Cum is a fucking disaster if you don't wear underwear. If you get a little morning action before work you have to be incredibly diligent to make sure no residual gets anywhere near your pants as your throwing on clothes and rushing to get to to the office. The shit never dries and leaves marks on khaki and stone colored pants. The worst is finding yourself on a bus or train, holding the hand handstrap, then looking down and realizing that there is a cute young girl sitting within close eyesight of your crotch, WHICH HAS A HUGE FUCKIN' CUMSTAIN ON IT. What do you do? Say "Oh... excuse me, that's urine"??? You're fucked. Now every time she sees you on the bus she'll think "that's the cumstain or bladder problem guy" and you'll have to try to find a spot on the bus far away from her. God forbid you get on and the seat next to her is the only one open...

S(The only thing worse I could imagine would be to "gamble and lose" on the bus/train)D

The Simple Life
 

Uh, I dont see any of them jetsetting around the world in their Manolos to go from party to party. Why do you think Jacki O had to marry Onassis?

The Granddaddy of Reality TV
 

Still holding a special spot in my heart, news from Real World/Road Rules alum -

Road Rules Campus Crawl cast member Shane Landrum says that during the taping of The Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes, Puck became "like a big brother" to Shane, giving him advice about how to deal with his impending fame. Shane also says that because the cast was "under lockdown" and the resort didn't offer anything to keep them amused, "we just sat around and got high." He also reveals that Bunim-Murray pays $1,000 for therapy for cast members, and says that appearing on the shows, "You are exploited. That's what you're signing up to be. Your life is taken from a different perspective. My sexuality and relationship with my parents was taken from me. They robbed me and left me with nothing." He'll be doing another Battle of the Sexes this fall.



PS to Paigs, you have any special plans for number 1000?

The Simple Life
 

Ted Kennedy recently disclosed blind trusts of between 25-25 mil.

JFK Jr was worth close to $100mil when he died allegedly.

The Kennedys have always shunned the manolo and jetsetting crowd. They're more ski and shore family vacation types... always trying to imitate the patrician wasps.

Jacki mrried O because he had a huge fucking cock.

Can I use you as a character in my soon to be world famous stand up routine? Seriously. I can recount your one night stand with the rimjob freak, your love of corn, your cumstain issues, your transition from pompous, class obsessed freak to plastic surgery diggin man of the people. I am sure the board will mainly agree that it will be mostly hilarious.

The Simple Life
 

Plus, she's got a set of pipes on her.

Or wait. That's XTina.

The Simple Life
 

John O'Hara??? I don't see the similarity.

Tori Spelling... dios mio was she uglier than a bag of assholes. I always found it bizarre that she played the character most obsessed with keeping her virginity in 90210. I wanted to scream, "Fuck... you look like Gumbi's sister! I say take whatever dick is offered becuase as soon as he sobers up, he's going to sprint from your place like Carl Lewis running the 400 on methamphetamines!"

The Simple Life
 

I recall from some crap biopic or another that there is an answer to this, involving trusts for offspring not widows or something, but I am too lazy to google it to find out. But I think the lack of jet-setting by Kennedys may have more to do with the family's continuing political ambitions than lack of funds. Jet-setting doesn't actually require that huge a fortune, I understand; it is quite usual to be a jet-setter riding on someone else's money or, once you're sort of established, getting comped to show up to add cache to jet-setty sorts of things.

But dilution is a real issue, particularly if the trusts aren't set up with the long-game in mind. I was told by a my-generation Rockefeller (5th gen? can't remember) some years ago that the estate was pretty thoroughly diluted since there were gazillions of them running around, and the only thing standing between him and actually having to work for a living was the fact that the trust was set up for the family as a whole, not individuals, therefore letting them escape a lot of raiding/profligacy problems and letting the aggregate investments actually make a real profit.

The Simple Life
 

First it was Elvis. Then Tupac. Now its JFK Jr? Does Oliver Stone know about this?

aV

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

Here's the Sport's Guy comparing OC to 90210 and Melrose and Dawson's Creek:

"But here's the big thing: None of the "OC" actors -- with the possible exception of the Aryan boyfriend -- are bad enough to rate on the Unintentional Comedy Scale, an integral part of 90210's success. Remember David Silver singing and dancing, Tori Spelling's cleavage (which looked like a a thumbprint in a pound of ground beef), Noah Hunter rattling out his lines like his mouth was on fire, or every scene with Ian Ziering? Remember Dr. Michael Mancini on "Melrose," or the immortal Andrew Shue? I'm not sure "The OC" has these things, which brings it closer to "Dawson's Creek" than anything. And that was the problem with "Dawson" -- it always took itself too seriously. That's why I didn't like that show. Josh Jackson stumbling through his lines can only go so far."

