That is really hot.

I find myself wondering why the damn car won't move as I rev the engine up to a millyun RPMs, as everyone in the car is looking at me funny, until I sheepishly let my foot off the clutch, er, brake.

Fleeting fame and more.
 

This brings up a question I have. I am growing my hair out. My head hair, not my body hair. Right now its in a sort of awkward in between stage but at the same time is looking sort of bad 1970s, but in an intriguingly 1970s porno star type of good way. My Gucci wrap sunglasses magnify the look, NPI.

Should I grow a moustache to go with this look?

I do all of the above, plus one little extra. I'm forever getting keys stuck in ignitions because I turn off the car before putting it back in park.

Fleeting fame and more.
 

Absolutely. Then you'll fit in with all the other dudes at the strip clubs. Don't forget the sideburns!!perfect sideburns

Fleeting fame and more.
 

Are you making fun of sideburns narcy?

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Try The Gender Genie. It takes a passage of text and tells you, based on an algorithm, the gender of the author.

So far, I've been able to determine that:

ThrashersFan = F
Taxwonk = M
Connect the Dots = F
W.W.L.D. = F
Coltrane = M
Purse Junkie = F
SEC_Chick = F
RT = M
Gwinky = F
Shape Shifter = M
reba = F
Paig's Sock = F
Less = F
Me = F

It's uncanny!

Gangbanged
 

Scroll, then google. Scroll, then google.

Fleeting fame and more.
 

A. I don't go to stripper bars anymore. The previous post cited my cumulative lifetime total before I quit going to stripper bars, which I believe was in 2001, two years ago from this coming Monday. In BC.

I do walk past the Lusty Lady. Daily. And occassionally I suggestively ogle the haggard looking strippers outside between shifts catching a schmoke. But I don't go in.\

2. Me..sideburns? Its Seattle, you do the math.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

I have been reduced to math before.

So, I had to present at a CLE today (luckily within shufflin distance) and I come back to ye olde office and lo, yay for me, a new cd shipment:

Mink Lungs
Black Box Recorder
Shesus
Magic Magicians
And a replacement Bikini Kill disc (leave one of those multi-disc portable players out in a severe rainstorm and see how hard it is to pry your discs out with a screwdriver).

Fleeting fame and more.
 

Deck!!!
 

This is soo fucking cool. It is a shame that I am posting it so late.

A gallery of women in spacesuits.

Should Have Labeled It Face Cream
 

WILLIAMSPORT, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A New York gangster who smuggled his semen out of federal prison to impregnate his wife was sentenced to an additional 16 months in prison.

Kevin Granato, a convicted hit man for the Colombo crime family, and his wife, Regina, pleaded guilty in May to charges they used a cryogenic sperm kit to sneak his sperm from Allenwood Federal Prison to a New York fertility clinic.

The couple's daughter is now 3.

Regina Granato, 40, said the smuggled sperm plot was "made out of pure love."

"We love our daughter and it is her that gives us the only joy and pleasure we have," she wrote in a plea for leniency.

Granato, 43, whose current prison sentence for racketeering and murder runs until 2012, could have been sentenced to another 35 years.

The gangster came under suspicion after he was seen in the visitation room showing off a toddler he called his child, even though he had been in jail since 1988 and did not have conjugal visits.

Mob associate Antonio Parlavecchio and his wife, Maria, were indicted on similar charges in December 2000. He had an extra six months added to his sentence.

But in that case, a federal appeals court ordered the vials of sperm destroyed, saying Maria Parlavecchio wasn't entitled to the "fruits of her criminal activity."

There have been as many as five other cases of sperm smuggling at Allenwood, prosecutors said.

Guards were also bribed to ignore smuggling of bodybuilding pills, toiletries, Genoa salami and Romano cheese, authorities said. More than a dozen people were charged in the schemes, including four guards.

[required link]

So . . . sneaking sperm with a "cryogenic sperm kit" is illegal?

