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futbol fan 09-27-2005 03:21 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
What the fuck is our military spending going to?

Toxic darts? No frickin' laser beams?
2. Toxic darts are gayer than a Thurgreed multi-color post.

ltl/fb 09-27-2005 03:21 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TexLex
I just baked some double choolate chip cookies. You're welcome to visit. They're still molten. Mmmmm.
Chocolate batter/chocolate chips, or two kinds of chocolate chips?

Shape Shifter 09-27-2005 03:21 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Gattigap
Beyond the obvious risks of floating debris in the Gulf, here's another reason not to go swimmin' on the Gulf side for the foreseeable future:

Killer Dolphins.
  • It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

    Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

    Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

    Leo Sheridan, 72, a respected accident investigator who has worked for government and industry, said he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service confirming dolphins had escaped.

    'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

So. Acquatic Lesson for the Day: Do Not Forget Your Swimming Buddy.

Gattigap
I just hope they're caught before they teach their skills to the other dolphins.

TexLex 09-27-2005 03:22 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Chocolate batter/chocolate chips, or two kinds of chocolate chips?
Chocolate batter. Milk chocolate chips.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone 09-27-2005 03:24 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TexLex
Chocolate batter. Milk chocolate chips.
Milk chocolate chips suck. At least it's not "white chocolate," but still.

TexLex 09-27-2005 03:25 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Milk chocolate chips suck.
No worries. You weren't invited.

Hank Chinaski 09-27-2005 03:25 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Your willful blindness is not my concern.

Do all of you people have Hank (and whoever the other person is who calls me fatty constantly -- TM?) on ignore or something?
No. I haven't called you fat in a year. I've been all positive reinforcement.

ltl/fb 09-27-2005 03:28 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TexLex
No worries. You weren't invited.
Milk choc chips are fine with me. I would even tolerate white choc chips if the cookie batter were sufficiently chocolatey. I'll be over after lunch. Thanks!! ETA thanks for the clear message to Ollie. I don't think I'm ready to see him yet. I'm still recovering from the breakup. And feeding time is a time of vulnerability for me.

Hank, that is crap, but I am not going to go back and find stuff because I don't care that much.

ThurgreedMarshall 09-27-2005 03:29 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ironweed
2. Toxic darts are gayer than a Thurgreed multi-color post.
But not as gay as your green and white striped shirt.

TM

paigowprincess 09-27-2005 03:34 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Your willful blindness is not my concern.

Do all of you people have Hank (and whoever the other person is who calls me fatty constantly -- TM?) on ignore or something?
No but I assume they havent met you IRL, and that it is a schtick. Based on your all meat and starbucks sugary crap, no vegetable diet, I gotta assume maybe it isnt. I can understand dessert, but when a large cupcake like muffin is how you start yoru day, which would inevitably lead to a empty caloric sugar crash by 1030, I cant expect the rest ofyour day is looking too good.
but thats just me. I am far superior to you and thus the ultimate choice in Internet GF to the A listers such as Sebby and Ollie.

taxwonk 09-27-2005 03:39 PM
Mind on my money
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
This is not the act of a friend.

If you were my friend, then your enemies, like this TaxWonk, would become my enemies- and then they would fear you.
Never take sides against the family, Hanko

ltl/fb 09-27-2005 03:41 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
No but I assume they havent met you IRL, and that it is a schtick. Based on your all meat and starbucks sugary crap, no vegetable diet, I gotta assume maybe it isnt. I can understand dessert, but when a large cupcake like muffin is how you start yoru day, which would inevitably lead to a empty caloric sugar crash by 1030, I cant expect the rest ofyour day is looking too good.
but thats just me. I am far superior to you and thus the ultimate choice in Internet GF to the A listers such as Sebby and Ollie.
Ass-u-me?

But I am perfectly happy to concede your inherent superiority and you are welcome to Ollie and Sebby.

str8outavannuys 09-27-2005 03:43 PM
Hey LA Folks
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Can I go with your wife? And why the hate for Mr. Man?

ETA putting my name last was a nice attempt at denying/hiding your (internet) luuuuuuv for me.
I guess she's a bigger fan of the baby than of the New Pornographers. Though she loved their last LA show and enjoys the first two albums. Fringey, I invite you to go over to Silver Lake and "go" with my wife anytime you'd like.