The Simple Life
 

But the rich are different. It's more relevant that Tori's dad is richer'n Onassis than that he's nominally a celebrity. It's so much easier to get long-lasting exposure when daddy is the executive producer of the show.

If you're merely the ugly child of a (non-astronomically wealthy) celebrity, your 15 minutes end fast, just ask the Osbourne kids in a couple years.

Speaking of Tori, has anyone even looked at her face since she got those implants?

The Simple Life
 

Implants!!??!! I don't believe it.

The Simple Life
 

On a mostly unrelated note, the E! True Hollywood Story: Jenna Jameson was on again last night, and I managed to catch most of it. I've never been a Jenna fan, but it was pretty interesting. For someone who's been in the business as long as she has, she still looks pretty good.

I do wish they would have had some pics from her druggie period -- she said she was smoking speed, didn't eat for weeks and was down under 80 pounds. That would have been freaky.

Her brother is the guy Jack Osbourne hopes to be in 20 years.

The Simple Life
 

Dude, no matter what they stick on her chest, she's still fuckable only from behind, and only after at least a six-pack.

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

I have no idea what OC is, but that is a great explanation. As for Dawson's Creek though, Dawson's freakishly enormous head was good for some unintentional comedy. He also forgot to mention Shannen Doherty's freakish asymmetric eyes and Jason Priestly's eyebrows and sideburns that looked like strategically placed furry rodents.

Scott Weiland Clean and Sober
 

Okay, maybe not, but he has managed to avoid jail time --

NEW YORK (Billboard) -- Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland has been sentenced to three years probation in Pasadena, California, following a May arrest on two felony drug possession charges.

He will be required to continue counseling and rehab sessions, as well as submit to random drug testing. His sentence was handed down on Thursday.

Weiland, 35, was arrested during a routine traffic stop on May 17 in Burbank, California, after police allegedly spotted drug paraphernalia inside the car. He and the driver of the car, 29-year-old Jennifer Lynn Sires, were later charged with cocaine and heroin possession.

Similar drug charges sent Weiland to prison in 1999, after he repeatedly violated his probation and failed to complete a rehab program. "Scott is doing very well, thanks everybody for their support and is looking forward to making the Velvet Revolver album to be released early next year," according the artist's publicist.

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

The OC - a troubled youth from the wrong side of the tracks, thrown into the criminal justice system, is taken home to Orange County by his rich, good-looking criminal defense attorney, who sees that the kid could be put straight with a little love and understanding.

Gag inducing?

I Love the 70's
 

I cannot fathom why they wasted 10 minutes discussing the blatant drug references in "H.R. Pufnstuff" but couldn't put out the same effort for the Willy Wonka movie. I mean, geez.

They should just do the show with Hal Sparks, Mo Rocca, Michael Ian Black, and the bald white guy from ESPN. Everybody else has nothing to ass. The chick formerly on TDS is great eye candy --- she's the blonde Tina Fey --- but she's only about 60% funny, which isn't enough to make the cut.

The Simple Life
 

Just turn the lights off already. No six-pack required, although it might not hurt.

Tori would be the Man-Ho equivalent of working at a sweatshop instead of a lifestyle firm. You got to suck it up, but if you can do it, you get the goodies.

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

Give them a break. They were from Minnesota.

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

Agreed. Under the circumstances, we should give them a medal just for not being motherjumpin' huge.

The Simple Life
 

I think they call it a yacht. Besides most of the Kennedy women marry money don't they? They don't marry the back-up dancers (like some women we know). Look at Maria the potential soon to be Mrs. California. And speaking of Maria, I saw her picture on the cover of this week's People (while I was in line at the supermarket last night) and she claims to be 47, and I know people who are 47, and if that picture was touched-up in any way, that woman is either waaay older, or that's 47 years of really hard living. Of course having a half dozen of Arnold's spawn probably sucked the life out of her.

