to them too often.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

Yes, so you can report the reaction.

Mormon hypo
 

It seems likely that many, if not most, male Mormons would be opposed to polygamy, and that this has always been so.

Do the math. If every elder or big kahuna gets four wives, most men get none. Zero. Zilch. Combine that with a general rejection of premarital sex, and you're on the road to hell.

Combine that with lack of alcohol and living in Utah, and..... shudddddder.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

I see teenaged girls wearing flip flops all the time, but they only wear them to show off their toe rings. Also, it is effing hot here and I can hardly blame anyone for wearing them.

I do have a pair of comfy and baggy capri pants that if I were not as vast as I am right now, I would not wear, but frankly, the wardrobe is currently limited and comfort rules over aesthetics. I hope to be able to burn my entire current wardrobe in a few months. Mock me if you will.

And as to the exposed pear - I second PJ's adice. My secretary's boobs practically fell out of one shirt and she was pulling it up all day. I had to nicely suggest she retire the shirt or invest in a safety pin - I haven't seen the shirt since.

-TL

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

Ugh. This is a major peeve of mine. More and more women and girls in slut-wear, without the bodies to carry it off. Simple rule: If your flesh hangs out over your waistband, you need to cover it.

Also, while I will confess a fondness for low-cut jeans, the best aspect of midriff exposure was the (well toned) navel area. Lately, it seems waistbands have drifted even lower (the phenom I refer to as "shave-pants", since you pretty much have to go Brazilian to wear them), and shirt hems have raced downward to catchup... resulting in the look of pants fastened just barely above the butt crack, and navels covered by shirts.

This is a profoundly disturbing development, and one that I see pretty much constantly around SF.

SECRET MESSAGE
 

OK. Since I think I started this confusion today:

TUIMMALB -- a Thurgreedism, throw up in my mouth a little bit

TUAOM -- also from TM, throw up all over myself

LIGARAWYT -- this is a guess, but I think it means like i give a rat's ass what you think

LOLIAMHW67C -- little old lady in malodorous house with 67 cats (the full phrase was used in the post to which the poster using this acronym was responding)

Now, please explain yours. I'm stuck after "what the fuck is with" ...

SECRET MESSAGE
 

I think there's one too many W's. Get back to work, you people.

SECRET MESSAGE
 

Unless I miss my guess, "what the fuck is up with you people. Go back to work."

SECRET MESSAGE
 

SFM

SECRET MESSAGE
 

The answer, was "What the fuck is wrong with you people? Get back to work."

I think RP and Burger get split credit for dechipering the message, 10 points to both of you, well done.

And don't mind me, I'm just bitter I didn't win the $91M lottery this weekend and had to come to work. I'll be fine tomorrow. Maybe.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

This is an interesting and delicate subject. I'd ask your friends in HR to send around a global memo to all the assistants so that a) your assitant doesn't lose face, b) you don't have to be the bad guy, and c) Danny Heatley sucks deez nuts.

str8

Cape Cod Wedding Fashion
 

God bless you BRC. Where would we be without you?
That said, I'm wearing a black two button notch lapel tuxedo at my wedding with a black vest and a long black tie (comments anyone?), but we want our guests to wear either suits, or tuxes if they so choose. I went with "black-tie optional" on our invites, after seeing what people chose to wear to the last "semi-formal" wedding I attended.

str8

Cape Cod Wedding Fashion
 

I did not receive my invitation yet but just so that I am prepared I would like to know if underwear will also be optional. Brassiers, of course, should never be optional -- regardless of size.

Cape Cod Wedding Fashion
 

Given your prior posts on the subject, I fear it's a moot point.

Cape Cod Wedding Fashion
 

Uhoh. This is going to be one of those issue spotters for BRC, with a long response further bemoaning the confusion of what is a tuxedo.

Spray on tan
 

I know of at least one person who would disagree:

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/ima...9_36740_rt.jpg

TM

There is no such thing as garden party chic
 

Nor is there such thing as "black tie optional." (Sorry, str8, I love you like a brother I've never met, but this is true.)

The point of dress traditions is to make everyone comfortable by making clothing irrelevant. In this way, black tie is somewhat like nudism, without all the towels on the seats. Yes, this means that the boys are all wearing the same thing and can't express their flamboyant originality by wearing their piano keyboard ties, etc. Most would agree this is a good thing.

When I receive a black tie or black tie optional invitation, my first thought is not, "Oh, those fuckers, making me dress up. I wish they would stop oppressing me." My thought is, "I hope everyone wears black tie." I feel slightly uncomfortable at a BT party talking with someone wearing a business suit or white tie, just as if they showed up at a poolside BBQ wearing jacket and tie.

Black tie optional accidentally makes all the people who wear black tie feel slightly more dressed up (not the point of the whole exercise, mind you) and the people who wear suits feel slightly less so. It reintroduces clothing, and noticing clothing, back into the party dynamics. ("Huh, I would have figured he owns a tux, with the money he's making at Cravath" etc.)