Mr. Man, apologies for the omission - you want in?

paigowprincess 09-27-2005 03:44 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Ass-u-me?

But I am perfectly happy to concede your inherent superiority and you are welcome to Ollie and Sebby.
When you take your masked lovers down to your dungeon, do you make them smear Dream Pies all over your belly before penetration?

futbol fan 09-27-2005 03:46 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
But not as gay as your green and white striped shirt.

TM
You looking for a doing?

http://killiefc.com/Misc%20Images/Ti...rd%20Thugs.jpg

str8outavannuys 09-27-2005 03:46 PM
J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
The only post season game I've ever attended, the Oilers beat the Jets in a wild-card match up in the Astrodome. I've liked them ever since then.

Fucking Broncos.
The only NFL post season game I've ever attended is the only one in history that my beloved Red White & Blue ever lost in Orchard Park, NY.

Fuckin Jags.

ltl/fb 09-27-2005 03:49 PM
Hey LA Folks
 
Quote:
Originally posted by str8outavannuys
I guess she's a bigger fan of the baby than of the New Pornographers. Though she loved their last LA show and enjoys the first two albums. Fringey, I invite you to go over to Silver Lake and "go" with my wife anytime you'd like.
Are you going to reconsider this after you see paigow's definitive proof of my gross obesity?

I think the suspense is going to kill me.

Replaced_Texan 09-27-2005 03:49 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
A victim* of hurricane rita has asked me to pose the following question:

If an large arts organization specializing in the exhibition of works of art were to have a party on a Friday night every month to draw people into its art space, what would a good name for the party be? The organization would be open to midnight, probably try to draw in a few djs or bands, serve alcohol, have its gallaries open, coffee, maybe movies and readings, etc. The point is to have the organization appeal to a younger hipper audience. The party may be associated with an exhibition, but maybe not. For example, for an upcoming Basquiat exhibition several old skool hip-hop djs have been lined up.

"Sampling" was struck down by higher powers.








*Stuck in traffic for a few hours. Suffered from incredible cabin fever. Held captive for three days by someone else's television choices.

str8outavannuys 09-27-2005 03:49 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Gattigap
Beyond the obvious risks of floating debris in the Gulf, here's another reason not to go swimmin' on the Gulf side for the foreseeable future:

Killer Dolphins.
  • It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

    Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

    Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

    Leo Sheridan, 72, a respected accident investigator who has worked for government and industry, said he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service confirming dolphins had escaped.

    'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

So. Acquatic Lesson for the Day: Do Not Forget Your Swimming Buddy.

Gattigap
This sounds like the worst pitch ever. So bad that even my soon-to-be-former employer wouldn't spend more than, oh, $100,000 for an 18-month option on it.

dtb 09-27-2005 03:52 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
I am far superior to you and thus the ultimate choice in Internet GF to the A listers such as Sebby and Ollie.
There's a list?!?

Where can I get a copy? Supermarket checkout?

Gattigap 09-27-2005 03:53 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by str8outavannuys
This sounds like the worst pitch ever. So bad that even my soon-to-be-former employer wouldn't spend more than, oh, $100,000 for an 18-month option on it.
$100k?

I can do that. You're around until Friday, right? I can get a full treatment in place by then. Call the boys, let's do lunch on Thursday and get this wrapped up before they give you the gold watch.

And Flinty, let's get typing. Double-time.

TexLex 09-27-2005 03:53 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
A victim* of hurricane rita has asked me to pose the following question:
Change "Exhibition" to "Bar" and you'd probably see a marked increase in attendance.

Replaced_Texan 09-27-2005 03:55 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TexLex
Change "Exhibition" to "Bar" and you'd probably see a marked increase in attendance.
Covered. The art world learned long, long ago that alcohol should always be served at art related events.

Shape Shifter 09-27-2005 04:00 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
There's a list?!?

Where can I get a copy? Supermarket checkout?
Right next to InStyle. From TMQ:



Once Again, It Seems Nothing Is Sexy Now: Each year, TMQ scans newsstands for the September "What's Sexy Now?" issue of InStyle, the celeb-lifestyle magazine that's thick enough to be the hearing record of the John Roberts nomination. Owing to hundreds of ads, this September's "What's Sexy Now?" issue of InStyle is 602 pages long; The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton is 381 pages. Future historians will surely study the "What's Sexy Now?" issues of InStyle to understand how 21st century society made sex sound so completely ridiculous it's a wonder anyone bothers to do it.


