Not that anyone cares, but...
 

1) If you go to the airport, carry over $100 on you lest the FUCKING POWER GRID goes out and you have no money:

2) See 1, repeat;

3) Call local hotels immediately, even if they don't cancel flight, so you don't end up sleeping on either (a) floor of conference room of (b) cot for $50 with shared group of wierdos;

4) Do not trust Airline 1-800 numbers to do jack shit in a crisis, as they will (a) tell you to go to airport for flight in one hour and (b) arrive at airport and be told (i) all flights are still cancelled and (ii) call said 1-800 number for info. [Telling clerk that said number is giving contradictory information, following argument, and the predictable "you are a fucking asshole" proves not productive];

5) Cops will still bust your stones, even in blackout, for no reason - fuck em';

6) Don't go up 29 flights of stairs with a waxy candle.

not7y(battered, broken, and missed his beach vacay dammit)S

The FB: All Texas, All the Time
 

Sorry to dredge up Friday, but Houston is less than 30' above sea level, has a subsidence problem, and floods not uncommonly. Even if tunnels were part of our highway system, one would need to take out extra life insurance to drive through them.

-TL

Not that anyone cares, but...
 

I care.

That sucks, big time.

Not that anyone cares, but...
 

Yes, it does. And I too care.

Poor Slave

Important Things Before ATHF Airs
 

First, I decree that all of the "gay men are influencing straight men" articles have reached their apex (and thus begin their precipitous downfall/backlash) with the inexplicably rave reviews for Junior Senior's D-D-Don't Stop The Beat, a Danish outfit featuring a young, handsome straight guy and an older, flabby gay man. I had hear the rave reviews declare it "A most pleasurable guilty pleasure," so when I went to Tower Records this weekend, I listened to it. It's just crap. Just because a gay man is involved in the production of something, doesn't mean it's good. See Elton John's output for the past twenty years. (Although I do wonder if the gay angle influenced the Village Voice critic to write "It's like each song on the album has the dynamics and reach of a DJ set, ramming David Bowie and Fats Domino into K.C. and the Sunshine Band.")

Second, if you want to buy a Cowboy Junkies album made by a band that is not the Cowboy Junkiies, then you want to buy Rabbit Songs by Hem. I remember hearing the song "When I Was Drinking" a good year and a half ago on KCRW, but Dreamworks picked up the band, re-released the album, and put it into Tower Records stores so people could actually buy the record. By the way, Hem is not to be confused with either the band Hum or the band Venus Hum. Perhaps we're running out of band names.

Third, has anyone else seen the new commercial for the Hummer H2? The Who's "Happy Jack" plays while a boy drives a soapbox H2 down a mountain race. It's a clever commerical, but I don't want anyone else on the road with a Hummer. I'm conflicted.

One of my new favorite websites
 

Obscene Interiors
(spree: (from the site) Amateur porn photography is one of the rare instances where everyday people expose their naked bodies to the public. Seeing your neighbors nude my be shocking, I, however, am more frequently disturbed by the gross display of amateur interior design found in these photos.

"Oh my God! How could they do that? Those curtains are so wrong, I can't believe this stuff is allowed on the net." It can be pretty hardcore. I've gathered a random selection of male amateur porn and personal ad photographs and asked professional designers to join me in a lively critique of these truly obscene Interiors. (No need to shield your virginal eyes, the nude figures have been laboriously obscured.) )

One of my new favorite websites
 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

That website reminds me of brunch with my parents when they would discuss deconstruct the host's rooms the morning after a party.

On last week's topic of jewels
 

Thought y'all might find this amusing, or not:

"Dear Miss Manners:

I've been married to my lovely wife for eight years. We have always celebrated our anniversary in grand style. I have commemorated significant years with jewels and always with a romantic dinner.

We are both working professionals, and I was wondering if it is appropriate for me to receive anything in return (non-physical).

Did you really have to add that at the end?

Miss Manners was about to give you a stirring yet touching speech about reciprocity in marriage, in the hope of persuading your wife to see if the jeweler also carries cuff links. But after you mentioned the notion of physical acts as reciprocation for jewels, she was no longer in the mood. "

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...2003Aug16.html (free registry)

Also, anyone else find the SATC pretty amusing last night? I did on two levels - 1, anything about shoes and shoe-related revenge is interesting, and 2, I realized why I like the Charlotte/Harry story line so much: it reminds me of me and the Mr. Except I'm Harry.

One of my new favorite websites
 

"Something wicker this way comes."

That is a classic line. And also, more proof, just because they are gay (if they are gay) it doesn't mean they have an iota of taste.

Speaking of nightmares, and here's a good poll(pole) for the day. What is the absolute worst thing you have seen in a house/apartment in the way of decoration? It can be a residence into which you moved or just something you saw.

When I was in 4th grade my folks bought a 200 year old house which had been left by the owners for about 9 months. They left everything in it, including food.