That said, I would rather go to a BTO party than a "creative black tie" holiday party, because there will always be some schmuck with a LED novelty tie, or a tie shaped like holly leaves, or some shit like that. I know it's not very Chrismassy, but these people should be festively beaten.

Do You Believe In Miracles? NO!
 

This just in: Herb Brooks has checked out. Sounds like he coulda used some of Gregory Hines' nimble moves.

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slu...v=ap&type=lgns

The shock of learning that you were not going to wear a bow tie with your tuxedo at your wedding must have caused him to lose control of his car.

There is no such thing as garden party chic
 

This is why I wear jeans to business events. It makes a power statement, and the hoi polloi are made less comfortable.

Now if the rest of you would just get dressed again...

There is no such thing as garden party chic
 

Christ, now there's two of you. Maybe threaded fora aren't such a bad idea after all.

Do You Believe In Miracles? YES!
 

Too bad. He and that band of guys who for the most part did little on the professional level turned in one of the most stunning performances in US Olympic history, if not modern Olympic history. Don't think I'll ever forget watching that...

Do You Believe In Miracles? YES!
 

What an amazing game that was. If you haven't seen the documentary on it, you should.

Do You Believe In Miracles? YES!
 

That performance was so intensely compelling that it's easy to forget it wasn't the gold medal matchup --- we had to go on to beat Finland in another nail-biter with three goals in the third period. But everybody forgets the Finland match.

It's kinda the same phenomenon that causes everybody to misremember that the Red Sox lost the '86 Series because the ball went through Buckner's legs. Well, yeah, but then they had to go and lose an entire other game in order to lose the whole banana.

Do You Believe In Miracles? YES!
 

And some other people forget that the game was already tied, after the Sox blew a two-run lead, when Buckner let the grounder go through his legs. And that Stanley wasn't covering first anyway, and Wilson likely would have been safe. And that John McNamara left Bucker in at all when he had Dave Stapleton as a late-inning defensive replacement.

But I digress.

Monday Musings
 

1. Metrosexuals are officially no longer "in." Proof? A feature story in the Minneapolis paper. Sorry Penske, your 15 minutes are over.
http://www.startribune.com/stories/389/4026105.html
http://www.startribune.com/stories/389/4027708.html

2. I have a mystery. Yesterday I returned home from church to find a very large gift bag on the Manor front porch. Inside were 3 items, unwrapped: A baby doll with a pink diaper, a small white pillow with eyelit trim and a stuffed purple hippo toy (the tag of which has the old name of a store that changed its name 2 years ago). No note. No tag. Nothing that even indicates I am the intended recipient. If I didn't know the Fugee Mom hadn't been in town, it is just the thing she'd have done -- only remembering weeks from now to call and tell me what I'm supposed to do with the stuff. The bag sits on my dining room table until the mystery is resolved.

Monday Poll
 

This is sort of reality TV based but not necessarily.

It appears that at least one couple had sex in the Big Brother 4 (in like the first week or so) house although I missed that episode. If they did the deed, it is a first for U.S. Big Brother shows.

Question: If you were cast in a reality TV show, would you have sex with the cameras rolling? For those of you I already know are going to answer yes, what show would you want it to be and would you do it furtively under the covers or buck nekkid for all the world to see like a porn star? And if the first 2 questions are too easy, what would all you wannabe porn stars do to give the internet live feed watchers (or the cameramen for those who prefer a different reality show) a thrill?

You can make whatever assumptions you wish about the hotness and willingness of the fellow contestants, permission from the SO, ability to keep one's parents and grandparents from watching, etc. but may not assume any changes to your own physical anatomy.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Fu(a sex poll from me, what is the world coming to?)gee

Monday Musings
 

Their hands were full. They'll drop the baby off tomorrow night.

new and improved?
 

A British guy called me a "poofster" on the golf course this past weekend for showing up for my tee time in surf shorts, a flowered hat, flip flops and painted toes. I think this must be the Euro-word for metrosexual and probably raises my status to one of Metrosexual, Internationale! My next 15 minutes have just begun.

Olé!

Fugee's Sex Poll
 

No.

Were the answer yes, I would do it Real World style . . . under the blankets, and then lie about it on the reunion show.

Spray on tan
 

Sure

Welcome!

Tapped Out
 

So true. This past weekend I was helping my dad pack, so we had boxes all over the place. My nephew, who is one year old, got very excited and went running for a box.

Well, you know how packing boxes have flaps? You know what happens if you hit one of these flaps as you run towards the box, especially when you are the size of a one year old toddler?

That's right, you do a flip and you land inside the box. Sit there shocked for a minute as your Aunt, Dad and Grandpa stand there shocked for a moment, and then burst into tears as Dad picks you up.

He was fine, which enables me to say, damn that was some funny stuff.

Kids are hilarious. Extremely entertaining. You can't make up the shit they do.

Monday Poll
 

Probably. Not too concerned about family finding out I guess. They can deal.

But I would probably do it furtively under the covers and wouldn't really be interested in giving the audience a thrill.