There's nothing immature about the stunning beauty Jennifer Garner.
This year's "What's Sexy Now?" issue has Jennifer Garner as cover star. Remarkably, InStyle's photographers manage to make this very beautiful woman look ordinary, while the text makes her seem a vacuous dolt. InStyle declares Garner "an accidental sex kitten" because she "giggles when she puts on lingerie." The magazine explains that she refers to her breasts as "biscuits." InStyle quotes an admirer of Garner as saying, "She's warm, generous and such a girl," the italics original. What, she's immature? This is what her admirers say?

After the cover piece, the "What's Sexy Now?" issue tumbles downhill to its annual inventory of celebrity turn-ons. Jessica Alba declares her turn-on is imagining she is President of the United States and sitting in the Oval Office surrounded by handsome aides who await her every instruction. Jessica, the whole sex-in-the-Oval-Office thing didn't really work out for Bill Clinton. Patrick Dempsey declares that car racing is "a metaphor for love" because of "the sound, the speed." Patrick, your love life involves spinning out of control and hitting walls. Joan Allen says she likes to have sex in a cornfield because of "the rustling sound." Maybe Dempsey and Allen should make out in a race car parked in a cornfield. Sean Combs declares that "a person's eyes reveal the truth, that's why I wear shades." This leaves us to wonder what he's hiding.


Matthew McConaughey loves to see a little grace in the rear.
Kelly Ripa and husband Mark Consuelos report their sex-fantasy game is for her to dress up like one of Charlie's Angels while he dresses up like a motorcycle cop; he pretends he has pulled her over and she has to get out of the ticket. Um, it would have been sexier if they'd kept that to themselves. Matthew McConaughey declares that if a woman has a "perfect backside" but "moves without grace," he's turned off. Thanks for sharing your high standards. Teri Hatcher shares that her navel is "an area of my body that I've struggled with liking." Hatcher goes on to say that Paris is "the sexiest destination, but not in an obvious way," while her "sexiest moment" is to be at a nightclub dancing all by herself.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/8898660

Shape Shifter 09-27-2005 04:02 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
A victim* of hurricane rita has asked me to pose the following question:

If an large arts organization specializing in the exhibition of works of art were to have a party on a Friday night every month to draw people into its art space, what would a good name for the party be? The organization would be open to midnight, probably try to draw in a few djs or bands, serve alcohol, have its gallaries open, coffee, maybe movies and readings, etc. The point is to have the organization appeal to a younger hipper audience. The party may be associated with an exhibition, but maybe not. For example, for an upcoming Basquiat exhibition several old skool hip-hop djs have been lined up.

"Sampling" was struck down by higher powers.








*Stuck in traffic for a few hours. Suffered from incredible cabin fever. Held captive for three days by someone else's television choices.
Rock-n-Roll Fag Bar.

SlaveNoMore 09-27-2005 04:03 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Replaced_Texan
A victim* of hurricane rita has asked me to pose the following question:

If an large arts organization specializing in the exhibition of works of art were to have a party on a Friday night every month to draw people into its art space, what would a good name for the party be? The organization would be open to midnight, probably try to draw in a few djs or bands, serve alcohol, have its gallaries open, coffee, maybe movies and readings, etc. The point is to have the organization appeal to a younger hipper audience. The party may be associated with an exhibition, but maybe not. For example, for an upcoming Basquiat exhibition several old skool hip-hop djs have been lined up.

"Sampling" was struck down by higher powers.
Ollie tells us that ZING!!! is available.

Sparklehorse 09-27-2005 04:04 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
A victim* of hurricane rita has asked me to pose the following question:

If an large arts organization specializing in the exhibition of works of art were to have a party on a Friday night every month to draw people into its art space, what would a good name for the party be? The organization would be open to midnight, probably try to draw in a few djs or bands, serve alcohol, have its gallaries open, coffee, maybe movies and readings, etc. The point is to have the organization appeal to a younger hipper audience. The party may be associated with an exhibition, but maybe not. For example, for an upcoming Basquiat exhibition several old skool hip-hop djs have been lined up.

"Sampling" was struck down by higher powers.