The neighborhood kids used it for trysts and drugs. It was a wreck. That is not the worst thing I have ever seen.

The worst thing was in the next house we purchased, in 86 or so. This house, which was owned by two gay men, was the biggest mess I have ever seen in my life. It was worse than the house that had been left empty and used for drugs and sex by teenagers. And, the worst thing about it? They took soup can and alcohol bottle labels, glued them to the kitchen wall, and just to make sure it was protected, put a coat of varnish over those suckers.

I will never forget scraping those things off.

One of my new favorite websites
 

Not absolutely shocking like your stories, but when I was househunting a few years ago (mid 90s), I looked at a townhouse that had a purple living room, with parquet wood floor, a disco ball and a mirror mounted to the wall over the fireplace. Now maybe this look all worked with the decor when there was furniture in the place (doubt it), but it was tacky (not in a good way) when devoid of furnishings.

Maybe Prince lived there?

QE
 

from reality blurred -

Wondering how much a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy makeover costs? Not as much as it appears, according to Time magazine, which reports that "[s]tores pay nothing for being featured on the show; they simply agree to let cameras in and provide merchandise for free." Stores are selling a lot of the products featured on the Bravo show, and housewares store Domain is even renaming a sofa after Fab Five member Thom Filicia called it a "chofa" on the show. A producer for the show says they won't charge companies for the air time: "They're giving me a location, and they're giving us product. Why would I charge them? That would be horrible."


Product placement, I'm sure, is another matter...

Tie it, er, on.
 

A 52 Year-old Retired Ann Arbor City Employee Invents Revolutionary New Condom. Look out, girls.

From the article (Ann Arbor News): ""I was thinking, 'The only way to make something that won't come off is to tie it on, and then it just popped in my mind - go around the testicles," McCoy said.

"If you think about who really controls sex, it's women," McCoy said. "And every woman I've showed this to has said once this is out they'll never let a man touch them with the old kind. This absolutely will not come off until you take it off... There's absolutely nothing getting out of that baby, and absolutely nothing getting in."

Gatti(No images accompanying the article. All things said, probably for the best)gap

419 Scam e-mails
 

For those of you who also love the strange literature of the 419 scam, attached is a correspondence between one such scammer and Mr. Randolph Carter, the well known anthropologist with Miskatonic University in Arkham MA.

If you know what that means, you will find this correspondence very, very amusing indeed. There is also some correspondence with Dr. Herbert West.

http://www.geocities.com/steerp1ke/David_Ehi.html

Men With Brooms
 

I finally rented it this weekend and was pleasantly surprised. I laughed my ass off as did my husband who had to be forgiven for forgetting two-thirds of his curling lessons from the Olympics. Anyway, there is a lot of funny shit, a few great back stories and some pretty decent curling footage. Two thumbs up -- even if you are not a curling fanatic. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Gwinky????

Straight Eye for the Queer Guy
 

You knew it was coming.

An excerpt:

"HOME DECOR.
The basics: Don't buy so much breakable crap. If it's delicate, it's a threat. Straight guys like stuff that can take an errant basketball and all you have to do is pick it up and put it back. Extra points if it's stain resistant. Or just colored so you can't tell.

Other than that, forget all the stereotypes you have heard about straight guys' decor. It does not consist of poker-playing dogs, neon bar signs and girly pictures. The truth is, the typical straight guys' home decor is no decor at all. Why put stuff on the walls you can't just paint over when spills and sprays get too thick? And if you put something on a wall, it's like an admission of defeat that you will never put a home theater there. Straight guys decorate with electronics.

So keep it simple. You don't have to dust walls.

Hot tip. Track lighting looks really cool. You guys ought to try it. "


http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...postid=3710523

Simple pleasures in legal life
 

When someone sends an e-mail cancelling a meeting later this afternoon that you totally forgot about.

For Buffy Fans
 

I came across an unaired pilot for Buffy the vampire slayer recently. It is about 30 minutes long, has a different person playing Willow (who comes across as a completely different character) and some very rough special affects.

You can probably find it floating around the Internet if you so desire. I found it on kazaa.

For Buffy Fans
 

E/O, better put leagl down in the "law breakers" category of the great downloading debate.

For shame. ;)

Gangbangers
 

Can someone explain this concept to me? Someone was explaining to me how men have to pay their dues (such as jail time for their OG?), and that "female associates" have other roles to play. I am not getting straight answers re what these dues are, or the role of a female associate. Anyone know?

Important Things Before ATHF Airs
 

Saw the ad this weekend and had exactly the same reaction. Very clever, but I don't want the Hummer people to get any better at marketing those behemoths, b/c they are already a hazard (and a nuisance) here as it is.