The Simple Life
 

And with the exception of Mrs. Ahnold - they all seem to have public interest (no pay) jobs. Gotta have some $$$ left in the till.

britney
 

Has this been discussed already? I think she looks cute enough, but the dress does nothing for her, although the fashion police seem to disagree with me.
http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Fashio...42,639,00.html
(britney pic)

britney
 

The cocktail waitresses at Caesar's Palace wear the same outfit! Only they make them wear their hair up.

britney
 

I keep seeing her on t.v. asking me if I'm ready for her. Or football. Or her and football. And Aerosmith. Didn't we do that already during a superbowl half-time show? It wasn't so great the first time around.

I say bring back Up with People.

aV

The Simple Life
 

Which hardly makes up for the fact that he was a repulsive toad.

Please don't tell me you're a member of the League of Rich Fat Furry Ugly Bald Guys Who Truly Believe Women Are Physically Attracted To Them.

Mecha-Bridezilla
 

While your wedding reception should reflect your personal family values, you might want to class it up a notch if your family values include going apeshit and getting arrested. Brides like this give Connecticut a bad name.

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com...age_wxs116.jpg

The Simple Life
 

repulsive is relative; if your last crush's brains ended up in your lap, you can better deal with a toad going there next

Connecticut Weddings
 

Here's a link to a great story. Check out the mugshot of the bride! If I had tats like that, I might choose a different dress.

http://www.WTNH.com/Global/story.asp?s=1406853

str8 missin' the CT.

Mecha-Bridezilla
 

Tonya Harding got married?

The Simple Life
 

I am a regularly-haired cat (face/limbs/chest/head, but not back). And no - no balding at all. Quite to contrary I've a habit of wearing three day facial hair shadow and letting my hair get too long sometimes.

I just figured O had a huge cock because he was so ugly that the money alone couldn't make up for unpleasantness of having to look at his face during sex.

S(I sometimes think, however, that I'd trade my appearance for being rich, fat, bald and furry)D

Mecha-Bridezilla
 

with 2 tattoos like that she probably shouldn't be wearing white at all, but certainly not something off the shoulder

Connecticut Weddings
 

damn beat me by 3 posts

Connecticut Weddings
 

And, other than the wedding dress, this differs from a night on Crown street how?

britney
 

She is in serious danger of becoming the oldest looking 20-something since that Trumpette skizzank Marla Maples was on the scene.

not7yS

When Threads Collide
 

Tragically, they have cancelled Roseanne's cooking show (although her reality show about making the cooking show has not yet been cancelled) because she claims she has to have a hysterectomy. But being a big fan of hers, and putting aside how my heart reaches out to her suffering from that psychological disorder (of which I forget the name) where people undergo needless surgery, I am hopeful that she will be able to get down under 200 pounds (of scar tissue) when the loss of her womb is combined with the prior loss of her stomach. While this may make Tom Arnold's jokes on "I Love the 70's" a little less funny to future generations because they won't get the references, Roseanne's health comes first. At least she was able to pass her wonderful genes on too five lovely children before the regretable need to excise her uterus.

Less (remember the Roseanne of "It's very, very important to me to do a show on raising children as normal people in kind of a crazy world, teaching children about responsibility," not the Roseanne of "Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?") inSF

If you can't wait for AI3
 

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,95059,00.html

BEIRUT, Lebanon — And you thought "American Idol" fans were excitable. They've got nothing on the millions of Arabs backing their national favorites on the show's Middle East knockoff.

When the Lebanese frontrunner was eliminated in the semifinals last week, angry fans in the audience pelted each other with chairs or anything else they could find, and the two remaining contestants fainted. Scores of people took to the streets in Lebanon to protest.

When Threads Collide
 

You can't remember Baron Munchausen's syndrome?* Somewhere, Terry Gilliam's heart is breaking. Again.

*Confidential to bridge of love: No, I didn't Google that, you motherfucking punk. I come from a long line of run-of-the-mill hypochondriacs who wanted to upcode up their diagnoses, social climbers that they are. It's the closest we'll come to royalty.

When Threads Collide
 

Not to belittle your funny post, but what does "upcode up" mean? Is it like upgrade? The jargon is over my head.

Edited to note that I didn't mean to say "belittle" - I meant to say "detract from" - I don't know why I typed that - like a freudian slip or something.