*Stuck in traffic for a few hours. Suffered from incredible cabin fever. Held captive for three days by someone else's television choices.
FWIW, the MFA in Boston has something called First Fridays. I've never been but the MFA site describes it as "sensational cocktails, a delicious tapas menu, fine art, a glorious Museum setting, and [live music]." Its reputation is for oodles of smart, attractive women and sparse pickings in the man department.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone 09-27-2005 04:06 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Rock-n-Roll Fag Bar.
Or maybe "Spin Class."

ltl/fb 09-27-2005 04:07 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Covered. The art world learned long, long ago that alcohol should always be served at art related events.
Emphasize the alcohol in the name?

TexLex 09-27-2005 04:07 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
...probably try to draw in a few djs or bands...
I can offer up my unemployed musician brother for your entertainment pleasure. As far as I know, he's straight; does it matter?

Replaced_Texan 09-27-2005 04:09 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Sparklehorse
FWIW, the MFA in Boston has something called First Fridays. I've never been but the MFA site describes it as "sensational cocktails, a delicious tapas menu, fine art, a glorious Museum setting, and [live music]." Its reputation is for oodles of smart, attractive women and sparse pickings in the man department.
I believe that is exactly what the the hurricane victim's organization (which has a remarkably similar name) is looking to do.

The Contemporary Arts Museum across the street has the Steel Lounge, which tends to attract a lot of hipsters.

Hank Chinaski 09-27-2005 04:09 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
A victim* of hurricane rita has asked me to pose the following question:

If an large arts organization specializing in the exhibition of works of art were to have a party on a Friday night every month to draw people into its art space, what would a good name for the party be? The organization would be open to midnight, probably try to draw in a few djs or bands, serve alcohol, have its gallaries open, coffee, maybe movies and readings, etc. The point is to have the organization appeal to a younger hipper audience. The party may be associated with an exhibition, but maybe not. For example, for an upcoming Basquiat exhibition several old skool hip-hop djs have been lined up.

"Sampling" was struck down by higher powers.








*Stuck in traffic for a few hours. Suffered from incredible cabin fever. Held captive for three days by someone else's television choices.
This is in Houston, right?


Enron LIQUIDation- Member's Only Presale.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone 09-27-2005 04:10 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Emphasize the alcohol in the name?
Drunken Double Anal?

LessinSF 09-27-2005 04:10 PM
Mister Pine's Purple House.
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Bob
I am going to be stuck on an airplane for several hours in a week or two, and need something to read other than briefs and five month old copies of the ABA Journal and Lowenthal's Collected Slip and Fall Slip (Hah!) Opinions.

Any suggestions? Fiction or non-fiction is fine. No Ayn Rand or books by people who yell on TV for a living.

Thanks!
I'm working my way through Robert Wilson's stuff. His books featuring Bruce Medway (A Darkening Stain, The Big Killing, Blood is Dirt) are detective novels set in West Africa (Ivory Coast, Nigeria, and Benin) invovling lots of killin', corruption, and insight into what a fucked-up area of the world that is.

Flinty_McFlint 09-27-2005 04:12 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Gattigap
$100k?

I can do that. You're around until Friday, right? I can get a full treatment in place by then. Call the boys, let's do lunch on Thursday and get this wrapped up before they give you the gold watch.

And Flinty, let's get typing. Double-time.
So wait, I should stop work on the Joe Piscopo/Jean Claude Van Damme buddy cop movie?

Hank Chinaski 09-27-2005 04:13 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
So wait, I should stop work on the Joe Piscopo/Jean Claude Van Damme buddy cop movie?
When did Tom Arnold leave BDSSE, and was it voluntary?

paigowprincess 09-27-2005 04:13 PM
Breakfast pastry update
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
There's a list?!?

Where can I get a copy? Supermarket checkout?

Pamphlets were handed out to participating SKEKs in the Yahoo daze.

paigowprincess 09-27-2005 04:15 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Emphasize the alcohol in the name?
Booze for Cooze?

NotFromHere 09-27-2005 04:19 PM
Rita victim assistance
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Emphasize the alcohol in the name?
From Art to Hangovers?
Friday Night Prefunction?

Gattigap 09-27-2005 04:21 PM
No more swimmin' in the Redneck Riviera
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
So wait, I should stop work on the Joe Piscopo/Jean Claude Van Damme buddy cop movie?
Yeah. Brass put it on hold once they realized that Joe's actually thinking about running for NJ governor.

So we might have to Do An Arnold with the script until he flames out in the general or finishes his term.


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