Men With Brooms
 

I think I saw that a while back. The Tragically Hip has a cameo as a curling team right? Funny - but in a "cliched Canada packaged for Americans" way, I think. Sometimes the stereotyping of us as beer-swilling yet charming yokels is kind of annoying, as in a those-morons-caused-the-blackout kind of way.

Synthetic Diamonds
 

Finally. And to think I wasnt gonna catchup. Actually, I amnot gonna, just gonna read the posts with my fake name in em. The fun thing about the search function is you get to see your fake name in red in the posts. This was fabulous. Takes me back to the days of Vanil Stoli and ginger ales, pineappley vodkas straight up and other tasty confections I used to only be able to get at the Royalton. These were the glory days when more hot guys were everywhere, in bank machine rooms, in bars, in the office, and they mostly hadnt thrown in the towel to that society sanctioned clusterfuck called marriage. Some bitches threatened to take that cow back to the grazing area if a real diamond didnt spring up on that finger and now going out is a lot less fun for me. I love the thrill of the chase but alas, everyone is getting older and I just keep staying the same age.

but I digress. I agree the penske socks are phoning it in. They are not spot on, their mileage does not vary and nobody is thanking them for playing. Bc playing is more than phoning it in.

Yuck squared.
 

http://www.msnbc.com/news/953815.asp?0cl=cR

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp..._decapitated_1

Which would be worse: being "cleansed" by some smelly guy right after losing your husband (ignore the possibility of AIDS) or being stuck in an elevator for 20 min with a decaptitated body?

Simple pleasures in legal life
 

That is beautiful. Also, then you can pretend like you were super prepared for it.

Yuck squared.
 

all I know is that I'm taking the stairs for the next few days. and I'll avoid St. Joe's entirely.

Yuck squared.
 

*shudder* no kidding.

Yuck squared.
 

word on the street is that the head rolled in the elevator. ugh ugh ugh.

Yuck squared.
 

My vote is that it is worst to be beheaded by a fucking malfunctioning elevator like you're in some crap horror movie.

Damn. The way you get through watching stuff like Resident Evil and Omen II is that you can enjoy the creativity used to make all that shit up. Guess not.

BR(Friday XXIII VII was on this weekend, though. Damn, I forgot how funny the party horn in the face was)C

Hey Hey Hey
 

I think my favorite Lorenzo line had something to do about his "combo plate". but that would be highlarious. and the paigow birthday is just around the corner as fate would have it. I regret that most of america did not get the brilliance of are you hot.

and about that cat falling off the tv, I think that was the only funniest episodes of hilarity or whatever that show is called I have ever seen. So this is like deja rerun but not exactly.

One of my new favorite websites
 

Looked at a 1920s Tudor with orange shag carpet and a vaulted popcorn ceiling. A VAULTED POPCORN CEILING IN A TUDOR, people. As Thom Filicia would shriek, "It's HORRRRRRible."

Still, I'd have to say that even greater crimes against decor can still be found in Trading Spaces rooms designed by Dez, Frank, Hildy (sometimes), and Kia (always always always).

Decapitation
 

And to think that I watched the same thing happen in Final Destination 2 this weekend and thought "that would suck." Guess it does.

Can I just offer a hearty "FUCK YOU" to Fox network execs for cancelling "Keen Eddie"? Even "John Doe" got more episodes, and that show sucked ass.

Vote for me in the recall election. Heads will roll.

Power outage
 

Darlin, cant you see this makes you even lamer bc it shows you have the time and mojo to monitor other boards?

Glad to be out of the top five for reasons I am not sure of.

Synthetic Diamonds
 

Yeah, too bad our #1 and #2 starters shat the bed. I think Billy might have called in a favor with J.P. Sheesh. And Mike Weir took a cue from the boys in blue. If I start a round 5 after after 5 holes, I'm not real happy. Wonder what Mike was thinking after his fifth str8 bogey? Gotta hand it to Micheel though, he made a hell of a lot of big putts on the weekend, and that 7 iron was gold.

Important Things Before ATHF Airs
 

Yes I realize that I am quoting a long quote for naught but my pet peeve gets no play. What the ruck is ATHF? All the Hot Fucks? And dont expect me to read this post to figure it out either.

419 Scam e-mails
 

I'd like do a collabo with this dude on a sock.

Straight Eye for the Queer Guy
 

Damn you bilmore. Like I need another chat board to follow instead of working.

That is one funny guy.

Synthetic Diamonds
 

I know one homme who might disagree.

419 Scam e-mails
 

Yeah. I'm inspired to respond to the next one I get, but I know I couldn't brazen it out that way.

Then again, it didn't sound like he expected his corespondent to fall for it, either, so who knows? If I do it, I'll post it here, I promise.

Simple pleasures in legal life
 

Who is this fucking freakshow and why does NCS hang out with him? I bet he's a fat, balding, middle-aged solo practioner who can barely make the payment on his honda civic.

:hi:

(just thought I should flame the new guy)