Confidential to Burger
 

[pointing left] GOOD GOALIE
[pointing right] SHIT GOALIE
Repeat as often as necessary.

ECAC Action . . . It's fantastic.

Communist plants
 

That suggestion was worse than most of PLF's recent posts. I think NCS was just phoning it in. But maybe her mileage varies in these situations. I just am trying to picture someone gracefully trying to sneak out a huge king sized sploogeinfested duvet while graciously thaknking the hostess for her amenities, hoping all the while she wont notice.

and anyone who doesnt have a duvet cover probalby doesnt know the no fucking rule. These are the people who welcome fringey into their homes with open arms. Animals.

Hey, NCS, thanks for playing.

Communist plants
 

It was NFH, bitch.

Does this mean I can't stay with you when I come to DC?

Duvet
 

Oops. Now I look like a complete ass (not that I didn't before). Should have read ahead.

At least someone thinks like me sometimes.

Communist plants
 

Seriously? I've never had problems washing such stains out of bedding before. Maybe the soap breaks down the protein?

I'm still thinking a damp rag with a little soap and water would do the job, assuming it's a small spot.

Communist plants
 

Wait. I wasn't playing. I have intentionally avoided having anything to do with the lameass duvet thread.

For the record, I am pro-sex in other people's homes but con-doing it on the duvet. Pull the damn thing down and use the sheets.

Communist plants
 

does this mean you are finally getting some?

Of course you can stay so long as you get those wild ass pubes under control. I would rather find splooge on my sheets than have one of my cats choke to death on that action.

Communist plants
 

When fucking at a friend's/relative's house, you should:

(1) fuck on the floor; or
(2) fuck in the shower (but don't let people know you're both in there. Give the whole "guy gets in while girl is 'doing hair/make-up' in the bathroom to save time" story; or
(2) fuck in the front yard

I Don't Bring You Flowersock posts
 

If it's any consolation, I loved your Mohammed Saheed Al Sahaat Sock on greedy politics in the last days of the old board. Some would say it was very-fixing-deck-chairs-on-the-Titanic in a doomed-message-board kind of way, but it made me proud to be one of your socks. Not proud in a sycophantic Sockless in Seattle kind of way, but proud in a my dad is stronger than your dad kinda' way.

Duvets and The Restaurant
 

Agree on the washing. The 5 year frequency is drastically shortened if you have a cat who expresses unhappiness about some perceived slight by peeing on the duvet in front of you. Mine has been to the laundry twice this year.

I saw an old friend of mine on The Restaurant last night. She was a guest at a table that didn't get the right food. I'm going to call her. How funny that my reality TV addiction leads to reconnecting with old friends.

Communist plants
 

Must have missed your post.

Anyway, by the time the black light at the party was rolled out (in the guest bedroom?!), there would be no way to know from whence the semen sprang. Doesn't club soda glow like semen under a black light? Perhaps spilling a little club soda would give a good alibi?

Communist plants
 

And if Larry David has taught us anything, it's that club soda and salt is a great remedy for getting rid of stains. It's a two-fer.

Communist plants
 

Huh. For years, I've been assuming that the reason people's teeth luminesce under black lights was the semen. I'd look for best prospects at clubs on that basis. No wonder I always wound up going home with tight-assed Vodka Collins drinkers who wouldn't give up the Lewinsky.

the bad seed
 

Is it just me or isn't the point of having sex as a houseguest to leave some splooge behind.....like a dog marking its territory?

Communist plants
 

No, man. Haven't you ever seen 20/20 or any crime drama. The shit they spray on reacts to the protein and then glows under the black light. Didn't you see the thing on hotels rooms and how disgusting they are. There's splooge and urine on walls, comforters (hotel should use covers), carpet, etc. (They tested places like the Hilton and Sheraton - not by-the-hour places)
And no, a damp rag won't get that shit off a down comforter/duvet - it only smears it around. You can't use enough water to make a difference without matting the feathers.

And what the hell is wrong? Do I look like a demented raving puppet?

