Menagerie
 

Actually, no. But I would probably date a guy who hated lawyers.

Menagerie
 

Nice attempt at a cover, cat-hater. And I think your admissions about replying vs. editing pale in comparison to your declaration that you would date a guy who hated you.

Now I'm not the world's most passionate guy
 

The sex of your spouse might matter less because sex reassignment pretty much condemns you to a high risk of lost sexual function, to say the least. The studies are mixed, but a long-term failure rate of 50 percent has been reported for MTF transsexual surgery, failure being defined as a blocked or otherwise non-functional vagina. Many self-identified transgendered people don't go on the chopping block for this reason. And FTM surgery is much rarer and less successful, as you need a prosthesis to perform intercourse. Click here for the Dope.* The marriage probably often becomes all about the cuddling.

What's interesting is the dispute over whether people seeking reassignment might be already suffering from low sex drive, which may contribute to dissatisfaction about sexual identity.

*My knowledge and interest in this topic is limited to what I read on this website and the Straight Dope, but continuing this conversation is more FB-appropriate than the alternative, which appears to be talking about speed traps.

Headlights and speed traps
 

I guess my image was always of the guy getting the hard-on right after he got strapped into the chair, not after he gets fried. Right at the point that he should be scared out of his mind, he gets aroused...and he can't do anything to relieve himself.

Poignantly contrary to what was expected.

Ironic.

Headlights and speed traps
 

Ever heard or rigor mortis? I heard somewhere (please don't ask me where) that this is not uncommon.

Not ironic however unless you (a) were about to get laid for the first time ever as your dying wish and (b) had performance anxiety right before being put to death. Doh!

Transexuals
 

Except for the boys who would tease the girls with more than two cats. Those boys really were just teasing.

TM

New Poll
 

Yes. I have given a false name and claimed to not have any identification on me. I have out run them (both on foot and in a car). I have smiled prettily and talked them out of several speeding tickets (once by bursting into tears, once by explaining that I had an important occasion to get to, and once by explaining that I was lost and did not see any posted speed limit). I have persuaded a tiny foreign officer who pulled me over for going 53 (or something like that) in a 35 mph zonegave me a breathalyzer and told me I "failed all the [sobriety] tests" that the only reason I failed is that I was wearing four inch heels and that he was welcome to attempt to pass himself if he wanted to try them on. After much discussion, he agreed to let me park my car and call a cab to get home. Which I did. No ticket.

Menagerie
 

I read somewhere that self-loathing is the new self-esteem.

Headlights and speed traps
 

Much like a black fly in your Chardonnay.

Headlights and speed traps
 

It's not rigor mortis, but it's autorerotic asphyxiation taken a bit too far.

If pressed, I read about it in Billy Budd

Headlights and speed traps
 

You are one sick, twisted fuck.

Headlights and speed traps
 

I believe that when you are hanged, it causes an erection and orgasm. I canot say with certainty whether this is true, but I believe this is why there are occasional deaths from people who are attempting to get off through auto-asphyxsiation. I believe there was a line in Waiting For Godot about this - something about flowers growing where the hanged man's seed spills. I'll see what the internet has to say about all this.

Headlights and speed traps
 

There is also Priaprism which is a medical term for a persistent erection (> 4hours). They were mentioned in my EMT class years ago as being a sign of spinal cord injury. A google search turned up references to several causes including to sickle cell anemia, or other blood disorder, and a side-efect of Viagra.

From www.fridae.com:
Persistent erections can be painful and interfere with normal activities. The danger is if let for too long it may cause problems with fibrosis or gangrene of the head of the penis.

FYI - the first couple of pages of Google results relate to a SF softball team. Hmmmm, soft - ball.

Headlights and speed traps
 

What the hell do you think "rain on your wedding day" means? There is much to this song, once you get Gigli with it.

Headlights and speed traps
 

Serioously, who stole your password? You had Irony and flowers to work with and you instead offer to help?

New Poll
 

So?

Thurgreed(run from the cops? maybe in the next life. i drive not to get pulled over)Marshall

Headlights and speed traps
 

Don't blame me. Blame Alanis. She's the one who put the image in my head. It's not my fault I can't understand Canadian...

In fact, in a conversation 4 days ago, I was using that line as the ONLY example of irony in the song...

Headlights and speed traps
 

Um, sorry. Penske is the irony freak, not me. Thanks for playing, though.

On a brighter note, I found the Beckett lines:

VLADIMIR:
(Silence. Estragon looks attentively at the tree.) What do we do now?
ESTRAGON:
Wait.
VLADIMIR:
Yes, but while waiting.
ESTRAGON:
What about hanging ourselves?
VLADIMIR:
Hmm. It'd give us an erection.
ESTRAGON:
(highly excited). An erection!
VLADIMIR:
With all that follows. Where it falls mandrakes grow. That's why they shriek when you pull them up. Did you not know that?
ESTRAGON:
Let's hang ourselves immediately!

Cryogenics - Is it Science day on the FB?
 