[insert your own robust witicism]

Should Have Labeled It Face Cream
 

Foreigner said it best:

You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our love

You never take advice
Someday you'll pay the price
I know

I've seen it before
It happens all the time
You're closing the door
You leave the world behind
You're smuggling jizz
And throwing away
A fortune in feelings
But someday you'll pay

Cold as ice, you know that you are
Cold, cold, as, as, ice, as cold as ice to me
Cold, cold, as, as, ice....

CDF (ice, ice baby...'nilla in the chilla)

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Well damn. Learn something new every day. Male, huh?

Corno star hair
 

I saw the perfect t-shirt for you at the State Fair this evening. It is from this company but they don't have it on their web site yet. It says "Cornstar" and it suits you to a ....T

http://www.farmboy.us

BTW, don't grow a mustache. That would be cheesy beyond belief. TISWWT. YMMV ETC.

Fleeting fame and more.
 

And yet, the Vig is still flowing.

Deadbeat.

not7y(almost halfway to Ty and Paigs post total, but not)S

Corno star hair
 

You do realize that my birthday is in less than 30 days? I promise not to grow the 'stache:D

Although both the Mrs. and my stylist want me to grow a patch thing under the lower lip.

Fleeting fame and more.
 

You ever hear of falling off the wagon?! Allah forbid you ever show up in Seattle.

P(more than halfway to Paigs if you count my socks)A

Fleeting fame and more.
 

[VURP]

It knows all! It sees all!
 

What a remarkable program. Please share with RP, who lacks rithm.

Deck!!!
 

Women in spacesuits are cool. Kinda like guys w/ (with, e/o, with) jet packs and monkeys.

Should Have Labeled It Face Cream
 

Smart assedy comments are preferred.

Amazing Race
 

s
p
o
i
l
e
r

s
p
a
c
e













Good finale. At least 2 teams kept it close... Kind of felt for the guys who got stuck in Tokyo. Idiots. Reichen cracked me up when he made the comment while skydiving "I feel safer doing this than riding in the backseat while Chip is driving." And John breaking the rock without shorts on. Nice.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Shape Shifter, indeed. Look what happened:


The Gender Genie
Scroll down for your results...

Original: What a remarkable program. Please share with RP, who lacks rithm.

Score: -8
Words: 11

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: Female!

It knows all! It sees all!
 

If you can give drunken stick-shifting lessons, I can channel my feminine side in my posts.

anttwat

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

First, if there is some prisoner out there who has convinced a womajn to impregnate herself with his junk, I don't think that the government should get in the way. I know that these guys in question are probably murderers, and part of the whole incarceration thing is about taking away rights, but it freaks me out. Once you start down the road of restricting conception, where do you stop? Slipperly slope and all that.

Some Amazing Race spoilers:














Where are Chip and Reichen from? Will they ever shut the hell up about being gay? If they were from a big city, it seems like they would be over the whole "we know that everyone looks down on us because we're gay" thing. "We want to show everybody that gay people are just like everyone else." Uh, it's not 1992 anymore, and Will and Grace has been popular in Omaha for years. Enough with the chips on your shoulders. No pun intended, I guess. The mellow guy seems ok, and the crazy guy seems crazy. I can't believe they didn't roll their SUV when he was driving. It was super lucky that they didn't; after seeing them break the rock, there's no way that they could have righted it and still managed to keep up with the other teams. And I liked that David and Jeff lost. They were pretty arrogant at the end about everything. Is there a second prize?








Finally, I spent several hours at my local printer last night ("Uh, you guys still haven't fixed the punctuation of the underwriter's name on page 143. There's no period. Also, could you see if you can find a heavier cue for the pool table and some more of those Dove bars.")[1] Anyway, before I moved on to other things, I tried to screw around on this site for a while and flirt with ltl and rp over pm. But this site was blocked! Or maybe it was down! But I suspect the former, and I wonder what compelled the printer to do that.