Edited to add, no. I'm a happy moose (NFH not ncs)

Communist plants
 

The saddest thing about this post is that you think that a Vodka Collins is made with club soda.

The saddest thing about my post is that this freaking duvet incident is going to make me go over 150 posts. Then I won't be able to make fun of Lester anymore.

edited to add that the saddest thing about this post now is that I bartended for 5 years and never used club soda in my vodka collinses. I am a huge bartending loser. And I can't even make fun of people well.

Communist plants
 

Oh, hell, fuck where ever you want to, whoever, whenever. It is no ones business, including your hosts. Decent people of course know that sex happens, but they choose to ignore it unless personally involved. And hosts are supposed to clean up after their guests, it is part of the quid pro quo. The only rules about guest-fucking are:

1: the guest shouldn't advertise the fucking (meaning, at least pretend to be sneaking from room to room and try not to shriek like banshees).

2: The host shouldn't ask.

3: The host shouldn't suppose, which includes ignoring all evidence.

If the host really did notice and is peeved, the host can just come spooge on your linens when he or she comes to visit in return. If the guest really spooged something awful on the duvet, curtains, cat or other fixtures, and really wants to do something about it, they can leave a couple of twenties behind with a note stating "we didn't get to help you out around the house while we were staying with you as we wanted, but we are such messy guests please let us at least contribute a little to the cause of cleaning up after us!" Even that smacks unpleasantly of paying for hospitality.

Communist plants
 

Um, not to make you feel bad but I think that is a yearbook picture you are talking about...

Communist plants
 

Bingo! I am relieved to find that I am not alone in my easy cum easy go ways. After all, what cums around goes around.

The Restaurant
 

I have only recently started watching the restaurant, thanks to my dvr's ability to tape while I watch the HBO shows and adult swim.

Rocco comes across very, very poorly. Petulant, uncaring, and boorish.

Do you think he knew he was this way before, or is he on best Rocco behavior?

Duvets and office greenery
 

You are supposed to wash them? What the fuck is the cover for then? I mean, I'll iron my sheets but I will throw that damn duvet in the trash and buy a new one before I take it to the dry cleaners or have to wander out and find a commercial sized washing machine and dryer. No way sistah, nu uh. I always fold the duvet and cover down (no pun) so that it doesn't actually touch our faces or anything and there are sheets and blankets between our nastiness and the nice duvet/duvet cover so why do I have to wash it? Fuck. Shit. TITS. I need a book. :doh3:

Inhale this
 

I didn't know that the Terminator did pot?

Aug. 18 — Good thing Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he did, indeed, inhale, because foes of the would-be governor are circulating and posting on-line pics of him apparently doing just that. “I DID SMOKE a joint and I did inhale,” Schwarzenegger said last year. “The bottom line is that’s what it was in the ‘70s, that’s what I did. I have never touched it since.”
The photos currently making the rounds are apparently a series of stills from his 1977 documentary, “Pumping Iron.” In addition to the pot pics, Arnie fans and foes recently have been treated to Internet photos of a nothing-left-to-the-imagination nudie body-building Arnold, a shot of him with a towel that does little to cover his nether regions, a pic of a nude woman atop his shoulders piggy-back style, and footage of him promoting beer and a nicotine-and-high-caffeine beverage overseas.

Edited to add link and to beg someone to find those pictures for me. Hoping to end all this "duvet madness."

naked arnold

I Don't Bring You Flowersock posts
 

Uh...yeah....exactly.

The Restaurant
 

I'm trying to figure out how he can possibly have 2 successful restaurants when he looks like he hasn't got a clue. But there wouldn't be much point in watching if everything was going smoothly. I suspect a lot of stuff is set up -- for example it seems odd that cameras were there to see those 3 cooks talking about faking going to the hospital. And the paycheck snafu?