This would be disturbing even if it wasn't Ted Williams:

SI Report: Williams' body decapitated; DNA missing
By Associated Press, 8/12/2003

Ted Williams was decapitated by surgeons at the cryonics company where his body is suspended in liquid nitrogen, and several samples of his DNA are missing, Sports Illustrated reported.
...
After Williams died July 5, 2002, his body was taken by private jet to the company in Scottsdale, Ariz. There, Williams' body was separated from his head in a procedure called neuroseparation, according to the magazine.

The operation was completed and Williams' head and body were preserved separately. The head is stored in a steel can filled with liquid nitrogen. It has been shaved, drilled with holes and accidentally cracked 10 times, the magazine said. Williams' body stands upright in a 9-foot tall cylindrical steel tank, also filled with liquid nitrogen.

Read all about it here

Link to SI online article

So why seperate the head from the body in the first place? Anyone think that these people have more than 67 cats?

Edited to add link to Sports Illustrated article.

New Poll
 

I have evaded the police.

On a tortuous, hilly road in my little town, he saw me coming in the opposite direction, flipped his lights on and pointed at me. I may have been doing 40 in a 35, but that's enough in our town. (It's like 5000 residents, so the police don't have very much to do.)

Rather than get into the right lane, knowing he needed to find somewhere to turn around, I drove another quarter mile and turned into a strip mall and hurried into a GNC while I waited for him.

I think I waited for weeks for him to pick me up, every time I drove down the main thoroughfare.

New Poll
 

I accidently drove through the bus lane on the Bay Bridge once and didn't realize it until I was on the bridge having not had to go through any toll booths. For weeks afterwards, I had convinced myself that it was a matter of time before one of the cops on the bridge stopped me and ticketed me after showing me the video tape.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

0 cats, down not too long ago from 1 cat (cf. conversation on the old board about euthanasia)

Headlights and speed traps
 

Denver?

Headlights and speed traps
 

And there's always rigor mortis!

Headlights and speed traps
 

late to the party again.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

Repeatedly mentioning dear departed cat: A little loopy.

TM

Transgendered (and more catsup)
 

Not a Liz Phair fan, I guess.

Forum Shopping
 

Cramdown, anyone?

http://biz.yahoo.com/rb/030812/media_penthouse_3.html

(spree: Penthouse files for Ch. 11; unfortunately, no pictures)

Cryogenics - Is it Science day on the FB?
 

Not that I've done any research into doing this for myself but... I thought they always severed the head when doing the cryogenic freezing? I think I saw this on one of those 20/20/dateline type shows.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

Thank God! I was worrying there that I didn't have enough cats, but I didn't realize I could cover this way.

Cryogenics - Is it Science day on the FB?
 

I saw it on Futurama.

Cryogenics - Is it Science day on the FB?
 

Dammit. That was my answer.

The Cat Slippery Slope
 

You should go adopt some homeless kitties anyway. I think at least 4 (two per adult in household).

Futurama
 

A new phenomena has emerged from the American elite, namely terminally ill or injured individuals having themselves cryogenically frozen until such time as a cure is invented for their ailments. Naturally, where there is demand, supply will follow. The main company handling cryogenic freezing is a Californian outfit called the Alcor Foundation, who will freeze you in ‘cryostasis’ using liquid nitrogen for a paltry $US120,000. Unfortunately for those wishing to undergo the procedure, you have to move to California, currently the only place on the planet where cryogenic freezing is legal. Applicants are still required to go through a very complex legal process in order to gain entry to the program, and you must become a member of the Alcor Foundation before you can apply.

Q: Does Alcor preserve heads?

Not exactly. Alcor has an option called neuropreservation, which is preservation of the brain. Neuropreservation is based on the understanding that medicine will eventually be able to regenerate all tissues except the brain. Therefore the objective of neuropreservation is to preserve the brain-- the seat of human identity --as faithfully as possible. It is not possible to remove a brain from the head without injuring it. Neuropreservation therefore requires that the cephalon (head) remain intact to preserve the brain without injury. However the definition and objective of neuropreservation is not head preservation, it is brain preservation.

New Poll
 

Yes. Sort of. I was the passenger. Shot gun. We tried to evade them, which resulted in a 10 minute hi-speed chase around downtown Philly.

Sirens sounded, I was astounded,
before long the Audi5000 got surrounded.

My friend flashed a friend of the police type of I.D. card and instead of arresting us they gave us 30 minutes to get out of dodge.

True story.

How I Dearly Wish I Was Not Here
 

Actually I am more like the last of the Preternaturally Youthful Boyishly Good Looking Metrosexuals, which phrase interestingly enough reminds of of that song, Last of the Famous International Playboys, which is coincidental because we are talking about irony and song lyrics and and songwriters who write ironic lyrics and confused sexuality.

Oh, maybe I am the irony phreak. Of course, ymmv.

hattrick, is this it?
 

Ooops, I thought you guys were talking about Morrisey, not Morrisette, hence all the clever Morrisey references, which in reality were just misposted duds. Although, that's sort of ironic in and of itself. In a roundabout way. If you know what I mean. YMMV.

hattrick, that was it.
 

ps: PLF, for what its worth, fyi, let me be the first to tell you (although stop me if you think you've heard this one before), your last post was your 63rd worst post on this board. No offense. NTTAWWT.

Is it September 5 yet?
 

:drool:

Freak