[1] If I'm at the printer alone, I always like to set up my work area in one of the rooms where they have a pool table. The Playstation 2 is nice, too, but their games suck. And I think that it would be weird to bring in games just for that. So, lately, I've been working on my nine ball while at the printer. It's not like I can't proof pages, when they finally bring them, between shots. A partner was telling me that both the major printers seem much slower than they used to be; he speculated that they drag their feet to rack up more time (that the client pays for anyway) because their business is WAY down. Makes sense to me; they were slow as hell and I had plenty of time to eat Dove bars and play pool. I tried to get some joker on another deal to play with me, but he hadn't even taken off his jacket and tie yet. Dude, it's the fucking printer. We all get that you went to Yale or Harvard or Stanford or wherever and now you're at Kirkland or Skadden or whatever, but you're still chasing commas. Take it a little easy.

Anna and her new bra
 

http://money.cnn.com/2003/08/22/news...ikova/anna.jpg

Great stomach...

Anyone who says her ship has sailed is on crack. Granted, at 22, she's way over the hill, but she still looks fantastic. I don't see any wrinkles or excess cellulite...I'll take this old maid any day of the week...

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

It wasn't down, so probably blocked, and if so, who knows why. Could be all the sex talk. Or they could block any number of sites automatically, a lot of companies do, using filters to block things without actually blocking specific sites.

Anna and her new bra
 

her tennis ship has sailed.

anyway, i'll certainly be clicking that lawtalkers amazon link a little bit more now.

[ETA:] Although apparently meelyuns of others have beat me to it, as the Amazon site has crashed. Or IT has already blocked it.

Anna and her new bra
 

She can shift the gears on my Outback any time.

(Still channeling)

PETA members can't vote, Mini-Kiss, Sheepish grins, and More
 

To save some bandwidth:

Buy a crappy taco, get a vote . So, please check the Taco Bell poll results so you know for whom to cast your actual vote.

Pick Up Line Constest winners -- my favorite:
This one only works on a woman holding a baby: "So, I see you like to fuck."

Obviously, the sheep are fed up with your never-ending exploitation God-Boy. [sheep run away from Bible school play]. The first act was named "The Lost Sheep." Ooooh, that *is* soo ironic.

Mini-KISS (sans Mini-ABBA):
http://www.matteblack.com/minikiss/image/dsc_7123.jpg
[more pics]

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

Yeah, they laid that stuff on pretty thick. I don't think that they learned any lesson from Haley Berry's Oscar speech. At the same time, this show is being watched by a different demographic than Will & Grace. I felt like everything they were saying was obvious, but then I hang around with gay peole a lot. There are a lot of people in america who have NO contact with gay people (that they know of) and that have really warped (IMO) views of the whole thing, so that message was probably for them.

My guess is that post-show Reichen is put on the speaking circuit, but events organizers tell him that he can leave Chip at home... At least Chip broke down that long-standing stereotype that gay people can't be assholes.

Sheepish grins, and More
 

"So what do you do?"
"I'm a lawyer and i'm trained to get you off."

Nice. Need to try some of these sometime, if only for the fleeting pleasure of getting smacked across the face.

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

I don't know where you got this. So many of my gay friends are assholes and are quite talented (avoiding the sohpomoric joke). They can even out-asshole me, and I am a pretty good asshole -- just ask Narcy.

PETA members can't vote, Mini-Kiss, Sheepish grins, and More
 

What's weird to me is that I recognize those guys, even with the makeup, as part of the Time Bandits crew. The guy on the right was Hog; I can't remember the name of the one on the left.

Given that Time Bandits came out in about 1982, you'd think Hollywood would have some other midgets by now.

Sheepish grins, and More
 

I think I shared this one here before, but I once had a bartender tell me he wished he would die and be reincarnated as an ashtray (after lighting my cancer stick). Of course I asked why, and he said, "'Cuz then you would wipe your butt all over me."

I still don't really get it.

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

j-o-k-e. you can look it up on dictionary.com if you need to.

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

joke n.

1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4. Informal.
1. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
2. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.

Okay . . . so where do you come in?

Yo, Tony, where's da sample, Chip and Reichen and the Printer
 

It's ok if you don't get it. Unfortunately PLF will not allow me to explain it. You see, explaining a joke to someone can be tedious and boring for those who got it.

Moving along...

I wish I lived in SF so that I could go an see Dot Com! - The Musical... Salon review here - http://www.salon.com/tech/review/200...com/index.html