Important Things Before ATHF Airs
 

ATHF is short for Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It's a cartoon that airs 11:45 p.m. on Sunday nights on the Cartoon Network. It follows the adventures of the ATHF: Master Shake, a 7-foot tall, anthropomorphic shake, Frylock (who Atticus had as his avatar), a hovering box of french fries with a goatee, and Meatwad, who is really just a wad of meat. They get into adventures and harass Carl, their next door neighbor with an above-ground swimming pool, a love of arena rock, and lots of back hair. Did I mention they live in Jersey? It's very, very stupid, and very, very funny. My guess is if you are stoned, it's the most hilarious thing you've ever seen.

(By now, someone likely has already posted a description, but I like the give-and-take on the board. It makes me feel almost social.)

Important Things Before ATHF Airs
 

Demented and sad, but social.



:laugh:

Duvet
 

Does this mean one should say, hypothetically, "That was POSITIVELY your worst fucking post ever"?

S'Up

Inhale this
 

The one with the topless chick on his shoulders is here. There are discrete black bars over her nipples, but I don't vouch for the application of your firm's IT policy.

Inhale this
 

GOOD GOD what is this world coming to????? I believe you mean discreet. Perhaps not.

Duvet
 

No. But thanks for playing.

Duvet
 

FWIW, You're welcome, but YMMV.



edited because my left-brained inner timmy doesn't like unclosed brackets. peace out.

Communist plants
 

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan

Careful in your choice of cleaning products. I used Resolve carpet cleaner on a duvet and managed to turn a square foot of the thing a pale orange.

discrete/discreet
 

Fucking homophones, with their homophonic agendas and such!

Um, I mean, there were two nipples and therefore two black bars, and thus they were both discrete and discreet.

discrete/discreet
 

Yes, soon adultery may be legal!!! No more criminal prosecutions of adulterers.

Affleck, mindwiped
 

Affleck's upcoming movie "paycheck" has him playing a reverse engineer who's memory of his most recent assignment is erased. If the hero had been keanu, they wouldn't have needed to erase anything, but I digress. I think the reason Affleck doesn't look as good as he used to is because he's gained some fat. In "good will hunting" he had a good clean jaw line, he hasn't for some time. That, and he's just been going through the motions, kind of like plated or thurgreed when their on-line personas drifted from endless combinations of mean, angry and sarcastic, rather than simply retiring like the great patentgreedy.

I recommend "pirates of the carribean". It's a fun movie. Depp is great, as is Rush. Orlando Bloom and Knightly did a servicable performances, but nothing special.

"Dirty pretty things" is good as well. Chewitil Ejiofor did a standup job. Audrey Tautou is fine as well, although her role doesn't allow her to show off. Benedict Wong gets the fun lines, and delivers them well. E.g., while doing his job as some sort of morgue worker, he's stitching up the pockets of a corpse's suit:

"If he's a Buddhist, I'm giving him eternal peace for the price of a peice of thread.

"If he's an athiest, I'm ruining a perfectly good suit.

Communist plants
 

Seeing that the Mrs. and I shower together about 99.99% of the time, we're used to the (2) excuse. I imagine that our parents have caught on by now, but oh well.

This is why two showerheads and a huge shower area are key.

Gangs
 

PSSTTT... maybe everyone is ignoring you....

Ad(how many lawyer do you think are former gang members)Der

Duvets and office greenery
 

You mean real people actually iron sheets? Why??

Ad(and no smartass commens about how they, at least occassionally, expect somone else to see them)der

The Restaurant
 

I'm trying to figure out how he can be a porn star and switch over to more mainstream professions.

(Less and Slave should get this, as should you, Ms. "If I were being reckless, Rocco")

Gangs
 

I'm not an expert, and I'm not sure if we have any criminal lawyers on the Board anymore, but as I understand it, female gang members used to primarily gain membership via sex. They'd have sex with X number of gang members and then they'd be associated with the gang. I think more girls now are getting "beat in" than getting "sexed in." Traditional entry into a gang (for men) required you to get beat down by all of the other members of the gang before you were a full member. I think females who get beat in have more status in the gang than those who get sexed in.

I could ask a former classmate if you really needed to know.


edited to fix typo